


Outside Hearts

by Sheisme



Category: Glee
Genre: Actress Quinn, Adorkable Rachel, Eventual Smut, F/F, Faberry, Famous Quinn, Fluff and Smut, brittana
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-27
Updated: 2017-01-27
Packaged: 2018-09-20 06:47:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 37
Words: 161,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9479951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sheisme/pseuds/Sheisme
Summary: **This is an older work. Just bringing it over to AO3.Rachel Berry's world is about to be turned upside down when one of Hollywood's most sought-after young actresses, Quinn Fabray, abruptly and mysteriously leaves her fame behind, moves to Ohio and tries to have a normal life while attending McKinley High. (Faberry w/ some Brittana)





	1. You Were So Famous, I Couldn't Resist

**Author's Note:**

> Don't mind me. Just posting my old Faberry story to AO3.

It started with a song. One fucking song. Rachel Berry always knew music would change her life, but she never expected it would lead her here. Right here. On the doorstep of Quinn Fabray's house. Shaking, weak, nervous, sweating from the California heat and having absolutely no clue what she was doing here, she used every ounce of strength she had to raise her knuckles to the front door. She had no idea what she would say or how she would say it, but with that first echoing knock, she knew she'd simply have to rely on instinct. Because there was no going back now.

To understand how Rachel got here to this sad, pathetic point on her proverbial scabbed knees with her heart completely exposed for all the world to see, you have to go back. Way back to her junior year of high school. That's where it started. Junior year. In the choir room. With that fucking song.

\--

Rachel nervously lingered at her locker, peering through the grates in the locker door just in time to see a blurry version of Finn Hudson twirling his drumsticks as he walked into the choir room. Avoiding Finn had been her newfound hobby after things had ended disastrously between them last year. Since then, she had developed a penchant for hallway espionage, tracking his every move so she wouldn't have to deal with him face to face. The only time she was forced to interact with him was in glee club. But she sure as hell wasn't about to quit. Glee club was hers. She was there from its inception. It was her baby and she refused to let a boy come between her and her one true passion.

Still, she kept her distance. She watched closely as Finn fully disappeared out of view, unable to focus on anything else.

"Berry!"

Rachel jumped. Her heart leapt up into her throat. She let out a squeal, abruptly turned around and rammed her shoulder into the locker door.

"Ouch." She grabbed her shoulder and winced while accidentally dropping her chemistry book.

"Wow. Smooth, Berry."

Rachel bent down to pick up her book and looked up to see Santana Lopez in her Cheerios uniform hovering over her and shaking her head.

"Taking up voyeurism now, are we? I always knew you had a kinky side." Santana winked at Rachel as she walked away. "Britt! Wait up!" She ran over to Brittany, grabbed her hand and pulled her toward the choir room.

Rachel closed her locker and reluctantly followed them. She took her seat in the front row and waited for rehearsal to begin. She was hoping to make it through practice without having to actually interface with anybody. That wish was short-lived when she felt someone tap on her shoulder.

"Hey, do you think it's true?"

Rachel turned around to see Kurt's eyes grow wide with wonderment.

"Huh?"

"You didn't hear?" asked Kurt.

"Hear what?"

"Are you guys talking about what I think you're talking about?" asked Tina, as she took a seat next to Rachel.

"I have no idea," replied a confused Rachel.

"Oh, it's true," Artie chimed in. "Totally legit. I saw her myself."

"No way. When did you see her?" asked Kurt.

"This morning. In the front office."

Rachel was tired of everyone talking around her about something she was obviously kept in the dark about. "Wait, what the hell are you guys talking about?"

"Rachel, have you been living under a rock?" asked Kurt, as he moved stray hair out of his face. "McKinley High has its very own celebrity walking the halls."

"Well that's very nice, but I'm not famous yet, Kurt," countered Rachel.

"Very funny. I'm talking about Quinn Fabray. She's here. At McKinley. Like…going here. For school."

Rachel shifted in her seat. Her ears perked up at the sound of Quinn's name. "The Quinn Fabray? Star of 'Outside Hearts' Quinn Fabray? Jessica Shay, herself, is going here?"

"So…you're a fan?"

Rachel turned around, adjusted her skirt and faced forward. "Not really. I've just seen the show on occasion."

"Right. Well…yes. That Quinn Fabray." Kurt stood up and walked over to the piano. Tina followed suit, leaving Rachel to take in the gravity of what she just found out. To her left, she could hear the other glee club members buzzing about the news. She tried to lean in a bit to hear their whispers, but was interrupted by one of Mr. Schue's overly dramatic grand entrances.

"Hey guys!" He pranced in and grabbed his dry erase marker. "Now before anyone says anything, yes, the rumors are true." He turned around and was met with a dozen pairs of eyes hanging on to his every word. "I did get a haircut."

Half the group rolled their eyes while the other half snickered as Mr. Schue turned to the whiteboard and began writing.

"Our theme this week is: Welcome."

"Welcome?" scoffed Mercedes.

"Yes. Welcome. As in, let's welcome our new student. Now, besides my new haircut, I figured I'd address the other rumor running wild among us. Yes, we have a new, somewhat well-known student at McKinley. And I want you all to make her feel at home."

"Is she joining glee?" asked Tina, a little too excitedly.

"Who cares?" Santana deadpanned, complete with an epic eye-roll.

"Hey, if she can sing, let's get her in here," said Artie.

Everyone knew what that meant. They all immediate grew silent and looked over at Rachel. She looked at all of them, trying to figure out why they were so intent on staring at her.

"What?"

"Rachel, you don't have anything to say about getting Quinn to join glee club?" Mr. Schue was careful to approach the subject gently, without making any sudden movements.

Rachel shrugged. "If she wants to join, then fine."

Santana rolled her eyes, yet again and sighed. "Unbelievable."

"What?"

Santana shook her head, "Nothing."

After that, Rachel remained noticeably silent, as she had been since school started a month ago. Her demeanor had altered drastically since last year. She was no longer the loud, opinionated know-it-all everyone had come to know her as. Something within her had changed around the time she and Finn broke up.

She glanced over in his general direction and caught his eye for a brief moment. They both quickly looked away, casually pretending their eyes hadn't met. The awkwardness still lingered.

Mr. Schue excitedly clapped his hands. "Okay, now that that's settled, who's up? Rachel?"

Rachel was caught off guard. "Oh…No thank you. I...I don't have anything prepared."

Santana looked at Rachel as if she had sprouted a second head. "So...you're actually giving us a Rachel-free singing environment? Can we freeze this moment?"

Rachel let the remark roll off her back. "I'm just not feeling up to it right now." She could feel everyone's eyes fall upon her, but she remained focused on the cold, tiled ground. It wasn't like her to relinquish the spotlight like this, but lately she didn't seem to care. Something other than stardom was weighing more heavily on her mind.

"All right. Anyone else?"

Puck raised his hand. "I've got something that works with the 'welcome' theme. I know Quinn's not here to hear it, but how about a little Guns 'n Roses?"

"The floor is all yours."

As Rachel prepared herself to smile her way through Puck's rousing rendition of "Welcome to the Jungle," she tried not to focus on her increasingly sweaty palms and elevated heart rate and wondered how many more welcome songs she'd have to sit through today before she could go home.

\--

Word of the "Outside Hearts" star attending McKinley had spread quickly and by the next day, the name Quinn Fabray was on everybody's lips. Rachel couldn't walk the halls without hearing that name echo in her ears.

Rachel was lost in her own world while walking to her next class. She was too busy trying to pin down one of the millions of thoughts floating around in her head. The thought she managed to grab on to was the idea of actually meeting Quinn Fabray in person. What would she say? How would she act? Why did she even care that she was going to school here? She was just another person. No different than herself. Sure, she was paparazzi fodder and had legions of autograph seekers. But Rachel would have all that herself, soon enough. She decided it really wasn't that big a deal. Her last movie was only so-so, anyway. By this point, Rachel was so deep in thought, she didn't even notice the six foot tall figure approaching her.

"Rachel," uttered Finn, nervously.

Even her own name couldn't snap her out of her daze.

"Rachel."

Suddenly, she realized that "Rachel" was meant for her and it was coming from the mouth of the boy she used to fawn over day and night. Before he could speak her name one more time, she managed to maneuver around him and run right into the girls' bathroom. She slammed the door behind her and breathed a sigh of relief.

"Hiding from someone?"

Rachel whipped around and was met with an angelic face. It only took her a second to realize that Quinn Fabray was standing right in front of her, washing her hands. Christ, she washes her hands. Up til now, Rachel didn't even believe a girl like Quinn even went to the bathroom. She just seemed too perfect.

"Uh..." Rachel couldn't help but stare. She was enraptured by her 5'9" frame, her alabaster skin unmarked by any blemish, her green eyes full of electricity and light, her dizzying floral print dress and her perfectly coifed blond hair. She does exist. In the flesh. Standing right in front of her. She was real. And she was also staring at Rachel, waiting for a response.

Rachel's doe eyes finally pulled away from Quinn and searched the room for help. The sinks were of no help at all. The soap dispensers just hung there on the wall, not lifting a finger to help. The mirror only made things worse when it showed Rachel exactly how pathetic she looked at this moment. In front of Quinn Fabray. Flawless Quinn Fabray. Nope. No help from the mirror. Rachel was going to have to rely on her wits to get her out of this. Before she could get a word out, the bathroom door swung open, hitting Rachel and causing her to lurch forward and tumble towards the sink. And that was the nail in the coffin. She was done for.

"Are you okay?" asked Flawless Quinn Fabray.

Rachel couldn't speak. All Quinn got in response was a few jumbled noises and what sounded like a baby trying to form its first word. Any chance of salvaging this moment was long gone. Rachel stood there, embarrassed, afraid and hopeless. She gave Quinn a little shrug and ran out of the bathroom as quickly as she ran in. Now she had to add Flawless Quinn Fabray to the list of people she had to avoid.


	2. I Don't Really Know Her, I Only Know Her Name

By the time Friday rolled around, Rachel was glad the week was almost over. Even her Friday night Glee rehearsal seemed like an insurmountable task. Since her run-in with Quinn Fabray, every day added a new level of stress and nervousness. Would this be the day Quinn joined Glee? Would she walk into the room, see that poor, pathetic girl who couldn't form a string of coherent words together and think 'Oh, she's in glee? Must be a loser's club' and then walk out? With each passing day, even though her anxiety kept building, it seemed less and less likely that Quinn would be lending her vocals to New Directions.

Rachel absentmindedly watched as Brittany led Santana to their seats. Brittany was engaging her girlfriend in a story about getting lost in her closet this morning. Santana tried to hide her smirk and playfully nudged Brittany's thigh.

Rachel smiled for the first time that week. Maybe today wouldn't be so bad after all. Of course, there are always those moments when one speaks too soon. And this was one of those moments because the second Rachel felt a little bit of her anxiety fall away, Finn excitedly charged into the choir room.

"Hey guys! Guess who I ran into on the way here?"

He turned around and all eyes were focused on the doorway where a young blonde stood looking tentative, yet giving off the perception that she actually owned that doorway. And the entire room, for that matter.

Rachel stiffened up immediately. She wanted so badly to look away, but her eyes wouldn't let her. They were probably afraid that they'd never be able to see such perfection ever again and wanted to soak up as much as they could.

Quinn took a step forward, fully revealing the same perfect form Rachel had encountered in the bathroom four days ago.

The room was silent. The only movement Rachel noticed was Santana's mouth falling half-open. She was practically ogling her; moving her eyes up and down, studying Quinn's head to her feet. Seeing how gorgeous Quinn Fabray was in person obviously had a tangible effect on her. She ever-so-discreetly reached over and took Brittany's hand, holding it a little tighter than she normally does. Rachel couldn't help but smile at the sight of Santana staking her claim over Brittany. It was nice to know that even Santana Lopez had her moments of insecurity. Santana cleared her throat and casually looked around the room once she realized her ogling may have lasted a little too long.

Mr. Schue got up and greeted her.

"Hi Quinn, welcome to the glee club. Have a seat."

"Thanks." Quinn found an empty seat three chairs down from Rachel. Finn eagerly followed and sat next to her.

"So Quinn, why don't you tell us a little bit about yourself," said Mr. Schue as he took a seat on the piano bench.

Before Quinn could respond, Santana stood up.

"I got this. Mr. Schue, don't you read US Weekly? Allow me: She's from LA, she's a notorious drug addict, she's had three abortions, has an eating disorder, she's a raging, demanding bitch on set, she's left a trail of broken hearts among many Hollywood heartthrobs and she picks up her own dry cleaning...just like me." She looked over at Quinn. "Does that about cover it?"

"Santana!" Finn shot her a dirty look.

Quinn forced a smile and shrugged. "I think you pretty much nailed it."

Rachel leaned over, pulled at Santana's arm and whispered, "Sit down."

"What? I'm just trying to lighten the mood."

Kurt leaned forward. "Well I, for one, would like to officially welcome you. Hi. I'm Kurt. And you're fabulous. I absolutely love your work."

"Oh...uh…thank you. Thanks. It's nice to meet you."

"Kurt, calm your tits and quit your fangirling," barked Santana as she took her seat.

"All right, everyone. I have your assignment for next two weeks." Mr. Schuester grabbed a stack of papers from the desk. "I want you all to learn and perform more obscure songs. Songs that you don't normally hear on the radio. We need to diversify. Most of these are fairly current, just not getting a lot of airplay. Now, I don't really know any of these songs, so I'm just going to assign them at random."

Puck raised his hand. "If you don't know the songs, how did you find them?"

"I did some googling. Talked to some people online who seem to know a lot about music. Hey, do you guys know what a Tumblr is?"

Nobody answered. They were too busy looking over their song assignments.

Mr. Schue handed Rachel her song. "Rachel, I'd like you to team up with Quinn for this assignment."

Rachel's brain sparked. She could swear she heard an actual explosion.

"Wait, what?"

"She's new. You're experienced. And I'd like to see how well your voices blend together."

Rachel looked over at Flawless Quinn Fabray, who was looking right back at her. Her eyebrows arched as she gave a tiny shrug. Quinn then stood up and made her way over to Rachel. Her clacking heels reverberating through the room. The closer Quinn got, the further up Rachel's head went until the blonde was hovering over her.

"So…you're Rachel?"

All she could do was nod as Quinn took a seat next to her. She gently reached over and took the paper from Rachel's hand. And Rachel let it happen. It was all she could do. Just the feeling of the paper sliding out of her hands was enough to render her motionless.

Quinn perused the lyrics and raised her hand. "Excuse me. Um…I've never heard this song before."

"Good. That's kind of what I wanted," said Mr. Schue.

Quinn kept reading the page. "These lyrics are kind of…intense."

Mr. Schue read a couple lines from the song and nodded. "Well, look at it as a challenge."

Quinn pursed her lips, a bit unsure of exactly how to react to that statement. She looked over at Rachel. "So, I guess we can meet up sometime next week to practice?"

Before Rachel could answer, Artie and Tina made their way to the center of the room.

"Mr. Schue, we prepared a little something for this week's Welcome assignment. And we just wanted to say hi and welcome to Quinn."

As the music started, Artie spun around, rolled up to Quinn and started singing.

"I could stick around and get along with you, hello.

It doesn't really mean that I'm into you, hello.

It's all right, I'm getting dizzy, just enjoy the party,

It's all right with me if you don't have that much to say,

Kinda like this thing, but really you should know

I just came to say hello."

Brittany, Finn and Mike jumped up from their chairs and joined Artie and Tina, startling Quinn. She looked at them a bit skeptically, but tried to keep her composure. She leaned over to Rachel.

"Do you guys do this every week?"

Rachel smiled nervously as she watched her friends dance around and sing for the unsuspecting new girl.

"Kinda like this thing but really you should know,

I just came to say hello."

Once the song ended, Quinn shifted in her seat and looked around. She started clapping.

"Wow. That was…unexpected. You guys are really good. So, you sing and people just…join in?"

"Pretty much," replied Finn.

"What if you don't know the song?" asked Quinn.

"You learn to kind of just go with it," said Mr. Schue. "So what do you think, Quinn? Do you want to join the glee club?"

Rachel looked over, curious about what Quinn's response would be. Part of her wanted to hear 'yes.' The other part was hoping for a 'no.' For some reason, Quinn's presence had a way of making Rachel's brain become disjointed. Upon each second of waiting for a response, Rachel became more and more agitated. Why wasn't she answering? What was there to think about?

"I don't know." Quinn looked back at Rachel. "I guess we'll see how things go."

\--

The following week, Rachel could feel a sense of impending doom. She hadn't yet attempted to contact Quinn about their duet and they had to perform next week. She closed her locker and noticed a shock of blonde hair at the end of the hall. She didn't need to look twice to know that it was Quinn. Her face was one she had seen so many times on her TV. It was almost surreal to see it in person. She knew avoidance was no longer an option, so she prepared herself to go talk to her. That is until her ex-boyfriend rounded the corner and set up shop right in front of Lima's most famous resident. If there was ever a moment Rachel wanted to hit her locker, this was it.

"Berry, give it up. He's moved on."

Rachel turned to see who was interrupting her sulk-fest. "Leave me alone, Santana."

"Oh come on, Stumpy the Wonder Troll, don't be so bitter."

Rachel's anger level had reached its limit.

"Santana, shut up! I'm so sick of hearing your constant bitchiness. You just keep hovering, waiting for me to think I can't possibly feel any lower and then you swoop in and find a way to make me feel worse. What do you get out of this?" Rachel turned to walk away.

"Hey wait," Santana called after her. She grabbed Rachel by the arm and turned her around.

"What? I'm not crying."

"I know. I didn't think you were."

"Then what do you want?"

"I wanted to say it's about fucking time!" exclaimed Santana.

Rachel pulled her arm away from the Cheerio. "What's about time?"

"You finally fought back. You haven't done that since last year. You've just been taking everything I throw at you and haven't had any kind of snide response. It makes my brutal honesty a lot less fun."

"What's your point?"

"My point is, I miss the loudmouth, annoying Rachel with the grating, yet feisty, win-at-all-costs personality. What the hell happened to her? She's been neutered. Most likely by Gigantor over there. What happened between you and Finn?"

Rachel couldn't figure why exactly Santana was so concerned about her.

"It just…it didn't work out." Rachel decided it was better to be vague than to flat-out lie. Besides, Santana had a way of calling bullshit when someone was lying.

"Something had to have happened. What did he do to you?"

"Nothing. Things just got really intense for me one night and I think we both realized that it wasn't going to work. I don't want to deal with it. It's just easier to not have to face him."

Santana looked back at Quinn and Finn. "I don't even know how or why she's talking to him. It's bizarre. That boy has zero game." She turned back to face Rachel. "Are you really going to let Finn Hudson determine your happiness? He can go eat a bag of dicks."

Rachel smiled and shook her head. "It's not Finn. It's me."

They both turned their attention to the sound of Quinn's voice and Finn's laugh.

"Then why have you been looking over there every five seconds?"

Rachel was caught, but she refused to admit it.

"I didn't realize I was. I have to go. My dad's are expecting me."

"Whatever. I have better things to do, anyway." Santana walked past Rachel, brushing her shoulder along the way.

Rachel turned abruptly and almost slammed right into Quinn, her face at Quinn's chest level. She forced her eyes to look elsewhere and figured the floor was as good a place as any to focus on.

"Oh, sorry. I…I didn't see you," said Rachel, wondering how ninja Quinn managed to sneak up behind her when she was fifty feet away five seconds ago.

"Funny, you seem to be the only one," quipped Quinn.

Rachel closed her eyes, took a break and composed herself before finally looking Quinn in the eye.

"Sorry, it was a bad joke," offered Quinn. "I was just going to say I realized we hadn't really set up a time to work on the song."

Quinn was met with silence, so she continued. "So I was thinking maybe we could meet at your house?"

Whoa. Rachel was not expecting that. Quinn Fabray. In her house. In her room. It was too much. It was all too much. All she could do was nod.

"Okay then. How about tomorrow at 6?"

Rachel nodded once more.

"Okay then. What's your address?"

"Um…address?"

"Yeah. So I know what direction to aim my car. When I come over. To practice," answered Quinn, rather condescendingly. She started digging through her bag and pulled out a pen. "Here, write it down."

She handed the pen to Rachel and held out her hand. Rachel swallowed hard and reached her shaky hand out to grab Quinn's. Her hand was smooth, almost as if it was made of pure lotion. Rachel was fixated on the three small freckles near the base of her thumb. She wrote each number and letter out very slowly and carefully, trying to keep it as legible as possible as she tried to cover up the shaking. Quinn's soft fingers wiggled slightly in Rachel's hand – a reaction to the tickling of the ballpoint pen. While keeping her eyes on Rachel, she slowly pulled her hand away and blew on the fresh ink. Rachel felt the air coming from Quinn's lips and it sent chills down her spine. Her eyes followed Quinn as she walked past.

"Great. See you tomorrow, Rachel."

\--

Rachel moved her head along to the music coming from her headphones as she thumbed through the pages of the latest issue of Backstage West. She rolled over on her stomach and her pink fuzzy slippers swayed back and forth with her feet. She normally saved her Backstage West reading for Saturday mornings with breakfast, but this evening she needed a stress-reliever. Once she reached the last page, she flung it over to the growing pile of back-issues and reached for her current issue of People Magazine. The music of Miss Saigon was the current soundtrack in her ears. She was deeply immersed in the music while reading about the the latest movies coming to theaters. When she turned the page, her heart palpitated. A very familiar face graced the upper half of page 13. Rachel was captivated. She pulled the magazine closer in order for her eyes to see every flawless angle of that face. In the photo, her hair is disheveled, she's wearing a skin-tight cat suit and holding a gun. Rachel glanced at the caption below.

"Quinn Fabray stars as Emily Stark 'Ten Stories Down,' out in December"

Her curiosity got the best of her and she read the article that followed.

"Quinn Fabray, the most sought-after up-and-comer in Hollywood stars in her third feature film. A different genre than her last two films, in 'Ten Stories Down,' Emily Stark is in a race against time to figure out who framed her for her boyfriend's murder. A far cry from her hit TV series, Fabray says this film was "…so fun to do. They even let me do a few of my own stunts. It was a challenge, but I loved it." Since wrapping this film and then leaving her show at the end of last season, Fabray has been somewhat M.I.A - most likely taking a well-deserved vacation."

Rachel traced the contours of Quinn's face with her finger. She didn't exactly know why, but she was definitely looking forward to seeing if Emily Stark would be able to clear her name. She brought her hand up to the top of the page and lingered there for a minute. She tore the page out, folded it carefully and tucked it away under her bed.

She looked over at her clock and groaned. In a half hour, Quinn Fabray would be in her room. And with the way Rachel's luck has been going, Quinn would likely be doing most of the talking. She thought back to earlier that day and cringed remembering how dumbstruck she was. She rolled over, grabbed her pillow and placed it over her head, muffling the scream she let out.

Once she was ready to see the light of day again, she removed the pillow and was met with a tall figure standing over her.

Terrified of the shadow above her, Rachel let out a blood curdling scream.

Quinn jerked back and covered her ears.

Rachel jumped off the bed and took out her headphones.

"You scared the crap out of me."

"I'm early. I'm sorry. Your dad let me in."

Rachel tried to catch her breath. "Sorry I screamed."

"Sorry I scared you."

It took a moment for Rachel's breathing to regulate. Once the rush left her body, she realized exactly what was happening. Quinn was in her room, staring at her. And suddenly, the rush came back. She thought she had enough time to prepare for Quinn's visit. As it stood, her hair was a mess and her shirt was wrinkled from lying on it.

Quinn looked at Rachel's feet. "Nice slippers."

The brunette looked down and immediately kicked them off, wondering if the embarrassment would end any time soon. "Oh…they're just really comfortable."

"Should I come back? You seemed a little busy."

"No, it's fine. I was just…releasing some tension."

"You know, there are other ways to do that," quipped Quinn.

Rachel's face immediately got warm. She was red up to her ears. Did Quinn Fabray really just say that? How was she supposed to respond?

"That was joke, Rachel."

Quinn looked around the room. She examined the contents of the walls, the tributes to Barbra Streisand, the Broadway posters, the musical albums on her desk. She grabbed the stuffed animal from Rachel's bed.

"Cute."

Rachel had a hard time telling if Quinn was making fun of her or being sincere.

"Thanks." She opted out of telling her his name was Mr. Friggles. The chances of Quinn Fabray having any kind of stuffed animal were likely pretty slim. And Rachel was still trying to gauge whether or not Quinn was being sincere about things.

The silence between them was deafening. They each stood there on opposite sides of the room, both clamoring for something to say.

Rachel caved first. "You're a lot taller than I thought you'd be."

Quinn stepped out of her shoes and immediately became a few inches shorter. "I almost always wear heels. I guess I should probably invest in some winter shoes eventually."

"Lima winters can be unpredictable." Rachel watched the blonde's feet digging into the soft carpet. She was quite proud of herself for being able to sustain some semblance of a conversation and wanted to keep going. Small talk was the key. "S…so how are you liking McKinley?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's okay. It's different. Kind of an adjustment. A bit overwhelming. People are…well, everyone seems to have a different reaction toward me."

Rachel took a few steps closer. "Yeah. Most of us have never even seen a celebrity. Kurt said he swore he saw Evan Rachel Wood ordering an iced coffee at the Lima Bean once, but there are many holes in his story." She cautiously sat down on the bed. "Are they at least being nice?"

"Some are." Quinn ran her fingers over the fur of the stuffed animal. "People are like that anywhere I go, I guess. There are different categories. Those who stare, but don't say anything. Those who want to hang around me all the time. Those who are nice to my face and mean behind my back. Those who are mean to my face. Those who ignore me altogether. And those who can't seem to get a word out around me."

Rachel sighed and nervously chuckled. "I wonder what category I'm under."

"It's okay. I'm used to it. So, are you naturally shy? Or is it just me you don't talk to."

Rachel thought for a minute and at that moment, started to feel a little too comfortable. Once the words escaped her mouth, she instantly regretted it. "Actually, I don't really know what I am."

"That's an interesting statement. Why do you say that?"

"Nevermind. I don't know why I said that."

Quinn nodded and put the animal back on the bed. She walked over to look at the DVD collection next to the TV. Rachel's stomach dropped and she mentally cursed at herself. Why hadn't she done a quick sweep of her room before Quinn came over? She wanted to run and dive in front of her DVDs yelling 'Nooooooooo!' But she couldn't. She knew it was only a matter of time before Quinn found –

"'Outside Hearts' seasons one through four, huh? So you're a fan?" Quinn studied the cover, watching her own face stare back at her.

Rachel gulped. "I…I got it as a Hanukkah gift last year. It's…it's a cute show." All she wanted at this moment was to dive under her bed and not come out until graduation. She watched Quinn examine the DVD closely. "Do you miss it?"

Quinn didn't answer.

Rachel took this opportunity to observe Quinn more closely. Suddenly, she didn't seem so terrifying. Maybe it was because she wasn't as tall as Rachel remembered. Or maybe it was the fact that she appeared somewhat vulnerable in this moment. She was barefoot, in a stranger's home and holding an object that obviously brought up some bittersweet memories. Rachel gathered the courage to ask her what she had been wanting to ask her all week.

"Why did you leave LA?"

Quinn put it back on the shelf and cleared her throat. "So this song. Have you been learning it at all?"

So much for small talk. "I downloaded it yesterday. We might have to change the key a bit to fit my – I mean our voices." She went over to her computer and brought up the song.

Quinn sat down on the bed. "What do you think of it?"

"The song?"

"Yeah. I mean, do you feel weird at all about singing it?"

"Not really. I think it'll be okay," said Rachel.

"You wouldn't want to sing it with Finn or Puck or someone else?"

Rachel froze at the mention of Finn's name. "No. Not really," she answered curtly. "Why? Do you?"

Quinn remained silent.

"Are you and Finn like…dating?" Rachel immediately regretting asking that because she was terrified of the answer.

"I don't know. I mean, I know he wants to. He was hell bent on getting me to join glee. And he's always just…there. Every time I turn around. It's kind of sweet. He's not really like any of the guys I used to hang around. You don't think he's cute?"

"I used to." She hit play on her computer. "We should really start practicing."

Quinn stood up. "Well, let's get to it then."


	3. It Started Out With A Kiss

The following week, it was time for Rachel and Quinn to perform their song. They had only rehearsed it once. Rachel wanted at least one more day of practice, but Quinn didn't seem all that interested in perfecting it and said that she felt confident enough in the two hours they put into it. Every time Rachel found her at school, Quinn either turned and walked the other way or said she was too busy to talk. Rachel tried not to take it personally, but it was in her nature to assume that if someone couldn't talk to her, they were automatically avoiding her. They didn't talk much more the night Quinn came over. Any words exchanged were mainly about the song arrangement. Quinn didn't seem too exciting over the prospect of performing it, but Rachel thought that maybe it was because her voice was too intimidating and dominant. Every time she sang a note, Quinn would look at her in a way that was hard to describe. Was it jealousy? Annoyance? Reverence? Either way, Rachel was now under the impression that she had somehow upset Quinn and that's why she was avoiding her.

Rachel was mentally kicking herself. Perhaps she should have complimented Quinn's voice more. She should have told her it was beautiful and had perfect pitch. She should have shown more interest in her voice and showered her with compliments because that's what she was used to. That's the thing about hindsight. It's only apparent if you're looking back.

Rachel sat nervously in her chair before glee club started, checking the door every ten seconds for Quinn. They were performing first today and she wanted enough time to tell the blonde just how amazing her voice really was. Maybe it would help ease the tension a little bit. Two minutes later, Finn walked in escorting Rachel's duet partner. She was starting to get nauseated seeing them practically joined at the hip all the time. Quinn spotted Rachel and coyly tucked her hair behind her ear as she made her way over.

"Hey. Can I talk to you for a second?"

Rachel sheepishly stood up. "Yeah. I wanted to talk to you, too."

Quinn leaned in to whisper. "I don't think I can do this."

"What do mean?" Rachel panicked. She was convinced she had done something to really piss her off.

"I just don't know if I can do it. Maybe if it were a different song or—"

"But you have to. We have to. We practiced. You sounded really good. You have such an amazing voice." Rachel laid it on thick. "You hit every note perfectly."

Quinn smirked, unsure of what to say. "Thank you. But it's not that. I just…I don't feel comfortable, okay?"

Rachel reached her hand out to touch Quinn's arm, but immediately pulled back. Flawless Quinn Fabray probably didn't like to be touched. Best to just say it with words.

"It'll be fine. I have a hard time thinking that you of all people would have stage fright."

"It's not stage fright, it's—"

Mr. Schuester chose that exact moment to start. "All right, we've got a lot of songs to get through today, so let's get going. Rachel, Quinn…you're up!"

Rachel looked back at Quinn and motioned with her head. "Come on. I promise the jitters will fade once you start singing." She was not about to be ousted from her own performance. She may have been a little off this year, but she was still Rachel Freaking Berry. And she was a performer. The show must go on at any cost.

Quinn reluctantly made her way to the center of the floor, three feet to the right of Rachel. The brunette nodded to the band and the music started. Rachel knew every word, every note, every run by heart and she was looking forward to wowing the glee kids once again with her vocal prowess. Besides, she was one step closer to her dream. She was already performing side-by-side with a legitimate celebrity. She looked over at Quinn, who seemed to be focused on the empty chair Rachel was sitting in moments ago. Her face gave off no emotion. It was simply unreadable.

The music swelled and Quinn finally looked over at Rachel. Their eyes remained intent on each other. Rachel was trying to carry Quinn to a place of confidence. This was it. Their first notes were about to be sung in 3…2…

Right at that moment, Quinn's eyes lost contact with Rachel's. Her body shaking, she looked around the room.

"Quinn, that's our cue," Rachel whispered.

Quinn looked at her and mouthed "I'm sorry." Before Rachel knew it, she was gone. She bolted out the door before anyone had time to react. Rachel closed her eyes and stood there. Part of her was completely embarrassed. The other part was concerned. The music just kept playing while Rachel stood in silence, trying to decide whether or not to go it alone.

Finn stood up to go after Quinn. That was the moment Rachel made her decision.

"I'll go." Those were the first words she had uttered to Finn in four months. She was too out of breath from the adrenaline and the running to even realize it. When she reached the hallway, Quinn was rounding the corner. Rachel sprinted after her, her breath uneven and her heart pounding. As she rounded the corner, she watched the blonde run into the bathroom. Rachel slowed her sprint down to a trot. She needed time to prepare. What would she say? What the hell even happened?

\--

She tentatively pushed the door open.

"Quinn?" Her voice quivered. The door opened fully to reveal a thin, blonde girl grasping each side of the middle sink, staring down into the white porcelain. Rachel was taken aback by the sight. Never had she seen someone look so vulnerable and scared. Quinn's arms were visibly shaking. Her normal pallor had turned slightly gray.

"Go away."

Rachel's initial reaction of anger and humiliation quickly melted away.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," responded the shaky voice. "I just need a minute."

Rachel closed the gap between them; each footstep sounding louder than the next. She would make a terrible ninja. Not knowing exactly how much space to leave between them, she leaned against the first sink and reached her hand out to touch Quinn's arm. Once she made contact, her fingers gently massaged her forearm.

"It's okay. It happens to the best of us."

Four seconds after initial contact, Quinn flinched and pulled her arm away. "I said I didn't want to do it."

"I know. I just thought you were nervous." Rachel reached her hand out again, hoping to comfort the other girl in some way.

Quinn backed away. "Leave me alone, Rachel."

She walked out the door without giving a second look, leaving Rachel to contemplate exactly what just happened.

That was the last Rachel had seen of Quinn that week. She was hoping at some point to casually run into her, but that didn't happen. Besides, what would she say? Quinn was a mystery to her and perhaps she wanted to keep it that way. Still, for some reason, Rachel couldn't stop thinking about her. She couldn't explain it. She didn't know what was happening, but somehow Quinn Fabray had ignited something within her. It was keeping her up at night. She tried to treat it like a song stuck in her head: once she heard it again, it was gone. So she watched an episode of "Outside Hearts" starring Quinn Fabray as Jessica Shay. But all that led to was more confusion and wanting to watch more episodes. So she took the entire DVD set and hid it under her bed. Not unlike hiding porn. She figured 'out of sight, out of mind.'

She was wrong.

Her thoughts took on a life of their own. She couldn't make up her mind about the girl who left her alone and embarrassed in front of the entire glee club. She went from believing Quinn was a scared person in a new environment to thinking she was just a selfish celebrity who had gotten too used to having things her way. Either way, Quinn Fabray was simply untouchable.

By the end of that week, Rachel's brain was fried. She was exhausted of going out of her way to not think about Quinn. But that would just lead to her thinking about why she wasn't thinking about Quinn, which would get her thinking about Quinn all over again. It was a vicious cycle. She needed someone to talk to. Anyone.

She stopped by her locker to drop off some books before her history class. It was her last class of the week and she was thankful to have survived yet another week of school. She could enjoy the weekend. Work on her singing. No distractions. No Finn. And no Person-She's-Not-Allowed-To-Think-About. It would be just her, Sondheim and maybe some Webber.

"Hi Rachel," said Brittany as she was being led away by Santana.

"Hey Brittany." The bell rang and the halls were nearly empty. She watched as the two girls opened a door, looked around outside and disappeared, closing the door behind them.

Rachel closed her locker and walked over to where they were. She was desperate to talk to someone and since Santana had shown some impression of an interest in her, she figured 'why not?' Sure, she may be greeted with a snide comment and some sort of insult, but if she didn't talk to someone soon, her brain might just overload, which could lead to forgetting the lyrics to all her favorite songs. Such a travesty should never be allowed to happen.

So she approached the door they went into, not recognizing it as any classroom she'd ever been in. She pulled it open and was greeted by the site of Brittany up against the wall with Santana's hands all over her. The light was dim and the smell of musk wafted into Rachel's nose. For a janitor's closet, it was relatively clean. Only a mop, a bucket, a broom and some bottles of cleaning spray took up the small space, leaving plenty of room for clandestine meetings of young couples. A stunned Rachel watched as two Cheerios uniforms melded into one. Their lips permanently attached to each other, she had to wonder how they were even breathing. When Santana's hand made its way up Brittany's thigh, she knew this would probably be the time to look away, but she couldn't. It wasn't until her breath caught in her throat when she realized she may have stayed a bit too long.

The girls were deep into their makeout session until the muffled noise from Rachel's shocked reaction caused Santana to sharply look back at who dared disturb them.

"Excuse me, do you mind?"

Rachel didn't know whether or apologize or just close the door and run. So she stood there, hoping someone else would make the decision for her.

"I…I'm sorry. I just needed to talk to you."

"Berry, I have my hand up Brittany's skirt right now. Do you really think this is a good time for me to talk?"

Rachel stepped back. "No, of course not. You're right. I just…shouldn't you be in class?"

"Study hall. I'm…studying anatomy. Really hot anatomy." Santana went back to kissing Brittany, who noticed that Rachel hadn't left yet. She gestured over to the door.

A frustrated Santana broke away from the kiss once more and whispered, "Give me a sec, Brit."

Rachel backed away and closed the door. She prepared for the worst. She prepared for Snix.

Santana peeked her head out of the closet door. "Listen, Berry. I know you want to live bicuriously through me-"

"...that's not a thing…"

"…but watching me mack on Brit is starting to approach creeper status."

"I'm sorry. This is a bad time. I had no idea you…"

"Hey," Santana opened the door a little wider. "Are you okay?"

Rachel shrugged, a bit relieved at Santana's sincerity. "I don't know."

Santana bit her lip and thought for a minute. "Okay. Give me five minutes. Ouch!" She looked back at Brittany. "What?"

Rachel heard Brittany whisper something.

"Okay, okay. Make that ten minutes. Give me ten minutes. We'll talk then."

Rachel shook her head. "Don't worry about it. It's fine. I'm sure it'll pass."

Santana didn't really hear the last part of the response. She immediately went right back to attack Brittany's lips. Rachel watched the gap in the door slowly get smaller as it closed. She couldn't help but smile at the irony of those two making out in the closet.

She was already late for her history class, but meandered a bit. She wasn't in the mood for a history lesson. Unfortunately, she was about to get one as she came face-to-face with her own dating history. Finn, sporting his football jersey and jeans (a combination she absolutely abhorred) was heading in her direction with Quinn following behind him holding something. Upon further observance, Rachel recognized the red, black and white colors of the Cheerios uniform. Could it be? Quinn Fabray a…Cheerio? The thought sickenend her. It was bad enough she was obviously dating Finn, but now she's a cheerleader?

Maybe Rachel was being too hard on her. Maybe all she was doing was trying to fit in. Rachel had tried that once, herself. It did not end well. Finn was a part of that failed plan and as a result, she now had to awkwardly face him every day.

It was an accident, but Rachel somehow locked eyes with Quinn as the gap between them was closing. It didn't last long, however, because Quinn took this opportunity to loop her arm around Finn's arm. That's when Rachel stopped. She had no other way to get to her history class without walking past them, and she did not want to do that. So she turned around and headed for the exit leading to the parking lot. Her weekend was starting early.

It was the first time she had ever ditched a class.

\--

Sunday evenings are the worst. Rachel had never really been bothered by them before, but now a certain amount of fear and dread crept into her psyche with each passing hour. The closer it got to being Monday, the more dramatic her iPod play list would get. She was now on the Les Mis soundtrack. Really, there was no getting any more depressing than this. She needed a break and a change of venue, so she pulled her headphones out and abandoned her iPod on the bed. She padded down the stairs and rummaged around the kitchen. Her dads were out for the evening, so she was on her own for dinner, but hunger wasn't an issue for her tonight. She decided that some fresh air was what she needed to clear her head. Maybe a walk would do the trick. The sun hadn't quite gone down yet, so there was still enough daylight for a short walk.

She opened the front door and charged out of the house, nearly knocking Quinn over in her path. She stopped abruptly and took a few dramatic steps back.

"Whoa!"

"Sorry," said Quinn, who managed to keep her balance. "I guess I need to stop sneaking up on you."

"Yeah," was all Rachel could say.

She stood awkwardly in the doorway, her heart pounding. Why was Quinn Fabray at her door?

Quinn was looking at the trimming of the door instead of directly at Rachel. They were both at a loss for words, Rachel unsure of why she was here and Quinn unsure of the very same thing.

The blonde took a couple steps back and looked around. Rachel stubbornly gripped the doorknob and didn't make a move. She waited. There was no way she was going to speak first.

"So…what did you want?" She failed.

Quinn bit her lip, searching for something to say. She was nervous. Rachel could tell.

"You know, I've been out here for twenty minutes," she finally reveals, uneasily. "I went back to my car a few times. Then would walk back up and then walk back to my car again. I think your neighbor thinks I'm crazy. He just kept watching me."

Or maybe he just recognized her, thought Rachel. She loosened her grip on the doorknob. She looked over at Quinn's car: a bright red Mercedes convertible. Of course. Why wouldn't she have a perfect car.

Quinn slowly backed up and sat down on the front porch steps. Rachel took a deep breath, closed the door and sat down on the porch railing to Quinn's left. Her knotted stomach was being a bastard. Why couldn't she just relax around this girl?

Rachel took this opportunity to really observe Quinn in a way that didn't seem like leering since the other girl wasn't even looking at her. Her attention was on her hands. She was fidgeting. Her flawless hands were fidgeting. The right one – with the three freckles just under her thumb – was massaging her left one. Rachel was enthralled. She moved from her hands down to her jeans. Her perfectly fitted designer jeans. Rachel immediately felt self-conscious when she looked down at her own jeans – the ones from the local Kohl's. She only dwelled for a moment, then it was back to Quinn. Her blonde, shoulder-length hair had a single strand falling in her eyes. Rachel wondered if it bothered her, but she didn't seem to care or notice it. It was the only flaw Rachel could find on this girl. One single strand. She took notice of Quinn's yellow tank top and wondered if she was cold. There was a chill in the air and goose bumps slowly started to appear up her perfectly defined shoulder and down her arm.

"You cold?"

Quinn shook her head. "I'm okay." She paused for a moment then looked up at Rachel. "I wanted to apologize. I shouldn't run out like that."

Rachel felt the knots loosen in her stomach and adjusted her seat on the railing.

"It's okay. I'm sorry you felt uncomfortable."

"I just…" Quinn trailed off. "It was a hard song for me to sing, you know?"

Rachel didn't know. She really couldn't figure out why the girl was so weirded out. Maybe because it was a love song. She did read that Quinn had recently broken up with one of her many tabloid suitors.

"Well, I hope it didn't discourage you." Rachel didn't want to pry too much. "Do you think you'll come back to glee?"

Quinn chuckled.

"What?" Rachel didn't get the joke.

"Yeah. I'll come back."

"Are you sure you want to? You might damage your reputation as the newest Cheerio." Rachel tried not to sound too condescending.

"My reputation already preceded me long before I even came here."

"Why do you even want to be a cheerleader?"

Quinn looked back down at the ground. "I'm just trying to fit in, Rachel. It's not that easy for me."

For the first time since her first encounter with Quinn Fabray, Rachel finally saw things from her point of view. Maybe it really wasn't that easy for her. She got up off the railing and took a seat on the steps next to Quinn.

"Do you miss LA?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah. I feel kind of lost here. I mean, things were crazy there. It was long hours and endless premieres and parties and media lines, but I always had someone telling me what to do and where to go. I feel like I've just…stopped. And I'm kind of floating out in the middle of nowhere with no direction. And no friends."

She mumbled that last part, but Rachel picked it up with her keen sense of hearing.

"There are also some people I miss. Some more than others…"

"So why did you come out here?" Rachel's arm was barely brushing up against Quinn's. She remained as still as possible and wondered who would be the first to move.

"My parents. They weren't too happy with the path I was going down. I mean, they loved that I was bringing in money, but I think they didn't like the choices I was making."

"So they just moved you out here?" Rachel watched Quinn, trying to read her face.

"Kind of. We had a long discussion about it. Well, it was really more them telling me that we're moving. They said they didn't want my reputation and my brand tarnished by what was going on." She looked at Rachel. "Can you believe it? My brand. Their words."

"Is that why you left the show? What about your commitments?" Rachel couldn't believe Quinn was actually telling her all this.

"Yeah…my parents said that some people on the show were a bad influence on me. Besides, I had two films in the works and my schedule just got crazy. I think I was burned out. I mean…I have to go back. I have to do press and promote my next film. Not sure when that'll be, though. They were talking about pushing it back to make it a summer release."

"And your parents will let you?"

"If they want me to get paid, they have to. It's part of my contract. They know that."

"And that's it? I mean, you'll do press and then are you done?"

Quinn shrugged. "I think my parents will let me go back if I sign on for another film. It's hard to say no to that kind of money." Embarrassed, she put her head in her hands. "Wow. That just sounded really stuck up, didn't it?"

Rachel grinned. "It's okay. I know what you meant. So…you obviously have options. I mean, you've got money saved, right?"

"Yeah. My parents set up a trust fund. I get some of it when I'm eighteen and the rest when I'm twenty-one. The car was kind of their way of saying 'thanks for covering our bills.' I mean, I don't mind it."

"What didn't they like about it? Why did they just uproot you?" With every question Rachel asked, there was a long pause before Quinn's answers. Each second of every pause felt like an eternity. All she could hear was her own erratic breathing and she was almost certain it sounded like an asthmatic wookie. Very sexy.

"They kind of wanted me to take a break. And my mom is from here. My grandparents live here, so they wanted to come back to something familiar, I guess."

"But what were you doing that they didn't like?"

Quinn shook her head. Apparently, she didn't want to get into that side of the story.

Rachel let it go. She was amazed Quinn had even shared this much with her and didn't want to push the issue.

"Well, I wouldn't say you don't have friends here," offered Rachel.

Quinn turned to her. "What would you say?"

"Well, you're with Finn…"

This was the moment Quinn moved her arm. Their arms were no longer touching and Rachel immediately felt colder.

"Am I?"

Her answer sounded curt. Rachel had offended her. Again. In some way.

"Aren't you?"

Another long pause. Rachel wasn't cut out for this kind of stress.

Quinn rubbed her left shoulder to warm it up. "Hard to say. I know he'd like to be with me. He's made it pretty clear."

"And what would you like?"

Rachel could swear this was the pause that was going to actually kill her. Why wasn't she answering?

"It's easy with Finn. He's…simple. It's hard to stir up controversy with someone who's simple. So that's a plus." Quinn rested her hands on the porch and leaned back. "He told me about you two."

Rachel's face went numb. She's pretty sure all the blood drained and if Quinn cast a glance in her direction, she'd see a ghost.

She swallowed hard. "Did he say anything? Like…with what happened between us?" She tried to make the question sound as innocuous as possible.

"No. He didn't really get into it. But apparently you've been a "heinous bitch" to him ever since."

"Sounds about right."

"Did he do something to you?" asked Quinn in an almost protective tone.

"No…no. Not really. It was me. Mostly my fault."

Quinn smiled. Was the relief in her eyes? Relief from what?

"So you're with him because it's easy?" At this point, Rachel's teeth started chattering. Not from the cold, but from pure anxiety. Her teeth-chattering gave way to her absent-mindedly tapping her foot.

"I'm not with him, but…I don't know. A lot of things are expected of me, Rachel."

"Is dating Finn one of them?"

"I'm expected to act and be a certain way. Finn…he fits into that really well. I mean, he's not like any one else I've dated."

"You mean he's not a celebrity?"

That may have come off as a bit too harsh, but Quinn rolled with it.

"Well...yeah. It's hard when you're being scrutinized all the time. If you're not acting in a way they want you to, then there's hell to pay."

"I guess it comes with the territory." It was all Rachel could offer.

"Yeah. I mean, it's more than just 'look over here!' and 'pose like this' and 'wear this brand of eye shadow.' It's…keeping up with what they want you to be."

Rachel nodded. She was starting to grasp a little bit of Quinn's backstory, but she was still an enigma.

"What's it like?"

"What?"

"To be chased down by the paparazzi. To be revered and adored and have people ask for your autograph all the time?"

"To be honest, it was great at first. It was exciting. But then somehow that excitement fades pretty quickly. I love the work I do, but it comes with a price."

"Still…must be nice. Your career is already on a huge forward trajectory while I'm stuck in Lima singing my guts out for an audience of twelve."

"You should give yourself more credit than that." Quinn leaned forward. Her arm was once again grazing Rachel's. She struggled for a moment, as if trying to debate what her next words were going to be. "You know, I only joined glee because found out you were in it."

Quinn scooted herself just a little bit closer.

If there was any blood left coursing through Rachel's body at that moment, it had stopped. Everything stopped. She could have sworn even the ambiance noise – the crickets, the passing cars in the distance, the rustling leaves – it had all stopped at that exact moment. Quinn Fabray joined glee because of her? Surely she heard that wrong.

"Me?"

"Yeah." Quinn playfully nudged her. "Ever since you burst through the bathroom door that day. I wondered who this girl was. I was curious about you. You seemed…interesting."

More silence with the exception of breathing. But this time, it was Quinn's breathing – heavy and mostly through her nose. Rachel watched her chest rise and fall as she searched for a response. Any response. Anything at all. It had been about a minute by this point and Rachel couldn't stop staring at Quinn. Not even to muster up a word. Say something, Berry. Anything. Just say something!

"I'm just a girl from Ohio." Her voice cracked. Wow, that sounded really corny. "I mean, yeah I have big dreams, but nothing's happened to me yet that would make me remotely interesting."

Quinn smirked, most likely because Rachel finally responded and the silence of death was over.

"I've heard you sing. I'm pretty a voice like that constitutes as something interesting. I've never seen or heard talent like that anywhere. And I've been a lot of places. Different cities, different countries…"

"But no one knows who I am. And you're…"

"…famous?" Quinn locked eyes with Rachel. "Is that all you see me as?"

She didn't know what to say, but in that moment, something had shifted. Rachel could feel it. It was something in the way Quinn looked at her. Something was happening, but Rachel couldn't tell what it was just yet. Then, she felt something. She looked down to see Quinn's hand resting on her thigh. She looked back up to meet Quinn's eyes once more. They had never left her. The chill in the air had suddenly disappeared. Her skin was cold, but she felt warm on the inside. She didn't think it was possible to be so cold, yet so warm at the same time. She also didn't think it was possible that Quinn Fabray would even show her the slightest bit of interest, but she was wrong. She was very wrong. Because not only was Quinn Fabray touching her thigh, warming her entire body from head to toe, she was also dangerously close to Rachel. And the gap was slowly closing.

What was happening? Rachel could feel her body trembling uncontrollably, no matter how hard she tried to keep it in check. Quinn's eyes were still locked on hers. Not another word was exchanged. It didn't have to be. Rachel knew was what about to happen, though she didn't know why. She broke the stare and looked down to study Quinn's lips, but her time for studying was up. It was the moment of impact. And it was unlike anything Rachel had ever experienced. Quinn's lips were soft and warm and so inviting. She closed her eyes and took it all in. Quinn gently pulled away, but the friction was all too much for Rachel. She wasn't ready to let go, so she leaned forward and took another pass, this time her lips gently grabbing on to Quinn's upper lip. She couldn't remember the last time something felt so weirdly right. This shouldn't be happening. None of this should be happening. But Quinn's guttural moan was proof that it was actually happening. Something in that moan touched Rachel. It felt like she had been drop kicked in the stomach, but in a good way. She was kissing Quinn Fabray and Quinn Fabray was liking it. Rachel leaned into the kiss, softly grazing her tongue along Quinn's. Another moan escaped from the blonde's mouth. This sent Rachel into a tailspin. She reached her hand up to touch Quinn's face.

It was that moment of contact when Quinn pulled away from the kiss. She sat for a moment, contemplating what had just happened. Then she looked at Rachel one last time.

"Please don't say anything."

Before Rachel could respond, Quinn was already sprinting to her car. With one turn of her key, the engine was on and she peeled away.


	4. I Want To See You Be Brave

Rachel spent Sunday night in bed staring at her ceiling and slowly watching it become light outside. It was Monday morning and the dread had started to kick in. She was on her feet ten minutes before her alarm went off. Her brain was a jumbled mess and if she hadn't had the same exact morning routine day in and day out for the last three years, she'd probably be wearing her sock as a scarf and her underwear as a headband. Thankfully, her brain was on autopilot.

Halfway through the two hundred strokes it took to brush her teeth, she stopped. The reflection in the mirror was suddenly fascinating. She watched herself closely, toothbrush hanging out of her mouth, as she moved her face from one side to the other. Without finishing the other hundred strokes, she rinsed her mouth out and wiped her mouth with her hand, slowly lingering on lips as she did so.

When she walked over to the chair next to her bed, she stopped. Confused, she looked around the room. Normally, she took the time to carefully lay out the clothes she would wear the next morning, but last night, she had forgotten to do so. Panicking, she ran to her closet. How on earth could she possibly decide what to wear in such a short amount of time? Breakfast was in exactly seventeen minutes. Flustered, she grabbed the first skirt she could find – a purple mini – and figured the black button down blouse toward the left end of the closet would suffice. Now where were those black tights? They weren't in the middle drawer of her dresser where they normally are. She couldn't possibly go without tights in this skirt, could she? She looked at the clock. Eight minutes until breakfast. Her whole morning would be completely thrown off if she took the time to look for the tights, so she moved on to her hair.

With thirty seconds to spare, she was at the kitchen table just as her dad put a bowl of steaming oatmeal and half a grapefruit in front of her.

"Enjoy, sweetie. I gotta run. Need to get an early start today." He placed a kiss on her forehead and was out the door. She hadn't heard a word he said.

Rachel pushed her oatmeal around for a few minutes, waiting for it to cool. After three spoonfuls and a few bites of grapefruit, her stomach told her that she was crazy if she was going to attempt to put anything more in it. Butterflies were taking up too much room in there.

By the time she got to school, her head was wrecked. Too many questions had been plaguing her. No matter how many times she replayed that kiss in her head, it always left her with the same questions. Why did it happen? Why was she obsessing over it? Was Quinn thinking about it? Was it planned? What does it mean? Is Quinn gay? Is that what she was trying to tell her? Why did it excite Rachel so much? That last question was the scariest of all of them and the one she tried to think about the least. There really was no reason why her body should have reacted that way, was there?

Once again, Rachel found herself at school anxiously waiting to see if she and Quinn could cross paths again. Sure enough, as she was passing the water fountain in the south corridor, Quinn was walking her way. Rachel took comfort in the fact that she was alone this time. Finn was nowhere to be found. As she got closer, she straightened up and pulled her chin up to at least appear somewhat confident. Her insides were screaming with uncertainty, but at least she looked fearless. The second her eyes met Quinn's, she flashed a genuinely friendly smile, being very careful not to show her teeth. Santana had once told her that when she smiled with all her teeth, it looked like she was going to swallow someone's head whole. Instead of smiling back, Quinn showed no change in emotion. At least not in her face. She simply looked away from Rachel and kept her eyes forward as she walked right past her with no acknowledgment that she was even there. Rachel stopped and closed her eyes for a moment. It hurt to look at anything that wasn't Quinn. She turned around and watched the blonde walk away without any sign of giving Rachel a second look.

Yup. It was going to be one of those days.

By the time glee club rolled around, Rachel was pacing outside the door. She had no idea if Quinn would even show up. That would require actually talking to Rachel and she obviously didn't have much interest in that. Trying not to make her pacing too obvious, she pretended to read a couple flyers that were hung up on the door. Out of the corner of her eye, she could tell that Finn was heading this way. It was kind of hard to miss his lanky walk and the goofy look on his face. She looked over in his direction and sure enough, there was Quinn. Her hand was attached to his. The sight made Rachel shudder. This was going to be difficult, but it had to be done.

As the pair walked past Rachel into the choir room, she reached out and lightly grabbed Quinn's arm.

"Hey Quinn, can I talk to you for a second?"

By this point, Finn's hand became detached from Quinn's and he kept walking, stopping only to see why she had stopped until he saw Rachel. That was his cue to keep going. Rachel had Quinn somewhat cornered, leaning her hand against the door and blocking the entrance. However, the other girl seemed very reluctant to talk.

"What?" she replied curtly.

Rachel hadn't really practiced what she was going to say.

"Um…" She looked down, suddenly remembering who she was speaking to. She looked up to try to find Quinn's eyes. The blonde towered over her in her gun metal gray heels.

"I don't really have time for this, Rachel." She tried to move past the shorter girl, but was blocked once again.

"I just wanted to let you know that…it's okay. I'm not going to tell anyone. And if you want to talk, I'm here."

Quinn still wouldn't look at her.

"Are we done?"

Rachel had to use every ounce of strength she had to not touch Quinn's hand at this moment.

"I just want to make sure you know that you don't have to be afraid."

"Afraid of what?" Quinn didn't even let Rachel answer. She pushed past her and took a seat next to Finn.

That did not go the way Rachel had hoped. Embarrassed, confused and dejected, she took her seat and did her best not to cast the slightest glance over to her left. She didn't want Quinn to see the mortified look on her face. Apparently McKinley's most famous student really was a phenomenal actress. She almost had Rachel convinced that last night was nothing more than a meaningless fluke. Almost.

Something had to be done. She had to get through to Quinn somehow. She had to somehow let her know that she could be trusted and no matter the outcome, everything would be okay. The second Mr. Schuester stepped into the room, Rachel jumped up.

"Mr. Schue, I'd like to sing first if that's okay."

Mr. Schuester looked rather dumbfounded. "Wow, Rachel. I haven't seen that kind of enthusiasm from you in a while. I'd love to hear what you've got."

Rachel marched over and took her place in front of the glee club. Standing there with every ounce of conviction she could muster, she took a deep breath and prepared for the performance of a lifetime.

"This is a song I heard recently. I wanted to see if it sounds as good in here as it does when I sing it in the shower," she revealed coyly. "And maybe it'll inspire some of you."

Sure, it was transparent, but she didn't care. She was going to make Quinn Fabray listen to her even if it had to be through song. The music started and Rachel swayed along with the beat. As terrified as she was to do so, her eyes shifted over to Quinn, willing her to look back at her.

"You can be amazing  
You can turn a phrase into a weapon or a drug  
You can be the outcast  
Or be the backlash of somebody's lack of love  
Or you can start speaking up  
Nothing's gonna hurt you the way that words do  
And they settle beneath your skin  
Kept on the inside and no sunlight  
Sometimes a shadow wins  
But I wonder what would happen if you

Say what you wanna say  
And let the words fall out  
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say  
And let the words fall out  
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you  
I just wanna see you  
I just wanna see you  
I wanna see you be brave…"

Rachel kept her attention on the tall blonde in the second row. She could see the wheels turning in Quinn's head when she slowly realized the song was obviously about her. Rachel could pinpoint the exact moment of realization. Quinn nervously looked around the room and when she had run out of every other thing to look at, she finally locked eyes on the girl that was singing in front of her. Well, singing to her. Her face was completely unreadable, but Rachel couldn't worry about that at the moment. Perhaps she was coming on too strong, but she wanted to send a message. A message saying that everything would be okay. That she could trust her.

"Everybody's been there, everybody's been stared down  
By the enemy  
Fallen for the fear and done some disappearing  
Bow down to the mighty  
Don't run, stop holding your tongue  
Maybe there's a way out of the cage where you live  
Maybe one of these days you can let the light in  
Show me how big your brave is

Say what you wanna say  
And let the words fall out  
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

With what you want to say  
And let the words fall out  
Honestly I wanna see you be brave…"

Rachel felt everyone watching her, but there was only one reaction she cared about. And just in case that one person wasn't aware the song was about her, Rachel took a step closer to the slowly unraveling girl in front of her. She sang loud and hard and put her whole body into it to try to get Quinn to hear what she had to say. Her eyes were cold, yet so strangely hypnotic. Rachel couldn't look away. Not now.

"Innocence, your history of silence  
Won't do you any good  
Did you think it would?  
Let your words be anything but empty  
Why don't you tell them the truth?

Say what you wanna say  
And let the words fall out  
Honestly I wanna see you be brave…"

Once again, Quinn broke eye contact and Rachel died just a little bit inside. Every instinct in her wanted to pull Quinn up in front of everyone in hopes that she would sing along with her. But since she refused to look her yet again, she ran and pulled Brittany up with her. Brittany started harmonizing and dancing along with Rachel. Even though her new singing partner was beautifully helping her vocalize the song and having a great time dancing around, Rachel couldn't help but watch Quinn out of the corner of her eye, looking for any sign of movement from her.

"With what you want to say  
And let the words fall out  
Honestly I wanna see you be brave

I just wanna see you  
I just wanna see you  
I just wanna see you  
I wanna see you be brave.

I just wanna see you  
I just wanna see you  
I just wanna see you."

The song was over. The thunderous applause and cheers died down and Rachel took her seat while Brittany returned to her spot next to Santana. Meanwhile, Quinn didn't make a move. She applauded along with the rest, but there was nothing in her eyes saying that she remotely enjoyed the performance. Somehow, Rachel had a feeling she was about to experience the wrath of Quinn.

\--

Once glee club was over, Rachel got up and walked out without stopping to talk to anybody. The more time that passed, the more she realized that maybe singing that song wasn't the wisest decision. But she wanted to give Quinn a chance to respond, so once she was out in the hall, she walked a little slower, hoping Quinn would catch up to her.

She did.

There was a sharp pain in Rachel's right arm as Quinn's hand clamped tightly around it and pulled her into the nearest classroom. The pain subsided when Quinn let go and angrily closed the door behind them. They were in the art room. It was dimly lit and smelled of fresh paint.

Quinn turned to face her, incensed. "What the hell was that?"

Rachel's muscles tightened. She was backed against the wall with a very intimidating Quinn hovered over her. And this girl was out for blood.

"I…"

Quinn irately tightened her fists and moved in even closer to Rachel. She was seething.

"Do you have any idea how humiliating that was?"

Rachel looked anywhere but at Quinn. It was just too scary to see the pained expression on her face, knowing full well she's the one that caused it. Instead, she chose to focus on the girl's shoulder. It was shaking with rage and panic.

"I was just trying to help you."

"By singing me a fucking song?"

"No one knows it was directed at you."

"You were staring right at me the whole time, Rachel!"

Rachel had never seen this side of Quinn before. Granted, she'd only known her a couple weeks, but she had only ever experienced a more calm and collected version of her. This was almost…scary. Which led Rachel to believe that she had, in fact, crossed a dangerous line.

"We were always taught to pick a focal point for each performance. I guarantee you no one even noticed." She watched as Quinn's shoulder shook more violently than before. She wanted to reach out. She wanted to offer some kind of soothing gesture to help calm her down. Knowing that would probably make things worse, she kept her hands at her side and leaned further back into the wall.

Quinn backed up, her white knuckles becoming pink as she unclenched her fists.

"You can't just do that," she huffed. "You can't just decide you need to help me and put on the spot like that in front of everybody. That is not okay."

She turned, her back facing Rachel. Her shoulders were still shuddering and Rachel could sense that she was trying to compose herself. Coming forward just an inch off the wall, she regarded the girl in front of her. She looked fragile, like even the slightest breeze could knock her over. Rachel wanted to offer something. Anything.

"Look, what happened yesterday—"

"Nothing happened!" Quinn turned around and charged back at Rachel. "How many times to I have to get it through to you? Nothing happened." Her eyes said it all. They were trying to convince Rachel, trying to make her see that her statement needed to be true.

Rachel searched those eyes for any sign of taking those words back. It was useless, so she conceded.

"Okay. Nothing happened," Rachel nodded. "Must have been a dream, or something."

Quinn's entire body loosened up, relieved to hear Rachel's words.

"Okay."

The blonde didn't move. She kept still, lingering in front of Rachel. Only a few inches of space came between them. Rachel wanted to scream. She wanted her voice to fill up the empty art room with the words 'It did happen.' She just wanted Quinn to at least admit it, but the last thing she wanted was to make her feel uncomfortable. She was torn.

Fuck it.

"A really amazing dream."

It was a quiet remark. Barely above a whisper, but she knew that Quinn heard it. How could she not? They were only mere inches away from each other.

The blonde didn't move. She kept still, lingering in front of Rachel. Only a few inches of space came between them. Rachel studied the lines and curves of her neck, following it down to where it meets her shoulders. The skin was exposed, like it was just begging to be touched or perhaps even something more. The stillness settled between them. Rachel tried to slow her breath and her heartbeat at the same time. She didn't want to give herself away. Obviously something was happening to her. Her body was trembling. Her insides aching. This was something completely new. She had never felt this way before. Never had another human being been able to elicit such a visceral reaction from her. Not even the star quarterback of the high school football team.

After that statement, there really was no going back, so Rachel made a bold move. She gradually moved her hand and brushed the top of Quinn's hand with her index finger. The taller girl flinched and pulled her hand away, but leaned forward in the process.

"You really don't learn, do you?" she asked.

"Maybe you could teach me something," murmured Rachel. What the hell was that? Why did she say that? Was she flirting with Quinn? After everything Quinn had just said to her. Why was she being so stupid and stubborn when Quinn obviously wants no part of it?

Quinn leaned against the wall closer to Rachel and looked her up and down.

She leaned in and whispered, "What do you want, Rachel?"

Rachel could feel the other girl's breath hot on her neck. She didn't hear the question. She had forgotten what words even are. All she could do was stand there and wait and hope that her brain would find a way to work again. She swallowed thickly as Quinn leaned over to her other ear.

"You want me to kiss you again, don't you?" Quinn huskily whispered.

Rachel wanted to say, 'I thought it never happened,' but the words refused to escape her mouth. All she could do was nod.

Quinn's hand slowly made its way down from the wall to Rachel's waist. Her hand gripped Rachel's left side, just above her hip. Thank God, too, because the brunette felt as though she were going to fall over at any second. The extra support might just prevent an embarrassing fall. She's pretty sure her legs were nonexistent at the moment. Solid ground wasn't a thing at this moment in this art room with this girl holding her waist.

Quinn breathed through her nose as she leaned down and brought her lips closer to Rachel's. Rachel obliged when Quinn used her other hand to tilt her head up. She could feel Quinn's mouth barely grazing her lips.

Oh. God.

Rachel's entire core was on fire, anxiously awaiting what was about to happen. She closed her eyes and braced herself as Quinn spoke.

"It was a moment of weakness, Rachel. I was confused. You need to get over it. It never happened."

Suddenly, the presence Rachel had felt before her was gone. Quinn let go of her waist, pulled back and walked out the door, leaving Rachel a complete mess. She stood there against the wall, quivering. She felt naked. Alone. Humiliated. Either Quinn was right and it really was nothing, or she really was a hell of an actress.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> **The song featured in this chapter is "Brave" by Sara Bareilles


	5. Your Hands Can Heal, Your Hands Can Bruise

Of the many things that Quinn missed about Los Angeles, chauffeured rides were one of them. Not that she didn't like driving, but taking cover in the back of a tinted SUV had its perks. She didn't have to worry about driving in the LA traffic, getting a ticket, or the mundane task of filling up for gas. Lima, Ohio was very different. There was no traffic and the town was much smaller, but everything was spread so far apart, it took just as much time to get somewhere and it took up a lot of gas to get there. She hated filling up. It was such a tedious task, but here she was at the gas station at the corner of Harding and Willard. She barely made it – her gas light had been on for two days. She got out of the car and walked into the mini-mart as she moved her sunglasses from her face to rest on top of her head.

She walked over to the cold drinks and grabbed a Diet Dr. Pepper, then grabbed a pack of gum before heading over to the counter. She put the items on the counter along with a $100 bill.

"Sixty on number three please."

The young man behind the counter took the hundred, examined it and rang up the soda and gum without really taking his eyes off of her. Quinn could sense she was being watched, so she fiddled with the dollar pens on display next to her.

"You're that girl," said the man behind the counter.

"I'm sorry?" Oh lord, here we go.

"You're that girl. That actress." He leaned forward to the other side of the counter and grabbed a magazine from the rack. He pointed at the photo on the cover or InTouch Weekly. "This is you."

Quinn read the headline: Quinn Fabray In Hiding? Details Inside!

She stepped back, smiled as sweetly as she could and shrugged.

"Can you sign this for me?" he grabbed one of the dollar pens and handed it to her.

Quinn's natural instinct was to grab the pen and sign it, but before the pen touched the magazine cover, she thought for a second. Did she really want to put her signature on that? Yet another tabloid headline that suggested she was up to something unsavory? She dropped the pen and pushed the magazine aside.

"Um…I'd really just like to get my gas. I'm going to be late."

The man scoffed and gave her the changed.

"Bitch," he muttered as she walked out.

Quinn heard it, just like she heard many other things people would say about her under their breath. But she chose to ignore it. No sense in drawing more attention to herself. She filled up her tank and sped off, trying to get to school on time.

Her drive to school is her favorite time of day. She hated where it was taking her, but loved the drive. She had the top down, even though it was getting colder. She had the wind in her hair and the radio up. It was freeing. No one expected anything of her while she was driving, except perhaps a signal when she turned and stopping at a stop sign. This drive was the distance between her domineering parents and the constantly staring students who go out of their way not to speak to her.

As she reached a red light, her phone beeped. It was a text message from Finn. She hit ignore. Whatever he had to say, she wasn't interested at the moment. A few minutes later, there was another beep. This time, it was her publicist's number. She picked it up and read the text.

"Don't sweat the InTouch cover, hon. I'm taking care of it. Come back to us soon. XOXO."

She learned early how important it was to not read bad press about yourself. It'll mess with your head, but it was easier said than done. She tried to ignore it, but with every false story about her, she wanted to release a statement. Her publicist always advised her not to, because it would just fuel the fire. Once it started taking its toll, she decided to just let it go. People are going to say what they're going to say. She had even been linked to a slew of eligible Hollywood actors – half of which she had never even met and most of them were much older than her. At 17, she couldn't understand why people would think she'd date a 30-year-old. But, like her team of managers, agents and publicists always said: be worried when they're NOT talking about you.

She threw the phone on the passenger seat and pulled into the closest spot she could find in the school parking lot. Once at school, she made her way down the corridor. While others maneuvered their way through the crowd, Quinn seemed to have a path laid out in front of her as other students scurried to get out of the way. Like clockwork, she started getting several stares and quick glances from students walking her way or students hanging out at their lockers. It was nothing new. It just came with the territory, but it made it rather difficult for her to fit in. The whispers, the pointing, the sideways looks. It seemed none of them wanted to get to know her. They already had her pegged as some stuck up celebrity.

She's learned how to react to the stares, though. She's used to it. She learned when and how to smile - whether you show your teeth or give a simple grin - when to wave, when to dodge questions. She was a professional. So why was being surrounded by a bunch of ogling teenagers so fear-inducing? The paparazzi hid behind their cameras and flashes, but these students don't hide behind anything. They use their eyes, they look her up and down, they judge her every move. They strip her down and make her feel completely exposed.

That's why it's such a rare thing for Quinn to have her guard down.

The first two classes of the day were canceled due to the school assembly. The students started scampering off toward the gym. Quinn was one of the last to trickle in. She found a seat on the bleachers towards the middle and looked around for anyone she recognized. She needed a friendly face. Then, the brunette four rows ahead and ten people to the left looked over her shoulder. Quinn's heart jolted as their eyes met. It was brief, but enough to make Rachel look away immediately. Quinn lowered her head. Why? Why did Rachel Berry have to be in her eye line? The last thing she needed right now was a reminder of the other night.

The lights dimmed, the music started and a group of Cheerios ran out onto the court, performing death-defying flips and tumbles. The crowd cheered and the music grew louder. Quinn spotted Finn at the back of room with the rest of the football team. He caught her eye and waved. She gave a slight head nod in return. Once the fog machines started, Quinn began to feel dizzy. She noticed Finn walking in her direction.

"Hey!"

Quinn smiled. "Hi."

"Scoot over."

"Shouldn't you be with the team?" she tried to raise her voice above the music.

"I'd rather be here with you."

Quinn looked over at Rachel one more time. The brunette chose this exact moment to look back at her. And there goes her stomach.

She moved over and let Finn sit down next to her. Something felt off. The music, the screaming, the fog…it was all too overwhelming. She massaged her temples with her fingers and before Finn could say another word, she was up.

"I…I'll be right back." She walked down the bleachers two steps at a time – an impressive feat in heels - and ran out of the gym.

Once she was out the door and outside in the sun, she felt much better. She needed some peace and quiet. The dizziness stopped as she leaned against the wall and closed her eyes.

"Are you lost? I get lost here sometimes."

Quinn opened her eyes to find a wide-eyed Brittany approaching her.

"Not physically, no. Shouldn't you be performing?"

Brittany shrugged. "I went to the bathroom and forgot which bathroom I was in. So I couldn't remember how to get back." She planted one foot on the ground and raised her other leg as if she were preparing to do a pirouette. "Does that ever happen to you?"

Quinn shook her head. "No, not really." It seemed as though she and Brittany didn't have much in common, but she was thankful for someone to talk to.

Brittany was quiet for a moment as if searching for something to say. "Wanna see my routine?"

Quinn laughed. "Your cheer routine?"

"Yeah. I think I missed it in there. Someone should at least be able to see me do it."

"Sure."

Brittany proceeded to perform the entire Cheerio routine, complete with impressive dance moves, jumps and flips. Quinn found herself wondering if she could ever be that limber. Once the show was finished, Brittany took a bow and Quinn clapped.

"Very impressive."

"Thanks! Weren't you thinking about joining?"

"Thinking about it. I'm really not sure."

Brittany nodded and looked around to find the door on their right. "Well, I should probably go. Coach Sylvester will be mad if I'm not there for her to yell at me. See ya." She took a few steps and turned around. "By the way, I'm really glad you thwarted Logan's plan to seduce your sister."

"I'm sorry?"

"You know…on the show. When Jessica showed up in time to save her sister from getting her heart broken. I was relieved."

Quinn chuckled. "Yeah…me too."

\--

Coming home to her parents after a long day at school was proving to be a chore. She wasn't used to it. She would spend hours upon hours on set all day back in LA, blatantly disregarding the child labor laws. Her parents would be asleep by the time she got home and wouldn't really question where she had been. Now, she couldn't go two steps without being bombarded.

"How was school, Quinnie?"

Quinn stopped in her tracks. She found it comical that her parents suddenly started taking an interest in her personal life after years of not seeming to care.

"Fine."

She was still angry at her parents for moving her two thousand miles away and setting her down in the middle of nowhere to find her way. The longest conversation they've had in months was when they informed her of their decision to move. That was followed by a long and loud argument, slamming doors, the silent treatment, and now Quinn is only offering them one or two-word answers.

"Have you made any friends?"

She thought for a minute. Brittany seemed nice enough, but she's only ever had one conversation with her. And it wasn't exactly spellbinding. Then her thoughts landed on Rachel, as they always seemed to do lately. But she pushed those thoughts away as quickly as they came.

"Not really."

"Any cute boys?"

Her mom was relentless. Quinn closed her eyes and tried to compose herself.

"I'll be upstairs."

Quinn stormed upstairs and closed the room to her door. She hadn't exactly fully moved in yet. Boxes were strewn everywhere and she still lived out of her suitcase. She figured if she unpacked completely, then it was real. She was really a resident of Ohio and her LA life was officially over. Not that her celebrity life was all that perfect. There were pros and cons. She loved being an actress, but it came with a price. If she gained weight, she was automatically pregnant. If her eyes are closed in a photo, she's automatically drunk. If her parents suddenly force her to move to the Midwest, she's hiding something. Well, perhaps that last part wasn't all that incorrect, but still. They were preconceived notions of someone they know nothing about. In interviews, Quinn would only give away what she needed to. She was taught to always leave them wanting more. She did miss her privacy, though. Every flash of the photographer's camera peeled away another layer of privacy. She could feel each flash shine right through her skin, revealing parts of her she didn't want anyone to see.

She moved a few boxes aside, kicked off her shoes and lay down in her bed. She turned on the TV and flipped through the channels until she found something that would lighten her mood. She stopped at an episode of I Love Lucy and rested her head on the pillow. The show soon faded to background noise as Quinn fell into a much-needed slumber.

\--

Quinn was starting to get a routine down. It wasn't a routine she wanted, but she was stuck with it at least until she turned eighteen. She was starting to get used to school being a breeding ground for rumors and stares. It was no different than Hollywood, really. No one even tried to make it subtle. The only place she seemed to find any reprieve from it all was in glee club. Sure, a few of the glee members did whisper and she'd catch a few of them looking at her occasionally, but it still felt safe. Safer than any other place in the school, at least. She still hadn't warmed up to anyone quite yet. Finn was the only one overly eager to get to know her, but even then, there was something off-putting about the way he went about it. Plus, he wasn't exactly the most fascinating person on the planet. But he tried. She had to give him credit. Hanging out with him was never spectacular, but it sure beat feeling so alone.

Rachel seemed to be the only person who was halfway interesting. There was something about her the Quinn found captivating, but she couldn't quite figure out what it was. It was more than that puppy dog look on her face Rachel constantly had whenever she was within twenty feet of her. There was something so intriguing, yet so unnerving about Rachel. Quinn wasn't sure whether she wanted to know everything about her or just slap her for being so unnerving. She tried opening up to Rachel, but that turned into a disaster. She really had no idea why she even kissed her. Where was her head at? What was she thinking? And why was she so mean to her about it afterwards? Quinn had never really been one to hold herself accountable for her actions. Poor Rachel found that out the hard way.

All Quinn knew was that she wanted to let her in somehow, but wanted to protect her at the same time. There was a lot of bullshit in Quinn's world and she didn't want to bring someone as innocent as Rachel Berry into it. Besides, they barely knew each other. It was just in that one instant, Quinn felt safe…which ultimately led to confusion on her part.

She decided to try to make nice, even though every instinct inside of her wanted to run in the opposite direction. She had casually managed to get Finn to mention what car Rachel drove and the next day at school, waited for her in the parking lot after school. Glee club hadn't gotten out yet and the lot was nearly empty. Quinn thought about going, but she just wasn't feeling it today. Perhaps because she wanted to make things right with Rachel first. She leaned against the car and watched as a short brunette came walking towards her.

Quinn straightened up and took a deep breath.

"Hey."

Rachel opened her car door and threw her backpack into the back seat.

"Hi."

Quinn couldn't get a read on her voice from just that one syllable.

"How was glee?"

Rachel stood with the car door open.

"Fine."

"I wanted to go but..." Quinn couldn't think of a reason.

"You didn't miss much."

She was being careful, tentative. Quinn knew that. And really, she couldn't blame her. Not after the way she acted. It was time to bite the bullet. Time to own up. She took a few steps closer to Rachel, suddenly wishing she hadn't worn heels today. It was like she was about to placate a child.

"Look, I wanted to apologize. My behavior was…inexcusable."

Rachel looked down at her keys. "Which time? When you kissed me and ran away or when you tried to convince me you didn't kiss me…and then ran away?"

Quinn sighed. "Both. I don't know what happened. Things got…weird."

Rachel nodded. "Well…apology accepted. I'll see you later."

"Wait." Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist before she got into the car. "Can we talk for a second?" She looked around. "In private?"

Rachel hesitated.

"Just for a minute," said Quinn.

Rachel unlocked the passenger door. "Get in."

Why was she nervous? There really was no reason. This was just a girl. Some girl from Ohio who, just a few weeks ago, was not even a blip on her radar. And now she's in the passenger seat of the girl's car, nervously tracing her finger along the dashboard.

"Nice car," offered Quinn.

"Right. Compared to yours."

Rachel was giving her nothing.

Both girls were looking straight forward, the windshield offering a much more interesting view than anything else. Rachel put her key in the ignition and left it hanging there without turning it. Quinn hadn't really prepared what to say. She was beginning to regret not thinking this through. Was there really nothing else to talk about? No little subject of small talk to exchange?

"I'm sorry. I just didn't know how to act around you." Quinn turned to see Rachel's profile. She waited for a response, but didn't get one. Rachel certainly wasn't making this easy on her. "I really enjoyed talking to you."

"Yeah, me too," replied Rachel, still staring straight ahead.

"You've been really nice to me. And I could definitely use a friend."

Rachel leaned her head back into the seat, but said nothing.

"So…what do you think? Can we be friends?" Quinn braced herself for the longest silence ever. Why was she so on edge about Rachel's response? She really had no idea.

The brunette responded by shaking her head. "I don't know."

Quinn swallowed hard. That was not the response she expected. "You don't know?"

She could feel her face getting hot. Very slowly, with every passing second of Rachel's silence, Quinn could feel her wall gradually build back up. Brick by brick, Rachel's indifference was cementing it.

"I don't know."

Rachel was being cautious. Overly cautious. And it was starting to piss Quinn off. Here she was, offering civility between them, trying to start over and she was being rebuffed. That's twice Rachel managed to make Quinn drop her guard. Well, never again. Quinn Fabray would not stand for that. She could feel her embarrassment quickly turning to anger.

"Fine." Quinn folded her arms and faced away from Rachel, like a two-year-old throwing a tantrum. "You don't want to be friends, then we won't be friends."

"I didn't say that," countered Rachel.

"You didn't have to!" She was yelling now. It was getting increasingly difficult controlling the tone of her voice.

"You're just…you're very intimidating, okay?" Rachel finally looked in Quinn's direction.

By this point, Quinn was livid. "Intimidating? It's my fame that's intimidating, not me. You know what? Forget it." Rachel's statement hurt her more than she liked. What else could she do but hurt Rachel just the same? The words escaped her lips before she had a chance to think it through. "By the way, Finn told me what happened between you two."

Rachel's head snapped in her direction. "What?"

There was a tinge of pain in her voice. Not only was the knife deep into Rachel's gut, Quinn was going to do her best to twist it, just to get a little extra pain out of her.

"Yeah. He told me that you two dated and you couldn't seal the deal with him. You freaked out and had a panic attack when you were in bed and couldn't even have sex with him. So you ran away. That might just be the saddest story I've ever heard."

Rachel's hands gripped the steering wheel. Her knuckles were turning whiter with each word that escaped Quinn's mouth.

Quinn didn't even know why she was even saying these things. She couldn't seem to stop herself. Sure, she had a cruel streak. It was a result of having to build thick skin from critics and naysayers, but this…this may have been the cruelest she's ever been. But she couldn't stop. It was almost like it was happening in slow motion. Inside, she was screaming "stop!" but her mouth wasn't listening.

"What's it like to be the school prude? It can't be that much fun, I'd imagine." Shut up, Quinn. Just shut up. What are you saying? Look at her. She's practically shaking.

"Get out." Rachel's words were barely audible, but Quinn could hear them.

Immediately, the blonde felt immense guilt creeping up inside her. It was starting to dawn on her that maybe she pushed to far. The look on Rachel's face was like a punch to the gut. Her toxic tongue always seemed to get her into trouble. Her insides felt queasy. Did Rachel really deserve this? Simply because she wasn't sure if she wanted to be friends with the girl who messed with her head?

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I don't know why I-"

"Get out," said Rachel, a little louder.

Quinn turned to face the other girl. Rachel's shoulders were tense. Her head bowed forward and her breathing became more audible. She looked broken, completely wrecked. It was a difficult scene for Quinn to look at. She reached out her hand and touched Rachel's arm, trying her best to squeeze out the venom of her words. Quinn's impulsiveness had always been her downfall.

"I'm so sorry. I take it back, okay? I sometimes say stupid things I don't mean."

Rachel hit her steering wheel with such force, Quinn could swear the airbag was going to deploy.

"I said GET OUT!"

Rachel's pitch was a blood-curdling scream. It terrified Quinn. She didn't know what scared her more: Rachel's scream or the fact that she's the one who elicited that scream from her. Either way, she was too terrified to find out the answer and exited the car with her ears still ringing. Now it was her turn to watch Rachel peel away. Quinn put her head in her hands and started walking back to her car. That did not go according to plan.


	6. As It Is, I'll Dream of Her Tonight

Rachel's disastrous encounter with Quinn was enough to render her useless for the next few days. She would come home, try to eat whatever nutritious meal her dads would prepare, and then retire to her room for the night. She attempted to avoid Quinn at all costs. Glee club was becoming increasingly difficult since they were confined in the same room for an hour, but Rachel sat up straight and kept her eyes forward. She paid no mind to the blonde with the acid tongue who so indiscreetly latched on to Finn's arm whenever Rachel was in their presence.

By the weekend, she was thankful for a two-day break from the madness. She spent most of it in her room – half the time singing along with her Broadway collection and half the time reflecting on her most recent confrontation with Quinn. She couldn't remember a time when she had been so embarrassed and so hurt, but she also couldn't figure out how a girl she had known less than a month could manage to make her feel so fractured and confounded. The more Rachel thought about Quinn's spiteful words, the heavier her heart felt. By the end of the weekend, it felt as though her heart was actually starting to calcify. She's had two very deep conversations with Quinn and two very disturbing ones. She hated that the actress knew about what happened with Finn. Knowing how callous Quinn had been lately, Rachel wouldn't be surprised if it was all over school by tomorrow.

Rachel Berry: the prude. The geeky show choir girl with Broadway dreams had managed to land the high school quarterback, much to everyone's surprise. And what happened? She freaked out at the very thought of having sex with him. It seemed so natural before. The next step would be sex, right? They dated for six months, held hands, kissed and defied everyone's expectations. No one could believe he was dating her. She should consider herself to be lucky, shouldn't she? She had planned it out and prepared herself. She knew what he wanted and she knew it would be the only way to keep him interested in her. So she invited herself over to his place, wore the sexiest underwear she owned, and made it known to him that she was ready. Because in her head, she was. The whole time they were dating, she felt nothing. Why did she have such a huge crush on him if all she felt was nothing when they were together? Maybe sex was the missing link. It had to be, right? So she lay down on his bed and let him have her. But it wasn't right. Everything felt off. The way he awkwardly kissed her, the rough way his hands felt, the cramp she was getting in her leg, the way his stubble burned her skin. It was all wrong. Her body felt wrong. It was uncomfortable and not at all what she had imagined it was supposed to be like. But this was Finn Hudson. She was lucky to even be here, in his room, on his bed, underneath him. So she kept her mouth shut and let him continue. He had just come from working out, so he smelled of b.o. and Axe body spray. It made her nauseous. Tears began to form behind her eyes, but she refused to let any of them out. Her stomach began churning and as soon as they were both fully naked, Rachel sat up and told him she couldn't do it. She would never forget the dumbfounded look on his face, but she didn't want to stay to explain. It was a moment of panic. She just had to get out of there, so she grabbed her clothes and ran out. That was pretty much the last time she had really spoken to him.

The fact that Quinn knew about that story made Rachel feel extremely uneasy. Here it was, yet another Sunday night and Rachel was in bed, bracing for the impending doom tomorrow. Her head was in ruins. And she couldn't figure out why this was affecting her so much. There were obviously two very different sides to Quinn and the wretched side was by far outweighing the kind and sensitive side. Rachel knew one thing for certain: she hated Quinn Fabray. Hated her. Hated the way she made her feel and think and question herself. Hated the fact that she drove barely two miles away from the parking lot before pulling over and breaking down, sobbing in her car. Hated that Quinn had this way of making her feel like she meant absolutely nothing and absolutely everything to her at the same time.

Kids at school were never really that nice, but cruelty took on a whole new form when Quinn walked into her life. Rachel couldn't remember if there was ever a time she felt so down on herself, yet simultaneously so fired up. It was getting late and sleep was evading her. She lay on her back in her bed and tried closing her eyes to drown out her thoughts, but it didn't help. All she could picture was Quinn. Her hair, her eyes, her lips, her little half smile she occasionally let Rachel see. She was getting angry. After everything that girl had said to Rachel, how dare she infiltrate her thoughts like this? There was no escape. Rachel could even feel Quinn's presence in her room from that night they rehearsed. Flashes of the actress were now coming more frequently. Rachel's brain was on overload and Quinn was taking up about 90% of it. Anger, rage, bitterness, confusion…it was all too much for her to take. Somehow, a stray tear had made its way down her cheek. Where did that come from? Why was she crying? It was too much. It was all too much. Quinn was everywhere and was obviously not going away anytime soon. She needed some sort of reprieve.

Rachel's heart pounded deep in her chest. Her breaths were short and erratic. She listened closely to hear if her dads were still awake. Nothing stirred outside her door, so she closed her eyes again and slowly moved her hand to the waistband of her shorts. She hesitated just for a moment before moving her hand further down. The moment she made contact with herself, she jolted and pulled her hand away. She covered her face with her other hand and tried to recover from the mortification she felt. Her heart raced faster as she took a deep breath. Her eyes remained closed when her imagination took hold. A vision of Quinn appeared out of nowhere. Rachel pictured the blonde above her, looking down at her. She envisioned those eyes staring back at her as her hands began to explore her body. She could swear she felt her warmth and her soft skin as Rachel moved her hand up her shirt. Her breath hitched the moment her fingers grazed over her own hard nipple. She felt her chest heaving with every breath as she continued cupping and massaging her breasts, visualizing Quinn's hand instead of her own. Her other hand slowly moved south back inside her shorts. This hand had become Quinn's hand, as well. Rachel continued creating this scenario in her head. She imagined Quinn's lips on her neck and Quinn's hand as her fingers made contact and relieved the ache from within her center. She arched her head back and let out a moan. She was surprised at how wet she actually was. She didn't know that simply thinking about Quinn could do this to her. Her breathing grew heavier with each stroke of her fingers. She pictured Quinn's lips moving from her neck to her collarbone down to her abdomen, then back up to her chest. She grazed her nipple once more and a noise escaped her lips that she had never made before. It was a cross between a squeal and a bird chirping. By this point, she was too far gone to even be embarrassed about it.

She could hear Quinn's voice ringing in her ear. She relived all their conversations, picking out certain sentences from Quinn. It made her presence feel so much more real and pushed Rachel to caress herself with more intensity. She writhed on her bed, trying to muffle her groaning.

"Oh God," she whimpered to herself. "Oh my God."

She was panting. Her mouth was dry and her head was swimming. She thought of Quinn slowly moving her lips further down and it was too much for her. She turned her head and buried her face in the pillow as she climaxed. Quinn slipped further and further away the more intense the orgasm got. Soon, she was gone completely as Rachel rode out the rest of the orgasm. The pillow muted her moans as her body slowly stopped quivering. She gulped. Feeling light headed, she leaned her head back to catch her breath. After taking a swig of water, she tried to bring back the vision of Quinn, but couldn't. It was gone. She felt nothing. No rage, no sadness.

'Well,' she thought, 'That did it.'

She was asleep within minutes.

\--

The choir room. What was once Rachel's sanctuary was now essentially a battlefield. Her brain was battling her heart. Her anger was battling with her concern for Quinn. Her voice was battling with her stubbornness. She wanted to call out Quinn on what happened. She wanted to yell at her, embarrass her. She wanted to scream at Finn for revealing such a personal detail from their past. But she sat there quietly. It was best to not engage. She didn't want to risk experiencing the wrath of Quinn yet again. But conflict outweighed reason the moment the blonde walked in. Rachel suddenly remembered what she had done last night and how that face was burned on her brain. All of a sudden, she pictured herself back in her bed imagining Quinn hovering above her and her face immediately turned bright red. She felt flush and hoped no one would notice.

"What's with the just-fucked look, Berry? Don't tell me you actually got some action last night."

Leave it to Santana to notice.

"No…I…it's just hot in here," protested Rachel.

Santana took a seat next to her. "Right. That sounds legit."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I really don't have to explain myself to you."

"But you went out of your way to do so, didn't you?" Santana teased.

"What do you want, Santana?" Rachel shifted uncomfortably when she realized that perhaps Santana had heard about what happened between her and Finn. She really wasn't ready to deal with this.

The Cheerio looked over at Quinn and Finn, who were whispering to each other.

"Just wondering when you're gonna get over him. He's not worth it, you know."

Rachel sighed in relief. Maybe Quinn was nice enough to not spread the story around.

"I'm over him."

"Then why do I keep catching you staring at him?"

Rachel hadn't realized just how much she had been looking over at those two. She thought she had been discreet, but obviously not. And she wasn't about to tell Santana that maybe it wasn't Finn she was looking at.

"Santana, please. It's fine. I'm fine."

"You haven't been fine for months, Rachel." She moved her chair closer. "Look, I know we don't really talk too much because I find you annoying as fuck and all, but it doesn't mean I'm not concerned."

Silence was best right now for Rachel.

"See? The old Rachel would have had some lame, yet smarmy comeback. You're giving me nothing." Santana folded her arms and crossed her legs. "Look, you want me to tell Blondie McSlutty to back off of him?"

"No, don't!" Rachel snapped. "Santana, I swear to God if you-"

"Geez, okay. I won't." She unfolded her arms and leaned in to Rachel. "But it's nice to see a little spark from you again."

Rachel smiled to herself, being careful not to let Santana see it. She craned her neck over to look at Quinn one more time. If she only knew what had transpired in Rachel's mind last night. She smirked thinking about it just as Quinn glanced over. Their eyes were transfixed on each other. Rachel was watching like she had a secret; as if she knew something Quinn didn't. For a moment, she finally felt like she had the upper hand. Her eyes smoldered as they tried to pick apart Quinn's expression. She watched as Quinn flinched and broke away from the gaze. She placed her hand on top of Finn's and quickly glimpsed back. Rachel held her ground and refused to look away. Quinn was dangling Finn in front of her, trying to get a rise out of her. But she was calm. At least until Finn put his hand on Quinn's thigh. That broke her concentration and snapped Rachel out of it. There was the rage again. There was the fire. She was livid, but why? What had changed? Who cares if Finn was touching her? She looked at the clock. Only fifty-two minutes left of this bullshit. Every other day, glee club seemed to fly by. Today, it's like time knew she wanted to get out of there.

\--

A couple days later, Rachel sat on the bleachers looking out over the football field. This is where she used to go when she longed for Finn – back when she thought she knew what she wanted. Now she just comes here to think and to be alone. Football practice was underway, but she wasn't watching. Occasionally, she did look over to watch the Cheerios practicing their flips and tumbles. They dispersed once Coach Sylvester dismissed them and Rachel made the mistake of catching Santana's eye on her way off the field. Instead of walking out the gate, she whispered something to Brittany and walked up the bleacher steps to sit next to Rachel.

"I thought your Finn-pining days were over, Berry."

"They are." Rachel thought if she spoke softly and stayed very still, Santana, like t-rex, would simply think she wasn't there.

But that Cheerio was a shrewd one.

"So what are you doing here? Because watching the Cheerios in their short skirts is kind of my thing. And I get to do it up close."

Rachel's uneasiness around Santana slowly started fading. She simply didn't have the energy to be so uptight around her.

"That's not what I'm doing. I came here to think."

"To think about Jockey the Slender Schlong?"

The fact that Santana knew way too much about Finn's genitalia actually made her giggle.

"Give it up, Santana. I'm not thinking about him." She gripped the bench with both hands, as if bracing for something. She wasn't sure what.

"But you are thinking about someone…" Santana put her feet up on the bench in front of them in a rather un-ladylike fashion.

"I just need to clear my head."

They sat in silence for a moment. Santana was focused on her shoes, trying to kick off the dirt from the field. Rachel was almost grateful to have someone there, even in silence. It was comforting. She nervously tapped her foot on the bleacher.

"So are you gonna tell me, or do I have to beat it out of you?" asked Santana, blatantly.

Rachel looked at her and scoffed. "Tell you what?"

"What's been going on with you? Who you're thinking about. Or what you're thinking about. And don't lie. I'm way too good at it, so I know what to look for."

Rachel lowered her head. Her body tensed up. "It's none of your business, Santana."

"Nothing ever is, but I make it my business anyway."

"Just go. Please."

Santana didn't move. It would take a lot more than a plea from Rachel Berry to get her to leave.

Rachel's stomach felt like a vice grip was relentlessly squeezing and turning it over and over. She began to shake out of pure nervousness.

"I'll work it out. It'll be fine." Her voice cracked and her poker face was non-existent. She cowered away from the other girl.

Santana scooted in closer, obviously noticing Rachel's physical change. "Okay, clearly something's wrong. What is it?"

Rachel could hear the concern in her voice, but was resolute in keeping this to herself.

"It's nothing. Just please go, okay?"

Santana shook her head. "No. Look, I know we've butted heads. A lot. And I know I've never been overtly warm to you, but that doesn't mean I don't care. Trolls are people, too."

Rachel chuckled. "You can't even be nice without being mean."

"Okay. You're right. I'm sorry." She put her hand on Rachel's shoulder. "If you tell me what's wrong, I guarantee you'll feel better. Sometimes just saying something out loud can free you of whatever's holding you down. Trust me, I know."

Rachel swallowed hard. She opened her mouth to say something, but then retreated. "I can't."

"You can."

Tears began to materialize behind Rachel's eyes and they slowly started trickling out.

"I don't know what to do," she mumbled weakly. She wiped a few tears away and sniffled. "It's Quinn."

The words were barely above a whisper.

"Quinn?" asked Santana. "What about her?"

Rachel's voice trembled. "You can't tell anyone, okay?"

"Okay. Tell them what?"

Rachel took a deep breath. "Quinn kissed me."

There. The band-aid had been ripped off. It stung, but only briefly. Rachel was met with silence. The shocked look on Santana's face said it all.

"So, I've managed to silence the epic mouth of Santana Lopez. I'll have to remember this moment."

More silence as Santana's mouth remained open.

"Say something." Rachel couldn't bring herself to look at her.

"I…wow. So, Little Miss Hollywood has a thing for the ladies? How did I miss that?"

"Well, she said it was nothing. It didn't mean anything and basically wanted to pretend like it never happened." The metal from the bench was starting to leave a mark on her hands. She moved her hands and examined the lines left behind on her skin.

"Yeah, I've had those moments, too. That's what I said about me and Brit hooking up all last year. That it was 'nothing.' But it did happen. Denial is a tricky thing." offered Santana.

Rachel lowered her voice. She felt physically ill. She was terrified of the truth, terrified of saying it out loud. "That's not all." She leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees. "The thing is…I liked it."

"Wait, you enjoyed it?" Santana's tone wasn't accusatory, but more surprised.

Rachel slowly nodded.

"Jesus, my gaydar is completely off."

"I didn't say I was gay," protested Rachel.

"Okay, but a hot girl kissed you and you enjoyed it, right?"

Rachel sighed. "A famous actress kissed me and I probably just got caught up in the excitement. Besides, she said it didn't mean anything."

"That's bullshit, Berry. And you know it. You don't accidentally kiss someone."

"It did seem pretty intentional."

"So she kissed you. You liked it. Then she told you it never happened. And now you're confused?" Santana leaned back on the bleachers and stretched out her back.

"I guess."

Santana nodded. "Do you like her?"

The loaded question. She knew it would eventually be asked. She watched as the football players ended their practice and scanned the field for Finn. If Finn was there, maybe Quinn was close by, but she didn't see either of them.

"If I say yes, what does that mean?" She looked at Santana pleadingly.

"It means that you like Quinn. Simple as that. You don't have to explain anything else to yourself or anyone else right now. Just that you like her."

"But she's awful. She's mean and nasty has said some really hurtful things. So why do I even like her?"

Santana shrugged. "I honestly don't know. Seems like a bitch to me."

Rachel agreed with her but felt defensive at the same time. She sniffled once more and wiped away another tear.

Santana put her arm around her. "Hey, it's going to be okay. Let me ask you, do you feel better now that you've said it out loud?"

"Yeah…a little."

"It'll only get better from now. I promise. And don't worry, I won't tell anybody."

"Thank you." She rubbed her eyes, which were now red and splotchy. "So, what do I do?"

Santana removed her arm from Rachel's shoulder. "Well, you like her right?"

"Yeah. Sometimes. Other times, she's terrible."

"Well, why don't you try going for it?"

"I have things working against me. First of all, she's with Finn."

"Gross."

"Second, she's untouchable."

"Well, obviously not if she kissed you."

"You know what I mean. She's famous and glamorous and…painfully beautiful." Rachel blushed at that last part.

"Wow…you are really into her."

Rachel smiled coyly. "I don't know…maybe. Last night, I-" She caught herself before she said anything further.

"What?"

"Nothing."

"Berry, come on. Spill."

"I just…thought about her. A lot." She was bright red by this point and staring down at her shoes.

Santana didn't need to hear anymore. She grinned. "Wanky."

"Shut up."

"Wow, Berry. I didn't know you had it in you."

"Wanky."

Santana chuckled. "Touche."

They shared a much-needed laugh. The tension had been broken and Rachel was starting to feel more at ease.

Santana stood up and reached out her hand. "Come on."

"Where are we going?"

"You want Quinn Fabray? We're gonna get you Quinn Fabray. I have plan."

Rachel looked at her skeptically, but took her hand anyway and followed her down the bleachers.

\--

"So, what do you think?" asked Santana.

Rachel sat on Brittany's bed, petting Lord Tubbington. Santana excitedly stood over her, waiting for her reaction while Brittany spun around in her swivel chair – her blond ponytail whipping around with each spin.

"You can't be serious," replied Rachel.

"Why not? It's the perfect plan."

"No way. I'm not doing it."

"Why?" Santana looked over at the spinning Cheerio. "Brit, will you tell her it's an awesome idea and that I'm a genius for thinking of it?"

Brittany stopped spinning and looked back and forth between the two of them.

"I think you should do it."

"What? You're on board with this?" Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. She got up from the bed. "Look, Santana. I don't know why I agreed to let you tell Brittany. You swore you wouldn't tell anyone."

"You said I could. And I had to tell her if this plan was going to work. I can't just leave her in the dark about it. Besides, she won't tell anyone, will you, Brit?"

Brittany shook her head. "It's no one's business except yours…and Santana's….and now mine."

Rachel paced back and forth. "You really think this will work?"

"Berry, jealousy is at the heart of every living, breathing human being. If you want to find out if she feels the same way about you, you have to give her something to be jealous about. She's using Finn, so why shouldn't you use someone?"

"Yeah, but do you really think she would buy us being together? Besides, you're with Brittany."

"Yeah, but only like half the glee club knows she and I are together. Quinn most likely doesn't know." Santana reached her arms out to stop Rachel from pacing. "Look, I promise I'll be a gentleman. I won't get too handsy and we'll just do enough to let her think we're together."

Rachel looked over at Brittany. "And you're okay with this?"

Brittany smiled and nodded. "I think it's sweet. Santana's playing matchmaker. Besides, Santana said it wouldn't count as cheating because it was acting and she said she doesn't find hobbits attractive, anyway."

Rachel looked at Santana incredulously.

Santana sweetly smiled and shrugged. "It slipped. I'm sorry. You're not a hobbit."

Rachel couldn't believe what she was about to say, but she was also curious to see what Quinn's reaction would be to this whole plan. After everything Quinn had done to hurt her and make her feel like crap, it would be interesting to see if this had any affect on her.

"Okay. Fine. Let's do it."

"Excellent!" exclaimed Santana. "Now…we've got to do something about those shoes. I wouldn't be caught dead dating someone in those shoes."

Rachel scowled. This was going to be a challenge.


	7. What the Fuck Was I Thinking?

Rachel sat nervously at a little round table playing with her straw wrapper and sipping her iced mocha. She shouldn't be here. What on earth made her even agree to do this? She must have been outside of her mind. Her judgment seemed to have been rather questionable ever since Quinn Fabray walked into her life with her fashionable heels and devastatingly gorgeous legs. Unfortunately, she also brought her vicious words and Hollywood attitude with her. Rachel took another sip of her coffee. Caffeine probably wasn't the best choice at this moment. It felt like every organ inside of her was galloping around in every direction. She tapped her fingernails on the table as her right knee violently shook. Every five seconds, she glanced over at the front door expecting to see a perfectly coifed mop of blonde hair walking in. And every time, the disappointment grew within her.

Yesterday, Quinn had left a note in Rachel's locker to meet her at The Lima Bean at 3pm. Rachel didn't want to go, but made the mistake of telling Santana about the note. The Cheerio said it was the perfect opportunity. Perfect opportunity for what? Rachel didn't know, but Santana was convinced that this would be the day they would execute their plan.

Rachel searched the café, observing its occupants. Santana said she'd be here at 2:30, but she was nowhere to be found. Then, Rachel saw her. She couldn't believe she had missed it earlier, but there was Santana sitting in the corner wearing a trench coat and sunglasses pretending to be completely engrossed in a book, while simultaneously scanning the room with her eyes. They fell upon Rachel. She lowered her sunglasses and placed her index finger on the side of her nose.

Rachel tilted her head and furrowed her brow. Real inconspicuous, Lopez.

The trench coat was short enough to show off her legs and she only had one button fastened, showing off her other assets that she was quite proud of.

Rachel shrugged at her as if asking Santana what the hell she was going. Instead of a physical response, Rachel received a text from her.

Jessica Shay, 10 o'clock.

Rachel looked to her left, but didn't see anything. Her phone went off again.

No, my ten o'clock.

Rachel looked straight ahead, but still didn't see Quinn. Another buzz from her phone.

Christ, Berry. Look to your right.

Rachel looked over to her right toward the back entrance of the shop. There was Quinn – wearing a sundress and a sweater in high-heeled boots. Besides the boots, she's still not dressed for the weather in Ohio and Rachel couldn't stop herself from grinning about that. She adjusted her facial expression immediately. She wasn't about to let Quinn control her emotions. As much as she didn't want to take her eyes off of the blonde, Rachel quickly glanced over at Santana to see what she was doing. The book had been moved fully in front of her face, trying to avoid any recognition from Quinn.

There was a physical change within Rachel the moment Quinn came within a foot of her. She found herself straining her neck while look at up at her. She was glorious and Rachel had to stifle a whimper. She kept herself composed and was determined to make Quinn talk first.

Neither of them made a move. It had been two minutes of Quinn towering over Rachel until she finally sat down across from Rachel at the table.

Rachel's phone buzzed once more and both of them jumped at the sound. She moved her phone under the table to read the text.

Operation Green-Eyed Monster has commenced.

Rachel couldn't believe how much Santana was getting into this. She was about to put her phone away when it buzzed once more.

The package will soon be delivered.

Rachel did her best not to give away Santana's position by looking at her. She looked up at Quinn instead, who still made no effort to say a word. Rachel looked back down and began texting.

What package? What the hell are you talking about? Does everything have to be in code?

Santana's texts were the only thing keeping her from going insane from the silence. Another buzz.

Affirmative.

Rachel rolled her eyes and tucked her phone away in her purse. She was way too tense to deal with this right now. Her eyes peered across the table once more. Quinn's head was down, revealing to Rachel just how insanely long her eye lashes were. Was there anything about this girl that wasn't perfect? Oh yeah…her personality. Rachel defiantly took another sip of her coffee while waiting for Quinn to say something. She was nervous as hell, but wasn't about to show it. Her stomach was in knots by this point. Why wasn't Quinn saying anything?

The silence was broken when Quinn cleared her throat. Her eyes finally met Rachel's.

"Thank you for meeting me."

Her voice didn't even falter. Rachel was hoping for the slightest crack, but there was nothing but confidence. Damn actresses.

Rachel shrugged. She'd be damned if she responded to five simple words. You're going to have to do better than that, Miss Fabray.

"I wanted to apologize."

That was more like it. Rachel put her drink down.

"Again?"

An audible sigh escaped from the blonde's lips. "Yes. Again." She placed her elbows on the table and leaned forward. "I was an asshole. An epic asshole and you didn't deserve that. I'm sorry."

Before Rachel could respond, a leggy blonde came sashaying over to their table and placed a fresh iced mocha on the table in front of Rachel.

"Brittany?" Rachel knew this was part of the plan, but she did her best to act surprised.

"It's from Santana," explained Brittany. "She says to tell you she's sorry she's running late, but she'll be here soon."

Rachel nodded. "Well, thank you."

Quinn looked confused. "Wait, you're meeting Santana here? What, did you think you needed some muscle just to meet with me?"

Rachel remained steadfast. There was no going back now. "No. Not really. We just wanted to meet for coffee." Nonchalant was the way she was playing this. It was her best defense.

"The same time you were meeting me?"

"She's always fashionably late. And I really didn't know how long this would take."

Her tone was rather cold and unfeeling. It was the performance of a lifetime. Quinn wasn't the only actress at this table.

"Okay. So…Brittany. Santana just called you and had you come here to bring Rachel coffee?"

Brittany shrugged. "I was in the area. See you guys later!"

She was gone as quickly as she appeared.

Quinn turned back to Rachel, still confused. "That was weird."

"Was it? Brittany's always kind of been an enigma of sorts."

They were stuck once again in silence. Their eyes lock on each other. Rachel brought her hands under the table. She didn't want Quinn to see her nervously wringing them. She refused to show her cards. Santana's words kept ringing in her head. 'Keep the upper hand.'

"Okay, let's try this again." Quinn conceded yet again.

Rachel crossed her legs in anticipation of what she was about to hear.

"I'm sorry."

"You said that already." It was harsh, but Quinn's cutting words were still ringing in Rachel's head.

"I know. I just want to make sure you know that." Quinn brought her hands together and folded them in front of her, almost as if pleading for Rachel's forgiveness. "I think that…I think I'd really like to start over again with you."

"We haven't really started anything. We've had like, what, five conversations?" Rachel uncrossed her legs. Why couldn't she just sit still? Her concentration was waning at the mere thought of the actress sitting across from her. Perhaps if she wasn't Quinn Fabray. If she was just another person. Another asshole who threw a slushie in her face and said really cruel things to her. It would make hating her so much easier.

Quinn squirmed. "True, but I've said more to you since I've been in Ohio than I've said to anyone else here. Doesn't that count for something?"

"What about Finn?"

Quinn inhaled deeply, her breath wavering. "I'm offering my friendship, Rachel. I think we could be good friends."

"The Plain Jane and the movie star: best friends? Is this some cruel prank?" Rachel didn't want to say it, but it had to be said. She still didn't trust Quinn. And part of her was beyond disappointed at the term 'friendship' but that was an entirely different story.

"It's not like that, Rachel. I swear-"

Before Quinn could utter another word, they felt a presence next to them. They both looked over so see a young girl standing next to Quinn.

"Hi," the young girl said with a smile.

"Hello there." Quinn's tone was very friendly.

"Um…can I have your autograph?" The girl had more composure than Rachel had in Quinn's presence. The brunette found herself feeling oddly embarrassed about that.

Quinn smiled sweetly. "Sure." She grabbed the pen and the napkin the girl was holding. "What's your name?"

"Robyn."

"Robyn…with a 'y' or an 'I'?"

"A 'y'." The girl giggled.

"That's a very pretty name." Quinn was obviously a natural with her fans.

"Thank you. I'm a really big fan. I can't wait for your next movie!" The girl took the napkin and pen back from Quinn and read what Quinn wrote. She smiled and ran back over to her mother.

A straight-faced Rachel almost cracked after seeing that display. How fucking adorable was that? It was a nice change to see Quinn act so sweet and civil to someone, especially a complete stranger. But it only led to more confusion. If this girl caught Quinn on an off day, would she have been on the receiving end of Quinn's wrath? Or was that only specifically reserved for Rachel?

She took this moment to look over to where Santana was sitting, but she was no longer there. She disappeared. Where the hell did she go? Rachel looked around, but there was no sign of her.

Oh crap.

"Anyway," Quinn tried to get Rachel's attention once more. "As I was saying-"

"Sorry, I'm late, babe. I swear it's not my fault." Santana seemed to appear out of nowhere. Rachel looked up at her. She had ditched the trench coat and sunglasses and was very overdressed in a sleek, satin red dress. Rachel found herself almost gaping at the sight. It was hard not to. Santana leaned down and kissed Rachel's cheek – a gesture she was not expecting. Rachel jumped at the contact. Santana grabbed a chair and took a seat next to Rachel. "Oh good, you got my apology coffee. Remind me to thank Brit for that favor."

Santana proceeded to put her arm around Rachel. She was really laying it on thick. Say what you want about Santana Lopez, but she never did anything half-assed. She was balls to the wall 24/7.

This is not what they discussed and Rachel's shoulder tensed up at Santana's touch, but the look on Quinn's face made it all worth it. Her incredulous and perplexed expression encouraged Rachel to lean in closer to Santana. Maybe Santana was right all along. Maybe this was the perfect opportunity to gauge Quinn's reaction.

Santana smiled at Rachel and looked over at Quinn. "Oh hey. Sorry, I didn't know this would be a threesome."

Quinn stood up. "Actually, I was just leaving."

Rachel could swear she heard Quinn's voice break. Her eyes were facing downward, unable to look at the two of them. She was about to object to her leaving, but Santana nudged her and shook her head 'no.' Rachel bit her lip and watched as Quinn left, looking like she had been defeated. The moment she was out the door, Santana removed her arm from Rachel's shoulder and grabbed the ice mocha from the table.

"You gonna drink this?"

Rachel shook her head, still focusing on the door. The blonde was completely out of sight by now.

Santana leaned back in her chair. "Well, I think that went perfectly, don't you?"

\--

Later that week, Rachel strolled down the hallway toward the auditorium where the glee club was meeting. She was dead set on making into the theater without Santana staking a fake claim on her. She picked up her pace, but before she made it to the door, a tall blonde cut her off.

"Oh," Rachel stopped abruptly. "Sorry, I didn't see you." That was a lie. She spotted her long before that, but damned if she was going to admit it.

Quinn took a step forward. Rachel stood her ground, but she suddenly believed her legs no longer existed. Apparently she was floating. Yet she couldn't seem to float up to Quinn's height. The blonde's heels made extra sure of that. It never quite sat well with Rachel that Quinn always towered over her. She felt like a child. Almost…hobbit-like. Damn it, Santana.

Rachel steadied her breath and prepared for another epic stare-down with the taller girl. Neither girl looked away.

"Thanks for meeting me the other day."

Rachel could feel Quinn's breath on her face. Why was she so close?

"No problem."

Quinn cocked her head to the side. "Did you have time to think about my proposition?"

Proposition? Did Rachel somehow miss Quinn propositioning her?

"Wh…what do you mean?" Keep it cool, Rachel. Do not waver.

"You know…friends?" Quinn practically whispered it as she leaned in closer.

Do friends normally talk this close? Rachel swallowed hard.

"Oh…that."

Quinn reached her hand out to touch Rachel's, but then retreated when a few students ran by. Quinn's breath quickened.

"Yeah…that. Look, I know that maybe I don't deserve it-"

"Maybe?"

"Okay, I was a complete…what's the word?"

Rachel folded her arms and shifted her weight to her right foot. "I don't know. What's the female equivalent of a douche bag?"

Quinn tried to hide the sting of Rachel's words and nodded. "Okay. When we figure out what that is, that's what I'll be."

Rachel didn't respond.

"You're not making this easy for me."

"I know. Good." She peered around Quinn's shoulder. "We should probably go in." She maneuvered her way around Quinn, but the blonde grabbed her arm. Not in a forceful way, but more in a pleading way.

"Rachel, please."

The 'please' coming from Quinn's mouth clamped around Rachel's heart, prompting her to stop and turn around. Quinn's hand loosened from her arm, but not completely. Before Rachel could respond, Santana swooped in out of nowhere.

"Hey, hon." Santana came up from behind Rachel and put her arm around the shorter girl's waist. "I've been looking for you. I missed you." She placed a kiss on Rachel's cheek. Then another on the corner of her mouth.

Rachel stiffly and awkwardly pulled her face away. Her eyes bore into Santana's, silently asking her what the fuck she was doing. Santana was going off book and definitely breaking the rules. She was answered with a flirtatious wink. Great. That's helpful.

"Shall we?" asked Santana as she offered Rachel her arm.

"Um…actually, can you give me a minute? I'll be right there."

"Sure thing. But don't be too long." Santana gave Rachel a one-armed hug and followed it up with grabbing her ass.

Rachel squealed and jumped, then covered it by clearing her throat. That was not part of the deal. She looked over at Quinn, who was looking away. Maybe Santana knows what she's doing after all.

Santana finally acknowledged Quinn's presence. "Oh, hey Quinn. Sorry, I didn't see you."

"Apparently you're not the only one." Quinn couldn't bring herself to look at her.

Santana looked her up and down. "Wow, you are one tall drink of bitch, aren't you?"

She turned and walked into the auditorium, mouthing to Rachel as she left, "She wants you."

Once Santana was out of sight and out of earshot, the two girls faced each other again. Quinn nervously bit her lip.

"What was that?"

"That was Santana," replied Rachel, matter-of-factly.

"I know, but…I mean…are you two…together, or something?" Quinn emphasized 'together' almost as if she didn't want Rachel to answer.

Rachel shrugged. Could she really keep up with this lie?

Quinn searched for words. "But I thought she and Brittany were a thing."

Rachel blinked. Apparently word does get around and Quinn does pay attention. How could Rachel answer this without making it a complete and blatant lie?

"I guess things change."

Quinn scoffed and shook her head. "So you're dating her? A cheerleader?"

Why did Rachel suddenly feel defensive? "And so what if I am? What does it matter?"

"She just seemed to be really into Brittany. At least, from what I could tell. Besides, I just don't really see you two together."

"Why? Because she's popular? And pretty?" Rachel was ready to charge past her into the auditorium, but opted to stay and hear what Quinn had to say.

"I'm just…confused. She's a girl. And a cheerleader. And…"

"Aren't you going to be a Cheerio?"

The blonde lowered her head. "No. I decided I don't want to do it. It's not really my thing." Quinn spoke with a sweet honesty and Rachel was finding hard to stay mad at her.

"Oh."

Rachel watched Quinn's downcast eyes search for something to say.

"So, you and…Santana?"

Rachel couldn't stand to see the utter confusion in Quinn's face. She didn't know how much more she could take.

"Can we talk about this later? I'm gonna go inside."

Quinn nodded silently as they headed into the auditorium.

\--

It seemed to be an ongoing thing with Quinn. Every time Rachel looked in her direction, she would immediately cozy up to Finn. Rachel was getting sick of it. By the week's end, it had happened multiple times. The fifth time it happened over the week, Rachel shook her head then cautiously reached for Santana's hand. With her hand hovering over Santana's, she looked over at Brittany, asking for permission. Brittany saw the look on her face and smiled and nodded.

And thus continued the Fabray/Berry dance. Quinn would lean on Finn's shoulder, Rachel would whisper something in Santana's ear. Quinn would cheer loudly after Finn sang, Rachel would focus solely on Santana's backside every time she danced. Quinn would allow Finn's hand on her thigh, Rachel would jump at how uncomfortably high Santana's hand would be on her leg. But she let her do it. Because Quinn was looking. Quinn was always looking.

Game. Set. Match. Advantage: Berry.

Once glee club had been dismissed on Friday, Rachel hung around and waited for the crowd to clear. Once she was alone, she walked up to the stage and faced out toward the seats. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath. It had been a while since she had this feeling. A feeling of passion. A feeling of peace. The room echoed as she exhaled. The acoustics were absolutely perfect in this place. She hadn't been alone here in a long time. Not since she used to put in extra hours practicing singing after school her sophomore year.

She turned and walked toward the piano in the middle of the stage. Her fingers pressed down on a couple of keys and the notes filled up the room. She played a few more notes of what sounded like the theme from Beauty and the Beast. It was a half-assed attempt, but at least all the notes were right. The lights were dim on the stage and she pretended the bright beam of a spotlight shone upon her. A smile crept upon her face as she finished the song, singing quietly along with each note.

As the song ended, Rachel heard someone applauding in the back row. It was too dark to see who it was, but Rachel knew. She knew in an instant. It was Quinn. The shadow stepped forward down the aisle and revealed herself.

"Beautiful."

Rachel leaned against the piano.

"Thanks. It was just messing around."

Quinn made her way up the stairs on the side of the stage. "I didn't know you play piano."

"I don't really. Just enough to help me practice singing. Do you play?"

Quinn's face was fully revealed in the dim light on stage as she leaned forward against the other side of the piano. She struck a few keys on the higher end of the piano.

"Sadly, no. I never tackled the piano. But I do play the guitar."

"Really?"

"Yeah, I had to learn it for a three-episode arc I did on Grey's Anatomy. It was years ago. I supposed to be a musical child prodigy who lost her arm in a boating accident."

"Oh wow. Sounds challenging." Rachel played along, pretending she hadn't seen those episodes, when in reality, she had.

"It was fun. One of my first acting gigs, actually. But I liked playing the guitar so much, I kept taking lessons. Another thing to add to my resume, I guess."

"You should play sometime." Rachel traced her fingers along the smooth mahogany of the piano, leaving behind a small smudge from the oils in her finger.

"Maybe. It's been a while since I've played in front of anyone." Quinn came around and sat down on the piano bench, finally allowing Rachel to be the one looking down at her. She folded her hands between her knees and rocked forward. "Listen Rachel, there's something I need you to know about me."

Rachel leaned forward in anticipation.

"I have a tendency to get defensive about certain things. And then I kick into full bitch mode if I feel like I'm losing the slightest bit of control."

Rachel nodded. "Okay."

"And I'm sorry that you had to witness that on multiple occasions."

There was a lump building in Rachel's throat. She swallowed it back down. There was no way she was going to show weakness in this moment.

"Okay, then," replied Rachel.

"Okay then…what?"

"Okay. We can be friends. We'll try it. See how it goes," Rachel sat down next to her.

Quinn exhaled deeply. "Okay. Good to know." She was trying to hide her smile, but failing pretty badly. "So, now that we're friends, does that mean we get to talk about 'friend' things?"

"Oh man. Should I be afraid?" asked Rachel, jokingly.

"I'll be kind. Don't worry." Quinn nudged her, playfully. "I just wanted to ask…I mean, I didn't know you were…"

"I didn't know I was either. Honestly, I still don't know. It's just….a thing. That's happening. Plus, Santana's pretty persistent. I guess I just don't like to put a label on things."

Quinn nodded. "So, you really like her?"

"She's very sweet."

"That's not what I've heard. Or experienced."

"You have to get to know her. She's one of those 'hard exterior' people. I'm sure you can relate." Rachel crossed her legs and rubbed her exposed knee with her hand. She needed something to channel her nervous energy. Why did she wear a skirt? Her legs were freezing. Perhaps Quinn's lack of winter wardrobe knowledge was rubbing off on her. Rubbing off. Oh God, now she was having a flashback of that night in her bed. For the love of God, Quinn, say something!

"And Brittany doesn't mind that you two are…seeing each other?"

Rachel shrugged. She didn't know how much longer she could go one with this. Lying wasn't her strong suit. Especially lying to someone who had just been so honest with her. She opened her mouth to say something, but forgot the words that formed in her head. The moment she caught Quinn's gaze, she seemed to have forgotten every word that ever existed. Except "lips." Lips was a word she knew very well. And it was Quinn lips that she wanted to know even better. But, no. Friends. They were friends now. And friends don't do that. Do they? No. No, they don't. Besides, as far as Quinn knew, she's "with" Santana.

"So, how are you?" It was a simple question. Perhaps kind of stupid, even. But it was legit. Rachel really wanted to know how she was.

Quinn smirked. "It's been a while since somebody's asked me that. I'm okay. I'm…still getting used to Ohio. Sort of."

It was in this moment, Quinn's cell phone went off, startling them both. They laughed simultaneously as Quinn checked her phone.

"It's my agent." She hit ignore. "There's been a lot of pressure from my PR team to come back."

"Your parents still aren't having it?"

"They don't seem to want to budge."

"I'm sorry. That must be pretty frustrating." Rachel knew a little bit about frustration. Especially these days. She stood up and smoothed out her skirt. "We should probably get going." She reached her hand out to Quinn to help her up.

Quinn took her hand. There was a pause before she stood up. A brief moment of palpitating heartbeats between the two of them. Rachel felt it immediately. She wasn't exactly sure what it was, but it passed too quickly for her to figure it out. Quinn was up and at her side in no time as they headed out the door.

\--

The entire weekend that followed, Rachel was plagued with feelings of guilt. She didn't know why. She thought Quinn had it coming to her after the way she treated her, but something just wasn't sitting right with Rachel. Normally, she wasn't afraid to fight fire with fire but maybe lying to Quinn wasn't the best way to solve this mess. They had established a friendship. Why tempt karma by packing on more and more lies?

By early Monday morning, she was way too keyed up to sleep. It was 4am and her patience for the sun to come up was wearing thin. So she got out of bed, grabbed her phone and started pacing around the room as she dialed.

She heard some muffled groaning and could have sworn she heard a couple of obscenities mumbled.

She listened as a grumpy voice on the other end clear her throat. "Someone better either be horny, dying, or need help moving a body because no one in their right mind would call me at this hour."

"Not even your girlfriend?" prodded Rachel.

"My girlfriend is in bed next to me. What do you want, Berry?"

Rachel continued her pacing. "I called to tell you that I'm out."

There was a brief pause.

"...of the closet?"

"No. Wake up, Santana."

"It's too early," she yawned.

"I'm saying I'm out. I'm done with this plan." Rachel nervously ran her fingers through her hair.

Another pause. She could hear Santana's sheets rustling as whispers were being exchanged.

"You can't back out now." Santana's voice was now echoing. Rachel would only assume she went into the bathroom so as not to disturb Brittany.

"I can't do this anymore. It's ridiculous. It was a stupid plan."

"Hey," Santana's voice boomed. "Do not knock the plan. It was genius and you know it. Besides, we've got her right where we want her. She's playing into our hands perfectly."

"This isn't a game, Santana!" Rachel's anger was starting to take hold, most likely because of the insurmountable amount of guilt that had been building up inside her.

"Geez. Calm down."

"I'm not going to calm down! I can't lie to her!" Rachel tried to keep her voice down so as not to disturb her dads.

"But she can treat you like shit?"

It was a fair question.

"She apologized for that. A lot."

"Face it, she's a bitch. And she deserves to be messed with a little bit."

"Santana, if you say one more mean thing about her, I swear to God I will come over, pull you out of your house by your perfectly styled ponytail, tie you to a chair on your front porch and make you listen to me sing the entire Evita soundtrack."

"Whoa! Calm your tits, Berry. Okay, I'm sorry. I'll stop. But before you give up on this, can I just say one thing?"

"What?"

"Look at what Quinn does to you."

Rachel stopped her pacing and switched the phone to her other ear. "What do you mean?"

"That was an impressive mix of insanity and passion. I'm impressed. See what she does to you? She brings that out of you. Do you really want to give something like that up when we're so close?"

Rachel sat down on her bed and took a few calming breaths. "You really think it's working?"

"I do," said the voice on the other end.

Rachel often found herself struggling between conflict and reason when it came to Quinn. It was almost getting to the point of being unbearable. There had to be an end in sight to this torture. Santana seemed to know what she was talking about. Rachel had never seen her be so intent on making something work like this. It was endearing. Though Santana would probably never admit it, she obviously cared about Rachel. At least in some capacity.

"Rachel, we can do this. It's just a little bit longer." Santana's voice was gentle and cajoling. "I'm going to ask you something and I need you to be honest with me. And with yourself. Do you want her?"

Rachel pondered the question. It echoed in her brain and weaved its way in and out of her head and through her entire body. Did she want Quinn Fabray? Did she even really know her? Did she want to know her? What would her answer mean? It wasn't exactly the easiest question to contemplate and she really didn't know if she wanted to admit the truth. Was she ready to deal with the ramifications?

She lay back on her bed and stretched out. Heaving a massive sigh, she answered Santana's question.

"Yes."

It was quick and quiet, but Santana heard it loud and clear.

"Then go get her."

"It's not that simple. She made it clear that she just wants to be friends. She doesn't want me."

"She does. She just doesn't know it."

Santana's words sent a surge through Rachel's body. Santana's did have a way of reading people. It was one of her many talents. Probably due to that psychic Mexican third eye she's always bragging about.

"Okay, but if we're going to keep this up, we need to make sure the ground rules stay in place. I don't know what possessed you to kiss me, but please control your carnal desires around me."

"Whoa whoa whoa. I did that as a favor to you, Berry. I gave Quinn what she needed to see. You think I actually liked kissing you? I had to go down on Brittany three times that night just to get the taste out of mouth."

Rachel winced. Did she really just say that? "I…th…that is entirely inappropriate. Does Brittany know you talk that way?"

"That's one of the reasons she loves me. Speaking of, I'm feeling cold and lonely and she's warm in my bed, so I'm gonna go. You should get some sleep, relax. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Thanks, Santana." Rachel heard a click before she even finished talking.

Rachel tossed her phone next to her and scooted back in her bed. Her thoughts immediately turned to Quinn and the conversation they had in the auditorium. She was getting really tired of Quinn Fabray infiltrating her thoughts. She decided not to fight it anymore. She was tired of fighting. She fell back to sleep thinking of those hazel-green eyes. Those goddamn, stupid, enigmatic, intoxicating hazel-green eyes. It was the last vision in Rachel's head before slumber took over her.


	8. I'm An Invisible Disaster

Quinn was pretty sure that her newly instated life of structure and monotony would eventually end up being the death of her. Every evening, she fell asleep to silence. Every morning, she woke up to birds chirping outside her window. It took all her strength not to throw one of her Jimmy Choos at them, if not for the fact that she was pretty sure she would be unable to procure another pair like that in Lima, Ohio. Not that she was an animal hater. She had donated to PETA in the past and tried the vegan lifestyle for six months when Natalie Portman had once revealed to her the importance of that kind of diet. However, one slip-up while eating bacon after a nasty hangover made her realize how much of a carnivore she really was. And that was the end of her vegan trend.

These birds, however, were the epitome of everything she hated about Lima. They were so predictable. Every morning at 6am, they would make their presence known. They were taunting her, teasing her, depriving her of sleep and reminding her every morning that she was still here and not where she needed to be. She hadn't been in front of a camera in five months. She hadn't read a new script four months. And she hadn't heard from her L.A. friends since she moved out here three months ago. It's a known fact that "out of sight, out of mind" is the only guaranteed truth in Hollywood and Quinn was going stir crazy thinking about that. She had her premiere for Ten Stories Down to look forward to and once it was released, it would buy her some time, but this was the first time in years she didn't have a project lined up. She and her team are hoping for a hit so she could sign on for the sequel. Right now, December 18th couldn't come fast enough. It was merely a few weeks away, but she couldn't wait to get back and see all her friends. She missed everyone. Even Janet, her shrew of an agent. She could hardly stand the woman. Nobody really could. She was a ball buster, but her persistence and bitchiness got the job done and Quinn was thankful for it.

She was starting to miss her co-stars from the show even more. It had been six months since her parents sat her down and told her they didn't want her returning to the show. Not after everything that had happened. They would not renew her contract and she would spend the summer finishing up filming her new movie and after that, they were moving to Ohio. It was not up for discussion. Quinn cried. She cried harder than she ever had and that last day on the Outside Hearts set was the most difficult day of her young life thus far. That show had been her life since she was thirteen. The world had watched Jessica Shay grow up before their eyes. It was a huge shock to people when she left. Fans had started a campaign to bring her back since the studio had cited "contract dispute" as the reason for her leaving. It wasn't true, but anything was better than the truth getting out. Quinn's parents never gave her an exact reason for pulling her from the show, but she knew that they knew. And discussion of it was obviously off limits.

Quinn was desperate. She had looked into emancipation and asked her agent to call a few lawyers and see what they could do. But her parents never mistreated her or mismanaged her funds. They had done everything by the book and there was no 'just cause' for her to file for emancipation. So Quinn had to say goodbye to the only life she had ever known. No more famous friends to go clubbing with. Now she spent her days at the Lima Bean or at the local bowling alley. No more tutors on the set. Now she had to settle into a real school. The only thing she knew about real schools, she had learned from either watching TV or from her experience as a high school student on the show. From what she knew, the best way to fit in was to be a cheerleader and date someone on the football team – preferably the captain. It seemed simple enough, but she came to find she had no interest in cheerleading. And the captain of the football team was starting to become a 180-pound thorn in her side. She couldn't go an hour without him texting or calling and, while he seemed nice enough, she really had to struggle to find herself attracted to him. He was a far cry from all the other guys she was linked to in the past, but he looked good on her arm. Maybe not as good as Zac Efron, but for Lima standards, it worked. She felt like a complete snob for thinking that, but it was true. If she was going to survive high school unscathed and get back to Hollywood for good once she turned eighteen, she had to lead as normal a life as possible.

Quinn got up, got ready for the day and headed downstairs. Her parents weren't exactly the domestic types, either, but they tried. Her dad was reading the newspaper in the living room and her mom was burning bacon and serving runny eggs for breakfast.

"Hungry, Quinnie?" Her mom held up the charred bacon with a spatula.

"Sure." Quinn had to give Judy an A for effort.

Judy served up three plates and set them all on the table.

"Russell, come eat breakfast."

Her dad grumbled from the living room. "I'm fine with my coffee."

Quinn picked up a fork and moved her eggs across the plate, trying to summon the courage to actually eat them.

"So Quinn, how's school?"

She cringed at the question. Just as Quinn had learned everything about high school from TV, she's pretty sure her mother learned everything about raising a teenage daughter from TV, as well. It was only one of maybe five questions her mother had asked since they moved here. She rotated them every day. Sometimes, she'd even use them all up in one day.

"It's fine. I'm enjoying glee club."

"Oh well, you have a lovely voice. I'm sure they're happy to have you."

Quinn couldn't help but think of Rachel at this moment. What was she doing right now? Was she eating breakfast? Still sleeping? Already on her way to school? She shook the thoughts of the brunette out of her head and tried to focus on the obligatory small talk between her and her mother.

"Yeah."

Judy was silent for a moment, watching her daughter play with her food like a five-year-old.

"Are you okay, sweetie?"

'No, I'm not okay. You moved me out in the middle of nowhere and I want to go home where I belong.' Quinn fought every urge to say this to her mother, but all she did was nod.

"Quinn, who's Rachel?"

She abruptly stopped pushing her eggs around and dropped her fork.

"Why?"

"Well, a girl named Rachel called last night. You know I don't like you giving out our number. It's not safe."

"I didn't! I mean…I…I think I meant to give her my cell phone number. Maybe I gave her the land line by mistake." It wasn't a mistake. Quinn had given her both. She had written them down on the note she left in Rachel's locker to meet her at the Lima Bean a couple weeks ago in hopes that she would use one of them. She tried to hide her smile from Judy.

"Well, she called your cell phone, too."

Quinn panicked realizing she had left her phone in the kitchen last night.

"You looked at my cell phone?" Turning things around on her mother was the only way she'd get out of the third degree.

"It was right there. And the buzzing was driving me crazy."

"That is my property! You have no right to do that!" Quinn angrily stood up and grabbed her cell phone from the counter.

"Last I checked, I'm your mother and I can do pretty much what I want in respects to raising you." Judy kept her voice calm as she poured more coffee.

"You never looked through my phone before."

"Well, now things are different. I should have been monitoring it a long time ago." She stood up to face Quinn. "Now tell me, who's Rachel?"

Quinn glared at her mother. "She's in the glee club, okay? Why does it matter?"

"I'm just wondering why she keeps calling you. And it was pretty late at night."

Quinn couldn't believe what her mother was saying. A year ago, it didn't even matter if Quinn strolled in at 5am after a party at Brittany Snow's house. It didn't even seem to matter to her parents that she was a minor and was out drinking. They were too busy enjoying the fruits of her child labor to care. And now all of a sudden, they wanted to know about every single detail of her life. It was infuriating.

"She probably wanted to go over this week's glee assignment." Quinn honestly didn't know why she called, but suddenly, getting to school was the most important thing right now. She had to know. Before she could storm out, her mother threw another question her way.

"Well, what about that Finn boy? He called you, too. You should call him back and see what he wants."

Quinn looked down at her phone. Sure enough, there were two missed calls. One from Rachel and one from Finn.

"I'll see him at school." She grabbed her bag and took a few more steps toward the door.

"Also, your agent called."

That caught her attention and she turned around. "And?"

"They've decided to officially push the release back to May. They want to make it a summer movie."

Quinn's face fell. Her last hope of getting back to LA before the end of the year was severed.

"What about reshoots?"

"They don't need any. Press tour starts in April. Release is May 15th." Her mother said it so matter-of-factly, like she didn't know that each word was breaking Quinn's heart.

Defeated, she nodded and walked out the door.

\--

Quinn only saw Rachel once before glee. It was while she was walking to the cafeteria for lunch. She spotted Santana first and half-heartedly waved at her. After whispering something to Rachel in front of her locker, Santana then pulled her into the nearest janitor's closet and closed the door. It all happened within a span of ten seconds. Quinn stopped in the middle of the hallway after witnessing it. Her legs were no longer taking requests and she was stuck, unsure of where to go. Her hunger had subsided and a nauseating feeling had taken over. What exactly was going on with those two? It seemed like they didn't even really like each other and now suddenly they can't keep their hands off each other? And what did this mean for Rachel? Was she…gay? Had she actually enjoyed that kiss they shared together? Had Quinn inadvertently started something for Rachel Berry, sending her on a mission of exploration and debauchery with Santana?

It was too much for her to think about and the moment her legs started working again, she ran to the bathroom and hid in the corner stall, unseen by the rest of the world. It was pathetic, really. If her friends could see her now: Quinn Fabray, spending her lunch time hiding in the bathroom like some bullied band geek. Or were band geeks not bullied here? Maybe just actresses were.

\--

Glee was held in the auditorium again and it came and went in the natural fashion. She took her seat next to Finn, but made sure she was in Rachel's line of sight. As different people performed, she occasionally looked back to see Rachel and Santana playfully tease each other. Then, she watched Brittany and wondered how she felt about all this. Finn had told her it was the worst kept secret in Glee that Brittany and Santana were an item. Brittany seemed occupied with the strings on her hoodie, trying to untie the knot on the left one. She looked up at Quinn and smiled.

"I wonder whose job it is to tie these knots. Must be a former Girl Scout or something because they're really good. I've been working on this one for days."

Quinn smiled and Brittany blissfully went back to picking at the knotted string, ignoring the display going on behind her. Quinn wished she was able to turn a blind eye like Brittany did. And she wished she knew why seeing Rachel and Santana flirt like that bothered her so much. It didn't make any sense to her. They didn't make any sense. She viewed Rachel as the embodiment of innocence, but perhaps there was more to her than she thought.

Once Glee Club was over and everybody cleared out, Quinn stayed seated in the second row. She waved Finn off when he asked if she was coming and once the place was empty, she walked up to the stage, past the curtain and toward the left wing. It was relatively empty with the exception of a few boxes of supplies marked "Cheerios," some random chairs and a few music stands. She took a seat in one of the chairs, rested her elbows on her knees and lowered her head. It was dead silent. Normally, she couldn't handle sitting in silence for too long, but this was needed. Thoughts and images of Rachel swirled around in her head and she needed to expel them immediately. Meditation might just be the only way to cope.

That wasn't going to happen today, though. She heard very distinct footsteps coming up the stairs and onto the stage. Quinn lifted her head and saw Rachel peeking through the curtains.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"I thought you might be here." Rachel slowly stepped toward her. "Mind if I join you?"

Quinn stood up. "I was just leaving, actually."

"Oh." There was a hint of disappointment on Rachel's face.

"You called me last night?" Quinn needed to see the brunette's facial expression change.

"Yeah. I hope that's okay. I just wanted to say hi." Rachel took a few steps forward. "You know…a friendly phone call."

The emphasis was on the word "friendly" and it did not go unnoticed by Quinn.

"Sorry. I didn't hear my phone. And I went to bed pretty early." Quinn felt more trapped the closer Rachel came. There was an exit door to her left, but knowing her luck, it was probably locked.

"And here I thought you were ignoring me," joked Rachel.

Quinn smiled. "No, I wasn't ignoring you." That would be impossible, wouldn't it? Because no matter how hard she tried, Quinn could not get Rachel Berry out of her head.

"So…do you think you'll ever actually try a solo in Glee?" Rachel rested her hand on the back of one of the chairs, stopping herself from walking any closer to Quinn.

Quinn took it as a sign. She would have to cover the distance if she wanted to be any closer to her. One step at a time was the best she could do.

"I will eventually. I think I just need to find my groove." She took another step closer.

"You have an amazing voice. You know that," assured Rachel, her eyes peering out from her long, brunette locks.

Quinn bit her lip and took another step closer. The only thing separating them now was the chair Rachel was standing behind. For some reason, Quinn's breath wavered. Her stomach twisted and turned like she was on a rollercoaster. How was it possible that just breathing the same air as Rachel could have this effect on her? She reached her hand out, grabbed the chair and moved it out of their way. Now there was nothing between them but a few inches of air.

"I promise I'll answer my phone the next time you call."

Rachel looked up at her and nodded. She took a small step back and shyly stuck her hands into her pockets. Was this closeness making her uncomfortable? Quinn decided to test it by taking another step toward her. Rachel leaned back slightly and looked around at anything but Quinn.

"How are things with Santana?"

That grabbed her attention. Rachel looked back at Quinn at the sound of Santana's name. Quinn didn't really want to know the answer, but she wanted to keep the conversation going.

"Oh…she's good. Really good."

Rachel smiled on the 'really good' part, leaving Quinn to ultimately think of them hooking up. It wasn't a fun thought for her and she refused to delve into why it bothered her so much. She had resolved to keep Rachel as on-the-surface as possible. Yes, they were supposedly friends now, but the more she thought about her, the less she wanted to know about her personal life. Especially with Santana. The further she delved into anything, the further away from reality she felt. She was already in a strange place with strange people. Quinn hadn't really been herself in years. She had been too busy taking on the personality of each character she played to really allow herself to just be her and to think about what that meant. With Rachel, she felt like it was actually okay to be herself, and that terrified her. There was only one other person who made her feel that way and that ended in disaster.

Being in such close proximity to Rachel, Quinn suddenly felt claustrophobic. She took a few deep breaths and a couple steps back.

"Are you okay?" Rachel followed her.

"Yeah. I'm fine. I just need a minute." She felt like she was going to faint and sat down in one of the chairs.

Rachel rushed toward her to help her into the seat, but Quinn immediately stood back up, suddenly regaining her strength.

"I'm fine. Really."

"You're sure?" Rachel had a grip on Quinn's arm.

"Yeah." Her head still felt light, but her breathing was back to normal. "I should probably get home."

"Okay."

They turned to go, but neither of them saw the box of supplies in front of them. They both tripped and fell over the box, spilling the contents everywhere. Quinn rolled to her left and avoided hitting her head, but felt a sharp pain in her arm. She realized her arm had broken Rachel's fall. She slowly rolled back over and slightly hovered over Rachel. The brunette's eyes were closed as if waiting for some other kind of disaster to happen.

"Hey," Quinn giggled. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, just really, really embarrassed."

Quinn's arm was starting to feel the pressure of Rachel's weight, but she soldiered on without saying a word about it. With her other hand, she moved a few strands of hair out of Rachel's face.

"The worst is over. I promise. You can open your eyes now."

The moment Quinn was met with Rachel's brown eyes, her brain stopped working. She knew what she wanted to say next, but couldn't formulate a sentence. Her fingers traced Rachel's hair from her temple to behind her ear and kept repeating that motion as a way of soothing her. She could hear Rachel trying to catch her breath as her chest rose and fall with every pant. The adrenaline that shot through Quinn's body during the fall was now replaced by an entirely different euphoric feeling. She lingered just inches away from Rachel's face, searching for something. An invitation perhaps, to close her eyes and lean in even closer. Quinn licked her lips in anticipation, trying hard to hide her nervousness. Her eyes moved down and studied Rachel's lips, then moved back up to seek approval. But something felt off. Rachel's eyes were no longer focused on hers. They were looking past her, almost as if she wasn't even there. The weight on her arm had been lifted as Rachel rolled over and tried to get up as gracefully as possible.

Feeling deflated, Quinn lay there for a second, then got up and dusted off her jeans. The feeling in her arm was starting to come back, and all she could feel was pins and needles as she flexed and released her hand, trying to get the circulation back.

"Well, that was unexpected," joked Rachel.

Quinn smiled as best she could.

"Hopefully we didn't do too much damage-"

Before Rachel could even finish her sentence, one of the cardboard confetti cannons from the box exploded. The boom echoed through the entire theater and it blasted confetti everywhere. Both girls jumped at the sound and covered their ears. Quinn and Rachel stared at each other in disbelief as thousands of bits of colored tissue paper fell all around them, landing on their heads, shoulders and Quinn could swear she felt a few pieces go down her shirt. Rachel broke first. Her smirk turned into a full-fledged laughing fit. Once she saw Rachel laughing, Quinn couldn't help but laugh along. Soon, they were both doubled over. Quinn's stomach muscles began to cramp from the laughter, but she didn't care. It really was quite a hysterical situation. And definitely the ultimate tension breaker.

"We should get out of here before someone sees us," suggested Quinn.

"Yeah," agreed Rachel. "I do not want to experience the wrath of Sue when she finds out who did this."

They took off running and tried their luck at the exit door in the back of the theater. They ended up out by the south parking lot where Quinn parked her car. Quinn squinted her eyes trying to adjust to the light.

"Where are you parked?" she asked with her hand over her eyes.

"I'm on the other side."

They walked over toward Quinn's car. With two beeps, the car doors unlocked.

"Hop in. I'll give you a ride."

"That's okay. I can walk."

Quinn cocked her head and looked at Rachel. Why was she being so resistant? She walked around to the passenger side and opened the door.

"It's the least I can do."

Rachel gave Quinn a side smile. "Well, if you insist."

They lingered in front of the passenger door for a moment. Quinn opened her mouth to speak, but something caught her attention out of the corner of her eye. A man with a large camera exploded out of the bushes like a freaking Velociraptor.

"Quinn! Over here! Is this where you've been hiding?"

It took her a moment to realize what was actually happening. She hadn't been hounded by the paparazzi in months. Not since she left L.A. She had finally let her guard down and gotten used to the fact that no one was chasing her in Lima. But once the flashes and questions started, she quickly tried to assess and evade the situation.

"What the hell?" Quinn all but pushed Rachel into the passenger seat and closed the door immediately, trying to protect her from the blinding light.

"Quinn! What have you been doing this whole time? Is it true you're supposed to be in rehab?"

Quinn made her way around the car to the driver seat while shielding her face from the camera lens.

"No comment."

"Who's that in the car with you, Quinn?"

It was only one man, as opposed to a group of them, but he was relentless. And it was only a matter of time before word would get out. Soon, there would be more.

"No comment."

Quinn jumped in the car, turned the ignition and carefully pulled out the parking lot, trying not to take out the paparazzo that was crowding her car. She was out of breath and white as a ghost. Rachel sat quietly next to her.

"I'm so sorry about that," wheezed a breathless Quinn. "I had no idea he was there."

"It's okay," replied Rachel. "It just…startled me." She glanced over at Quinn's torso. "Can you please put on your seatbelt? You're doing 80."

Quinn blushed thinking about the fact that Rachel was actually concerned for her. She reached over and pulled the seatbelt over her shoulder and snapped it in place.

"Better?"

Rachel nodded. "So, does that happen to you a lot?"

"Yeah." Quinn's hands gripped the steering wheel as she eased her foot off the gas a bit. "Not here, but back at home it happened a lot. I have no idea how he found me."

Rachel shrugged. "I guess all it takes is one phone call to TMZ from some local trying to get a taste of fame."

"And here I thought everyone in Lima was wholesome and trustworthy." She flashed a smile over at Rachel. "Look, I don't think it's safe to go back to school just yet. Do you mind if we leave your car there? I can take you home and then pick you up for school tomorrow."

"Sounds like we don't really have any other option."

Quinn smiled and pushed further down on the gas pedal. The incidents over the past hour were the most exciting events she's experienced in a while. There was enough adrenaline pumping through her to last her for days.

\--

Later that week, Quinn's strides were a little longer and there was an extra spring in her step walking through the halls of McKinley High. When she drove Rachel to school the morning after the paparazzi episode, things were a little less awkward than they had been. Perhaps the hilarity of the confetti cannon incident was what they needed to ease the tension between them. They had even exchanged a couple of friendly texts over the past few days. Regardless of how Rachel made her feel, she was glad to at least have a friend. Someone to text when her idle hands were driving her crazy.

She walked by Rachel's locker hoping to at least catch a glimpse of her before class. Sure enough, she was there applying lip gloss with her locker door open.

"Hey." Quinn coyly leaned against the locker next to Rachel's.

"Good morning," Rachel's smile was very noticeable.

"How was the rest of Carousel?" Quinn was referring to Rachel's last text the night before in which she revealed that she loved falling asleep to musicals. Last night's choice was Carousel – a film Quinn had never seen.

"Tragically beautiful as always. I only cried once, though. Usually it's more, but I fell asleep before the end, so it saved me from shedding more tears."

"Well that explains the radio silence after my last text."

"Yeah, sorry." Rachel closed her locker and started walking with Quinn. Their forward trajectory was interrupted by a lively young Latina who bounded over to them and practically knocked Rachel over with a rather aggressive hug.

"Hey you. I missed you this morning." Santana ran her hands down the length of Rachel's arms and leaned into her seductively. It was a move that made Quinn sick to her stomach, yet somehow she couldn't look away. It was like a car accident. She was ashamed for looking, but was way too intrigued not to.

Santana pulled away from Rachel, but kept her arm around her shoulder.

"Sorry I fell asleep so early. You wore me out," Santana informed Rachel, obviously not caring that she had an audience.

Confusion and panic took hold of Quinn and she looked at Rachel questioningly. Was Santana there last night? While they were texting each other? Of course, why would it matter? They're obviously dating, or hooking up, or whatever they want to call it. Why should she care what Rachel does on her own time?

"She was over at your house last night?" Quinn tried to sound as nonchalant as possible while posing the question to Rachel.

"Oh yeah. We had ourselves a little sleepover." Santana took it upon herself to answer the question. "Popped in a little Carousel to wind down."

It was in that moment where fury, pain, frustration and disappointment formed together to create a perfect storm of emotion inside of Quinn. Santana had stayed the night at Rachel's. And she was texting her like an idiot. Sure, they were friends now, so why wouldn't she text her? But the least Rachel could have done was tell her she had company.

Rachel protested. "Uh…no, it really wasn't like th-"

"Rachel, don't you have to get to class?" Santana cut her off before Rachel could continue.

"Um…yeah. Okay. I'll see you guys later. Bye, Quinn."

When Rachel headed off to her next class, Quinn pursed her lips, trying to avoid eye contact with Santana. She turned and walked away, but Santana ran to catch up with her.

"You like her."

Quinn stopped and turned to the Cheerio. She really wasn't in the mood to engage. "She's very sweet."

"Yeah, yeah, sweet as fucking pie and all that good stuff. But what I mean is, you want her."

"What?" Quinn threw her head back incredulously.

"You want her. I see the way you look at her."

"I don't know what you're talking about." Quinn started walking again with Santana keeping her pace at her side.

"Oh no? You do know that as a newly gay lady, I have a sixth sense about these things, don't you?"

"I'm not gay," replied a defiant Quinn.

"Oh, of course not. I suppose you're right. Hot, sexy, famous Quinn Fabray likes girls? Couldn't be. That would just be too damaging to her reputation."

Quinn felt her shoulders tense. "Santana, please stop talking."

"You know you want her. Would it kill you to admit it?"

Quinn stopped in her tracks once more. She fought every impulse to vocalize her internal words: 'I think it might.' A lump began to form in her throat. She needed to be somewhere else right now. Not in the middle of a hallway and not in the middle of this conversation with Santana Lopez.

"Too bad," continued Santana. "You missed out. We're very happy together." Just before walking away, she leaned in for the kill and whispered to Quinn, "Plus, she's a great lay."

Quinn watched as Santana disappeared into the classroom. She could feel the rage and turmoil building up inside her. Why would Santana share that piece of information with her? Was that really necessary? Why was she rubbing her relationship with Rachel in her face? Quinn needed a release. She could feel her wrath overflowing. Or maybe it wasn't wrath. Could it possibly be jealousy? Either way, it was about to explode. Quinn found herself pounding her fists against a locker as an infuriated grunt escaped her lips. Her heart jumped at the sound. She even scared herself in this moment and now her hands were aching. Skin and bone on metal wasn't a fun combination.

Quinn Fabray was obviously someone with a lot of passion and a lot of rage. Sometimes those lines would tend to blur.


	9. You're the Piece of Me I Wish I Didn't Need

Vulnerability was Quinn's sworn enemy. It always had been. She made it a point to be in complete control of her life, her emotions and her body at all times. Sure, she wavered once or twice in the past, but never like this. This was something she was not used to. Lately, Quinn awoke each day questioning everything around her – right down to her own existence. Rachel Berry was completely unraveling her without even really trying. The brunette was reaching down deep inside and pulling her apart with every touch, every whisper, every laugh because none of them were meant for her. They were all directed toward Santana. In the halls, at lunch, during glee club. They were inseparable and it was slowly breaking Quinn down.

Why wasn't Rachel looking over at her as much as she used to? Even when Quinn would cozy up to Finn as much as she could, Rachel would barely cast a glance in her direction. Quinn spent a lot of time during glee watching Rachel, studying her body language and hoping for any sign that she at least feigned the slightest interest in what she was doing.

Her normally stoic demeanor had changed and she was becoming drastically more frustrated with each passing day. Sure, she and Rachel would share a few fleeting looks and pleasant hallway conversations. The friendly texts even continued, but it just felt off because for Quinn, it was never enough.

To make matters worse, her patience with Finn was starting to wear thin. While he seemed very sweet and did his best to impress her with whatever clever joke he had or with his moves on the football field, her genuine lack of interest in him was becoming difficult to hide. She was usually pretty good at faking it when someone hung around her that she really didn't care for. And she went the extra mile with Finn because she wanted to try and fit in as much as she could, but trying to carry on a conversation with him was exhausting. And boring. She supposed she should feel bad for trying to use him in order to survive life in high school, but after revealing to her what happened between him and Rachel, she started to become a bit resentful toward him. What right did he have to share such private information about Rachel, anyway? And maybe if he hadn't told her, Quinn wouldn't have used it as ammo against Rachel during one of her manic, freak out episodes. That was her fault, really. She couldn't blame Finn for that one, but still, he shouldn't have said anything.

But she stuck with him anyway. It felt safe and normal enough. He had kissed her twice. The first one was incredibly sloppy and caught her completely off guard. The second one was ruined by the fact that he mumbled something about always wanting to make out with a celebrity. She should have been angry. She should have stopped seeing him then and there, but she felt too indifferent to care.

All that apathy towards Finn somehow led her here. She really didn't know how she ended up in this position. It was one of those nights where thoughts of Rachel Berry refused to leave her head. She had no idea how or why this demure girl was occupying every brain cell she had. What was so special about her and why did it have the effect on Quinn? It was driving her crazy, so she called up Finn and asked if she could come over for a bit and maybe watch a movie. She knew she should have just tried to force herself to fall asleep instead because leading him on like this was really not okay. But she felt confused and alone and wanted to be around someone who wanted her. Her therapist back in LA always warned her to watch for signs of codependency, which ran rampant among young starlets in Hollywood. And Quinn was always careful. But loneliness was a tricky thing. Coupling it with very confusing and conflicting feelings was an easy way of asking for trouble. Quinn found herself in that kind of trouble earlier this year. And that was the catalyst for her unplanned sabbatical.

What the hell was she doing here? The credits to Roadhouse were rolling on Finn's 19-inch TV as she looked over at him passed out next to her on his bed. He had tried several times throughout the night to initiate some form of physical contact, but Quinn managed to rebuff his advances. So now she was leaning uncomfortably against his headboard, listening to him snore and wondering how she can get up and leave without waking him up. She slid silently and carefully off the bed and turned around to cover him with his blanket. Before walking out, she noticed a photo on his desk covered by a pile of books and papers. She quietly pulled it out and saw that it was a picture of Finn and Rachel performing together on stage. He was facing her while she was facing out to the audience. Her eyes were full of passion and excitement. It made Quinn wonder what song she was singing that made her light up like that. Quinn smiled at the photo, put it back where she found it and walked out the door.

\--

Quinn was never really the nervous type. She had once been described in a Vanity Fair profile as having ice water in her veins and a steel-plated heart, only allowing it to melt when she was filming an emotional scene. No one had ever doubted how talented an actress she truly was, but as a person, she was hard to get to know. Sure, she kept her emotions right on the surface whenever she was in front of a camera, but she knew how to keep those emotions in check when she returned to being herself. Perhaps that's why this thing with Rachel was so disconcerting for her. No matter how hard she tried, she couldn't shut it off or drown it out. It was too loud and too real and as a result, it was all too scary.

It was a Wednesday. Only two days left until the holiday break. Quinn was feeling frantic as she paced back and forth in the girls bathroom, waiting for the door to open. Thirty seconds earlier, she had walked past Rachel, who carrying on some sort of conversation with Santana. She tried to hear what they were saying, but their voices lowered as she approached them. She didn't stop, she didn't talk to them, but she did make eye contact with Rachel and gestured to the bathroom. She only hoped her message was clear enough and Rachel could pry herself away from Santana for a moment. She wasn't sure exactly what she was going to say, but she knew something had to be done. Words had to be said. Lines had to either be drawn or crossed. But none of that could happen until Rachel walked through the door.

She felt a breeze against her neck and turned around to see Rachel walk in. Her lips curled up against her will and she was unable to hide her instantaneous smile. Rachel stood there looking quizzically at her. Quinn had a hard time putting words together. She was too busy eyeing Rachel in her v-neck sweater and black skirt with black tights. The heels Rachel was wearing gave her some added height and she didn't feel as tall around her as she normally does.

"Did you want to talk to me about something?" Rachel asked as she stepped further into the bathroom.

"Yeah." Quinn nodded. Her voice, though a bit feeble and quiet, echoed through the room.

"What's up?"

What exactly was Quinn supposed to say? Why did she even bring her in here? This was not planned out very well. Normally, she had a script in front of her – words on a page that were given to her by someone who knew more about life and love than she did. But there were no scene descriptions, no action cues, no memorized lines. It was just her. Quinn could feel her palms sweating. This was not normal. Her palms don't sweat. Ever. This was a completely brand new occurrence and she didn't like it one bit. Seriously, what the hell was so special about Rachel Berry that made her palms sweat like this?

"I…um…" Words, Fabray. Use your 'big girl' words. "H…how are you?"

Rachel gave her perplexed smile. "I'm okay."

Quinn took a few steps toward Rachel.

"Just okay?"

"Yeah. I guess."

"You guess," repeated Quinn. "How are things with Santana?"

Rachel sighed. "Is this what you wanted to talk to me about?"

Quinn shook her head. "No. Not really." She continued closing the gap between her and Rachel. Her eyes were looking everywhere but Rachel's face. Why was it so hard to look at her?

"Are you okay, Quinn?"

Quinn chose a focal point. It just so happened to be Rachel's neck. She stared at the exposed skin and followed the line of her v-neck down to her chest. She stopped breathing altogether at this point. She took a step back and managed to fill her lungs with air once more. Her hands were shaking and her stomach felt queasy. But the good kind of queasy. The kind where your body knew something was going to happen before your brain can even register it.

"Quinn-"

"Please. Don't say anything. I…I need to just…" Quinn didn't know how it happened, but somehow she found herself grabbing Rachel by the arms and pushing her up against the sink. She leaned in and lingered for a moment, trying to grasp the gravity of the situation. She was close enough to know that every exhale of her breath was warming Rachel's face.

Rachel winced briefly from her backside hitting the sink. Quinn memorized that look, along with the look that came next. A look of bewilderment and wonderment. She watched Rachel's eyes, wondering how it was possible that two brown eyes burning back into hers could have the power to shake her to her very core. She was petrified by what was happening, but also intrigued by the fact that Rachel wasn't fighting it.

Quinn wanted her. There was no denying it anymore. She leaned in closer, brushing her lips against Rachel's cheek, moving them slowly to her ear.

"I don't know what I'm doing," Quinn whispered, her voice a shaky mess. With every breath she drew, she watched a few strands of the Rachel's hair move back and forth. Quinn closed her eyes and took a giant leap of faith. "Why can't I stop thinking about you?"

There was no answer, but she felt the muscles in Rachel's arms tense up.

Quinn opened her eyes and grazed her lips along Rachel's cheek, gradually guiding them to Rachel's mouth. She didn't wait for a signal or for approval. She was tired of waiting. This was something she'd wanted to do since the first time they kissed and every day after that. Quinn loosened her grasp on Rachel's arms and moved her left hand lower, wrapping her arm around the small of Rachel's back and pulling the other girl closer to her. Her entire body was aching, yet she found a certain amount of relief in feeling Rachel's body against hers. Her other hand came up and brushed the hair out of Rachel's face. Not another word was exchanged. Really, what more was there to say?

Quinn leaned in and captured Rachel's lips with her own. The sensation was something she had never experienced before. Not even the first time they kissed, which was pretty phenomenal, but this was something else…almost otherworldly. Rachel's lips were as soft and smooth as she remembered, but there was something more to them this time. They were almost swollen with anticipation, as if they were waiting for this as much as Quinn's lips were. And Rachel was kissing her back with a fervor that made her believe that maybe…just maybe…Rachel wanted this as much as she did.

Quinn moved her hand behind Rachel's neck as the kiss intensified. She wanted to touch everything – every part of Rachel's body. She trapped Rachel's bottom lip between her own and ran her tongue along it. A throaty breath escaped Rachel's mouth and Quinn took this opportunity to drink in more of her. She parted Rachel's mouth with her tongue, slipping it past her lips and running the tip of it across Rachel's tongue. The enraptured whimper from Rachel was enough to send shockwaves down Quinn's spine.

Everything felt amazing. She was high, almost euphoric. Her hands moved to the hem of Rachel's sweater, gripping it tightly as she pushed Rachel further against the sink. Her skin was on fire and her lips were aching for more. She deepened the kiss and moved her hands down over Rachel's ass and gripped her legs. With surprisingly little effort, she lifted Rachel up onto the sink and pushed her back into the mirror. Quinn's hands were now slowly, but eagerly moving up underneath Rachel's skirt. As much as she appreciated how cute tights looked on the girl, she found herself wishing she was touching bare skin. She moved her hands further up the skirt, exploring everything she possibly could. Rachel's body twitched as she touched certain spots and Quinn smiled to herself knowing she could extract that kind of reaction from her.

Quinn felt a jolt of pleasure when Rachel's legs came up and wrapped themselves around her, pulling her in closer.

Quinn repositioned her hands, moving them out from Rachel's skirt to underneath her sweater. Her fingers burned at the touch of Rachel's back, her smooth skin becoming Quinn's favorite new addiction. She trailed her fingers from Rachel's back to her abdomen, slightly lifting the brunette's shirt while doing so. She ran her hands over Rachel's abs and up around her waist. This elicited way more excitement from Quinn than she anticipated as her tongue continued dancing with Rachel's. She languidly pulled away and placed a line of soft kisses down Rachel's jaw line and then began to taste the flesh where her neck met her shoulder. She circled her tongue along her skin, then kissed the dampened area and softly grazed it with her teeth. Rachel threw her head back as the sound tiny moans filled up the room.

Quinn's hands took on a life of their own, exploring as much as they could while her tongue trailed back up to Rachel's lips, aching for more. Rachel obliged, but before they could go any further, Quinn heard a couple voices right outside the door. She pulled away just as the door opened, instinctively pulling Rachel down from the sink. She put a good five feet of space between them as two girls entered the bathroom. Neither of them seeming to take an interest in Quinn or Rachel, so it was safe to say they hadn't been caught. Quinn was trying to catch her breath as she noticed Rachel backing up toward the door.

"Rachel…"

Before she could stop her, Rachel was out the door.

"Shit." Quinn ran out after her.

"Rachel, stop! Please." She managed to catch up and cut her off.

Rachel abruptly stopped, but wouldn't look at Quinn.

Quinn was at a loss. "I'm sorry, okay? I…I thought you wanted to."

"And what happens tomorrow? You threaten me and make me feel like crap just because I enjoyed it? Or are we going to pretend this didn't happen, either?" Rachel's pained expression said it all. She still didn't trust Quinn.

"I won't do that, I swear. I don't even know why I did that the first time. It was a shitty thing to do. I admit that." Quinn looked at Rachel pleadingly. "I was scared. I…I didn't even really know you."

"You still don't," protested Rachel.

"But I'm starting to." Quinn bit her bottom lip. "I hope you know by now that I would never do that to you again. I just…I didn't want anyone to know."

Rachel nodded in understanding.

"Can we go somewhere and talk? Please?" Quinn's heart was pounding waiting for a response.

"I should go."

Quinn felt her entire body deflate with those three words.

"So that's it? You just want to be friends?"

Rachel thought for a moment. Quinn could swear she was weighing the options in her head.

"I…I need to go. We'll talk later, okay?" Rachel sidestepped her way around Quinn and disappeared down the hallway.

Quinn stood there wondering exactly what she had to do in order to earn Rachel's trust and perhaps even win her heart. After a kiss like that, she at least had to try. It was official. Quinn wanted Rachel. It took a while to actually admit it to herself, but she knew it was time to accept the truth. All these "confused" feelings she had were just a way of coping with something she was so unsure of. She was just fighting the inevitable. She now knew what she had to do and decided it would be best to bring in reinforcements.

\--

Quinn scanned the faces of each Cheerio on the field until she found Brittany. The second practice was over, Quinn rushed the field to talk to her. She noticed Santana's hand rubbing Brittany's shoulder but the second Santana saw Quinn, she pulled her hand away, whispered something to Brittany and ran off the field without even acknowledging Quinn's presence. It seemed rather weird, but Quinn couldn't concern herself with that right now. She was on a mission.

"Hi Brittany."

"Oh, hi Quinn!" Brittany took a swig of water from her bottle and splashed a bit on her face.

Quinn looked around. "Isn't it a bit cold out to have practice on the field?"

"Ms. Sylvester says the cold is good for us. It adds character, or something like that. I couldn't really hear her. I think my eardrums froze over."

"Why don't you use earmuffs?"

"I tried that once, but Ms. Sylvester said the made my earlobes look chubby."

"She sounds like a peach." Quinn chuckled. "Anyway, I was wondering if I could get your help with something."

"Sure. What is it?" Brittany grabbed her bag and they started walking off the field together.

"I want to sing a song for glee club. Do you think you can help me with the harmonies?"

"You're gonna sing? What song?"

"Well, I have one in mind, but I wanted to get your opinion on it."

"Sure! When do you want to work on it?"

"What are you doing right now?" Quinn asked as she followed Brittany into the locker room.

"I'm free. Do you want to come to my house?"

"Yeah, that would be great. I really appreciate it." Quinn sat down on the bench in front of the lockers. "Are you sure you don't mind helping me? I mean, I know Santana isn't a huge fan of mine."

Brittany closed her locker and turned to face Quinn. "Well, Santana did tell me you have a case of bitchface."

Quinn looked at her incredulously. "Do you think I do?"

Brittany shrugged. "Well, I don't know. It doesn't seem to be contagious. You seem really nice, so I guess I don't care if you have bitchface. I just hope they find a cure."

Quinn nodded, not really knowing if Brittany was serious or not. Based on past interactions with her, it wouldn't surprise Quinn that Brittany legitimately thought bitchface was an actual disease. She found it endearing and didn't have the heart to correct her.

"Also," continued Brittany, "You're really pretty and have nice skin and you smell like rainbows. So I'll totally help you. Just answer one question for me."

"Okay."

"Is this for Rachel?"

Quinn's face went blank. How on earth could Brittany possibly know this was for Rachel? Was she that obvious in her leering and pining? She felt trapped, like she couldn't breathe. It was one thing to finally admit all this to herself, but to admit it to a relative stranger was whole new level of enlightenment.

"Um…"

"It's okay," assured Brittany. "You don't have to answer that. I'll meet you at my place in half an hour."


	10. The Talking Leads to Touching

It was pretty much safe to say that by this point, Rachel didn't know what sleep was anymore. Her strongly regimented nightly and morning routines were now demolished. They no longer existed. She couldn't remember the last time she had felt so out of control. For someone who was so Type A, it was hard to relinquish such control, but also hard to gain it back. She couldn't seem to get back on schedule no matter how hard she tried and, for the first time in her life, she felt oddly at peace with it.

It had been two days since Quinn kissed her in the bathroom. And she had felt Quinn on her lips every single second from that moment on. She relived the moment in her head over and over and couldn't figure out why she ran away after it happened. After finally admitting to herself, and to Santana, how attracted she was to Quinn, she couldn't make sense of why she freaked out. Especially after a kiss like that. It was one for the record books. Rachel had never been kissed like that before. It was by far the most erotic thing she had experience in her sixteen years. She just couldn't believe that Quinn Fabray was the one who did it to her. She loved every single moment of that kiss. She loved the feel of every touch, the sound of every moan, the caress of Quinn's tongue. It was all so perfect, but Rachel didn't know what any of it meant.

Yes, the kiss was amazing and intense and Rachel craved so much more from it, but the thought of acting like it never happened again petrified her. She didn't want to open herself up to that kind of verbal ass-kicking from Quinn yet again. Maybe they were just better off as friends. Friends who obviously find each other attractive. And make out. And touch each other. Yes. Friends. It would just be easier that way.

Besides, Rachel couldn't help but feel a tinge of guilt about leading Quinn to believe she was with Santana. But she did have to hand it to the Cheerio: her plan worked. Maybe a little too well because now Rachel was more confused than ever. She needed to talk to someone. She needed her Yoda.

"Berry, you're being a jackass," Santana stated bluntly.

Thanks, Yoda.

"That was uncalled for," argued Rachel, as they walked side-by-side down the hall toward the choir room.

"Don't care. It's completely true. I don't know what you're complaining about. You got what you wanted, didn't you?"

"I guess."

"Did you or did you not text me that Quinn gave you the greatest kiss of your life? And in the bathroom of all places. Damn, that girl is fifty shades of kinky."

Frustrated, Rachel sighed. "Yeah, but…what if she didn't actually want to kiss me? What if this whole attraction thing is in my head?"

Santana stopped and stared at her, dumbfounded. "That is, by far, the stupidest thing I've ever heard you say. And that's saying something. Are you telling me she just slipped and fell onto your lips? Did she tongue you at gunpoint, too, or something?"

"No." Rachel realized just how ridiculous she sounded. Because the fact is, Quinn did kiss her and Quinn did run after her when Rachel ran out of the bathroom. That wasn't something she imagined.

"So go for it. What are you waiting for?" asked Santana.

Rachel searched the ground. Maybe her answer was somewhere along the tiled corridor.

"I don't know. She's so…unpredictable."

Santana smirked. "Sometimes those are the best kinds of people."

Rachel nodded and thought for a moment. "I think we should just stop this whole fake relationship thing."

"I agree. I mean, you pretty much got what you wanted out of it, didn't you? Besides, I miss getting my cuddle on with Brittany during glee."

Rachel coyly looked away from Santana. In all this mess, she almost forgot what a sacrifice both Brittany and Santana made for her.

"Thank you, Santana. I really do appreciate everything you've done. I'm sure it wasn't easy. I know I'm not your favorite person."

"Well, to be honest, hanging out with you these past couple weeks wasn't the worst thing in the world," she admitted reluctantly.

"Is that so?"

"Whatever, Berry. If you repeat that to anyone, you know I'll deny it."

Rachel smiled knowing full well Santana was telling the truth. "So…I guess this is our breakup?"

"Yeah, I guess so."

"Should I slap you or something?"

"I'm sure you've wanted to do that many times, but let's just end it with a hearty handshake and a 'see ya later.'" Santana stuck her hand out to Rachel and they shook. "I do still think you're making a huge mistake by not going for it. It's the last day of class. What if you don't see her again during the next three weeks? Or ever again?"

"Why wouldn't I see her again?"

"I don't know. What if she gets called to do this once in a lifetime movie with lasers and dinosaurs and car chases and dance battles and aliens?"

Rachel stared blankly at her. "That sounds like the worst movie ever."

Santana rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, Berry. We really don't have anything in common do we? It would have never lasted."

Rachel shrugged. "We both have a weakness for hot blonde girls."

"An excellent point. Let's go find them, shall we?"

For the first time in weeks, time they walked into the choir room without holding hands. Santana excitedly darted over to Brittany and sat down next to her while Rachel scanned the room for Quinn. She was taken aback when she spotted Quinn sitting on a stool in the middle of the room. Rachel's eyes never left her as she took a seat next to Santana in the front row.

Once everyone took their seats, Quinn nodded over to Brittany who stood up, grabbed another stool and took a seat next to her.

Rachel looked at Santana questioningly. Santana only shrugged.

Quinn took a deep breath.

"Hi everybody. I asked Mr. Schue if I could perform first today. I figured if I waited until the end, I might lose my nerve."

Rachel's confusion only escalated with that statement, but she found herself hanging on to every word Quinn was saying.

"I asked Brittany to help me out with the harmonies," Quinn continued. "I just wanted to thank you all. You made me feel really welcomed here. I had no idea what to expect. I miss home so much, but you've helped me to miss it a little less."

She looked right at Rachel during that statement. Rachel knew. She wasn't talking to the glee club. She was talking to her.

"You've done a lot for me to make me feel at home." Quinn's eyes were still on Rachel. "I figured it's time I did something in return. It's time for me to be brave."

Rachel hear Quinn's voice tremor. She was scared. Rachel wanted to jump up and yell 'No! It's okay. You don't have to do this!' But she didn't. All she could do was watch because she was completely mesmerized.

The music started and Quinn looked down, waiting for her cue. The moment she began singing, Rachel's heart stilled when Quinn looked up and locked eyes on her.

"I feel so helpless now, my guitar is not around

And I'm struggling with the xylophone to make these feelings sound,

And I'm remembering you singing and bringing you to life,

It's raining out the window and today it looks like night.

You haven't written to me in a week, I wonder why that is,

Are you too nervous to be lovers? Friendship's through with just one kiss,

I watched you very closely I saw you look away

Your eyes are either gray or blue, I'm never close enough to say."

Rachel swallowed hard as Quinn's eyes bore into her with an intensity pierced through her soul. Quinn was reaching out the best way she knew how. She was reaching out in a way she knew Rachel could understand. What better way to get through to her than with? It's exactly what Rachel would have done. In fact, she had done it. If there's one thing Rachel knew for sure about Quinn Fabray, it's that she knew exactly how to grab a hold of her heart. She had done it since the first day they met when Rachel stumbled into the bathroom. Without speaking a word, Quinn found a way inside of Rachel with one look.

Rachel continued to watch Quinn, transfixed on every word she sang and every move she made.

Santana leaned over to Rachel. "I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say she's singing this to you."

Rachel's mouth was wide open, yet she was speechless. All she could do was nod.

"You're welcome, by the way," whispered Santana, as she nudged her.

Rachel took this opportunity to look Quinn up and down. She was gorgeous. Rachel had known that from the beginning, but seeing her up there actually singing ignited something within her. And Quinn, apparently, knew exactly how to stoke the flames.

"But your sweatshirt says it all with the hood over your face,

I can't keep staring at your mouth without wondering how it tastes,

I'm with another boy; he's asleep, I'm wide awake

And he's trying to win my heart, but it's taking time.

I know the shape of your hands because I watch them when you talk

And I know the shape of your body because I watch you when you walk,

And I want to know it all but I'm giving you the lead

So go on, go on and take it, don't fake it."

Rachel took in every word. Every note. Every breath. Every single lyric. There was not a doubt in her mind. Quinn was singing to her and only her. She was equal parts exhilarated, awestruck and embarrassed. Is this how Quinn felt when Rachel sang to her in front of everyone? No wonder, she freaked out. Could anyone else tell that the song was directed at her? She was way too enthralled with Quinn to bother looking around to find out. Besides, she didn't think Quinn would give herself away that easily. She had too much at stake. This was most likely a clandestine moment between just the two of them…and two helpful Cheerios. To everyone else in the glee club, it was just a song. Granted, it was sung by Vanity Fair's most recent "Young Hollywood" issue cover girl, but other than that, it was nothing out of the ordinary for the other glee members.

Rachel held Quinn's gaze, their eyes smoldering. The corners of Rachel's mouth turned up as she tried to stifle a smirk. Her heart was pounding with each new lyric. Music had always been her number one passion in life, but somehow in this very moment, Quinn managed to make her see it in a whole new light. Something had felt off for the past six months or so. What was once her passion and life's goal had turned into a somewhat forced hobby. What she used to live and breathe for had become a chore. But right here, right now, sitting in this chair in the choir room where she, herself, had poured her heart and soul into solo after solo, Rachel found her passion again. It was right in front of her, singing to her, bringing music back into her heart. Her heart danced along with the rhythm of the song.

Rachel looked over at Santana, who was beaming with pride as Brittany chimed in on the bridge.

"Charming, crazy eyes have you. Are they gray or blue?

I won't make the move, you must make the move,

If you make the move, I will then approve,

If you do not move, we will surely lose."

Oh my God. Every word spoke to her. Quinn's not-so-subtle message was coming through loud and clear. Rachel asked herself if it would be in poor taste to run up and take her in her arms right then and there. Yes, yes it probably would. Just wait it out, Berry. For once in your life, be patient. Let her sing to you.

Rachel gripped her chair tightly. It was the only thing that kept her restless legs from standing up and charging full force at the blonde. Her legs twitched, her feet shuffled and her body ached with anticipation, wanting so badly to hold her; to make the first move.

Quinn only broke away from Rachel's eyes once. She looked back and forth between Rachel and Santana, then came back to focus on Rachel. And that's where they would remain. Quinn's pure and rapturous voice was now singing with more intensity and purpose than before. She refused to take her eyes away from Rachel. And Rachel would die if she did.

Quinn's voice blended flawlessly with Brittany's harmonies.

"Don't second guess your feelings, you were right from the start,

And I know that she's your lover, but she's nowhere near your heart,

This city is for strangers, like the sky is for the stars

But I think it's very dangerous if we do not take what's ours.

And I'm winning you with words because I have no other way,

I want to look into your face without your eyes turning away,

Last night I watched you sing because a person has to try,

And I walked home in the rain because a person cannot lie."

The music ended. Blood rushed to Rachel's ears. There was about four seconds of silence before everyone began applauding, but Rachel didn't hear any of it. She was too fascinated by the smile that lit up Quinn's face. She was stunning, absolutely beautiful. Rachel began excitedly clapping as she bit her lip to try and contain her smile. The room erupted with more applause and cheers before it died down. Quinn mouthed 'thank you to Brittany.' Brittany then took a bow and Quinn quietly sat down next to Rachel.

Rachel looked over at Quinn, willing her to look back at her. She didn't. But the resolute smile on her face said it all. And Rachel beamed. She never thought she'd ask this in her entire life, but can glee club be over now? She had things she needed to tend to.

Quinn still wouldn't look at her, but Rachel could sense she knew she was staring. She watched as Quinn slowly moved her seat closer. It wasn't long until their arms were conveniently touching. Rachel watched Quinn's face appear as blasé as possible while she moved in even closer. But there was a lightness in her eyes. And a hint of that smile was still there. Quinn knew exactly what she was doing. Perhaps she needed the physical contact just as much as Rachel. It felt amazing, but it wasn't enough. Sadly, it would have to do for now.

Rachel gave up on Quinn looking back at her, so she faced forward and looked at the clock. There was still another forty minutes left of glee. And then winter break would begin. And then, all though she didn't know it, Rachel's life would begin.

\--

Rachel couldn't breathe. Not that she was complaining, but air was something she had grown accustomed to over the course of her life, so it was a necessity to fill her mouth and lungs with something other than the taste of Quinn's lips. She pulled away briefly in inhaled some oxygen before she passed out. Quinn was relentless. She only gave her five seconds of reprieve before her lips were back on Rachel's. The brunette's head was growing dizzy, but in the most beautiful way possible. Everything was heightened around her. Colors were brighter. Sounds were deafening. Smells were more fragrant, particularly the scent of the girl on top of her. Rachel couldn't quite place it. It was a cross between lavender and cedar. And it was intoxicating.

She wasn't sure exactly how she got to this point. After glee, Quinn asked if she could come over. Of course, Rachel said yes. They came up the stairs, closed the bedroom door, stood in silence for a moment, and that's when Rachel boldly made her move. Apparently, that was all Quinn needed to bring them to this point. Even though she was on the bed with Quinn hovering over her kissing every single inch of her lips, it was still a seemingly innocent enough scene. The only articles of clothing that had come off were their shoes. Rachel abhorred anyone being on her bed wearing shoes.

She panted heavily as Quinn explored the depths of her mouth, slowly dipping her tongue in every time Rachel's lips parted. Rachel could feel Quinn's hand burn up the side of her torso, up through her hair and back down to her cheek. The friction of Quinn's jeans against her inner thigh was almost too much for Rachel and she let out a whimper with every shift of Quinn's body. She couldn't believe how overwhelming it felt to have Quinn Fabray on top of her, pressing their bodies against each other. Rachel reached up her hand and caught a few tendrils of Quinn's hair. Her hand was shaking. Partly from nerves, but also because there were so many things she wanted to touch. But Quinn was keeping it PG, so Rachel had no choice but to try and do the same. She moved her hand down to the middle of Quinn's back and pulled her in closer. She could feel Quinn's mouth smile against her own.

Rachel was burning. Beads of sweat were forming at her temples and matting her hair. She could swear she saw steam rising from the friction between them. Suddenly, her clothes were too stifling. She wanted everything off. Not just to cool her body down, but also to let Quinn study every inch of her skin. Preferably with her tongue. She was starting to get that dizzy, about-to-pass-out feeling again. She needed air once more and gently broke away, planting kisses on Quinn's cheek while breathing in the much-needed fresh air. But it was short-lived because Quinn remained insatiable, pushing her tongue back into Rachel's mouth, more forcefully this time. It was as if she was proving a point, telling Rachel if she pulled away again, there would be consequences. So Rachel met Quinn's greedy tongue with her own, assuaging the blonde's wanton need for more contact.

Every time Quinn made the slightest shift in her legs, Rachel could feel it throughout her entire body. She felt the heat radiating between her legs and the second Quinn's thigh made contact once more, she could feel the wetness pooling in her center. How it is possible that Quinn was doing this to her? All they were doing was making out. Granted, there was a little bit of grinding in the mix, but she couldn't believe it was enough to make Rachel ache for relief. She flashbacked to the night she got herself off while thinking about Quinn on top of her and wondered if she'd have to do that again tonight. Because she knew this eventually had to stop. It was too much. It was all happening too fast.

Quinn's tongue traced along Rachel's top lip as she strategically moved her thigh between Rachel's one more time. The brunette felt like her insides were going to explode. She arched her head back and moaned loudly at the contact. Rachel tried to compose herself, but before she could regain any control over her body, Quinn rubbed her thigh against her once more.

"Oh my God." Rachel closed her eyes and breathed heavily. When she opened her eyes, she was greeted by a smiling Quinn, obviously please with elicit that reaction.

Before Rachel had time to say anything else, Quinn's mouth was back on hers. This went on for quite a bit longer. It felt like hours. Days, even. Rachel completely lost track of the time. She was too busy feeling Quinn above her. Too busy writhing below her. Too busy using her mouth for something besides singing. This was by far the longest and steamiest make out session she had ever experienced.

Rachel didn't know if it was the way Quinn was making her feel, if it was the fact that she was half-delirious by this point, or the fact that she felt so emotionally raw, but she suddenly had the need to be honest.

"I think…you should probably…know," Rachel muttered between kisses. "Santana and I…we…mmm…we were never together."

She braced herself for the worst. As much as she wanted to keep feeling Quinn against her body, she knew the guilt of her lie would eventually eat away at her. Better to rip off the bandage.

Quinn's kisses didn't even slow down.

"I know."

Rachel tried to focus on the conversation, but it was difficult with Quinn's breath so close against her ear.

"What?" wheezed Rachel.

"I know you're not really with Santana." Quinn spoke as she moved her lips down to Rachel's collarbone. "I kinda figured it out. She and Britt were texting each other the entire time we were rehearsing." She nipped at the skin above Rachel's collarbone. "I asked her about it. She didn't say anything, but her face said it all." She nipped again. This time it was harder.

Rachel winced. Was she being chastised for her lie?

"I'm sorry. I really am." Her voice was faint. It was hard to talk normally with Quinn discovering new places to make her squirm.

"Are you?" Quinn ran her teeth along the sensitive spot where Rachel's neck me her shoulder and bit down.

Rachel hissed. "Yes. Yes, I'm so sorry."

Quinn moved her hand along Rachel's arm, grabbed her wrist and brought it above her head against the headboard. Rachel could feel the blonde's grip squeeze tighter. She had no idea what was about to happen, but Quinn finally took a break from attacking Rachel with her lips to look at her. She went up on her knees, straddling the brunette and continued staring her down.

Rachel swallowed hard, trying to get a read on how Quinn was feeling.

"You're really sorry?" Quinn grasped her wrist even tighter.

Rachel nodded emphatically. "Please don't be mad."

Quinn loosened her grip, rested her hands on each side of Rachel's shoulders, and leaned down toward her.

"I wanted to be angry. I should be pissed, but the truth is, I was too relieved to care about being upset." Quinn looked Rachel up and down and gave her a little side-smile. "Besides, after the way I treated you, I suppose I deserved it."

Rachel swallowed her relief and shook her head. "No one deserves being lied to like that."

Quinn leaned down closer. "No one deserves being punished for me kissing them. So maybe we call it even?" She captured Rachel's lips once more.

Rachel's breath shuddered. "Believe me, that kiss was worth the punishment."

They continued their assault on each other's lips. Then, at some point while Quinn was tasting the sensitive flesh of her neck, Rachel looked out the window and realized it was completely dark out.

"Whoa," she panted as she shook away from Quinn.

"What?" asked Quinn with a disappointed look on her face.

Rachel motioned to the window. "It's dark out."

Quinn looked over at the window. "Oh yeah, look at that."

As hard as it was for her to do, Rachel wriggled her way out from underneath Quinn and sat up. She felt a massive head rush.

"I think I need some water." She grabbed the bottle on her nightstand, took a swig and offered some to Quinn.

"Thanks." She took a drink and put the lid back on.

Silence surrounded them as Rachel caught her breath. She leaned up against her headboard as Quinn sat at the edge of the bed with her feet dangling off.

"Break time over?" asked Quinn.

Rachel couldn't believe how quickly the other girl was ready to get back into. She couldn't help but smile

"I need a minute. Or several."

Quinn nodded. And then, more silence. Being one who never knew when to shut her mouth, Rachel needed to fill the void with something. She chose a question she instantly regretted.

"What exactly are we doing?" She cursed her brain for allowing that question to escape her mouth.

"I thought we were kissing." Quinn casually ran her hand over the floral bedspread.

"I know, but we've been at this for hours. Literally. Hours. The sun has gone down. My lips are almost bruised."

Quinn bit her lip. "Sorry. I couldn't help myself."

Rachel blushed. "It's okay. I really don't mind it. But can we talk for a minute?"

"What do you want to talk about?" She lay down on her back at the foot of Rachel's bed, watching the ceiling.

"I don't know. You?" Rachel leaned forward, trying to catch her attention.

"Me?"

"Yeah. I don't know all that much about you."

"Haven't you read any magazines in the past three years?"

"I'm being serious. All that stuff is just on the surface."

"Ask me something."

Rachel thought for a minute. She wasn't expecting Quinn to be so obliging, but she sat forward and crossed her legs.

"Why did you change your name to Quinn?"

Quinn shot up. "What?"

Suddenly, Rachel felt very embarrassed. "Your real name is Lucy, right? Why did you change it to your middle name?"

"Where did you get that from?" asked the blonde, incredulously.

"Wikipedia," replied a sheepish Rachel.

"Rachel Berry, have you been Googling me?"

Why did she say "Googling" in such a seductive way. It made Rachel think of things. Very naughty things.

"Maybe. Just once."

"Sure. We'll go with that." Quinn lay back down. "My agent said it was a better fit than Lucy. My parents agreed and so I went along with it. I haven't been Lucy in a long time."

"Was it weird? Changing your name?"

"Not really. I kind of liked my middle name. Lucy never really seemed to suit me." She rolled over and crawled toward Rachel. "Now, where were we?"

Rachel giggled and as much as her lips already missed Quinn's she diverted.

"Wait. Tell me about your-"

"Rachel, can we not do this right now?"

"Do what?"

"It's Friday night. School's out. I had a very hard and…weird…semester. My brain has stopped working right now. It needs to reboot."

Rachel pulled her knees up to her chest. She was still trying to get used to Quinn's tone and demeanor and she certainly didn't want to experience her rage again. But leave it to Rachel to poke the bear.

"Can you at least tell me…I mean…the song…" Rachel couldn't get her words out.

"It was a song. It made me think of you," answered Quinn, curtly. Then she mumbled, "Everything makes me think of you."

Rachel smiled. It was comforting to know she wasn't the only was who was unable to clear her thoughts of anything but the one person she didn't want to think about.

"Where did you learn to sing?"

"Rachel, please." Quinn stood up.

"What?" Rachel stood up, too. She was scared, but she was determined to stand her ground. "I just want to know more about you."

"You know enough." Quinn backed away. "I'm so sick of people constantly asking me things all the time. For once, I would just like to not have to talk!"

"I'm sorry." Rachel stepped forward, but Quinn backed away even more. "I didn't realize-"

"You're right," said Quinn. "It's dark out. I should go."

"Don't go. I'm sorry."

Quinn grabbed her jacket and paused at the door for a moment. "I'll call you later."

Rachel didn't move. She didn't argue. She just watched Quinn leave once again. And all she could do was wonder if that call would ever come.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *The song featured in this chapter is "Gray or Blue" by Jaymay.


	11. Come Close, Lay Next To Me

A week had gone by before Rachel heard from Quinn. It was an excruciatingly long week plagued with many questions, many sleepless nights and many attempts at dialing Quinn's number only to chicken out at the last second and hang up. She found it hard to believe she was even in this predicament. Had her life really become such a clichéd story of teenage angst? It was a "West Side Story" kind of week for her iPod. Teenagers in love who simply couldn't get their shit together, kept apart by social standings and racism. Sure, it wasn't exactly parallel to her current situation, but it made for some serious melodrama, especially when she would belt out along with "Somewhere."

Yes, things with Quinn weren't quite as dramatic as Tony and Maria's epic love story, but she was in the mood to be depressed. And she felt like practicing the high notes in "I Have a Love." After Quinn stormed out of her room, Rachel had contemplated going after her, but her brain and her heart were, once again, locked in a never-ending battle. Her brain won that time. So, she played the waiting game. And she sulked. And she worked out by running or jumping on the elliptical. And she sang. She tried to keep as much of her schedule intact as she could in order to keep her mind off of the ever-capricious Quinn Fabray.

Indeed, it was a long week for Rachel, but it ended with a knock on her bedroom door and Quinn standing in the doorway.

"Hey."

It seemed the blonde always knew exactly what to say to completely melt Rachel's worn out heart. Apparently, a simple "hey" was all it took today. She wanted to be angry, or at least appear that way, so she hid her smile and kept her face as stoic as possible.

"Hi." Rachel took a seat in her desk chair. "How did you get in here?"

"The front door was unlocked. I tried knocking, but no one answered."

"Breaking and entering. Do you make it a habit of walking into people's houses uninvited just because they don't answer the door?"

"Only people who are worth getting arrested for."

Quinn's shy smile slowly started to melt the hard exterior Rachel was trying to maintain.

"What do you want, Quinn?"

Quinn lingered in the doorway. "I should have called. I should have called the day after I ran out. Actually, if I'm being completely honest, I shouldn't have left here at all."

Rachel nodded, waiting for more. She leaned back in her chair and folded her arms.

Quinn took this as a sign to continue her groveling. "By now, I think I've made it clear to you that I'm not the easiest person to get to know. And I'm sorry. I'm so sorry for running out like that."

Rachel stood up, walked over to her bed and sat down on the foot of the bed. She looked up at Quinn, who was still in the doorway.

"Come in."

Quinn took a few steps until she was full in the room, but she kept her distance. Rachel could sense her apprehension.

"You know, there's something really dysfunctional about us," informed Rachel. "It seems like we can't have a single conversation without one of us apologizing for something."

Quinn shrugged and grinned. "Keeps things interesting, though. Right?"

"Interesting, yes. And complicated. And confusing." Rachel patted the area next to her on the bed.

Quinn accepted the invitation and sat down next to her. They both stared forward. Rachel wondered who would give in first. She felt somewhat victorious when it was Quinn.

The blonde sighed heavily. "I'm ready."

Rachel looked at her curiously. "Ready for what?"

Quinn nervously bit her lower lip. "You want to know more about me? I'm ready. Ask me anything and I promise I'll be honest with you. I owe you at least that much after the way I've treated you."

"And you won't run away?"

"I won't run away."

Rachel's heart raced faster as she watched Quinn place her hand over her own between them on the bed. Her palms immediately felt sweaty, like right before she was about to perform. The material of her blanket felt like it was thousand degrees. Could Quinn feel it, too? She didn't dare move her hand from that position. Quinn's hand felt amazing on hers and after the hell she had been through this week, she was going to indulge in anything Quinn was willing to give her, however small.

"We really don't have to do this," insisted Rachel.

"Yes, we do. It's time."

Rachel looked around the room, stalling for time. Why couldn't she think of anything right now? Her mind was filled with questions over the past week, but most of them contained the words bitch, wretched and hurtful. She wasn't about to pose any of those to Quinn right now.

"Start with something simple," suggested Quinn.

Rachel nodded. "Um…what's your favorite animal?"

Quinn smiled at the question. "I like manatees."

"Manatees? Why?"

"I don't know. I just think they're cute."

"Okay." Rachel started to feel a bit more at ease now that the first question was out of the way. Her hand was still on fire, though. In the best way possible.

"Who is your favorite Sex and the City character?"

"Samantha. She's honest and loyal." Quinn nudged Rachel's shoulder. "Saving the deep questions for later, huh?"

"Just trying to go easy on you. "What's it like being famous?"

"Ah. So now we get to the meatier stuff." Quinn thought for a moment. "It's everything. It's every emotion you could possibly feel. It's liberating and fun and overwhelming and challenging and exciting and boring and scary and lonely. That's the best way I can describe it. I've felt all of those things at one point or another."

"I know what it's like to feel all those things at the same time. Maybe not in the same capacity as you, but I get it. I know it can be scary and lonely, but I can't wait to be famous. I can't wait for people to hear me sing on Broadway. I know it sounds conceited, but that's really how I feel."

Quinn chuckled and moved her fingers over Rachel's hand. "It does sound a bit conceited, but you're talking to a girl who once walked out of an interview because her publicist insisted the lighting looked terrible. So I can't really judge you there. Besides, I already knew that about you."

"You did?"

"Yes. I'm not the only one whose reputation precedes her. I know all about the Diva of the glee club."

"How did you know?"

"I listen. I hear things. People talk."

Rachel smiled and turned her hand upward to interlock her fingers with Quinn's. The sensation sent chills up her spine. It was amazing how holding hands with the blonde could be so intoxicating.

"So all those conflicting feelings you have…is that why you don't let people in? Are you afraid of feeling another uncontrollable emotion?"

Quinn's eyes went wide. "Wow. That's a rather astute observation. I guess I've never really thought about it like that. But yeah. That sounds about right." Silence fell upon them as Rachel waited for Quinn to continue. "Have you ever heard of Ectopia Cordis?"

Rachel shook her head.

"I didn't know what it was either until I got cast on the show. And even then, I had to look it up." Quinn ran her index finger along Rachel's index finger as she continued. "You know why the show was called Outside Hearts?"

"Because all the characters live outside the fictional town of Hearts, Montana." Her eyes were fixated on Quinn's face, hanging on to every word she said.

"Well, that was one of the reasons. But the show's creator - his son was born with Ectopia Cordis, which means he was born with his heart outside of his body. It's a very, very rare condition. He survived, which is amazing. And a few years later, when the show got picked up, the creator wanted to honor his son. So he called it Outside Hearts."

Rachel was completely enthralled. "Wow."

"Yeah. And I got to meet this kid. Andrew. He was four years old when I first met him and he's just such great kid. It's hard to believe he was ever that sick. One thing I noticed about this was that he completely trusted everyone he came into contact with. The first time I met him, he gave me a huge hug. Then he ran off and hugged the script supervisor. Then he said 'hi' to the other co-stars and not once did he ever shy away or show any fear around anyone. Even though we were all complete strangers to him."

Quinn closed her eyes and took a moment before she continued.

"And it made me think. From the moment this kid was born, he had no choice but to trust every single person he came into contact with. The doctors, the nurses, the specialists. They all poked and prodded him and operated on him several times and he just had to trust them. His first few months of life were spent with complete strangers who wanted nothing more than to help him. And I realized that, in that sense, he was lucky. One of the luckiest people on the planet, because he learned from birth to trust people. To see the good in them. To know that the world is not out to hurt him."

Rachel gave Quinn's hand a slight squeeze to let her know she was listening intently to every word. Quinn sighed, shook her head and continued.

"The rest of us are raised to be cynical and not trust anyone but your family and maybe a close friend or two. Especially working in the entertainment industry. And here this kid was, giving hugs to strangers. He was born with an innate sense of trust. And sometimes I think that if I was that vulnerable and exposed as a baby, maybe I wouldn't have such a hard time trusting people. Maybe I…wouldn't run when a kind, beautiful girl asks me a simple question."

Quinn was tearing up by this point. Rachel couldn't believe how poignant her words were. And in that moment, she understood completely. The enigma surrounding Quinn was slowly starting to fade. Rachel gripped her hand tighter as a tear fell down Quinn's face. She leaned over and stopped the tear with her lips by placing a chaste kiss on her cheek. She remained there for a moment, tasting the salt of Quinn's tear and soaking in the feel of her skin on her lips. Her lips trailed along her cheek toward her mouth as she felt Quinn slowly turn her head to face Rachel. Their lips softly grazed each other as Rachel brought her other hand up to Quinn's cheek, trying to catch another tear before it fell. Rachel pressed harder and deepened the kiss, wanting so badly to take away some of Quinn's anguish. She could swear she felt her lips aching for more the moment Quinn broke contact and gently pulled away. She didn't go far, though. Quinn's forehead rested against Rachel's as she smiled sweetly at her.

"Thank you."

Rachel nodded and turned to face forward. This next question might prove too difficult to ask if she had to look directly at her. She absentmindedly ran her fingernail over her knee as she tried to form the words in her head.

"So…have you always liked girls?"

Quinn cleared her throat and adjusted her position on the bed. She let go of Rachel's hand, leaned her palms on the bed on either side of her and leaned back.

"I had a feeling that one was coming."

Rachel could feel her face turning bright red and anxiously waited for her response.

"The truth is, I know what I've been for a very long time. Since I was a kid, actually. But I never really acted on it until a few years ago. During the second season of the show."

Rachel noticed a change in Quinn's breathing. It was short and rapid. She put her hand on the blonde's thigh to comfort her.

"What happened?"

"Oh wow. We're really gonna do this, aren't we?"

"Only if you're comfortable," assured Rachel.

"Well, without going into too much detail…I fell in love. She was one of my co-stars. It all kind of happened really fast, but once it did happen, we were inseparable. She was beautiful. She was my first love, my first…everything. This went on for over a year. Whenever we went on hiatus, it was torture. And we hid it from everybody. No one knew." Quinn closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "That is until one of the producers caught us. We had been so careful and so discreet and one day, we just got sloppy and too smug for our own good. I forgot to lock the door to the makeup room. It was the first and only time I forgot to lock the door. We were brought in to see the executive producer who proceeded to call our parents. We were told that it was in the best interest of the show that we no longer continue seeing each other. How would it look to everyone knowing that Quinn Fabray was fucking her female co-star? And my parents…I had never heard so much yelling in my life. They berated me and told me if I cared at all about my career, I would stop this at once. I told them I didn't want to stop. I couldn't. So they refused to let me renew my contract for the next season and I was written out of the show."

"Oh my god, Quinn. I…who…which co-star was it?"

Rachel watched as Quinn's hands tightened around the blanket on the bed.

Quinn shook her head. "After the day we got caught, she begged me to never tell anyone. I swore to her I wouldn't. I told her I'd do anything for her. And that included leaving the show. When I went to go find her and tell her I didn't care who knew about us and that I quit the show so I could be with her, she acted…different. Cold. Like she didn't care. She told me I made a huge mistake by quitting and that our relationship was just a little experiment that got out of hand. She told me that if I ever told anyone about us, she'd deny it and claim that I continually hit on her and tried to seduce her. She made it clear that she wanted nothing to do with me anymore."

"And you're still protecting her?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's best that no one outside of the producers and our parents ever found out. The tabloids would have gone nuts. And my career would be over. We were waiting to see if anyone would leak the story. Every day, I searched gossip sites and magazines for any word of it. My parents did, too. They didn't want to have to deal with their daughter's potential tarnished reputation."

"And that's why your parents moved you out here? To avoid scandal?"

Quinn nodded. "And I think to make sure that I stayed away from her. Though, she made that decision for me." Quinn stood up and walked over to Rachel's dresser, examining the contents splayed across it. She picked up a biography on Patti LuPone and nervously thumbed through it. "You're the only person I've ever told about that, by the way."

Rachel sat there in shock and awe. She could see the sadness in Quinn's eyes and couldn't believe how much she was willing to reveal to her. She knew this was difficult for her. She knew Quinn had a near-impenetrable brick wall around her, but she never knew why until now. Wanting desperately to change the subject in order to keep Quinn from shedding anymore tears, Rachel moved on to her next question.

"Do you like me?"

The question was barely above a whisper, but it got Quinn's attention. She put the book down and continued perusing the contents of Rachel's dresser.

"I think that's painfully obvious."

Rachel couldn't hide the joy she found in that answer. She beamed brightly and her insides felt as though they were doing to explode with giddiness.

"Why do you like me?"

Quinn grinned as she turned to face Rachel. "Reasons."

"Reasons?"

"Are you satisfied with the questions I've answered so far?"

"Yes."

"Then why don't we save this one for another time." Quinn walked back over to the bed and leaned over Rachel, resting her hands on each side of the brunette. She was face to face with Rachel. "It's my turn to ask you a question."

"Okay." Rachel was hoping the question was 'wanna make out?'

"And you won't judge me?"

"No."

Quinn brought her face even closer to Rachel's. "I'm exhausted. I would love more than anything to just lie here. With you."

Rachel's breath caught in her throat. "You would?"

Quinn nodded. "I know it's an odd request, but can I just hold you for a while?"

Rachel yielded to her request and scooted back on the bed. She lay down on her left side and immediate felt her entire body get warmer the moment Quinn lay down beside her and wrapped her arms around her. It was exciting and intense, but also somewhat strange. As much as she wanted to, she had a difficult time fully relaxing her body into Quinn's embrace. She could feel Quinn's breath on her neck and the continuing silence between them only made her feel more ill at ease.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"This is weird."

Quinn chuckled. "Yeah. It is. Definitely not what I expected. You want me to stop?"

Never.

"No." As weird as Rachel felt, she certainly didn't want to risk losing physical contact with Quinn.

"Relax." Quinn ran her hand down the length of Rachel's arm.

"I'm trying. This is just…different."

"Have you ever let anyone just hold you?"

"Not since I was a baby."

"Try to relax."

Quinn squeezed Rachel tighter. Goose bumps started to form on Rachel's skin when Quinn placed a kiss on her neck. Then another. And another. It felt incredible. Rachel moved her head to expose more of her neck for Quinn to explore until finally, she let go. Her entire body went limp. Quinn's somehow knew exactly how to control Rachel simply with her lips. If the acting thing didn't pan out, she knew Quinn could make it as a lip charmer. Is a lip charmer even a thing? Well, it should be. And Quinn Fabray would revolutionize it.

"See? That wasn't so hard," stated Quinn, sounding quite proud of herself.

"You're very persuasive."

"It's one of my many talents."

Rachel didn't know how much time had passed, but she enjoyed every moment of being held by Quinn. She didn't even concern herself with the fact that she heard her dads come home a few minutes ago. They knew not to bother her during her evening vocal exercises. Damn it. She forgot about her vocal exercises. Oh well. She would just have to make up for it tomorrow. Right now, she was enjoying the silence. She was enjoying Quinn's stomach and chest heaving into her back with every breath she took. She was enjoying the fact that all Quinn Fabray wanted to do was hold her.

Quinn placed another kiss on her neck and whispered, "I kinda like you."

As resistant as Rachel was when Quinn first stood in her doorway earlier today, she found herself officially falling for her. There was no going back now. Those three words sent her over the edge. There was absolutely nothing to cling to except Quinn, who apparently grabbed on to Rachel and fell right along with her. And in that moment, Rachel understood. After a life of constantly being told what to do, but also having the freedom to come and go as she pleased, Quinn was conflicted. She spent most of her life playing different characters, phantoms of herself. Nothing was real for her, not even the clandestine relationship with her co-star. It disappeared completely from Quinn's grasp, so now she needed something tangible to hold on to. She needed to feel something real in her arms. And Rachel was it. She needed Rachel to be real, so Rachel resolved then and there to always be the thing that Quinn needed to hold on to. Anything to keep her grounded. Anything to keep her from running away again.

\--

That's how it went for the rest of their winter break. Quinn would come over and reveal just a little bit more about herself like her favorite food, places to travel and favorite episodes of Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Rachel kept the questions light for the most part. She could only imagine how emotionally draining it was for Quinn to reveal so many things to her at once. After the light-hearted question and answer portion was over, they would proceed to lie on the bed the same way every night, with Quinn holding Rachel in her arms. It was their routine and neither of them questioned it.

Apparently, neither did Rachel's dads. They had asked Rachel about the blonde girl that would leave their house every night at midnight and Rachel informed them that she's a new girl in school and she's just trying to make her feel welcomed.

"Honey, that's all very nice and good, but do you ever plan on introducing her to us?" asked her dad one morning at breakfast.

"Sure. At some point. I just don't want her to feel overwhelmed."

"I'm sure she's used to feeling overwhelmed. Especially when being hounded by the paparazzi," her daddy countered.

This caught Rachel off guard. "I…uh….how did you know?"

"Oh please, honey. This is a small town. Word gets around. Besides, you've made me watch that show so many times, her face it pretty much burned on my brain. She was easy to recognize. Even if it was just the back of her head making a beeline for the door."

Rachel should have known better than to keep her celebrity…friend…a secret from her dads. She would have had better luck secretly harboring a wanted fugitive than a girl who was on the cover of multiple celebrity magazines.

\--

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

The blonde's humming response reverberated against Rachel's neck, sending shivers down her spine. She added that to the list of things she'd like to feel again.

"My dads want to meet you."

She felt Quinn's lips against her neck curl up into a smile.

"Soon. Okay?"

"Okay," replied Rachel as she turned her head to meet Quinn's eyes. It was the last day of vacation. School started up again tomorrow and Rachel wanted desperately to ask exactly how they were going to handle the school situation, but Quinn never seemed interested in discussing it.

"So…school starts again tomorrow.'

"Don't remind me," said Quinn. "I'll be counting down the days until May."

"Why's that?"

In lieu of a response, Quinn leaned in and kissed Rachel. Her lips travelled the length of Rachel's lower lip. Rachel's entire face tingled when Quinn's tongue dipped in between her lips, begging for access. Rachel opened her mouth and she was immediately steeped in euphoria the moment their tongues met. Rachel moved her entire body until she was on her back with Quinn, once again, hovering over her. Rachel's breath quivered as she pondered that ongoing question: how does Quinn Fabray do this to her?

Rachel's breath became more pronounced with every maneuver of Quinn's tongue. Quinn pulled away from her mouth and gently kissed her collarbone. Rachel felt her lips make their way down to her chest. Quinn moved the collar of her scoop-neck shirt to gain more access to the exposed skin underneath. When she reached Rachel's bra, she traced her fingers along the upper part of it. Rachel was met with pleading hazel green eyes. All she did was nod her head and Quinn immediately pulled the bra down and kissed around the top part of her breast. Rachel's head fell back and hit the pillow hard. Her fists pulled tight as Quinn's hand gently latched on to her other breast. It was too much for Rachel and, at the same time, it was not enough. She wanted everything off. Her shirt, her bra, all of Quinn's clothes. She wanted it all off. Because even though Quinn's hand felt amazing, there were simply too many layers between Quinn's fingertips and the sensitive skin beneath Rachel's bra. Stupid clothes. Why are they a thing? They're nothing but hindrances.

Quinn pulled the right side of Rachel's bra down just a little more. Rachel didn't look, but she knew. She felt her nipple harden the second the cold air hit it. She was exposed. She was shaking. She was anxious. She anticipating Quinn's next move. With her eyes closed, she felt Quinn's lips on hers once more.

"You're shaking."

Rachel nodded.

"It's okay." Quinn panted as she kissed her forehead. "I can stop."

Rachel looked at her, unsure of what to do.

"Do you want me to stop?" asked Quinn.

Rachel shook her head and choked out a simple, "No."

Quinn smiled knowingly and made her way back down to Rachel's breast. She paused only a moment before making her move. The second Rachel felt Quinn's mouth on her breast, snaking her tongue teasingly across her nipple, she arched back and covered her eyes with her hand because it was just too much. It was all too much. With her tongue, Quinn took another pass at Rachel's erect nipple and the brunette moaned and started to writhe beneath her. She felt a familiar wetness begin to pool between her trembling legs. The more aggressive Quinn's tongue got, the wetter Rachel became.

"Oh god," moaned Rachel.

"Oh god, indeed," replied Quinn as she made her way over to Rachel's other aching breast.

She tugged the bra down even further and Rachel was slowly losing her mind. The moment Quinn took the left one in her mouth, Rachel squealed with a mixture of ecstasy and longing. She felt dizzy, intoxicated. She arched her back even more when Quinn's tongue ran rampant over her nipple, flicking and sucking it in the process. Quinn's other hand came up as she took Rachel's over nipple between her fingers and moaned with delight in the process. Rachel could feel everything everywhere. Nerves shot through her entire body and it was only amplified by the fact that Quinn was taking such pleasure in touching her.

Rachel arched her chest up further into Quinn's mouth, begging for more. Quinn's mouth was her new drug and she wanted it everywhere. She felt another flick of Quinn's tongue and thought she was going to explode at the very action. If Quinn had kept going, Rachel was convinced she probably would have. But her breasts immediately felt lonely when Quinn pulled her mouth away, pulled the collar of the shirt back up and made her way back up to Rachel. The blonde held her once more and nuzzled into her neck.

"You're beautiful, Rachel."

And Rachel smiled. As riled up as she was, Quinn managed to help her heart rate get back to normal with those simple words. And with the mess of blonde hair in her face, she inhaled the lavender scent. It was the last thing she remembered before falling asleep.


	12. Your Body Inching Closer to the Edge

Quinn wasn't used to having a curfew, so she wasn't used to having to break it. But she did. Every single night. She did it just to stay a little bit longer at Rachel's. She wasn't very stealthy about sneaking back in to her own house every morning around 3am. She somehow managed to get caught by her mom about seventy percent of the time. Judy would try to scold her daughter, but Quinn always used the "You never cared before, why should you care now?" defense. It seemed to work because Judy never quite knew how to respond to it and always let her off with a stern warning.

And that's how it went in the Fabray household. Parents learning how to parent and a teenager learning how to be a teenager. There were no buffers dividing them. No scripts for Quinn to hide behind. No red carpets events to primp for. No meetings with agents and managers who would essentially be the liaisons between parents and child. Nothing to prevent them from having to force actual conversations with each other. Back in LA, if Judy and Russell didn't know their daughter's whereabouts, her agent usually knew where to find her. Here in Lima, things were different. Slower. Quiet. There was a certain way of going about things. Judy initially tried to fit in by taking up gardening, planting what she hoped would turn into award-winning roses. She wanted their neighbors to "ooh" and "aww" over her beautiful home and elegant yard. That lasted all of two weeks. She failed to consider the fact that this was the Midwest. Winter was a thing here. Snow was a thing. It was difficult for her to cultivate her dream garden when weather was actually a factor. That, plus the fact that she had never attempted to garden before, put an early end to that quest.

Quinn knew her mother was trying to lead as normal a life as possible, but it was a rather difficult task. Russell was of no help, whatsoever. A man of few words, he often answered any questions with a grunt or a few one-word sentences. Seeing as how there were still unpacked boxes in all corners of the house, Quinn had a sneaking suspicion that her parents felt just as stuck and out of place here as she did. Yup. It was pretty clear to Quinn: they were all bored. And miserable. Only now, Quinn at least had something worth getting up for in the morning…or someone.

Judy wasn't as lucky. Quinn knew her mother was struggling, but wasn't too happy about the fact that her newfound hobby was actually trying to be a good parent. Ever since they moved here, her mom would go on and on about what she learned from her childhood.

"Kids need boundaries and discipline. Especially ones who are as wild and free-spirited as you, Quinnie," Judy would constantly remind her.

Quinn knew Judy was just trying to draw on her own experience on how to raise her, but she couldn't handle the hypocrisy of it all. Her parents never really cared where she was or how late she stayed out, as long as she stayed focused enough to keep her career on track and bring home a steady paycheck. They were too busy enjoying the high life of classy parties, country clubs and all the perks that came with being the parents of Quinn Fabray.

Now that their lives were moving at a slower pace, Judy seemed to make it her goal to drive Quinn crazy. Her most recent nagging point was reminding Quinn that she wanted to "meet this Rachel girl" her daughter was spending all this time with. Quinn shuddered at the phrase. This Rachel girl. Like the brunette was less than special. Like she was common. Like she was someone to be wary of or someone who wasn't worthy of Quinn's time. There had been many moments where Quinn had wanted to use excessive force to silence her mother. This was one of those times, but she simply swallowed her anger, twitched at the thought of subjecting Rachel to her parents and forcefully smiled saying she'd try to arrange it.

\--

Now that winter break was over, Quinn and Rachel had started to settle into their school routine again. Unfortunately, that meant not as many late nights at Rachel's place, otherwise her dads would start asking too many questions and insist on officially meeting Quinn. So they had to cut their number of hours together and limit it to school, glee club and after school activities. Every day, Quinn would count down the hours until Glee club. Then, every Tuesday and Thursday she would accompany Rachel to her dance class. Wednesday evenings were reserved for Rachel's vocal training: four hours of intense singing exercises led by one of Lima's finest vocal coaches. Saturday mornings consisted of a five-mile jog followed by yoga class. These were the days Quinn dreaded most. She was grateful that Rachel had opened up and showed her the demanding schedule she kept, but jogging? Followed by yoga? It was torture for Quinn. But she did it anyway. Because it was time with Rachel. And it was worth coughing and wheezing and turning bright purple. She was embarrassingly out of shape.

Quinn was in awe. She was so amazed by Rachel's dedication and determination to reach her goal of becoming a successful Broadway star. She had never seen anyone work so hard. Quinn was just a child when she was plucked from a group of 50 kids auditioning for a PopTart commercial. From then on, she landed one role after another. Granted, she worked hard, especially as she got older, but she never really grasped how lucky she was that it came so easily to her. Most people have to work incredibly hard and devote their lives to achieving a goal like that.

One Saturday morning, Quinn was starting to see brown spots in her vision as she wheezed her way along Rachel's favorite jogging trail. The brunette was at least fifty yards ahead of her when she turned back to join Quinn.

"Are you okay?"

"Never better," gasped Quinn. Water. She needed water. And a large, comfy bed.

Rachel grinned as she looked Quinn up and down. "If you don't work out, how do you stay so skinny?"

Quinn shrugged. "Good genes?"

By this point, her legs weren't taking any more requests. Her face was a fuchsia color and after feeling she matted, sweaty hair, she knew she must have looked terrible. But there was something in the way Rachel looked at her that made her feel okay about it. She could feel her heart beating wildly as Rachel looked around and then looked back at her, leaned in and gently kissed her lips. Quinn smiled shyly.

"What was that for?"

"Some things don't need an explanation." She looped her arm through Quinn's and pulled her back in the direction they came from. "Come on. We're going to be late for yoga."

Quinn smirked to herself. Saturday workouts were rough, but it also meant it was yoga day. And on yoga day, Quinn always made it a point to sit behind Rachel in class and stare in awe of her keen flexibility. It was the highlight of her week, really. She did feel a bit creepy staring at Rachel the whole time, but didn't feel at all guilty about it. She would often spend each class leering, wanting Rachel more and more with each impressive pose she managed to form. Quinn found herself completely turned on by the sweat dripping off her skin. And it definitely helped that she had a perfect view of her ass. She made it a point to not let Rachel know about the goings on behind her. Quinn decided it was probably for the best that Rachel didn't know the countless inappropriate thoughts swarming around in her head. Most of them involved touching. And maybe a bit of nudity.

She shook her head and wondered what her fans would say if they knew all she thought about these days was having Rachel Berry naked in her bed. Not to mention the PR nightmare that would be for her team. Yes, it was best to keep all these thoughts to herself. At least for now.

\--

School seemed to fly by for Quinn these days. When she first started, she honestly thought it would never end and she would never get back to LA. But with her budding relationship – could she call it a relationship? Friendship? No, that doesn't seem accurate. Fling? Certainly not. Well, whatever it was that was going on with Rachel, it seemed to make the time go by faster. Over the next month, they started to become even closer, almost inseparable.

One Thursday afternoon, Quinn strolled down the halls thinking only of the fact that she would be accompanying Rachel to her dance class in a couple hours. They had even agreed to skip Glee in order to satisfy Quinn's ice cream craving before the class started, which was pretty much unheard of. Rachel Berry did NOT ditch Glee. Ever. Quinn felt a tinge of guilt for even suggesting it, but Rachel's eager response made her feel like maybe she was something special to Rachel. Something more important to her than singing. It was a thought that thrilled and terrified her at the same time.

She walked past the choir room and tried not to call too much attention to herself while ambling by.

"What's up, Hollyweird? You too good for Glee now?"

Apparently she failed to go unnoticed by an acerbic-tongued Latina.

"I…I just have an appointment to get to. I'll be at the next rehearsal."

Santana leaned against the doorway and looked Quinn up and down.

"So…you and Rachel seem to be pretty chummy."

Quinn shrugged.

"Whatever. I'm not jealous or anything. I kind of have my own thing going on."

"So I've heard." By now, Quinn knew all about Santana's affinity for Brittany.

"So no hard feelings? I mean…knowing that I got Rachel first?"

Quinn tried to compose herself. Laughing would give away the fact that she knew the Santana/Rachel thing was all a ruse. As badly as she wanted to put the cheerleader in her place, she decided to let her have this one.

"No hard feelings."

Santana nodded and took a step closer to Quinn. Quinn instinctively took a step back. She was well aware of Santana's Lima Heights roots and wasn't sure what to expect from her. Her body stiffened as Santana leaned in.

"I know you probably think you're hot shit..."

"I really don't," protested Quinn.

"Well, I'm just assuming that because I automatically think everyone is an asshole, so don't take offense. But I feel like this has to be said."

Quinn nodded, waiting as Santana moved in closer.

"I find Rachel Berry infuriating. Half the time I want to lick a wall socket just so I can black out and drown out the sound of her shrill voice when she's on one of her infamous rants. The other half, I envision ways of silencing her using one of her headbands and a pair of her tights. Then there's the very small percentage of times where I feel this inexplicable need to help the clueless girl. Maybe it's the fact that she reminds me of my Abuela: short, loud and mousy. And for whatever reason, you seem to like the walking Dungeons and Dragons troll. And that's great. So I'm just going to make this short and sweet. You realize that I'm giving you the 'break her heart and I'll break your face' speech right? Or do you need me to actually be clear and say it?"

Quinn had never really felt threatened by anyone before. She had never feared for her life for any reason. Not even when she received questionable fan mail from potential stalkers in the past, but there was something about Santana's voice that instilled a good amount of fear inside of her. She nodded.

"I understand."

Santana stepped back and smiled sweetly. "That's what I like to hear. And don't let her miss another Glee rehearsal. The earth might spin off its axis or something."

Quinn nodded again.

"And Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

Santana paused for a moment. "Just…don't be a dick. I don't fully trust you. And for once, I'd like to be proven wrong about something."

Quinn nodded once more. "You are wrong."

"I hope so."

\--

Quinn could tell that today's dance class was particularly grueling for all involved. She was glad she was a mere spectator, admiring Rachel's moves from the corner of the studio. Once the class was over and everyone cleared out, Rachel stayed behind to do some stretching. Quinn knew it was really for her benefit. Rachel Berry knew exactly what she was doing.

Quinn stood up and approached the dancing diva.

"Enjoying the view?"

Quinn looked over to the mirrored wall to check out her favorite asset of Rachel's.

"Not bad."

Rachel playfully nudged her. "You ready to go?"

"In a minute. I have a question for you."

"And what's that?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "Would you be okay with me subjecting you to an hour of torture will likely lead to regret and painful memories?"

Rachel looked at her suspiciously.

"My mom wants you to come to dinner. She hasn't gone a day without asking me and I really need her to stop. For my sanity and for her safety."

"Is that so?" Rachel grabbed a towel from her bag and dabbed her face with it. "I seem to remember tell you my dads want to meet you. That hasn't happened yet."

Quinn gave her a sheepish look. "Tradsies? Dinner with my parents for dinner with your parents."

"Deal." Rachel stuck her hand out and they shook on it.

Quinn didn't let go, though. She pulled Rachel in closer – close enough to feel the heat radiating off her glistening skin.

"You looked great up there today. Impressive moves."

"I still need a lot of work. I don't quite give off that 'Wow' factor like you do."

"Like I do?" asked Quinn.

"Yeah. Everybody loves you. The camera loves you. Casting directors obviously love you. You're being labeled the new 'It Girl.'"

Quinn had read a few things here and there about that. She would tend to ignore it, but secretly found it exciting. Her career was only getting bigger. But for some reason, hearing the words come out of Rachel's mouth made it feel cheap and shallow. Probably because Rachel was anything but cheap and shallow. Yet here she was, in awe of Quinn's fame. Perhaps envious. It made her feel sick to her stomach. Quinn didn't want Rachel to view her that way.

She moved in closer and placed her hand on the small of Rachel's back, pulling her in.

"Rachel? I need you to stop talking."

"I can do that."

She was mesmerized by the brown eyes staring up at her in silence. Something about how quickly Rachel obeyed her triggered something within Quinn. It felt good. It gave her a sense of control. She leaned down and kissed Rachel. Their lips immediate fought for control of the kiss. Quinn's won. She ran her tongue along Rachel's smooth lower lip, then pushed past her lips, hungrily greeting the brunette's tongue.

Rachel moaned deeply. Their heavy panting echoed through the studio. Quinn moved her other hand up to cradle the back of Rachel's neck. She craved more contact. Without breaking the kiss, she pushed Rachel back until they collided into the mirror with a thud. The kiss only intensified as Quinn pushed herself up against Rachel, using the mirror as leverage. It felt incredible. Nearly every inch of her was in some way touching nearly every inch of Rachel. She moved her lips down to Rachel's neck and shoulder, tasting the salty sweat emanating from her skin. Quinn locked eyes with herself in the mirror. There was something so intense about watching herself caressing and tasting Rachel. It instantly turned her on. She needed to see more.

She placed one more gentle kiss on Rachel's lips, then slowly turned her around so Rachel was facing the mirror. Her hands pressed up against the mirror, shoulder length apart. Quinn waited for an objection from the shorter girl, but none came. She noticed a sizable smudge on the mirror from where Rachel's back was against it. Hopefully whoever cleans it will understand the urgency of her situation. It's simply beyond her control. From behind Rachel, Quinn moved her hands up the brunette's torso. She could feel her skin starting to cool from a mixture of the dried sweat and the air conditioning that just kicked in. Quinn's hips pushed into Rachel's backside, closing the gap between Rachel and the mirror. Quinn watched as the mirror became fogged up from Rachel's breath.

She thrust her hips into Rachel as her hands worked their way up under Rachel's shirt, stopping short of her sports bra. She played with the hem for a minute, then ran her fingers along Rachel's left breast, grazing her nipple. Rachel gasped and jerked. Quinn repeated the action one more time. Rachel gasped and jerked once more.

With her face against the mirror, Rachel barely managed to choke out one word. "Again."

Quinn smiled and granted the request. She felt Rachel's entire body shudder. Quinn moved her hand back down to the hem of her sports bra once more and began kissing the back of her neck in the process. Rachel arched into the kiss and closed her eyes while biting her lip. Quinn watched the entire process unfold in the reflection. Rachel's face looked nearly orgasmic. It was unlike anything Quinn had scene. She continued running her tongue along Rachel's salty neck as she watched her own hands fumble around under Rachel's shirt. She felt her own center throbbing as she began to lift up Rachel's binding sports bra, resting above her now freed breast. She watched Rachel's face, looking for any signs of wanting to stop. There were none.

Quinn moved her hands back to Rachel's toned abdomen and lingered there for a while. She wished she could see what was going on under that shirt, but her tactile senses would have to do for now. Her fingers ran up and down Rachel's firm stomach muscles. She could feel the other girl squirming at her touch. Quinn pressed up closer against her, pushing her further against the mirror. She continued to tease her fingers along Rachel's stomach until she heard an undecipherable sound coming from the other girl.

"What was that?" asked Quinn.

"I said 'please,'" panted Rachel.

"Please what?"

"You know what."

"Please stop?" teased Quinn.

Rachel emphatically shook her head no.

"Please."

Quinn reached her left hand up to Rachel's lips to silence her, then replaced her finger with her own lips. She moved her hand back under Rachel's shirt and moved both her hands up her torso. This time, she kept going. The anticipation was killing her, probably more than it was killing Rachel. She exhaled the moment her hands reached Rachel's perfectly formed breasts. Trying her best to keep composed, she circled her fingers over and round Rachel's hardened nipples, indulging in their perfection. The moment her fingers came into contact, Rachel's hips jolted, pushing ass up against Quinn. It sent a shock through the blonde's core. Her stomach seized and she could feel her clit start to throb as her hands cupped Rachel's breasts.

The throbbing continued as Rachel's moans grew louder. Quinn could feel herself getting wet with each passing moment. She continued kissing Rachel as her eyes kept watching them in the mirror. Never had she experienced anything like this before. She needed more. Her right gradually moved down toward the waistband of Rachel's tights. Her fingers tentatively dipped in and stroked the skin on Rachel's hips. She felt Rachel's breathing become heavier as their tongues continued to meld as one. Quinn hesitated for a moment and was shocked when she suddenly felt Rachel's hand on top of hers, slowly guiding it to where she wanted to be touched.

Quinn's breath hitched at the thought of what was about to happen.

"Touch me," whispered Rachel.

And that was all Quinn needed. She allowed Rachel to guide her hand. She couldn't believe what was about to happen. And just as she reached her destination, she heard voices outside the door.

They instantaneously pulled away from each other, both trying to catch their breath.

Rachel shook her head. "I forgot. Every other Thursday, they have an 8 o'clock class. I'm so sorry."

Quinn was still in a daze when the door opened and dancers filtered in for the next class. No one seemed to have caught them in action seeing as how none of them were paying the slightest bit of attention to them.

Quinn smiled and looked at Rachel.

"So…dinner at my place next Friday?"

\--

The sound of silverware clinking against the plates was the only thing that kept the dinner table from being completely silent. Quinn sat nervously looking back and forth between her mom, her dad and Rachel. Judy was on her third glass of Pinot Grigio and Russell was concentrating on his undercooked potato. Quinn couldn't help but feel embarrassed. Judy had insisted on cooking. It was another one of her "let's be normal" whims that never turned out well. She had attempted to cook a few times before and they all turned out to be disastrous. Quinn had warned Rachel that they were not used to doing her own cooking and apologized in advance, but that still didn't save her from total embarrassment.

She watched Rachel carefully eat around the slab of meat on her plate.

"So…Rachel."

Quinn cringed at the sound of her mom emphasizing Rachel's name.

"You don't like your food?"

"Mom, no one likes the food," replied Quinn.

"No," Rachel intervened. "It's fine. I just…I'm assuming Quinn didn't tell you. I'm a vegan."

"Oh, I told her," muttered Quinn.

"I'm sorry. I must have forgotten." Judy took another sip of wine. "I do recall Quinn saying something about that, but I figured it was a phase. Quinnie was vegan for a little while, weren't you, honey?"

"I missed bacon." Quinn pushed the inedible food around on her plate.

"It's okay," assured Rachel. "I don't expect anyone to tailor to my dietary quirks. The rest of it is very good. Thank you so much for cooking."

Quinn smirked. Rachel Berry was definitely a natural. No acting classes needed.

"Someone pass the salt."

It was the first time Quinn heard her father's voice since dinner started. She handed the salt shaker over to him and watched as he coated his potato with it while muttering something unintelligible under his breath. God, could her parents be more embarrassing?

"So Rachel, do you have a boyfriend?"

The answer is yes. Yes they can be more embarrassing. Quinn sighed heavily and shook her head. And so it begins.

"Um…no. Not at the moment."

"You're such a pretty girl. Beautiful features. And look at that mouth."

For once, Quinn obeyed her mother and fondly gazed upon the brunette's mouth. Indeed, it was quite remarkable.

"It's hard to believe you don't have a boyfriend," Judy continued.

"Mom!" Quinn knew where this was going.

"I was dating someone for a while last year. It didn't work out. He…" Rachel locked eyes with Quinn from across the table. "He just wasn't who I was meant to be with, I guess."

Judy wiped her mouth with a napkin. "Well, that's a shame. Perhaps Quinn can help set you up with someone. Maybe Finn has a friend or something. Honey, you should really bring Finn around. He seems like such a nice boy."

Quinn felt a piece of her steak get lodged in her throat as the sound of Finn's name. She immediately started coughing and reached for her water. Her eyes watered as the coughing fit continued.

"Quinnie, are you okay?"

Quinn waved her mother away. "I'm fine. I'm fine. Just…went down the wrong way." She looked up at Rachel, who was bright red at this moment. They both shared a secret smile.

"That sounds like a good idea, Quinn," replied Rachel. "Maybe Finn has someone on the football team who would like to take me out."

She was being facetious. It was obvious. And Quinn loved her for it. Well, not loved her, but…you know…whatever.

"Actually, Mrs. Fabray, I'm not sure I'm really 'football player' material."

"Why do you say that?"

Quinn froze. Where exactly was Rachel going with this?

"Well, I'm not the most popular girl in school. Besides, my extracurricular activities don't leave me much time for boys."

But they leave her plenty of time for girls, thought Quinn, who tried to bury her smile by forcing down what she could only assume was a green bean.

"Well, Quinn was always very popular with the boys back in LA. Do you know that one of those boys from Gossip Girl kept sending her roses and asking her out? What was his name, Quinnie?"

Quinn closed her eyes and prayed that this dinner would end. Judy was really laying it on extra thick. "Mom, that was over a year ago. And he was too old for me."

"Well, he was a cutie nonetheless. But Rachel, let me tell you, we are so glad that Quinn has found a regular guy to date. These actors can be slick, you know? They can lead you on and make you think you feel something that you really don't feel."

"Okay, mom. That's enough. Rachel really doesn't want to hear about all that." Quinn watched Rachel for any reaction to Judy's thinly-veiled warning. But Rachel never faltered.

"Well, it must be nice to get away from all that for a while." She pulled the napkin from her lap and placed it on the table next to her plate. "That was delicious. I'm stuffed."

She got up to grab her plate.

"Oh, no. Don't worry about that, sweetie. I'll get it," insisted Judy.

Quinn grabbed her phone and punched out a quick text as Judy got up to clear the table.

Want to sneak out and grab a pizza? I'm sure we can find something dairy-free.

She waited patiently until her phone buzzed and she read Rachel's response.

God, yes! I'm starved. I know just the place.

Quinn smiled and began typing again.

Congratulations. You survived. Now you see why I don't bring anyone around here.

She watched Rachel's face as she read the incoming text, then eagerly awaited her response.

It was worth it to watch you squirm. You seem wound pretty tight.

Quinn laughed and leaned across the table. "Now you see where I get it from."

Rachel smiled flirtatiously. "Well, maybe we can find a way to remedy that."


	13. No Limits, Just Epiphanies

It was safe to say that Quinn meeting Rachel's dads went over a lot smoother than Rachel's dinner with Quinn's parents. Leroy and Hiram were nothing but courteous and they made Quinn feel right at home. Things only got slightly awkward with Leroy grilled Quinn about life as a celebrity. His addiction to shows like Access Hollywood and Entertainment Tonight made it impossible for him to not bring up her acting, even though Rachel made him promise he wouldn't. But Quinn handled it like the pro she was. And once the awkward part was over, they talked about politics, musicals and how talented Rachel was. Rachel found herself sinking further into the couch as Quinn and her dads went on and on about Rachel's singing and dancing. Rachel was never really one to shy away from compliments, but her fathers had a tendency to dote on her way too much. And Quinn? Well, she was talented and beautiful and Rachel had no idea how someone that amazing could be gushing over her. She was just a girl from Lima with a dream. A dream that Quinn was living. And, while she was in no way jealous of Quinn's success, she couldn't help but wonder if she would find success of her own on Broadway. It felt surreal to her that Quinn Fabray was in her living room listing everything that made Rachel special.

After the initial visit, Rachel was surprised by Quinn's willingness to come over more often when her dads were there. They always knew how to be the perfect hosts, but she thought Quinn would find their hospitality a little overbearing. It was just the opposite. Every day, Quinn would ask Rachel how Hiram and Leroy were doing and whether or not they had read that book she recommended or watched that movie she was telling them about. Rachel started to wonder if they were all meeting in secret without her. She also began to wonder when it would be an appropriate time to tell her dads that Quinn isn't exactly just her friend. Of course, that was something to discuss later. With Quinn. They closer she and they became, the more terrified Rachel felt. Because she knew they would eventually have to have a conversation about them. About what it all meant and who they were to each other and who they could tell and who they couldn't. Rachel knew discretion was of the utmost importance. She knew it when she took Quinn's had the other day as they were walking out of the choir room after glee and Quinn flinched and pulled away. They hadn't discussed it, but Rachel knew. And she decided she was okay with it. Whose business was it, anyway? Just hers and Quinn's. And Santana's. And Brittany's. Oh God. She could only hope those two would know enough to keep their mouths shut about the whole situation.

Between this very fun, yet very confusing, relationship with Quinn, her dads prattling on about Quinn, and Santana and Brittany's knowledge of…well…everything, Rachel's head was a mess. Not to mention her ever-growing, aching desire for Quinn that has enveloped her entire being. That was also something that was not only messing with her head, but her whole body, as well. But she couldn't think about that now. She just couldn't. Because it was too much. Quinn and her lips and her neck and her perfect, soft skin. It was all too much.

When Rachel stepped outside her front door, a brisk chill hit her face. She buttoned up her coat and found herself longing for summer. It was early March and still way too cold and she missed the feeling of her fingers. She hopped in her dads' Audi and pulled out of the driveway. If she went left, it would take her to Quinn's place. They could spend the evening talking and laughing and cuddling. It sounded perfect to Rachel. But instead, she went right. She needed some peace of mind. She needed her Yoda.

It was a Wednesday night and she knew that meant Santana would be at Brittany's house because Brittany's parents were in Columbus until Saturday. By the time Rachel walked up to the door, she no longer felt cold. In fact, she was sweating a bit. Probably from over-thinking everything, like she usually does. She knocked loudly, but there was no answer. She stepped back and looked up to see the light in Brittany's room shining brightly from her second-story room. She was obviously home. Rachel knocked again, even louder this time. Then, she heard giggling coming from Brittany's bedroom and jumped as she heard a voice come over the intercom.

"If you're the pizza guy, come in and leave the pizza on the table in the foyer." It was Santana's voice. "There's a $20 on the table. Keep the change."

Rachel thought that was rather trusting and kind of stupid on Santana's part to just let some stranger enter the house like that.

"Oh, and we have mace and a gun if you try anything sleazy," warned Santana. Her voice was breaking up through the intercom.

Rachel scoffed and shook her head. No, she wasn't the pizza guy, but she needed to talk to them. And if they weren't gonna come down to her, she was gonna go to them. She opened the door and looked around inside. Sure enough, there was a twenty on the table in front of her.

"Hello?"

No response.

"Brittany? Santana? It's Rachel!"

Still no response.

She placed her coat on the Pierce's floral couch and headed up the stairs.

"I'm coming up!"

It did cross Rachel's mind that there was a good chance she may be interrupting something, but really, has that ever stopped her before?

When she approached Brittany's bedroom door, she leaned in to see if any sounds they made were any indication as to what they were doing. She heard nothing. Maybe it was just a make-out session she would be interrupting. No harm in that, right?

She knocked on the door to make her presence known, then slowly opened it. At first, all she could see was Brittany's dresser. Then the foot of her bed. And then the entire bed, which was occupied by two naked bodies. Santana was on top of Brittany, both girls too busy grinding and moaning to even notice a mortified Rachel.

She stepped away from the door and closed it quickly. Unfortunately, it was also a little too loudly. She buried her head in her hands as she heard a loud thud coming from the bedroom. Then came what sounded like a lamp breaking.

"What the fuck?" yelled Santana.

"Shhh…what was that?" asked Brittany.

"Stay there," said Santana. "Maybe it's just the pizza guy downstairs."

Rachel was too embarrassed and too much in shock to make a decision. Should she stay or should she run like hell? She wanted to run, but her body wouldn't move. Maybe if she stood really, really still, no one would notice her standing out in the hallway. Maybe Santana was like a t-rex and couldn't see motionless objects.

She felt a gust of wind when the door opened and Santana stood there with a sheet covering her most intimate parts. Rachel finally felt brave enough to show herself.

"Jesus fucking Christ, Berry! What are you doing here?" Santana was enraged. She flipped her tousled hair as she tugged at her sheet.

"I…I…my god, I'm so sorry. I just needed to talk to you." Rachel felt her entire face turn flaming red.

"So you broke into Brittany's house to watch us have sex? Were you gonna go over the play-by-play with us? Tell us what needs improvement? What the hell, Berry?"

"No…I…"

"What? What was so important that you couldn't wait until tomorrow to talk to me about? Have you even heard of a phone?"

Rachel was speechless. Santana's angry eyes felt like they were burning holes right through Rachel's skin. The Cheerio looked her up and down.

"Does Snow White even know you left the cottage?" asked Santana.

That's when Rachel knew. She had crossed a line. It had been a while since Santana made any kind of dwarf reference in regards to Rachel. She must have really pissed her off this time.

"What? Did you suddenly forget what was so important to tell me?" Santana wasn't letting up.

Rachel could feel the tears forming behind her eyes. It was only a matter of time before she ran down the stairs crying, which was the last thing she wanted to do in front of Santana.

"Hi Rachel!"

Rachel looked up to see a beaming Brittany appear in the doorway. She could almost swear the light in her room gave off the essence of a halo over Brittany's head. Her guardian angel. There to protect her from all things Lopez.

"Hi Brittany."

"What are you doing here?"

"I…I came to talk to you. Both of you."

Brittany's smile curtailed Santana's scowl as she bounded toward Rachel and took her by the hand.

"Well, come in! Tell us what you need." She jumped on the bed, also wearing nothing but a sheet.

Santana rolled her eyes and followed them in. Rachel nervously stayed close to the doorway. Obviously, she had killed the mood.

Brittany excitedly wiggled her legs over the edge of the bed.

"Did you happen to see the pizza guy when you were outside? I'm hungry."

"No, sorry."

Santana sat on the bed next to Brittany and rubbed her back.

"We'll get you some food soon, Britt Britt. We may have expended too much energy." She glared at Rachel. "Well, you're here now. What do you want?"

"I'm so sorry, guys." Rachel leaned against the door. "I just didn't know who else to talk to." Rachel looked over at the night stand and sure enough, there was a broken lamp on the floor. "I'll buy you a new lamp."

Brittany smiled. "It wasn't the first time that's happened. Won't be the last. Lord Tubbington has a tendency to knock over lamps. I'll just blame this one on him. My parents won't know the difference."

Santana heaved a sigh and leaned back on the bed, a little too seductively for Rachel's comfort. "So what's the big problem, Berry? Having trouble satisfying the movie star?"

Rachel blushed. Perhaps that advice would come at a later date, but right now she needed to focus. "No…I…I just panicked. I mean, I know I can trust you. Both of you. But I wanted to make sure that you haven't told anyone about me and Quinn. And that you won't tell anyone. Ever."

Brittany emphatically shook her head and raised her right hand. "I haven't. And I won't. I swear."

Santana studied Rachel for a moment, briefly giving the young diva a mild coronary in the process. Why was she taking so long to answer?

"You really care about her that much? You'd run around in secret, hiding your feelings for each other just because she's afraid?"

Rachel shook her head. "It's really not like that. She hasn't said anything to me about that. I just wanted to make sure I covered all my bases. I know she's not exactly ready to tell people. And I know if we were to ever reveal anything, she'd want it to be on her own terms. Not something that's churned through the rumor mill."

Santana stood up and adjusted the sheet around her body accordingly. She approached Rachel slowly and took her hand.

"Rachel, I swear to you I have never and will never reveal the details of your relationship with Quinn to anyone. You have my word."

Rachel smiled, a wave of relief washing over her. "Thank you."

"But I still don't understand why this couldn't have been relayed over the phone. I mean really, Berry, are you that neurotic?"

Rachel arched an eyebrow at Santana. "Have you met me?"

"Point taken."

"Thanks for taking my manic episodes in stride. You're a good friend. Both of you are."

Santana backed away. "Yeah, well…give me a twenty. You're paying for our pizza."

Rachel chuckled. "I'll put it on the table downstairs. I'll leave you two to…finish…or whatever." She closed the door and headed downstairs.

"By the way, you saw nothing!" yelled Santana.

Rachel wondered if Santana was just as embarrassed as she was.

Rachel didn't tell Quinn about her visit with Brittany and Santana. She figured Quinn should be the one to bring up anything regarding exactly how clandestine their relationship should be. She just wanted to enjoy the weekend with her. They didn't really have anything planned. They never did. Most of the time, they would just end up lying on the floor in Rachel's room for hours. Talking or not talking. Or watching some of Rachel's favorite old musicals. Or some of Quinn's favorite Katharine Hepburn movies. They would throw popcorn at each other and laugh until Rachel's dads would tell them to "keep it down. The old men are trying to sleep." Today, however, they opted for the local movie theater. There wasn't a lot to do in a town like Lima. It was either a movie or bowling. And Rachel somehow always managed to get her thumb stuck in the bowling ball. She was just that talented. A movie was safe and would no doubt save her some embarrassment.

They sat towards the back of the theater in an empty row. Every time someone walked in, Rachel willed them to sit in a different row. So far, it had worked. She wasn't about to sit next to Quinn for two hours and not be able to touch her.

She sat nervously with her hands gripping the popcorn bucket on her lap as Quinn gnawed on some Red Vines. She fidgeted, trying to make herself comfortable and doing her best to not stare at Quinn the entire time. She grabbed a few pieces of popcorn, but was suddenly too nervous to eat. Why did she opt for the large? She felt the grease from the oil on her fingertips and wiped it on her jeans. Through her peripheral vision, she noticed Quinn looking at her.

The blonde reached over, took the popcorn and put it on the seat next to her.

"Are you nervous, Rachel?"

How was Quinn so perceptive?

"No. Why would I be nervous?" Rachel shrugged it off, but felt her insides melting when Quinn flashed her a smile.

"No reason." Quinn looked around for a moment and gave Rachel a swift, but sweet, kiss.

All Rachel could taste was Red Vines. All she could smell was the lavender and cedar scent from Quinn's shampoo. And all she could see was Quinn's silhouette once the lights went down and the screen lit up. Rachel's pulse quickened when she felt a hand reach for hers under the armrest. She took in the moment, indulging in every stroke of Quinn's thumb in the palm of her hand. She could tell Quinn was smiling, obviously enjoying the moment herself. Sure, they weren't making out, but something about Quinn's touch felt so sensual.

Then, something felt off. Quinn's grip tightened around her fingers. When Rachel looked at the screen, she was taken aback by what she saw. A twenty-foot tall Quinn Fabray staring right at her. It was by far the most surreal moment of Rachel's life. Her mouth fell open as she watched Quinn in a skin tight outfit that strategically hugged every part of her perfect body. The scenes flashed faster and faster. The music swelled and each scene showed a different shot of Quinn - or rather Quinn's character. Rachel was completely intrigued by what was unfolding on the screen in front of her.

"This summer, Emily Stark learns that the only way to prove her innocence is by breaking all the rules."

The trailer's voiceover led to a scene of Quinn hanging off the side of a tall building, and then letting go. Rachel gasped as the screen went black and flashed the title Ten Stories Down. And then the trailer ended. Rachel had no idea how it happened or why, but for some reason, she was completely turned on by what she just saw. She was almost ready to pounce on the girl until she noticed that Quinn wasn't smiling. She wasn't really doing much of anything except looking down and clumsily digging for another Red Vine. She loosened the grip on Rachel's hand.

"Are you okay?" whispered Rachel.

Quinn shrugged. "I'm sorry. I just had no idea they were already showing the trailer."

"It looked good! You should be proud," assured Rachel. "I can't wait to see it. When is it coming out?"

Quinn pursed her lips and looked at Rachel pleadingly. "Can we go? Suddenly, I'm not feeling too well."

Rachel nodded, slightly disappointed. "Of course."

Obviously Quinn was a little shaken up by seeing herself on screen. Rachel figured she was probably used to it, but perhaps not.

They made it out to the exit just as Rachel realized she had left the entire bucket of popcorn back in the theater. There was $10 well wasted. She grabbed Quinn's hand and before she could even suggest going back to get it, they were swarmed by flashing lights. A group of at least twenty people rushed towards them, almost appearing out of nowhere. Rachel felt Quinn jerk her hand away – a perfectly understandable reaction when someone jumps out and scares you half to death. As camera's flashed in their faces, Quinn was being bombarded with questions. Rachel stood there completely stunned, looking to Quinn for guidance.

"Quinn! Who's your friend? You two have been spotted together a lot lately!"

"Quinn! We know you're not filming a movie out here, so why are you here?"

"I'm just here to relax and visit with some friends," responded Quinn, who calmly started guiding Rachel to the parking lot. She leaned over and whispered, "You don't have to say anything. It's best if you don't."

"Quinn! When will you be starting your promotional tour for your next movie?"

Promotional tour? The words echoed through Rachel's head. She didn't think about Quinn going on a promotional tour. Before she could do the typical "girl" thing and dissect those words into every possible meaning they could have, the pain she felt from someone stepping on her foot snapped her out of it.

They tried to make their way to Quinn's car as the flashes increased. A crowd started to gather to see what all the commotion was about.

"How did they find you?" asked Rachel, trying to ward off some guy who kept shoving his camera in her face. Quinn maneuvered her way around the other side of Rachel to shield her from him.

"It just starts with one. News travels fast. They're like vultures!" She said that last bit loudly on purpose. "They multiply and they hang out and just wait. This is their job. They are professional assholes. Get the shot at all costs. And bonus points if you can get a rise out of me and capture it on film."

"Quinn! Are the rumors true?"

They were relentless.

"Is it true you had a meltdown after a breakup?"

At that point, Rachel was ready to punch someone in the face, but she realized Quinn was right. That's just what they would want. Still, while Quinn kept her poise and remained calm, Rachel was riled up and ready to fight. She may be small, but she was scrappy. And she wouldn't hesitate to pull some hair or use her nails to gouge the next person who threw out an insulting question to Quinn.

"I'm just here on a little vacation," assured Quinn. It was all she would give them. When they finally got into the car, Quinn carefully tried to move her way around the growing crowd. Rachel was blinded by the flashes and had no idea how Quinn was able to navigate where she was going.

Once they were clear, Quinn sped up and raced down the street. Rachel gripped her seat. She knew Quinn was just trying to make sure no one would follow them, but going 80 in a 40 zone wasn't the safest idea.

Once she had made a few left and right turns, Quinn slowed the car down.

"I don't even know where I am."

Rachel looked out the window and immediately recognized the area. "Oh, turn right here."

Quinn followed her instructions and they pulled to the side of the road next to a park.

"This is where my dads used to take me when I was little." Rachel pointed. "That little path over there is where I first learned to ride a bike. And over there, they would push me on the swings. And-"

"Rachel?"

She looked back at Quinn who was grinning at her.

"What?"

"Are you okay? You're talking really fast."

Rachel chuckled. "Sorry. Adrenaline."

Quinn nodded, took off her seatbelt and inched her way closer to the passenger seat. "Yeah. Being chased by a mob with expensive camera equipment will do that to you. Especially if you're a first-timer."

Rachel took a moment to try and catch her breath. The fact that Quinn was now running her finger along her forearm was not helping.

"What are you doing?" Rachel couldn't help but grin.

"Trying to calm you down."

"It's having the opposite effect."

Quinn gave Rachel a side smile. "We can always try something else."

Rachel was pretty sure Quinn was trying to kill her. Or perhaps just overload and over-stimulate her brain and her body. Because with one look of that come-hither stare, Rachel was a goner. She forgot all about the childhood memories that took place here and was ready to create some new adult memories. Very fun adult memories. At this point, her body worked faster then her brain and she lunged at Quinn. Unfortunately, she had forgotten her seatbelt was on and was stopped dead in her tracks from the stupid, life-saving apparatus. She barely got two inches from Quinn's lips before the seatbelt jolted her back, leaving a welt on her neck and chest.

"Damn it!" Rachel released herself from the inanimate moment-killer and immediately attached herself to Quinn's lips. Perhaps it wasn't the smartest idea making out in a public area knowing the paparazzi was out there somewhere, but there was no one around and the urgency between them far outweighed the potential consequences. Rachel was fired up. It was getting to the point where she couldn't tell whose lips were whose anymore. She could swear she saw fireworks, but most likely she was just seeing spots from the earlier camera flashes.

There was something to be said about making out in a car in at night in the middle of a park. It was the stuff of teenage romantic movies, but for some reason, this was not quite living up to the dream. Rachel tried reaching over to touch Quinn's thigh, but the position of the seat was making that difficult. She tried reaching for her chest this time, but as she was adjusting the way she was sitting, she ended up hitting her knee on the center console.

"Ouch!"

"Are you okay?" Quinn's voice was lined with laughter.

"Yeah." Rachel rubbed her knee and winced. "Your car doesn't want me to touch you."

Quinn rubbed the steering wheel. "She can be a bit of a jealous bitch sometimes."

Rachel massaged the welt on her neck and the bump on her knee. "Maybe we should just call it a night. Rain check on the movie? We can watch one at my place next weekend."

Quinn leaned over and put her head on Rachel's shoulder. "That sounds nice. A lot more peaceful and less drama-filled."

Quinn's hair was tickling Rachel's cheek. She closed her eyes and nuzzled her, feeling the downy soft hair against her skin. It was perfect. Just like Quinn.

After the paparazzi debacle from the week before, the girls were quite content with having one of their movie nights at Rachel's house. They welcomed the opportunity to just relax and not worry so much about who was around. It was Quinn's turn to choose the movie. She chose Holiday – her favorite Hepburn/Grant venture. They were on the floor of Rachel's room with Rachel lying on her back and Quinn on her stomach with her legs up and crossed at the ankles. Her eyes were focused on the TV as she absentmindedly grabbed for the popcorn in front of her. Rachel watched as the black and white glow of the TV set silhouetted the strands of Quinn's soft, blonde hair. This was her favorite look of Quinn's. Hair slightly disheveled, wearing her comfortable sweats that hugged her ass so perfectly and a ribbed tank top. She looked perfect. Flawless, as always. She reached out and ran her nails over the nape of Quinn's neck. This elicited a shudder from the other girl, who looked back at her and grinned.

"Another."

Rachel smiled and obliged, running her nails over the nape of her neck again and again. Quinn leaned into it in a cat-like manner.

"Purrrrrrrrrr."

"You're actually saying purr?" asked Rachel.

"I can't roll my r's. So I have to rely on the onomatopoeic sound of the word 'purr.' Don't judge me. We all have our gaps. That's one of mine."

Rachel nodded.

"Isn't there anything you can't do?" asked Quinn.

"I'm Rachel Berry. So the answer is no. No, there is nothing I can't do."

With a defiant look on her face, Quinn crawled over to Rachel. "Oh yeah? I bet I can think of something you can't do."

Rachel smiled smugly. "Try me."

Quinn hovered over Rachel, her dangling hair tickling Rachel's forehead. Rachel watched as Quinn bit her lip and ran her eyes over every inch of her face. Rachel's breath quickened as Quinn lowered her lips just over Rachel's and lingered there. Rachel took this as an invitation and raised her neck up to meet her the rest of the way. But instead of capturing Quinn's lips, the blonde pulled away and shoved a handful of popcorn in Rachel's mouth. Rachel nearly choked as she sat up and spit most of it out. She started coughing and her eyes teared up.

"What the hell, Quinn?"

Quinn shrugged and looked victorious. "That's one thing you can't do, Miss Rachel Berry. You can't resist me." Quinn went back to her spot and continued watching the movie without giving Rachel a second look.

Rachel was never one to give up without having the last word, but she was actually speechless this time. She really hated that. Not to mention the salty taste of popcorn on her lips. She took a drink of her pineapple-mango juice to alleviate the damage.

"You think you're so smart, don't you?" asked Rachel.

"Wow…like five minutes later. Nice retort." Quinn didn't even look away from the TV. Rachel sat there behind the blonde, trying to plot some sort of revenge. It would have to be sneaky and it would have to be epic, but nothing was coming to her.

"Rachel, just admit your defeat and come watch the movie with me."

"How is it that you know exactly what I'm thinking?"

"I've taken some time to study you."

Rachel crawled over to Quinn. "And what's your favorite subject?"

"Oh God. Are you trying to flirt with me?"

"Maybe. Just answer the question." Rachel ran her fingertips along Quinn's arm.

Quinn grabbed Rachel's wrist. "Math."

"Math?"

"Yeah," replied Quinn as she rolled Rachel over on her back and got on top of her. She grabbed her other wrist while doing so and pinned her down to the floor. "I like to count how many times I can kiss you until I make you moan. And then multiply that by how far you'd let me go before you say stop."

And with that, Rachel Berry had been defeated. She had no comeback. No witty reply. All she could muster was a small whimper. Because Quinn was on top of her, looking down at her. Smiling at her. Controlling her. Tightening her hands around her wrists as she brought her lips down to meet Rachel's.

Rachel tilted her head up to meet Quinn's mouth as Katharine and Cary performed a gravity defying tumbling act. And that's the last thing she remembered about the film. Because after that, her entire focus was on Quinn. It took four minutes until Rachel moaned into Quinn's mouth. And she couldn't help but wonder exactly how long it would take until she said stop. Based on the aching between her legs, her guess was never. She would never say stop.


	14. Sharing Different Heartbeats in One Night

At some point, the movie had ended and the TV screen turned blue after the credits ran. Rachel had no idea exactly when that happened. She was too busy indulging in the feeling of Quinn's lips on her neck. It wasn't until Quinn pulled away and said, "Rachel, look at me," did she open her eyes to see Quinn's blue-tinted face staring down at her.

Rachel's wrists were up over her head with Quinn's hands tightly grasping them. And even though there were so many things she wanted to touch, Rachel didn't dare try to move. The last time she tried, Quinn tightened her grip and bit harder on her neck. Rachel found it both painful and erotic. Quinn certainly had a way of controlling the situation. And Rachel was all too ready to comply.

A sweet smile crept upon Quinn's face. "Should we put on another movie?"

Rachel shook her head no.

"Should we go to sleep?"

Again, Rachel responded by emphatically shaking her head no.

Quinn finally loosened her grip on Rachel's wrists and continued to hover over her.

"Well then…what do you want to do?"

It took half a second for Quinn to get her answer. The moment Rachel's hands were free, she reached up to Quinn's neck and pulled her down into another kiss. She loved the feeling of the blonde's weight on her own body, especially while wearing such delicate layers. Rachel was only in her pajama shorts and a RENT t-shirt. And Quinn's sweats were relatively thin. Unlike Rachel, however, she was very obviously wearing a bra under her tank top. A fact that both disappointed and titillated Rachel.

Rachel ran her hand through Quinn's messy blonde hair and brought the other one down to grasp the side of her shirt, wrinkling it in the process. But she didn't care. It took all her strength to not rip it off of her, but Quinn seemed to be the one setting the pace here. And Rachel didn't want to overstep her bounds. She gripped the girl's blonde locks as Quinn's well-informed tongue plunged in and out of her mouth, exploring every inch of Rachel's lips and mouth. Rachel let go of the cotton material of Quinn's shirt and hesitantly moved her hand down, exploring the small of her back and pulling her even closer. Her hand lingered just at the waistband of Quinn's sweats, waiting for any sign of an invitation. Patiently, she waited. It was as if Quinn knew she was slowly killing her with each passing second.

Rachel tried to elicit a response, so she moved her lips, trailing along Quinn's left cheek to her ear. She gradually dipped her tongue into Quinn's ear and felt a shock as a throaty moan escaped the blonde's mouth.

"Ca…can I…" Rachel didn't even know how to finish her question, but Quinn seemed to understand what she wanted. The blonde gave her a simple nod.

"God, Rachel, you can do anything," breathed Quinn. "Anything you want."

Without wasting another moment, Rachel ran her hands over Quinn's ass, studying the curvature and shape, appreciating its smoothness and perfection. Another moan from Quinn's lips, and Rachel knew she was addicted to that sound. But before she could explore any further, Quinn pulled away and pushed herself up. Rachel stared up at the beautiful actress straddling her, wondering what was going through her mind.

Her eyes were fully adjusted to the dim light and she could see Quinn clearly. She watched Quinn's stomach rise and fall and suddenly felt a strong yearning to run her tongue along the length of her abdomen. The blonde was biting her lip, as if contemplating her next move. Rachel waited patiently for a decision to be made. Quinn only hesitated a moment before her hands fell to the hem of her shirt and she lifted it up over her head. Rachel tried not to blink. There was no way she was missing a moment of this. Quinn bent down to kiss Rachel, giving the brunette easy access to her bra. Rachel's breath caught in her throat as she reached behind Quinn's back to unfasten her bra. They broke away from their kiss as the bra straps fell from Quinn's shoulder, then down her arm and finally, to the floor. Quinn sat up, her heavy breathing very apparent to Rachel. She was nervous. Rachel could tell, but she was too preoccupied with what she was seeing to comfort her in any way. Sure, it was a bit selfish, but there was just so much happening. Her eyes widened as she took time to memorize every inch of Quinn's chest.

"Wow." Rachel couldn't believe that was the only reaction she could come up with, but all coherent words seemed to escape her at this moment. She grew slightly concerned for Quinn, whose shoulders were trembling, but she was putting on a brave face, showing Rachel exactly how courageous she could be.

Rachel went with her first instinct, which was to reach up and touch the tender flesh that had just been revealed to her. She palmed the blonde's perfectly formed breasts as Quinn closed her eyes and threw her head back. Rachel felt Quinn's thighs tighten around her hips. Suddenly, Quinn grabbed Rachel's hands, brought them up over her head and pinned them to the floor once more. Quinn was losing control and obviously not happy about it. Rachel allowed her to rectify the situation, but not without teasing her a bit.

"I thought you said I could do anything."

Quinn smirked. "You know me, Rachel. I often change my mind about things."

Rachel locked eyes with her paramour. "Does that include me?"

Quinn placed a kiss on Rachel's nose. "I could never change my mind about you." She adjusted her position and scooted up a bit. "Now close your eyes."

"Why?"

"You ask too many questions."

Rachel obliged and reluctantly closed her eyes.

"Now open your mouth," whispered Quinn.

Rachel fought the urge to ask why and slowly parted her lips, anxiously wondering what to expect. She couldn't hear anything except the blood rushing in her ears and Quinn's heavy breaths. For a moment, nothing happened. She waited. What was Quinn doing? Was she purposefully trying to drive her insane? Suddenly, Rachel gasped and jolted the moment her mouth came into contact with the softest, sweetest flesh her mouth had ever felt. She felt a sudden pounding between her legs as she realized what Quinn had done. Her lips willingly massaged Quinn's breast as her tongue reached out to flick her hardened nipple. She opened her mouth wider, swallowing even more flesh and tugging Quinn's nipple between her teeth.

Quinn's breath grew more staggered.

"Ughhhh…God."

Rachel smiled and was immediately grateful for whatever prompted Quinn to do this. She wanted to badly to touch her other breast, but Quinn seemed dead set on keeping her hands on lockdown. With her eyes still closed, she could feel Quinn writhing above her and began to intensify the use of her tongue. Quinn's panting became more and more evident.

Suddenly, Rachel was left with nothing. She was tasting air and moved her head up to try and capture her flesh once more, but there was nothing there. She opened her eyes.

"Did I say you can open your eyes?" asked Quinn.

"No, but…"

"Close them."

Rachel did and opened her mouth again without being told. She was instantly rewarded with Quinn's other breast submerged in her mouth. She could swear she saw stars as she felt Quinn's nipple harden against her tongue. And she could feel herself practically dripping from her shorts. She couldn't believe what Quinn was doing to her body when Rachel wasn't even the one being touched.

"Jesus, your tongue…fee…feels amazing," moaned Quinn, who was no grinding on top of Rachel's stomach.

Rachel could feel the heat between her legs and wondered how long it would take Quinn to realize that the rest of their clothes were burdens.

It took no time at all, actually. Quinn sat up, her face was bright red and she ran her fingers through her hair.

"It's so hot in here. Are you hot?"

Rachel nodded vigorously. Too many clothes. Must take off.

Quinn grabbed the collar of Rachel's shirt and pulled her up to a sitting position. She licked her lips as Rachel instinctively put her arms up. Before she knew it, Rachel was topless. She swallowed hard and looked down at her chest, then looked back up. Quinn's eyes were mesmerized at the sight. Rachel had a difficult time catching her breath. She was preoccupied with Quinn slowly breaking her down, studying her. Was she good enough? Was she what Quinn was hoping for? Could she measure up?

Rachel's shaky hands reached out to help Quinn out of her sweats. Pretty soon, all that was left was Rachel's shorts, which Quinn wasted no time in pulling off of her. The area between her legs was met with cool air and it was at this moment when Rachel realized just how wet she actually was. Quinn pushed her knee between Rachel's legs, spreading them. Rachel nearly hyperventilated at the sight and the feeling of Quinn settling down between her quivering legs. Her breath hitched as their centers just barely touched.

Rachel's entire body was on fire and the moment Quinn's nipples came into contact with her own, she knew she had never wanted anything more in her entire life. And if Quinn didn't touch her soon, her body might actually shut down and her brain would cease to work. But she needed her brain to work. Because she needed to hold onto this memory forever. The memory of Quinn Fabray on top of her, grazing their nipples together, their tongues fighting for control over each other.

"Rachel?" Quinn's voice was barely audible.

"Yeah?" panted Rachel.

"Are you okay with this?"

Rachel ran her fingers through Quinn's hair and nodded.

"Because...we don't have to-"

"I want to," assured Rachel. "I just…I've never…"

"I know. It's okay. I just don't want you to…regret…anything."

Rachel almost teared up at the thought of Quinn thinking she would regret this. She needed to reassure her. She took Quinn's hand and kissed her fingertips gently. Then, mustering every ounce of confidence she had, guided Quinn's hand down between her legs.

She was met with a look of shock and excitement from Quinn who began to circle around Rachel's clit. Rachel's entire body immediately stiffened. And the moment Quinn pressed on the one spot she had been waiting for, Rachel threw her head back and a loud moan ripped from her mouth. She tried to stifle it, but couldn't. Her toes curled and she bucked her hips up into Quinn's touch.

"Shhhhh. Rachel, your dads might hear us."

"I don't care," whispered a breathless brunette.

"I do. And I know you do too," replied Quinn, whose fingers slowly kept their pace against Rachel's clit.

Rachel closed her eyes and brought the back of her hand up to her mouth trying to silence another moan. She was unsuccessful yet again. She reached out to her left, grabbed the remote and pushed play. Maybe the sound of the movie would drown out the sounds of her ecstasy.

All Rachel could see was Quinn's hair resting on her chest as she felt the blonde's mouth circling her breast as her tongue licked her aching nipple. Her mind went blank right then and there because at that same moment, Quinn's finger that had been lingering at her entrance now dipped inside of her. Rachel's back instinctively arched up.

"Oh my God. Do…do that again."

Quinn obliged. Rachel felt her hot breath and wet tongue circling her breast as her finger began slowly pumping in and out of Rachel. The brunette had to bite her lip to keep from screaming. There was no way Cary and Katharine could drown out the sound she wanted to make. Why did Quinn feel so perfect? Why did it feel like she was everywhere all at once? Why hadn't they done this before? Because she was pretty certain she could never go another day without doing this again.

Her fingers became tangled in Quinn's hair as she pulled her in closer to her chest. She peeked over the blonde's head to watch as her ass moved up and down with every thrust. It was, by far, the hottest thing she had ever seen. It was at this moment Quinn decided to add a second finger inside Rachel, then grazed her clit with her thumb. Rachel's head fell back and her eyes rolled up into her head. At this rate, there was no way she was going to last much longer.

"Oh God…Quinn. I…I'm gonna…"

"It's okay, Rachel."

"God, I don't want it to end."

"Shh…it's okay."

Quinn picked up her pace and her intensity. She tongued Rachel's nipple one last time and palmed her clit with each thrust. She brought her lips next to Rachel's ear. "You're perfect."

And with those actions and those words, Rachel let out a high pitched whimper that turned into an intense groan as she climaxed. Her hips propelled upward, lifting Quinn with them. She shook and shuddered and rode out her orgasm with Quinn's fingers still inside of her. Her body went limp and her head fell back with a thud on her floor. She was gasping for air as Quinn slowly pulled out of her and gazed down at her with a look of both pride and adoration.

Rachel was running on pure adrenaline now. She was exhausted and shaky and dizzy, but she had to know exactly what it felt like to touch her. She captured Quinn's lips and rolled her over until Quinn was on her back and Rachel was on top of her. The brunette swallowed hard as she looked down at Quinn. She had no idea where she wanted to start. There was just so much skin to explore, but if she didn't touch her soon, she would go completely insane. Rachel positioned her thigh between Quinn's legs and pushed against her core as she kissed down her shoulder. The blonde muttered something incoherent and reached her hand out to grab onto something. Anything. Instead, she managed to knock over the bowl of popcorn next to them. Neither girl seemed to notice or care.

Rachel moved her thigh in between Quinn's legs once more and enjoyed the sight of Quinn's neck arching back. She felt her body squirming underneath her as Rachel's hot breath warmed the skin of Quinn's abdomen.

Rachel had always been one for immediate gratification and knowing there was no way she could keep up this teasing, she slowly moved her hand down to Quinn's center and remained there for a moment, drawing tiny circles just outside her most sensitive spot. Rachel nervously bit her lip and made sure to watch Quinn's face as she brushed her fingertips along her slit.

"Fuck…" Quinn cried out.

Rachel circled around Quinn's entrance and moved her finger up to massage her clit. Quinn was trembling beneath her.

"Is this okay?" Rachel could only assume Quinn was enjoying it, but had to know for sure.

"Fuck, Rachel. That is more than…more than okay. Keep…keep doing that," muttered Quinn between breaths.

Rachel was getting turned on all over again just feeling how wet Quinn was. She added another finger to the mix and fervently stroked the spot that made Quinn writhe like that. With her confidence slowly building, Rachel became even bolder. She crashed her lips into Quinn's and entered her, feeling her walls clenching around her fingers. She was pretty sure nothing would ever top this moment.

Quinn was a mess by this point. She was sweating and her voice was almost hoarse from all the groaning.

"Jesus. There's no way you've never done this before," exclaimed Quinn.

Rachel smiled, quite proud of herself.

"You know I haven't."

Rachel watched as Quinn's wall officially came crashing down. The wall she worked so hard to build up over the years was slowly being picked apart by Rachel Berry. In this moment, Quinn's hardened exterior fully faded away. Suddenly, it wasn't "It Girl" Quinn Fabray she was making love to. She was simply Quinn. And she was beautiful. All Rachel could see was the vulnerable, sweet, scared, and trusting Quinn she had come to know and adore. And suddenly it all made sense. Rachel tried so hard to break through to her. She came at her full force. She came at her with a sledgehammer when apparently all she needed was the touch of her finger to tear her wall down. She couldn't believe it was this simple. A sense of power washed over Rachel, as well as an instinctual protectiveness over Quinn. She was pretty sure the other girl was only ever exposed like this one other time and that obviously turned out badly. Rachel refused to let her think this would end up the same way.

With one final curl of Rachel's fingers deep inside, Quinn began to shudder uncontrollably. Rachel felt her walls clamp around her fingers and she watched as tears formed behind Quinn's eyes. The blonde was completely unraveling underneath her and as she came down from her orgasm, Rachel was silenced with the next three words Quinn spoke.

"I love you."

She said it in the most purely raw way, with a hint of pleading. She stared deep into Rachel's eyes and then her body went limp against the floor. Rachel stared at her for a minute before collapsing next to her. She took Quinn's hand in hers and they lay there in silence. For some reason, Rachel simply didn't know how to respond to what Quinn said. But the one thing she did know was that after tonight, nothing was ever going to be the same.

They fell asleep on the floor that night with popcorn strewn everywhere. Rachel had thought about them moving to the bed, but she was exhausted and way too comfortable to move. And besides, Quinn was already asleep with her head on Rachel's chest. There was absolutely no sound reason to disrupt such a beautiful thing.

The following week, Rachel found it very difficult to hide the constant smile on her face, especially when she was in the presence of Quinn. Her daily routine had been shot to hell by this point, but she didn't seem to care. It was such an odd thing, not caring about missing her morning workout or her nightly skin rituals. But somehow, it didn't seem to matter. She still had her dream of being a Broadway star and still practiced her singing at when, but the stringent routine she had worked out for herself suddenly seemed silly to her. Perhaps it was because she started it all due to her lack of popularity. She didn't have a lot of friends, which left her with plenty of time for other things. Soon enough, she had become obsessive about it. It gave her a sense of control and a sense of meaning in her life. She had no idea that all it would take was a leggy blonde to disrupt it all and turn her world upside down. And she kind of liked it.

It was almost dinner time in the Berry household and Rachel pretended to be engrossed in a text book, but all she had really done was read the same two lines over and over because she couldn't stop thinking about a certain set of hazel-green eyes.

"Rach, sweetie. Why don't you belt out some Barbra while your father's cooking dinner?" Hiram sat down at the piano in their living room and began playing a few notes.

"Hmm?" Rachel looked up from her book, awaking from one of her many Quinn-related daydreams.

"You. Sing. Barbra. Yes? No?" Hiram tried to simplify his request.

"Not tonight, daddy."

From the kitchen, they heard Leroy drop a dish. It startled Rachel.

"Did you just say not tonight?" Leroy ran out of the kitchen and immediately felt Rachel's forehead. "Are you feeling okay, honey? I think she might have a fever."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "I'm fine. I just…I wanted to give my voice a little rest."

Rachel was met with two blank stares.

"I've had a long week."

More blank stares.

"I haven't slept much."

Leroy and Hiram looked at each other and nodded.

"The perfect segue, I suppose," said Hiram. They both sat down on the living room couch and faced their daughter.

"What do you mean?" asked Rachel.

Her dads let out a collective sigh.

"You said you haven't slept much. And we were wondering if maybe it's because of Quinn," began Leroy.

Hiram chimed in. "Now, you know we love her. She's a great girl, but she's over here so much. Even on school nights. And we've been more than hospitable because you've told us how her house isn't exactly the most welcoming place, but maybe now's the time we talk about ending these sleepovers."

Rachel sat up in her chair. "Daddy, no!"

"At least on school nights," said Leroy, but he was met with a nudge by his husband. "Well…maybe weekends, too."

Rachel couldn't believe what she was hearing. "You don't want me to see Quinn anymore?" Her voice sounded desperate.

"No, no honey. That's not it at all. We just…oh, how do we bring this up?" asked Leroy.

"Bring what up?" Rachel looked at her dads, waiting for a response of some kind.

Hiram sighed and patted Rachel's knee. "Sweetie, is there something you want to tell us? Something about you and Quinn?"

Rachel's breathing intensified. She felt all the blood drain from her body. Was she really so blind? Did she really think she could fool her dads into thinking Quinn was just a friend?

"I…uh…" She desperately searched around, looking for anything that could save her from the conversation she was most likely about to have with her dads.

"Honey, we know you and Quinn are together," revealed Leroy.

Rachel blinked back a few tears. She felt like she was freefalling, scrambling for some sort of parachute, but finding nothing.

"We love you, Rachel. First and foremost, you have to know that," assured Hiram. "But we need you to be honest with us. We can't trust you unless you trust us. It's going to be okay. I promise."

The tears were flowing freely now as Rachel nodded. She felt lost. Like she had been thrown into a lion's den with nothing but her voice and her wit to protect her. Both of which seemed to be failing her right now.

"Are you and Quinn together?"

"Yeah." Her voice cracked as she swiped at her tears, and she couldn't bring herself to look at them just yet. But with that one word, she felt a huge weight lifted off her shoulders.

Leroy nodded. "And how long has this been going on?"

"I don't really know. It's hard to say."

Her dads exchanged another look with each other.

"Okay. Fair enough." Leroy leaned forward, trying to get his daughter to meet his eyes. "Rachel, you understand our concern, right? We love you and support you no matter what, but spending all hours of the night with Quinn in your room isn't acceptable. Especially when it's affecting your sleep habits and your extracurricular activities."

"And especially because you two are together. Not just friends." Hiram reminded them.

"Well yes, that too."

Rachel wanted to die. She was pretty sure embarrassment wasn't a very common cause of death, but she was an innovator. Perhaps she would be the first. She continued staring at the ground and kept her hands folded in her lap.

"Can we not talk about this now?"

Leroy leaned back into the couch. "We caught you off guard. Blindsided you. I know that. And if you want to take some time to think about everything before we talk about it, we understand. But at some point, the four of us need to have a conversation."

"The four of us?" It was the first time Rachel looked at them since the beginning of the conversation.

"Me, your dad, you and Quinn. That's four."

"Honey, we just want to know that you're making…right decisions. Quinn is a great girl, but she's got some heavy baggage. We worry about you. Both of you. And we just want you to be smart about this, okay?"

Rachel stood up. She wasn't ready to talk and she sure as hell knew Quinn wouldn't be ready to talk so openly about this.

"Can I go now?"

They nodded.

"Dinner in twenty," reminded Leroy.

Rachel turned to go, but not before asking one lingering question.

"Daddy?

"Yeah?"

Rachel looked at the ground and then back up at Hiram.

"How did you know?

Hiram smiled and shrugged. "A father always knows."


	15. I Can't Help You, I Cannot Keep You Safe

Rachel lingered outside the double doors of the school's gymnasium waiting for Quinn to change her mind.

"Are you sure you want to do this?"

"Yeah. I'm sure."

"This is how you want to spend your Friday night? Our Friday night?"

Quinn shrugged. "It'll be fun. Where's your school spirit?"

"It died along with part of my dignity the day I first got slushied."

"Fair enough. But let's check it out anyway. I want to get the full high school experience."

"Since when?"

Quinn smiled and brushed her hand across Rachel's. "Since I found a reason for actually liking this place."

Rachel smiled sheepishly. "Well, when you put it that way..."

She opened the door and they were immediately greeted with loud cheers and clapping as the students vs. teachers basketball game was just starting the second quarter. The girls scanned the bleachers for a place to sit and opted for a spot near the back middle. They sat down, both overwhelmingly careful not to sit too close to each other, but not too far apart. Rachel hated this part. This was the main reason she wanted to hang out with Quinn alone. Because it was completely impossible to sit next to Quinn Fabray and not want to touch her. She could feel her arm start to twitch as she tried to refrain from leaning in against Quinn's arm.

Instead, she focused on the game and laughed as she pointed out Mr. Schuester to Quinn. He had just missed his third attempted shot at the basket.

"Poor Mr. Schue. He tries so hard," Rachel lamented.

"I'm more focused on what's going on over there." Quinn nodded in the direction of the Cheerios. At first, Rachel found herself slightly jealous. Why was Quinn check out the cheerleaders? But upon closer observation, Rachel could see what she was talking about.

Brittany was holding her wrist and wincing as Santana bandaged it up. Brittany must have injured it doing a flip or a back handspring or something. Once the bandage was on, Santana gave Brittany's wrist a quick kiss and flashed her a smile before she went back to cheering.

Suddenly, the crowd jumped up and cheered as one of the math teachers made a three-point shot.

The girls stood up along with everyone else and applauded.

"I wonder if they know how cute they are." Quinn took this opportunity to put her hand on the small of Rachel's back as she leaned in to talk to her.

Rachel tried to keep herself composed. "I'm sure Santana is well aware."

"Probably." Quinn whispering in her ear sent a chill down Rachel's spine. Why did they have to be surrounded by hundreds of people?

Rachel felt a vibration in Quinn's pocket and jumped at the sensation.

Quinn reached into her pocket and grabbed her phone. She studied the number before declining the call and slipped the phone back into her pocket.

"Who is it?" asked Rachel.

"No one important," assured Quinn.

It was now halftime and a few of the teachers stood at half court and thanked the crowd for showing their support and helping to raise money for the prom. By the time the Cheerios ran out to perform their halftime routine, Rachel's body had taken on a mind of its own. With every sly glance from Quinn, every innocent touch, every breathy whisper, Rachel wanted nothing more than to take Quinn under the bleachers and do unspeakable acts to her. Before she was able to even suggest such a thing, she noticed a few students looking back in their direction…or rather Quinn's direction. She looked around and noticed a few more stares from people in the crowd and suddenly, she felt very annoyed. Is this was it's like for Quinn every single day? How does she handle people just staring at her? Living under such scrutiny at such a young age had to somehow take its toll, but Quinn didn't even seem to notice. Perhaps she was used to it by now. But it noticeable enough to bother the hell out of Rachel.

"Have you had enough high school fun yet?" asked Rachel.

Quinn shrugged. "I suppose." She nudged Rachel. "Do you know where a gal can get a decent Italian meal around here?"

"Decent? No. Italian? Yes."

They started making their way down the bleachers as the second half of the game commenced. Rachel tried to avoid the double takes and whispers amongst the spectators as they maneuvered their way down. They were almost out the door until a familiar voice stopped them.

"What's the rush, 5150? Did someone leak your sex tape?"

"Santana," warned Rachel.

"Oh calm down. I was just going to ask if you ladies would like to join me and Britt at Breadstix. We're not needed for the second half and I need to carb up for tonight?"

"What's tonight?" asked Rachel. Once she saw the knowing look on Santana's face, she immediately regretted asking. "You know what? I don't want to know."

"Yeah, you probably don't. Even though you were witness to it not so long ago," teased Santana.

"What?" Quinn wasn't quite sure what was going on.

"Nothing. It's a long, embarrassing story," informed Rachel. She led Quinn out the door and looked back at Santana. "And yes. Breadstix. We'll meet you there."

Rachel hadn't intended for tonight to turn into a double date situation, yet here they were. She and Quinn on one side of the booth and Santana and Brittany on the other side. Quinn was answering a few of Brittany's questions about the plot of Outside Hearts and what life in Los Angeles was like. Every so often, Rachel could sense Santana gearing up to say something rude to Quinn, but she would shoot her a warning look every time and Santana would concede.

"So is Gabriel really the father of Sierra's baby?" asked a wide-eyed Brittany.

"I don't actually know. I haven't really been following along with any of this season's storylines. I don't even know who Sierra is," admitted Quinn.

"Well, the show went downhill since you left, anyway." Brittany started rubbing her wrist.

"What happened, by the way? Are you okay?" asked Quinn, pointing to the bandaged wrist.

"I think I tweaked it last night."

"Last night?"

"I was playing Twister against Lord Tubbington. And unfortunately, he won." Brittany lowered her head in embarrassment.

Quinn chuckled. "Well, I'm gonna use the restroom before our food gets here."

"I'll go with you!" exclaimed Brittany.

They scooted out of the booth and the moment they were out of earshot, Santana leaned in toward Rachel.

"Okay, we don't have a lot of time so I'm just gonna make this as quick and crude as possible. Have you hit that yet?"

"Santana!"

"What? I told you: quick and crude."

Rachel audibly sighed.

"Is that a sigh of frustration?"

"No."

"Well, you two seem to be hitting it off. I mean, you're inseparable."

Rachel took a sip of water and then nervously spun the glass around in her hand.

"Just a quick nod. Yes or no."

Rachel didn't nod. But she did offer a demure smile and it was all the proof Santana needed.

"Berry! You slut. Nice! High five." She held out her hand. "Come on. Don't leave me hanging."

Rachel obliged and slapped her hand. She felt like a guy in a locker room bragging to his buddies. But there was something oddly comforting about Santana knowing all of her deepest secrets. Regardless of how much Santana teased her, she knew she'd never really judge her.

"Wow. So you finally lost your V-card. And to Quinn Fabray!"

"Can you not talk so loud, please?"

"Hi pot. Nice to meet you. I'm kettle."

"Yes. I'm Rachel Berry. I'm loud. I get it. But can you lower your voice here while talking about Quinn? Please?"

"Yeah, yeah. Okay. You're right. Sorry." Santana leaned back against the booth. "Can I ask you how it was?"

Rachel could feel her face turn bright read. She bit her lip to try to keep her smile at bay.

"That good, huh?"

"She told me she loved me." Rachel stated, barely above a whisper.

Santana's eyes went wide with shock. "Whoa. What did you say?"

Before Rachel could answer, she noticed the girls heading back over to the booth. She straightened up and put her glass of water back on the table.

"Why do automatic toilets always flush before I'm even done?" asked Brittany.

"I think that's one of life's great mysteries," replied Santana as she put her arm through Brittany's.

Quinn leaned over and whispered to Rachel, "This is the longest Santana's gone without insulting or threatening me. Either I'm growing on her or someone is keeping her in check."

"You must be growing on her."

"Sure. We'll go with that."

They smiled at each other as Quinn took Rachel's hand under the table. Rachel could feel her pulse quicken at the touch, but nothing could prepare her for what came next.

Quinn moved in closer and whispered, "I wish I could kiss you right now."

Rachel tightened her grip on Quinn's hand, but before she could have any kind of vocal reaction, the waitress came with their food. Check please? If only it were that easy.

Quinn's phone vibrated again and she pulled it out to see who was calling before putting it back in her pocket.

"Don't you want to get that?"

"Not really. They'll call back tomorrow."

The conversation throughout the rest of the dinner was surprisingly pleasant. Rachel wasn't too sure how tension-filled the dinner would be, but apparently between her and Brittany, their joint forces were able to reign Santana in. It certainly helped that Quinn and Brittany got along so well.

"Hey waitress! Mama needs more breadsticks," yelled Santana as she polished off the last breadstick at the table.

After a refill of breadsticks, Brittany was in the middle of telling the group a story about her summer at cheer camp her freshman year when Santana looked down at her phone and gasped.

"What is it?" asked Rachel.

"Um…" Santana cocked her head to the side and pulled the phone closer to her face, trying to decipher exactly what she was looking at.

"What is it, San?" asked Brittany. She leaned over to look at the phone. "Whoa."

Quinn shared a confused look with Rachel.

"What's going on?"

Santana looked at Rachel incredulously. "I…well…uh….you're on TMZ." She shoved the phone in Rachel's face. Rachel instinctively moved her head back and then grabbed Santana's hand to steady the phone.

Sure enough, she was staring at a photo of herself. Well, she was kind of blurry and in the background with Quinn in the forefront. But it was definitely her and it was definitely from that night when they went to the movies together.

"How did you find this?"

"Tina just texted it to me."

Rachel could feel her whole body tense up. She looked over at Quinn who was studying the photo.

"Hmm…it was posted a few weeks ago." She looked back at Rachel. "Are you okay? I'm sorry to drag you into all this."

Rachel was taken aback by how blasé Quinn was being about the whole situation. But she had to remind herself that this was a daily occurrence for Quinn.

"Me? I'm fine. Look at the caption: 'Quinn Fabray Hiding Out in Lima, Ohio With an Unidentified Friend.' I'm not even a blip on their radar."

"Trust me, that's a good thing." Quinn's normally perfect posture had fallen out of form. She was slumped over, picking at her plate with a contemplative look on her face.

Rachel placed a hand on her shoulder. "Are you okay?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah. I guess. Just kind of angry."

"Uh oh. Angry Quinn. Everybody look out!" joked Rachel.

Quinn offered a smile. "I just should have been more careful. You shouldn't have to deal with cameras in your face and your privacy shouldn't have to be compromised just because you're seen with me. It's not fair to you."

"It's fine. I promise. Besides, I'm the one who's a liability."

"What do you mean?" asked Quinn.

Rachel shrugged. "I don't know. I just think that maybe the more you're seen with me, the more they'll ask questions. You know…about why you're here."

Quinn winced at the statement. "I don't feel so good. I'm sorry. Do you guys mind if we call it a night?"

"Not at all. We should be getting home anyway," said Brittany. She and Santana got up to leave.

Santana stopped next to Quinn and put a reassuring hand on her shoulder. "Feel better. Everything will be fine."

It was the nicest thing she's ever said to Quinn. And even though it was hard for her to say it, Rachel knew that she meant it.

After paying the check, Quinn and Rachel left the restaurant. As Rachel headed to her car, Quinn stayed where she was.

"Do you mind if we walk? I could use some fresh air."

Quinn looked defeated, as if a small gust of wind would easily knock her over. Rachel had to fight every urge in her body not to hug her and hold her until whatever weight she was feeling was lifted. Instead, she simply walked next to her.

"Of course we can walk."

The further away from the restaurant they walked, the darker it became. The streetlights barely lit the path for them. Perhaps it was a good thing. Quinn was obviously feeling exposed and guilty about the prospect of Rachel feeling the same way. Rachel knew Quinn just needed some time to blow off steam. So she walked. She put one foot in front of the other and concentrated on the sound of their shoes clicking in unison on the sidewalk. They turned left, away from the main road and continued their trek.

"Nice night." Quinn finally broke the ice.

"Yeah." Rachel rolled her eyes. Of all the things to respond with, she goes with 'yeah.'

"I'm sorry I freaked out at the restaurant."

"It's okay. We all have our diva moments. Me, especially."

"How do you do that?" asked Quinn.

"Do what?"

"How are you able to stay so patient with me? I'm a ticking time bomb. I run hot and cold more than a shower faucet and yet you're still here. You're always here. How do you have that kind of tolerance?"

Quinn's analogy had Rachel picturing her in the shower, but she immediately wiped that image out of her brain. Quinn was asking a serious question.

"I've put up with a lot of crap in my life. Mostly bullies at school. There are people who are worth putting up with and there are people who aren't worth my time or tears. It took me a long time to learn that. And you definitely fall in the former category." Rachel stopped and faced Quinn. "Besides…I kinda like you."

Quinn smiled sweetly. "Kinda?"

Rachel brought her lips to Quinn's. "Maybe a lot."

They pulled away and continued walking.

"Let's cut through the park. It's a shortcut to my place," suggested Rachel.

The park was completely deserted, which was a relief to Rachel. Walking side-by-side with Quinn all this time without being able to take her hand was killing her. She extended her arm toward Quinn to see if she'd take the bate. She did. Their fingers intertwined as Quinn stepped closer to Rachel.

They continued to walk in silence until Quinn stopped and sat down on a nearby bench. Rachel stood in front of her, still holding her hand.

"I meant it, you know." Quinn lifted her eyes up to meet Rachel's.

"Meant what?"

"What I said that night in your room. When we…you know. And I just wanted to tell you that I meant it. In case you were wondering."

Rachel nodded. It was something she had thought about a lot over the past couple weeks. Those three words hovered around in her brain, echoing constantly. It brought a smile to her face every time her subconscious brought that memory to the surface.

Rachel took a step back and leaned against the tree next to the bench.

"You don't have to say it back, you know," assured Quinn.

Rachel could feel her breathing become more erratic. Her knotted stomach refused to cooperate as she steadied herself against the tree, bracing against it with her hands behind her back.

"I should have said it," admitted Rachel. "I should have said it that night. Right after you told me. Hell, I wanted to say it long before then. I guess maybe you taught me a thing or two about being guarded. And part of me kind of hoped it would go without saying. Because if you don't know by now how I feel about you, then I must be doing something wrong. Because I do love you, Quinn."

Quinn smiled to herself and got up to walk toward Rachel. Her hands found their way to Rachel's hips as she pulled herself closer to her. She placed a chaste kiss on Rachel's cheek and pulled away. "You're safe with me. I want you to know that. I know that I live my life under a microscope, but I will do everything I can to protect you from it. Until the days comes when you're the one they're after. Rachel Berry: the EGOT Girl."

Rachel chuckled, then closed her eyes and sighed. "It's just…this is all so new to me."

"What is? Being in love? Or being in love with a girl?" Quinn leaned in closer, brushing her lips against Rachel's. "Or being in love with a celebrity?"

Rachel began to tear up as she slowly nodded. "Yes."

"Which one?"

"All of them."

The faded streetlights cast a glowing radiance over Quinn's face. There was just enough light to see her eyes shining back at her. Rachel was captivated. She took this opportunity to capture her lips, running her tongue along Quinn's upper lip until she was greeted by that tongue she was so addicted to. Quinn's mouth tasted like cherries from the Shirley Temple she drank at the restaurant. Rachel hummed as she tasted the sweetness of Quinn's breath. She wrapped her hands around the back of Quinn's neck and pulled her in closer. She felt Quinn stumble a little as she tried to find her footing against the tree roots on the ground. Rachel moved one hand behind her back to help support her.

Quinn laughed at her own clumsiness. Once she regained her balance, she ran her fingers through Rachel's hair and lightly tugged at the end.

"So, you love me?"

Rachel nodded.

"You love me? A girl? A woman?"

Rachel nodded again.

"And you love me. The actress. Quinn Fabray. Jessica Shay. Emily Stark."

Rachel hesitated slightly before nodding again. She tried reading the look on Quinn's face, but as usual, it was nearly impossible to know what that girl was thinking.

Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand and brought it up to her lips. She proceeded to kiss every individual finger one by one.

"Can I ask you something, Rachel?"

"Always." The word unintentionally came out as a moan, but really who could blame her, the way Quinn was seductively licking Rachel's fingers.

"Will there ever be a time when you stop thinking of me as Quinn Fabray?"

Her tone wasn't necessarily angry. It was more curious and slightly hopeful. And even a little heartbreaking. Quinn moved her lips from Rachel's fingers to her neck, kissing and nipping at her skin from her ear down to her collarbone. It was almost impossible for Rachel to formulate a coherent response. She didn't want to respond. Responding meant talking, which meant distraction, which meant no more good feelings along her neck. But she knew Quinn was expecting an answer.

"No."

It was that simple, but apparently complex enough for Quinn to pull away and look at Rachel with hurtful, pleading eyes.

"No?" The crack in her voice was too much for Rachel to bear.

"No." Rachel ran a soothing hand through Quinn's hair. "I can't stop thinking about you as Quinn Fabray because that's who you are. Actress, celebrity, It Girl, sex symbol, blonde, beautiful, smart, talented, funny, completely non-athletic, nerdy, vulnerable, sweet, good-hearted, passionate, rage-filled, Quinn Fabray. Your fame isn't all of you, but it's an important part of you. And I love every single part of you. I'm not going to pretend that you're not famous. Because it's such a big part of your life. But I'm not going to ignore all the other things that make you who you are. Because each one of them is just as important as the next. And I want to spend every day learning more and loving more about every part of you."

The look on Quinn's face said it all. It was completely lit up with nearly every kind of emotion that existed. Happiness, fear, lust, intrigue, longing. Rachel didn't even have a moment to breathe before Quinn pushed her up against the tree and kissed her. It was unlike anything she had experienced before. This one was far more wanton and urgent than any of the kisses they had shared in the past. It was almost as though if Quinn stopped kissing her for even one second, she would fall apart. For someone who appeared so fragile just a moment ago, Quinn was certainly showing no signs of that now. She kept lunging forward, pushing Rachel harder against the tree. Rachel's neck felt the burn from the rough bark against her skin, but she didn't mind. If she had made the slightest indication of her discomfort, Quinn would stop. And she did not want Quinn to stop.

Her lips were swollen and raw, but that didn't matter because nothing seemed to ease the ache. The more of Quinn she drank in, the more she wanted. Quinn's tongue massaged against her own, both tangling in each other's mouths and tasting each other's lips. It was almost a contest by this point. Quinn was winning. Quinn always seemed to be winning. Rachel's insides were on fire. The blonde moved her tongue down along Rachel's jaw line as Rachel grabbed a few locks of Quinn's hair and pulled her closer.

"I need you." Rachel didn't know how or why those three words managed to escape her, but now that it was out there, she may as well go with it. "Now."

She broke away for a brief moment to take a look around. She knew no one was there, but it felt right to make sure. Without even hesitating, she pulled her shirt up over her head, tossed it over to the bench and quickly pulled Quinn back into her. She grimaced as the bark scratched against her back. Clearly she didn't think this through, but it was too late now. Quinn was already on a trajectory that only an act of God could stop now.

Quinn's hands felt comforting and cool on Rachel's hot flesh. She melted into her as the taller girl's hands moved up and down her sides, taking in every piece of exposed skin. Rachel reached down to take Quinn's hand and brought it up to her chest, placing it over the sensitive area her bra was covering. She could tell that act made Quinn become riled up as her breath hitched and she nervously bit her lip. Rachel kept her focus on Quinn's eyes. It was all she could see in the moment. It was all she wanted to see. Those eyes kept her safe and grounded. She swallowed hard as she brought her hand up to her bra strap and slowly pulled it down, revealing her left breast to Quinn.

"Oh my God," muttered Quinn under her breath. She shook her head in disbelief as she explored the sensitive flesh with her hand. "Could you possibly be any more perfect?"

Rachel was beyond aroused by this point. Realizing just how much she cared for Quinn and then putting it all out there in the open somehow opened up something inside of her. With every single touch, she ached for more. She pulled her other bra strap completely down and moved Quinn's other hand to where she needed to be touched at the moment. With both of Quinn's hands and her tongue occupying every uncovered inch of her sensitive breasts, Rachel threw her head back and moaned with delight. Granted, she had to endure some scratches on the back of her head from the bark, but it was worth it. She gripped Quinn's hair with both her hands and moaned again. God, yes. This was definitely worth it.

"Holy shit, Quinn," breathed Rachel. "Do that again."

Quinn obliged and ran her tongue over a hardened nipple while running her thumb over the other one. Rachel was utterly worked up by this point. She could feel herself dripping between her legs. Just the slightest movement caused the friction in her jeans to rub against her aching clit and she knew right away that she had ruined a perfectly good pair of underwear.

Quinn made her way back up to Rachel's lips as she moved her hands further south and lingered at the button of her jeans. Breathless and desperate, she gazed at Rachel, waiting for permission.

Rachel placed her hand on the nape of Quinn's neck and pulled her in for a soft kiss before whispering, "Please touch me, Quinn. I don't think I can go another second without you inside me."

Quinn's mouth opened to say something, but nothing came out.

Rachel, herself, couldn't even believe those words were coming out of her mouth. Rachel Berry talking dirty? Either she really wanted this or she had been hanging out with Santana too much. Quinn fumbled with the button of her jeans and began unzipping them. Nope…she wanted it. She definitely wanted it.

Quinn struggled trying to loosen Rachel's jeans.

"Why couldn't you have worn a skirt today?" asked a frustrated Quinn.

"I figured you'd like a challenge."

"Not in this case."

Rachel was getting impatient. The lack of Quinn's hands on her was breaking her brain. She decided Quinn needed a little more motivation.

"You have no idea how wet I am right now," she whimpered.

Quinn stopped what she was doing and looked up at her incredulously. The look in her eyes turned from frustration to lust within seconds.

"Oh fuck it." With one final push, Quinn lowered Rachel's jeans far enough down so she could gain a fair amount of access. She dipped her hand inside Rachel's underwear and both girls immediately moaned at the touch.

Quinn kissed Rachel at the exact same moment her fingers entered her. And then Rachel forgot how to exist. Everything came at her all at once and all she could do was moan and scream and whimper. Every sound that she could possibly make came out of her at that moment. Hearing it must have set something off within Quinn because the blonde immediately began pumping faster. She repeatedly began slamming Rachel against the tree. It was aggressive, needy, sensual, and even painful on Rachel's part, but she just went with it. The bark was scratching up every inch of her back, neck and head with every slam against the tree. Something inside of her actually enjoyed the primal nature of what was happening. She needed Quinn so badly in this moment, but there was something so beautifully and comforting about the fact that Quinn needed her just as desperately.

Rachel could feel Quinn's fingers moving in and out of her. It felt so incredible, she had to look down to actually witness it. She broke the kiss for a moment to look down. It was dark and her underwear was blocking most of the view, but she could see just enough of what she wanted to see. Every time Quinn's fingers moved out of her, she could see her fingers glistening with what Quinn had stirred up inside of her. She couldn't believe how turned on she was just by watching this.

Quinn placed her other hand under Rachel's chin and brought her focus back up to her eyes.

"Tell me again," begged Quinn.

Rachel smiled. "I love you, Quinn."

Quinn's eyes closed, relieved to hear those words as she pushed harder into Rachel as they crashed more forcefully against the tree.

"Again," pleaded a breathless Quinn.

"I love you."

Quinn moved her lips down to Rachel's breast. Her hot breath warmed the perfectly round flesh as she repeatedly flicked her nipple with her tongue. Rachel writhed and moaned at the gesture, so Quinn kept doing it. Rachel knew what she was doing. She was so close to coming and Quinn knew just the way to send her over the edge. The blonde brought their lips together once more. Rachel was dangerously close to screaming out Quinn's name in ecstasy. Part of her was disappointed it was almost over but the other part of her was relieved that her back wouldn't be subjected to any more pain. She continued to move against Quinn's hand, riding it while letting out a trail of whimpers.

"Say it again," demanded Quinn.

Rachel locked eyes with her, refusing to look away. "I'm in love with you, Quinn."

They breathed together, heavily. Both sweating. Both in pain. Rachel's back and Quinn's wrist from the angle she was at. But those words were enough. Enough for both of them. Quinn thrust against Rachel a few more times, each more powerful and passionate than the last. Her fingers exploring every possible realm within Rachel.

And Rachel could feel it. She felt everything Quinn was giving her and right there, in the middle of the night with her pants halfway down her legs, leaning against that tree in the park where she learned to ride her first bike, she orgasmed at the hands of the girl she was in love with. Her entire body pulsated and pounded. Her walls clenched around Quinn's fingers as she finally felt sweet release from everything that had been building up inside of her. Shaking and spasming, she fell forward as Quinn caught her and held her up. She felt Quinn's arms envelop her, keeping her warm and holding her until she could stand under her own weight again.

Quinn smoothed out Rachel's hair as she pulled her bra back up for her. She reached over and grabbed the shirt from the bench and proceeded to put it back on her.

Rachel hissed. "Ouch."

Quinn turned Rachel around and surveyed the damage on her back. It was covered with red marks and bits of bark.

"Oh wow. You're a mess."

"Is it bad?"

"Well, it's not good. I think I got all the bark off, but you're definitely gonna feel that tomorrow."

Rachel grabbed her back in pain. "I feel it now."

"I'm so sorry."

"Don't be. It was worth it." Rachel gave her a sly grin.

Quinn reached out her hand. "Come on. Let's get you home."

As they walked up the driveway to Rachel's house, the porch light turned on the second they got within twenty feet of the front door. Hiram and Leroy were there to greet them the second they walked in. Rachel could feel her entire body sinking. It was way too late for this and she was exhausted. She looked over at Quinn who seemed to be somewhat paralyzed with a frightened look on her face.

"Ladies. How was your evening?"

"Long." Rachel didn't have the patience for more than one-word answers right now.

"Apparently," replied Hiram. "Do you realize it's 2am?"

No, Rachel hadn't realized that. Time ceased to exist when she was around Quinn. Didn't her dads know that?

"I'm so sorry, Mr. Berry," Quinn chimed in. "It was my fault. I wasn't feeling well and I asked if we could walk home from the restaurant instead of driving. It took a lot longer than we expected."

Leroy sat down on the living room couch. Hiram leaned up against the wall in the foyer.

"Well, that's very noble of you Quinn, to admit fault, but I'm pretty sure our daughter knows how to use a phone. Don't you, Rachel?"

"Yes." All Rachel could really think about now was finding some Advil for her back.

"Rachel, honey. You look exhausted. Why don't you go upstairs and get ready for bed while your dad and I have a talk with Quinn," suggested Leroy.

"Wait, what?" There was no way Rachel was leaving Quinn in the lion's den alone. "That's okay, daddy. I'll stay."

"Rachel, we'd like you to go upstairs and get ready for bed. I swear we won't scare Quinn. We just want to have a little conversation with her."

Quinn looked over at Rachel and nodded in approval. "It's fine, Rach. I'll come up and say goodnight before I leave." She looked back at Rachel's dads. "If that's all right with you."

"Of course Quinn." Hiram looked over at his daughter. "Goodnight, sweetie."

Rachel sighed and reluctantly headed upstairs. "Goodnight."

The last words she heard before she was out of earshot were: "Quinn, have a seat. Let's talk."


	16. How Am I Gonna Be An Optimist About This?

Quinn paced back and forth in her kitchen. She could feel two pairs of eyes burning into the back of her head, but she refused to acknowledge them. The phone was pressed tightly to her ear as she tried to make a mental note of everything her agent was telling her.

"Yeah, okay, got it. I know...Sorry, I've been busy..." She opened the fridge and stared into it. She wasn't even remotely hungry, but it was better than having to face the two beings sitting on the bar stools behind her.

"I know...No I wasn't ignoring your call. I just didn't have my phone on me...Yes, I know how important this is." Finally, she closed fridge and caved. She looked back at her parents, who hadn't taken their eyes off of her. "I don't know. Why don't you ask them?"

She tossed the phone at her mom. "She wants to talk to you to confirm everything. I'll be upstairs."

Quinn was rarely so curt with her agent. Nor was she in the habit of letting her calls roll to voice mail, but after months and months of waiting for the call she wanted, now that it finally came, she didn't want to hear those words being uttered.

"Quinnie, when do they need you back?

Quinn stopped and looked back at her mom. "Wednesday."

She dejectedly headed up to her room.

The weekend following the phone call with her agent, coupled by the conversation with Rachel's dads, Quinn spent most of her time agonizing over exactly what she was going to tell Rachel. Eight months ago, that phone call was all she wanted. Now, it was what she most dreaded. As excited as she was to go back to LA to publicize the film, a part of her wanted to avoid it altogether because she couldn't bear the thought of breaking the heart of a certain brunette.

The words of her agent, publicist and manager kept echoing in her head: "It's time, babe. The world needs you. Your head is cleared now, right? You know what's important now." Going back and forth between those words and what Rachel's dads had told her, Quinn could feel her eyes stinging. Yup. It was official. She was crying. Sobbing, really. She sat at the foot of her bed looking around at the boxes she never even bothered unpacking and realized she had one foot out the door since she got here. But now, everything's changed. She was hoping her parents would decide that they wanted to stay, but even she knew that they couldn't get her out of her contractual obligations.

The weight of her tears was too much. Her head fell into her hands and she bawled. It hurt, but at the same time, it felt therapeutic. A sweet release. She knew what she had to do. Her agent was right. Her publicist was right. Her parents were right. Rachel's dads were right. So why did everything feel so wrong?

Quinn would have paid any amount of money to stop Rachel's tears from falling right now. She tried to soothe her with words, but for some reason, everything was coming out wrong. They stood there in Rachel's room, both trying to come to terms with what exactly what happening.

"So that's it?" sobbed Rachel. "You're just gone? In two days you're gonna leave and that's it?"

Quinn didn't know what to say.

Rachel nodded, understanding what Quinn's silence meant. "And you want to break up?"

"I didn't say that!" Quinn insisted.

Rachel laughed through her tears. "Really? Because that's what it sounds like. You say you're leaving. You say that you most likely won't be back and that you don't want to hurt me and that maybe it's for the best that you're going. How is that not breaking up?"

It's true. Quinn did say all that, but the second those words came out of her mouth, she began to have second thoughts. And now she couldn't take a stand either way.

Quinn took Rachel's hand, but Rachel pulled away. So Quinn tried again, slower this time. She eased them both to the bed as they sat, both silently crying.

"Rachel, I told you I wanted to keep you safe. I already broke that promise after what we did in the park the other night. That wasn't smart. I mean, it was amazing and I don't regret it, but…it was a stupid thing to do. Anyone could have seen us. But I can't seem to control myself around you. And the whole paparazzi thing…I shouldn't get you involved in what I have to go though. It's not fun. And it's not fair to you."

Rachel shook her head.

"So nice of you to be the martyr." She looked at Quinn, her eyes red and wet. She was a mess, but Quinn still found her so beautiful.

"I'm not trying to be a martyr, Rach."

"I know you. This is what you do. You get scared and you run. I understand that you have to go. I get it. But telling me that it's for the best? Telling me that you don't want me to get hurt? This is hurting me." She looked away and wiped her eyes. "Killing me, really."

The words were barely above a whisper, but Quinn heard. And she tried not to break down on the spot.

They were silent. Both out of words. Both dejected. Both exhausted. Both in pain. Quinn had no idea things would get so out of control. She wanted to take it all back. Every word. But before she could open her mouth, Rachel uttered the two words she feared the most.

"Get out."

Quinn rolled her head back and looked up at the ceiling. "Rachel, you…"

"I said get out. Now. You want to run? Go. Get out. I have nothing more to say to you. Nothing more to give. You've obviously made up your mind. Get out."

Quinn didn't know what to do, but she knew enough to know that when Rachel Berry uses that tone, it's best to do what she says. Regardless of how painful it may be. And Quinn always told herself she would do whatever Rachel asked. It was always a certain control the brunette had over her. She hated it, especially now. But she kept telling herself this was the right thing to do. It really was. So she got up and walked out, closing the door behind her. And she hoped that Rachel would understand.

\--  
[Flashback]

 

Quinn's feet were dangling off the couch. Either the couch was really deep or she wasn't as tall as she thought she was because at this moment, she felt like a five year old girl being scolded. She felt tiny, like the Berry's couch was going to swallow her whole. She looked back and forth from Leroy to Hiram, waiting for one of them to break the silence.

It was Hiram. He cleared this throat and took a deep breath.

"Can we get you anything, Quinn? Some water?"

Quinn shook her head. She didn't know why. Her throat was dry and water would have really helped alleviate the situation, but instead, she just sat there, unsure of what was in store for her.

"Quinn, you've been a staple in our house for a while now," Hiram began. "And we have loved having you here. I mean, we LOVE having you here. You've been very good to Rachel and we've noticed her passion for singing coming back. We know it's not a coincidence that it started when she met you. You've obviously sparked something inside of her."

Quinn let out a soundless breath. Part of her was relieved while the other part was waiting for the "but."

"But..." interjected Leroy.

...and there it was.

"We've been concerned with other aspects of Rachel's life. Her routine has changed. And we're not saying that's a bad thing. We're all for mixing it up, but it's affected her school work, her extra curricular activities..."

Quinn chose this moment to speak up. "She still dances and is in glee club."

Why she chose to start arguing with them is beyond her.

"Yes, we know," replied Hiram. "We're just getting to the point in a very roundabout way." He stood up and sat down next to her on the couch. "Rachel is the most important thing in our lives. As parents, we never want our kids to feel any kind of pain if we can prevent it. And there are certain people who, while their intentions may be good, tend to bring a certain amount of pain with them. Does that make sense?"

"So, you think I'm going to hurt Rachel?" Quinn was almost insulted by the suggestion. "I would NEVER hurt Rachel."

"We know. Of course you wouldn't. Not intentionally."

"Not unintentionally, either." Quinn could feel her temper start to flare, but she tried to keep it intact.

Leroy closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose, obviously frustrated with the direction the conversation was going.

"We adore you, Quinn. Truly. We know you're a good person with a good heart. And your relationship with Rachel...well, it's a beautiful thing, isn't it? Young love and all that jazz. We get it. We were young once, too."

Quinn couldn't help but flash to that moment when she had Rachel up against the tree. Christ, why does her mind always think of the most inappropriate things as the most inappropriate times?

Focus, Fabray. They're trying to make a point. Stop thinking about Rachel's legs. And the way her hair cascades over her shoulder. And the way she moans when you...

"Your parents called us, Quinn."

That snapped her out of her daze.

"What? When?"

"Tonight. They've called a few times looking for you. Apparently your agent and publicist and manager and whoever else has been trying to get a hold of you, as well."

Quinn lowered her head. "I may have ignored a couple calls tonight."

"Your parents told us that you're needed back in LA. With the premiere coming up, you have obligations and interviews and premieres."

Quinn nodded.

"So it's safe to say your time here is limited," said Leroy.

"I really don't know. I have no idea if my parents even want me to go back."

Leroy chuckled. "Well, based on our phone conversation, it sounds like your mother isn't exactly Lima's biggest fan."

"The point is, we love our daughter. And it's very obvious you do, too. But you're leaving and we can't see her hurt and pining away for you while you're gone."

"It really won't be like that," protested Quinn.

"Do you plan on coming back to live in Lima?"

"My parents were adamant about coming here. Maybe after all this is done, they'll want to keep me here," suggested Quinn, half-heartedly.

"Will you come back to live here on your own volition?"

Quinn shrugged.

"You turn eighteen this summer, right?"

She nodded.

"So where you live will inevitably be up to you. Do you see yourself coming back here? Finishing school at McKinley?"

Quinn swallowed hard. "You know, maybe I will take that water."

Hiram gave her a soft smile and nodded. As he got up to go to the kitchen, Hiram took his place next to her on the couch.

"If you really do care about Rachel, think of her feelings. Think of how she'll feel knowing that you're off God knows where while she's stuck here thinking about you."

Quinn shuddered, trying to fight back a tear.

"We're not saying you should break up. We're just saying put yourself in Rachel's position. Again, we really like and respect you, Quinn. But you have a lot of baggage. You have a lot on your shoulders and we don't know if we want Rachel to have to be dealt such a heavy hand at such a young age."

Hiram returned with the water. Quinn downed it like she had been lost in the desert for a month.

"We just wanted you to get a little perspective. See all sides of the story," explained Hiram.

Quinn nodded. She didn't want to hear anymore. She wanted to go see Rachel. She wanted to curl up with her and hold onto her. She wanted these men to stop talking, because they didn't get it. No one would ever get it. No one would ever know exactly how she feels about Rachel Berry. She knew the only words that would put an end to this conversation.

"I understand."

Leroy nodded and pulled her in for a hug. "Good. You know we're always here for you. We don't want to scare you off with our little conversation."

Quinn nodded and stood up. "I know. Um...I'm gonna go. Can you tell Rachel I said goodnight? I don't want to wake her in case she's asleep."

Quinn knew she wasn't asleep, but the knot in her stomach made her feel like she was going to retch. And she definitely didn't want anyone to witness that. She left with a simple goodbye and thank you, though had no idea what she was thanking them for.

\--

Quinn sat in her car and kept flashing back to her conversation with Hiram and Leroy. Suddenly, nothing they said made any sense. Maybe it did at the time, but now, two hours after leaving Rachel's and wallowing in self pity while parked in the Breadstix parking lot, she thought 'If what they said made so much sense, why does this hurt so badly?' Nothing should ever bring about this kind of pain. Not distance, not circumstances, and certainly not TMZ. It was in that moment Quinn realized just how badly she messed up. And just how badly she needed to make things right.

\--

Tuesday was a bad day. Quinn walked down the halls of McKinley not really caring that, after eight months here, people were still staring at her. She was pretty much over it by this point. 'Yes, there she goes. Quinn Fabray. The stupidest girl on the planet. Hi. How are ya?'

What was she even doing here? She was leaving tomorrow and obviously not finishing out the school year. But she couldn't be home. Her parents hired people to handle all the packing. She couldn't be reminded of leaving. She couldn't be reminded of her conversation with Rachel. And she certainly couldn't be reminded of calling her 42 times with no answer. She even drove by her house, but Rachel's car was gone.

She was hoping Rachel would be at school today. What she hadn't planned for was what suddenly charged around the corner.

She was about twenty feet from the door to her math class when she saw Santana storming up to her.

"What the fuck did you do?"

"Shit," Quinn muttered. This is not what she needed right now. She braced herself for the wrath of Santana Lopez. "Santana, I-"

"You what? Did exactly what you told me you wouldn't do?"

She was in Quinn's face at this point. Quinn had never been in a real fight. She had witnessed several cat fights between certain actresses at certain clubs, but managed to stay away from the violence as much as possible. She also had a few fight scenes in her new film, but she knew none of that experience could prepare her for a Lima Heights throwdown.

"I had no intention of hurting her. I swear it's gonna be okay. I have a plan."

"Is your plan to destroy her even more so she shows up crying at my house in the middle of the night again?"

Quinn flinched, almost certain that Santana's fists were about to fly.

"I just need to talk to her," replied Quinn in a shaky voice.

Santana took a step back, waving a single finger in her face. "Fix it. Or you'll have to explain your mangled face to every reporter who interviews you."

Santana stormed off without another word.

Quinn came down from her adrenaline high five minutes into class. Her math class was uneventful, so she took out her notepad and began furiously writing. The words flew swiftly and poetically onto each page.

"Are you okay?" asked Brittany, who was sitting next to her.

Quinn shrugged. "Not really."

She didn't feel like bringing up the fact that she was just accosted by Brittany's very scary girlfriend.

"Anything I can help with?" She twirled her pencil on her desk, waiting for Quinn's reply.

Quinn thought for a moment. "Actually, yeah. I could definitely use your help. I made a mistake. A huge mistake and I need to fix it."

Brittany smiled and nodded. "I make mistakes all the time. So I'm really good at trying to fix them. What do you need me to do?"

Quinn arched her eyebrow. Oh yes. She definitely had a plan.

By the time she got home from school, the only thing left in Quinn's room were a half-packed suitcase, her bed, and her dresser. The latter two came with the rented house. As for her car, her parents hired someone to drive it back to California for them. Everything was so last-minute, Quinn barely had time to wrap her head around any of it. She sat in her near-empty room and waited, hoping Brittany would be successful in part one of her task. She got up and paced a few times, then sat back down and checked her phone. The sun was nearly setting. Her parents were out right now signing the rental termination papers and she knew they would probably be running a few errands after that, so she didn't expect them home until late. In twelve hours, she would be leaving for the airport. She only had one shot at this, so it had to be just right.

Suddenly, she heard the front door open and shut. She heard one voice yelling and one voice shushing the other one. Quinn was about to go downstairs to see what the hell was going on until she heard pounding on her bedroom door, then a scuffle and a thud. She ran to the door and opened it to find Brittany carrying Rachel over her shoulder. Rachel was trying to wiggle her way out of Brittany's grip.

"Brittany...what are you…what..." Quinn was dumbfounded.

"She pulled my hair a few times. And she's a scratcher." An out-of-breath Brittany displayed the scratch marks on her arm.

"Brittany, put me down!" demanded Rachel.

Brittany looked at Quinn for permission.

"God, yes! Put her down. How are you even that strong?"

Brittany grinned. "I have a lot of muscle."

"Well, put her down! Why are you even carrying her?"

"She refused to go with me. And you said to bring her here by any means necessary. So I did." Brittany leaned down and lowered Rachel to the floor. Rachel leaned on the threshold of the door, looking slightly lightheaded.

Quinn tried to bite back her laughter. It was quite an unusual sight, but she certainly appreciated Brittany's conviction in her efforts.

"Rach, are you okay?"

"What do you want, Quinn?"

"I want to talk."

"Did you really have to send your goon to come get me?"

"Would have come otherwise?"

Rachel didn't answer and defiantly looked away. Yup, this was definitely going to take some serious coaxing from Quinn. She walked over to her bed and grabbed a stack of envelopes, then handed them to Brittany.

"Thanks, Britt. I really appreciate it."

"Any time," replied the cheerio before disappearing down the stairs and out the door.

"What was in the envelopes? Blood money?"

"Will you please sit down?"

"I prefer to stand."

Quinn rolled her eyes. Rachel's stubbornness was warranted, but damn if it wasn't annoying as hell.

"Fine. We'll stand."

Neither of them spoke a word for three full minutes. In that time, Quinn was hoping Rachel would cave and sit down. But it looked like it was going to take a little convincing.

"I love you."

The words hung in the air, just waiting to be received by the fuming brunette.

"Don't," begged Rachel.

Quinn took a step closer to her.

"Come sit with me. Just for a moment."

"No." The diva folded her arms in protest.

Quinn took another step closer until she was just inches away.

"Then I'll just stand here with you. Because I want my last hours here to be spent with you. Whether or not you're speaking to me."

Rachel scoffed. "You really think that's gonna do anything to change my mind?"

Quinn was getting frustrated.

"Rachel, will you please just look on the bed?"

She could see the brunette debating, but knew her curiosity would win out. She peered over Quinn's shoulder at the bed.

"What is that?"

Quinn took Rachel's hand, led her over to the bed and handed her the envelope.

"Open it."

Rachel dropped it back on the bed. "What do you want from me?"

Quinn's frustration was slowly turning to rage. She tried to keep herself calm, remembering she had shattered Rachel's world less than twenty-four hours ago.

"I want you to open the goddamn envelope, Rach."

"You're going to swear at me right now? Really?"

Quinn took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. Look, if you don't want to open it, then fine. But please just listen to what I have to say." She gestured to the bed and Rachel finally sat down.

Quinn breathed deeply.

"I'm tired of living my life based on what everyone else thinks is best for me. No one knows what's best for me. Even I don't. But you feel right. You've always felt right. From the moment I met you, there was something about you that made me feel like I was going to be okay. So I'm making one decision for me. The only one I've ever really made for myself. I want you. I want you in my life. I want you two thousand miles away or two feet away. Whether we're apart for a week, a month, a year. I don't care. I just want you. That is, if you still want to be with me after all I've put you through."

The words 'please say yes, please say yes, please say yes' repeated in her brain like a mantra. It helped fill the silence while trying to figure out exactly what Rachel was thinking. She could see her contemplating. Her hand slowly moved over to the envelope. She said nothing, but opened it slowly.

Quinn's stomach knotted as Rachel pulled out the contents of the envelope. Her heart nearly melted when she was finally greeted with those brown eyes she had missed so much.

"A ticket to Los Angeles?"

Quinn bit her lip nervously and nodded.

"And a ticket to the LA premiere of Ten Stories Down."

Quinn nodded again.

Rachel tried to hide her smile. "So…what? You want me to be your…date…or something?"

Quinn shrugged. "Maybe." She refused to tell her it would have to be covert. Things were still fragile and she really didn't feel like opening that can of worms right now. That was a very good thing for Future Quinn to worry about.

"Think my dads will let me go?"

Quinn felt every worry inside of her finally drain out. It was such a simple question, but it held so much meaning. Maybe everything would really be okay. Maybe Rachel would be able to forgive her.

"Why not? It's in two weeks. You'll be out of school by then. And I don't think they'd deny you the chance to attend the premiere of your friend…at least I hope not."

Rachel looked down at the ticket. "Wait…there's no return ticket."

Quinn knelt down in front of her and took Rachel's hand.

"I figured you can decide when you want to come back. And I'll get you a ticket then."

Rachel put the ticket down and reached out to tuck back a loose strand of Quinn's hair.

"What if I never want to come back?"

Quinn smiled. "That would be fine with me, but your dads might have a problem with it."

The blonde put her head in her girlfriend's lap and closed her eyes. She wanted to take this memory with her. She sighed as Rachel stroked her hair.

"I'll have interviews and press conferences and business to take care of. But I'll also have plenty of free time to show you around." Quinn placed her hands on Rachel's hips and listened to the sound of her breathing. Her pounding heart was finally at rest. She felt whole again. Not longer destroyed. No longer empty.

Rachel pulled her up so they were face to face.

"Thank you."

"For coming to my senses?" Quinn kissed her cheek.

"Well…yes. And for inviting me to visit you. Kind of makes this whole thing easier knowing I'll get to see you in two weeks."

Quinn moved her path down to Rachel's neck. "It's gonna feel like two years."

Rachel moaned. She gripped Quinn's neck and stared deep into her eyes. Quinn knew what that look meant. She knew what was about to happen. Rachel wanted to say goodbye. She wanted to leave them both with something to remember and something to look forward to. And Quinn was all too happy to oblige. She leaned forward and lay Rachel down on her back.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm still mad at you."

"I know. Allow me to begin making it up to you."

Quinn tore off her shirt and lowered herself onto her girlfriend. There were eleven hours until she had to leave. And they were going to take advantage of every single minute.


	17. I Can't Get Next To You

A week had gone by since Quinn left. And as much as Rachel wanted to wallow, she did her best to keep a positive attitude. It wasn't easy, though. Not by a long shot. There was still one week to go until she got to see Quinn and she couldn't go more than a few minutes without being reminded of her somehow. The worst was walking by any sort of newsstand or a grocery store checkout line and seeing Quinn's face plastered on nearly every celebrity magazine. With headlines like "The Golden Girl Is Back!" and "Fabray's New Film Set to Break Records" and "Quinn Fabray Back from Break(down)," it was hard not to get worked up about the whole situation.

She missed her. There was no way around it. Since she left, they had only had three brief phone conversations, two Skype sessions and a few text messages. But it wasn't enough. It would never be enough. She was going crazy checking her phone every ten minutes for a new message. She knew Quinn was busy and didn't want to bother her, but she couldn't help always sending the first text of the day. The time between that first text and Quinn's response was too agonizingly long.

It had been a rough week. Rachel, who normally tried to keep herself as composed as possible, cried every night so far since Quinn's departure. But she tried to maintain her focus and she tried to keep her spirits up. During her last day of Glee club for the year, she sucked it up for the group performance, smiling brightly through every verse and every chorus of Youngblood Hawke's "We Come Running." It actually helped her a bit because it reminded her of her impending flight to LA. The one her fathers so graciously allowed her to accept, under certain conditions.

It was the last day of school and everything felt somewhat bittersweet. But she was definitely ready for the summer and ready to see Quinn again.

Rachel had spent the last twenty minutes cleaning out her locker, going through each individual notebook, folder and textbook thoroughly. She didn't know why. Perhaps it was just a way to pass the time until the final bell rang. The less idle she was, the less she would think about Quinn. But sadly, her plan was failing her. She checked her phone and there was still no response from Quinn from the text she had sent three hours ago. And then Rachel's mind wandered. She thought about Quinn and what she might be doing right now. Who was she with? How was she doing? Was she even thinking about her?

She was about to slam her locker shut in frustration when she noticed an envelope stuck to the top of the locker. She pulled it off and examined it. Tape was stuck to the back and she peeled it off. Upon opening it, she immediately recognized Quinn's handwriting. Her heart suddenly swirled inside her chest as she read the letter.

Rachel,

If you're reading this, then that means Brittany did her job. Remind me to give her a cookie. I owe her one. And if she did her job correctly (for which I will give her two cookies) that means you've found this note in your locker. Which means it's probably the last day of school. Which means I get to see you in a week! Which means a happy Quinn. And a happy Quinn is really the best kind of Quinn there is.

Okay, the cheesiness is out of the way. I just wanted to leave behind a part of myself for you. I know saying goodbye won't be easy, but we've got a lot to look forward to this summer. I can't wait to show you around LA. I know you're a New York kinda girl, but there's no reason to show love for only one coast.

I just got distracted. I'm thinking about your eyes right now. What was I talking about? Okay, I just read the last paragraph. LA and fun and all that stuff. Anyway, I hope you know how much I'm going to miss you. How much I love you. And how much you have changed my life. The old Quinn never would have penned a letter like this. Show my feelings? Please. Not a chance. I tried it once before and it blew up in my face. But I knew you were different. I knew there was something about you from the moment I met you. I could trust you. It took me a while, but I finally came to my senses.

Thank you for always seeing me for who I am. You're beautiful, Rachel. You have a beautiful heart.

I'll see you soon.

Q

Rachel didn't know whether to laugh or cry. She had no idea how Quinn knew that she would find this letter when she needed it the most. But reading those words breathed new life into her. It made her realize that waiting one more week really wasn't so bad. Their passion for each other would only grow stronger...if that was even possible.

Rachel's thoughts soon led to the memory of the night before Quinn left. A memory that brought both heartache and peace.

\--  
[Flashback]

The things Quinn was doing to Rachel's body...it couldn't really be described in words. Because Rachel had never experienced such things before, and therefore words could not be used. She was convinced words for what she was feeling didn't even exist. She wasn't sure if it was the combination of the friction from their bodies, the heat on Quinn's breath, the desperation they both felt, or the sadness that encompassed them. But they all added up to whatever this was. Every touch. Every breath. Every moan. Every feeling was amplified. Quinn's hands took on a life of their own, seeming to be everywhere at once, all over Rachel's body. The room echoed with each sound Rachel made, reminding her of how empty it was and how the bed and its two occupants were the only things that currently remained in this room.

This led to Rachel clinging on to Quinn in any way she could. While the blonde was on top of her, busy exploring Rachel's mouth with her tongue, Rachel's hands gripped her neck tightly and pulled her in closer. Quinn pulled her lips away for a moment and stared down at the girl beneath her. The weight of Rachel's worries were suddenly lifted the moment her eyes met hazel-green ones. She felt a rush of relief as Quinn reached out and brushed a few strands of hair out of her face and down behind her ear.

"It's going to be okay, Rach. I promise."

Rachel nodded, wanting so badly to believe her. So she did. For now, she trusted her. She had no reason not to.

Rachel continued searching Quinn's eyes, trying to hold onto this memory for as long as possible.

"I need to feel you. I want to feel you against me," whispered Quinn.

Rachel's answer was a kiss, bringing her head up to meet Quinn and giving her access to remove her shirt. Slowly, piece by piece, Rachel felt herself becoming undone, untangled, unclothed. Every inch of her skin was becoming more and more exposed. The cool air left goosebumps in its wake. She watched Quinn take the time to explore every unveiled part of her. Like she was studying her.

Rachel lay there, now fully naked. Shaking and cold. Wondering when Quinn would warm her up. She looked up at the blonde pleadingly as Quinn's eyes raked over her girlfriend.

"Well?" asked Rachel.

"Well what?"

"Are you going to make it up to me, or what?" Rachel had no choice but to tease her in this moment. She knew it was the only way to get Quinn to make a move.

She was met with a sly smile as the actress reached behind her back and removed her bra. Rachel's eyes grew wide at the sight. She had to force herself to blink. Quinn was certainly stirring something up inside her. Her insides were in fire. She could feel a nonstop pulsing between her legs. And the second Quinn was fully naked, Rachel felt a sudden gush. Christ, there was no way she was getting out of this unscathed.

The moment Quinn's body lowered onto hers, Rachel could swear she saw God. Okay, so it was really flashing lights and specks and spots, but for all she knew, that's what God looked like. Her body immediately felt warm again. She ran one hand along Quinn's waist and the other along her back and wondered how it was possible that a human being could possibly be this soft. Did she bathe in lotion?

"Why are you so soft?" Rachel couldn't help but wonder aloud.

Quinn chuckled. "Good genes?"

Rachel craned her neck to capture Quinn's lips, each girl humming as their mouths collided. Rachel tugged on Quinn's lower lip with her teeth, then plunged her tongue into the blonde's mouth to taste as much of her as she could.

Quinn's breathing grew heavier and she started grinding against Rachel's thigh. The brunette loved it. She loved knowing how much she could turn her girlfriend on. She deliberately thrust her thigh up to meet Quinn's center and the blonde gasped.

"Fuck..."

"Language," warned Rachel.

"I can't be held responsible for what I...ohhhh shit..." Quinn bit her lip and hissed in pleasure as Rachel thrust her thigh up again.

"You were saying?"

Quinn was panting. Rachel could tell she was starting to lose control and it was very obviously getting to her. Quinn hated losing control. But Rachel decided to push up against the other girl's center one more time and Quinn had to grip the sheets on either side of Rachel's head as her eyes winced shut.

"Rach," she panted, "If you keep that up, this isn't going to last very long."

Rachel pulled Quinn in closer to her. "We have all night. Plenty of time for multiple...rounds."

And with those words, they melted together with Quinn grinding down and Rachel pushing up. Within moments, Rachel could feel the wetness against her leg as Quinn came hard, stringing together some indecipherable words in the process. She held onto Quinn as the blonde tried to recover from her orgasm.

She smiled to herself knowing this was just a precursor of what was to come.

\--

"Hey!"

Rachel jumped and hit her shoulder on her locker door as Santana appeared out of nowhere and snapped her out of her daze.

"Ouch!" She winced and grabbed her shoulder.

"Oh suck it up and rub some dirt on it."

"What do you want, Santana?"

"I want you to stop daydreaming about blondie and come have a little fun with us."

"What makes you so sure I was thinking about her?"

"Um...you've got that glazed over look in your eye. And you look really flush. Like you were thinking about dirty things. I can only deduce that you're thinking about lady sex with the closeted Starlet O'Hara."

Rachel sighed. There really was no point in hiding anything from this girl. She was way too good

"Would you please stop knowing me so well?"

"Hey, it's not my fault you're so annoyingly predictable...anyway, Puck's having a summer kickoff party tonight. Britt and I promised we'd make an appearance. And you're gonna be our date."

"Thanks, Santana, but I'm not really in the mood.

"Yeah, I really don't care if you're in the mood. You're going. A certain blonde who ISN'T Brittany may or may not have made me promise to keep you occupied while she's away."

"I'm not exactly in a party mood right now. I just want to clean out my locker and go home."

"Fine, if you're not going to come to the party, you at least have to come with us to haze the JV cheerios who are moving to varsity next year. We've got shaving cream, gummy worms and a jar of fire ants. You gotta witness this."

Rachel laughed, thinking back on the days Santana used to slushie her and now feeling grateful that fire ants weren't added to the mix.

"Okay," agreed Rachel, feeling slightly guilty about the hell those girls were about to go through. "How can I pass up gummy worms and fire ants?"

\--

"You call us every day. Every single day, you understand?" Hiram placed some folded shirts into Rachel's suitcase.

"Yes dad. Every day."

"And for the love of God, just…be safe, okay? Don't talk to strangers. Don't take rides from people you don't know-"

"Dad, I'm not five. I promise the only way I would get into a car with a stranger is if they have candy."

"Very funny." Hiram rifled through Rachel's closet to see if there was anything they may have missed. "So, I take it you and Quinn are still…you and Quinn."

Rachel didn't look up from her rapidly filling suitcase. "You don't need to worry, daddy."

"That's where you're wrong. I worry. All I do is worry about you. That's my job and my right as a parent. I still can't believe I let your father talk me into this."

"Remind me to give him a much longer hug goodbye than the one I give you."

"Ouch. That's just mean. You got me right here." He jokingly gestured to his heart.

"I know you don't like Quinn."

"Now honey, you know that's the farthest thing from the truth." Hiram sat down on her bed and started arbitrarily throwing socks into the suitcase. "I like Quinn very much. This whole thing just makes us very nervous."

"I'm a big girl. I'll be okay."

"Oh yes. Leroy and I are very aware of that when we hear you crying every night thinking about her."

Rachel tensed up and felt her face turn red. "It was an abrupt goodbye. I wasn't ready for it."

"You're going to have to say goodbye again when you come back home," her father so helpfully reminded her.

"I'll worry about that when the time comes. Can't you just be excited for me? Dad keeps asking me to get pictures of the Hollywood sign and insists I go to the beach and put my feet into the Pacific Ocean."

"Well, your father has always had stars in his eyes. He's a bit of a dreamer."

Rachel nudged for her dad to move so she could get to the pajamas he was sitting on.

"You're a dreamer too, daddy."

Hiram smiled. "Yes, that I am. But my love and concern for you trumps that." He stood up and took a deep breath. "I trust you, honey. And I trust Quinn. And just let me be a paranoid asshole for a while, okay? It's my duty as a father."

Rachel stopped what she was doing. She realized how difficult this was for him. It was his only child's first big trip without him. And he was kind enough to let her go. So she hugged him. It was the least she could do for him.

"So," he playfully tugged her hair, "which dress are you going to wear to the premiere?"

\--

Rachel didn't sleep that night. It wasn't for lack of trying. She was nervous. Nervous about the flight, about seeing Quinn, about being away from home. But mainly nervous about seeing whether or not she could somehow fit into Quinn's everyday life. It sounded like an insurmountable task. Their worlds were so different and even though Rachel had Broadway dreams and wanted the fame and the success that Quinn had, she had yet to experience any of it. What if she were just white noise amongst the chaos of Quinn's life?

She pulled her phone out and texted Quinn. She needed a little bit of reassurance.

"One more sleep..."

It was all she could think to write. She waited patiently for a response.

"This will be the longest night of my life."

Rachel smiled, feeling a little better.

"I keep reading the letter you left in my locker. It helps."

"I'm glad. That was the intention."

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I can't sleep."

"I can't either. But that might be because I'm three hours behind you."

"What are you doing right now?"

"Hot tubbing with Lady Gaga's backup dancers and the guy from the Old Spice commercials. You?"

"After hearing that, debating on cashing in that ticket to LA and just buying a pony."

"Haha. I'm in my hotel room. Looking over some publicity stills to approve. And wishing you were here already."

"What would you do if I were there next to you?"

"Are you flirting with me? Because this could turn really dirty really quickly. I'm already flashing back to two weeks ago."

Rachel smiled to herself. The memory of that night has seeped into her psyche. It was now a part of her.

"I've been doing that every day. See you soon."

"Dream of me."

\--  
[Flashback]

Hours have passed, she was pretty sure of it. But their need for physical contact had only grown stronger in those hours. They were on their fourth round, both exhausted, both emotionally destroyed and both clinging to each other for dear life. Rachel's hands couldn't pull away from Quinn's body. She had to somehow be touching her at all times. Right now, they were exploring the curvature of the blonde's perfect breasts, letting her fingers roam freely, grazing the most sensitive parts and memorizing each passing look of pleasure on Quinn's face.

Rachel was sitting with Quinn straddling her. Her toned stomach was far too alluring to ignore, so Rachel lowered her head and kissed the defined lines of Quinn's torso. How she managed to stay in so much shape while barely working out was baffling to Rachel, but she certainly wasn't going to complain. Especially not at this moment. Her lips trembled as they moved their way up between Quinn's breasts. She replaced her left hand with her lips, taking the soft flesh into her mouth. She used her free hand to hold Quinn's waist for balance. She gently tugged on her nipple using her tongue and her teeth and watched as Quinn seductively ran her fingers through her hair.

"Jesus, that feels incredible."

Rachel beamed with every moan Quinn emitted. She could feel Quinn's breath hitch with each swirl of her tongue against the hard nipple. The more the girl above her gyrated against her, the more relentless she was with her tongue.

Quinn gasped and pulled away. "Oh my God."

Rachel met her eyes. "What is it?"

Quinn panted while looking down at her. "I just…I…need to be inside you. Again."

She pushed Rachel down onto the bed and settled between her legs. Rachel waited and watched as Quinn gazed down at her.

"I don't want this to end."

"Neither do I."

A much-needed kiss followed their declarations. Quinn parted Rachel's lips with her tongue and soon they were lost in each other once again. Rachel couldn't get enough of Quinn's mouth on hers but by now, air was a much needed factor in this scenario. As they broke away, Rachel could still feel her lingering lips.

Feeling Quinn's eyes locked on hers, she suddenly became overcome with emotion and began to tear up. She brought the back of her hand up to her eyes, trying to hide tears.

"Hey," whispered Quinn. "What is this?"

Rachel shook her head. "I'm sorry. I just really don't want you to go."

Quinn's eyes remained fixated on Rachel's as her hand slowly moved down her stomach.

"Please don't cry, Rach." Her fingers trailed down between Rachel's thighs and began tracing small patterns along the inside of her leg.

"Please don't leave," begged Rache, and, immediately, the look on Quinn's face changed from concern to sadness to heartbreaking desperation. It came without warning, but suddenly Rachel jolted, feeling herself completely filled with Quinn as her girlfriends fingers slid inside of her. She arched her back as they kept their eyes on each other. The tears were flowing freely down Rachel's face now. There was no use hiding it. She wasn't quite sure what was happening to her. Her body, her emotions. Everything was completely beyond her control. She felt the lump in her throat grow larger with each movement Quinn made above her.

Their bodies fell into a rhythm as their foreheads pressed together, keeping each other grounded with their eyes.

With each thrust, Quinn would repeat the words "I love you."

With each thrust, Rachel would respond with "Please don't leave."

Each of them repeated the words like a mantra, until they became a part of them, a part of this moment. Rachel not wanting to let her go and Quinn not wanting Rachel to forget how she feels about her.

As each stroke of Quinn's fingers grew faster and harder, Rachel could feel something building up in the pit of her stomach. She felt Quinn deep inside of her, and wanted to hold on to this feeling for as long as she could. She could feel herself tighten around Quinn's fingers, trying to keep that feeling at bay. She wrapped her legs around Quinn's waist and held on as tightly as she could.

She tasted salt on her tongue and the moment she realized Quinn was crying, too, was the moment it all became too much. Rachel grabbed her neck and pulled her in to a deep kiss. She felt the wetness on her face as their tears mixed together.

Soon, Quinn's "I love yous" turned into "I'm sorry."

And Rachel's "Please don't leave" turned into "It's okay."

It only took a few more thrusts before Rachel's body took on a life of its own. Her deep breathing turned to moaning, and her quiet sobs turned into screaming as ecstasy took over and filled her with an intensity she had never felt before. It flowed through her entire body as she shuddered with both pleasure and pain. Once her body went limp, Quinn slowly removed her fingers and then collapsed on top of her, breathing heavily. Pieces of Quinn's hair were tangled around Rachel's fingers as they lay there, listening to each other's breath because at this point, there was really nothing left to say.

\--

The next morning, Rachel was up before her alarm clock even went off. She walked downstairs with her suitcase in hand and was surprised to see her dads still in their bathrobes.

"Um…my flight leaves in two hours."

"Good morning to you, too, sweet daughter."

"Good morning. Why aren't either of you ready? I said 9am exactly. It's now 9:02."

Leroy took a bite of his bagel. "Your ride is already here, sweetie. Waiting for you outside. Besides, if either of us took you, we would just be a wreck having to say goodbye at the airport. So we'd rather do it in the comfort of our own home in our own bathrobes and wallowing on our own couch. So why don't you come here and give us a hug?"

Rachel put her suitcase down and hugged each of them.

"I love you."

"Love you too, honey. Please be safe."

"Wait, so who's my ride?"

Hiram shrugged. "Have fun. And don't forget to-"

"Call every day. I know."

Rachel grabbed her suitcase and walked out the door. She smirked when she saw Santana in her driveway leaning ever-so-cooly against her car. Her aviator sunglasses were hanging off the collar of her shirt. Brittany popped her head out of the backseat window.

"Hi Rachel! You get shotgun! I lost to myself in rock, paper, scissors."

Rachel cocked her head to the side and smugly stared down Santana.

"Wanted to see me one last time, huh?"

Santana shook her head in disgust. "Whatever, Berry. Throw your bag in the trunk and let's go."

Rachel didn't budge. Santana's answer simply wasn't good enough for her.

Santana sighed. "I figured you could use a lift. I didn't really have anything better to do and Brittany loves airports. She likes watching the planes take off. Who am I to deny her that?"

Rachel smiled sweetly. "I'll miss you too, Santana."

"Shut up. Now give me a stupid hug so we can get on our way."

Rachel let the Latina envelop her in a genuinely heartfelt embrace.

"Don't get taken, okay? And if you do, just talk your kidnapper to death. It's your only weapon." She pulled away from the hug, put on her sunglasses and got into the driver's seat. "Now get in the car before somebody comes after your Lucky Charms."

"I really can't tell you how much I'm going to miss you, Santana," said Rachel as she got into the car.

"Can we go see the airplanes now," asked an excited Brittany.

"Yes, baby. We can go see the airplanes now."


	18. I Will Take This Old Plane To Get To You

The moment Rachel stepped off the plane at Los Angeles International Airport, the nerves from the flight turned to pure excitement over the thought of seeing Quinn again. She trudged her way to the baggage claim area, looking around for where she was supposed to go. Quinn had emailed her specific instructions. After she picked up her luggage, she was to head over to the limo service area where someone would be waiting with a town car. She studied conveyor belt number three as the bags from her flight slowly made their way down the ramp. She watched and waited, searching for the deep crimson suitcase with the bright pink luggage tag.

When she finally got her bag, she walked out the glass doors and looked around, not really sure what she was even looking for. There were several town cars and SUVs lined up, along with many drivers holding signs of their clients' names. She scanned each name carefully until she came across the word Berry with a gold star next to it. When she saw who was attached to the sign, her heart sped up and her smile grew wide. There was Quinn, clad in black slacks, a fitted black blazer, a chauffeur's cap and sunglasses. She was even wearing white gloves. The gray tie around her neck hung loosely and Rachel was pretty sure this was the hottest Quinn had ever looked. That infamous smirk appeared on the blonde's face, and though Rachel couldn't see her eyes, she was sure they were lit up behind those sunglasses.

Rachel hurried her way over to Quinn, careful not to make any physical contact no matter how badly she wanted to. Quinn had to make the first move. And she did. She dropped the sign and ran into Rachel's arms. The brunette really didn't know what to expect. She wasn't even expecting Quinn to be there. The last she heard, the actress was booked all day. But here she was. In the flesh. With her arms wrapped tightly around her. And Rachel felt whole again.

Quinn pulled away, but still kept her hands clenched around Rachel's arms. Rachel watched as the blonde bit her lip and looked her up and down. Rachel knew. She knew what Quinn was thinking because she was thinking the exact same thing. But no matter how badly both of them wanted to give into temptation, a kiss was simply out of the question right now. Sure, she was rather cleverly disguised, but who's to say someone won't recognize her? Even in this unconventional outfit.

Their mouths still lingered inches apart from each other, neither one wanting to pull away just yet.

"What are you doing here? I thought you wouldn't be free until tonight."

"I rescheduled some things. Did you really think I wouldn't be here to greet you?"

"Won't you get in trouble?"

"I'm always in trouble in some way or another."

Rachel had to use every ounce of strength she had not to cover that three-inch gap between their lips. Quinn's allure was becoming way too much for her. Thankfully, Quinn seemed to catch on to Rachel's predicament and finally let go and backed away.

"Shall we?"

Rachel nodded as a tall, well-built, muscular man with blond hair and a receding hairline hopped out of the car and grabbed Rachel's suitcase.

"Rachel, this is Lance. He's my driver. I mean, not officially, but I always use him whenever I need to get somewhere and I don't want to drive. LAX is an overwhelming place for anyone who's picking someone up."

"Nice to meet you, ma'am." Lance sort of half nodded and half bowed in her direction.

"Nice to meet you, too."

Quinn took off her hat and white gloves and handed them back to Lance. "Thanks for letting me borrow these, by the way. I think it really helped round out the costume."

"You're welcome, Ms. Fabray," he said as he put his hat back on.

"I might have to keep the tie, though."

Rachel leaned over and whispered, "Please do."

"Of course, Ms. Fabray. Now let's get you out of here before someone recognizes you."

He opened the door for the girls and then walked around to the driver's side.

"He's very protective of me. I've known him for years," explained Quinn. "He actually used to be in the Secret Service, but retired after getting injured. So now he works as a driver and likes to fancy himself my bodyguard."

"Must be nice feeling protected like that," said Rachel. "I know it makes me feel better knowing that someone is watching out for you."

As they headed out of the airport and toward the freeway, Rachel could feel Quinn watching her and got chills Quinn placed her hand on top of her own.

"I've missed you so much."

The words were simple, but enough to make Rachel crave her in a way that she's never experienced before. Soon. They would be alone soon. And in the meantime, she would just have to hope that Lance would only be focusing on the road and not on their hands blatantly touching on the seat between them.

\--

"It's huge," exclaimed Rachel as she went from room to room, exploring Quinn's villa at the Sunset Marquis hotel. "We're staying here?"

Quinn chuckled. "Yeah. I don't really have a permanent place out here, so this will have to do for now. Everything kind of happened so fast."

Rachel continued exploring the two-bedroom villa. "There's a hot tub in the bathroom!"

"Yes, there is," answered Quinn nonchalantly.

Rachel walked back into the main room where Quinn was still standing.

"Listen, Miss I'm-So-Used-To-Hot-Tubs-In-Bathrooms-I'm-Not-Even-Fazed-By-It, this hotel suite is bigger than my house. You can at least pretend to be as excited as I am."

Quinn reached out and pulled Rachel into her.

"It's not bigger than your house." She leaned in and kissed Rachel. It was the first one they had shared in two weeks. And it was perfect. "And I am excited. But more about the thought of you IN the hot tub than the fact that it's in the bathroom."

Rachel rested her head on Quinn's shoulder and sighed. It felt amazing feeling the blonde's arms around her again. Her hand ran over the smooth texture of Quinn's shirt as she started placing kisses along her shoulder and neck. Quinn hummed in response.

"Welcome to Los Angeles."

"Thanks. I quite like it so far."

"You haven't seen anything yet."

Rachel pulled away and sat on the armrest of the couch. "Oh, I've seen enough to know I'm going to enjoy my time here."

"Is that so?"

Rachel nodded and looked around once more. "So...which room is mine?"

Quinn almost snorted, she laughed so hard. She closed the gap between them and Rachel was immediately entranced when Quinn leaned down against her.

"You're funny."

"Am I?"

Quinn kissed her once more. This time, more passionately. Rachel almost fell backwards onto the couch, but managed to regain her footing. They pulled apart and Rachel watched as Quinn studied her.

"Well, that's my room," she nodded toward the master bedroom. "You're welcome to stay in whichever room you feel most comfortable in."

Rachel nuzzled against Quinn's neck. She forgot how much she missed the simplest things about her.

"Where are your parents? They're not staying here?"

Quinn shrugged. "They're probably out looking for a new place to live. I haven't really spoken to them since yesterday. The studio is putting me up here during the promotional run. My parents prefer the Hilton, so that's where they're staying."

Rachel sank further back onto the armrest. "So they're just letting you stay here? On your own?"

"It's not an uncommon thing. I had a feeling once we got back here, things would go back to the way they were. They'd be absent until they needed something or a contract needed to be signed and I'd be on my own. I think they're convinced that our stint in Ohio 'fixed' whatever they thought was ailing me."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. I prefer it this way. And it won't matter anyway. I'll be eighteen soon so I won't have to answer to them anymore."

"Just your agent."

Quinn chuckled. "And my publicist. And manager. Yes. I guess I'll always have to answer to someone."

Rachel felt her pulse speed up when Quinn tried to end that conversation with another kiss. Only this one was too powerful for her. She lost her balance and fell back onto the couch with her legs hooking over the armrest. She grabbed onto the gray tie Quinn was wearing and pulled the blonde down with her. Quinn braced herself with her hands on either side of Rachel and hovered over her for a moment before crawling on top of her, placing chaste kisses along her jaw line.

"Are you hungry?"

Rachel shook her head while enjoying the feel of Quinn's lips against her skin.

"Thirsty?"

Again, she shook her head.

"Tired?"

Rachel paused for a moment. She didn't sleep on the plane and she barely got any sleep the night before. The excitement was too much and now it was all catching up to her.

"A little."

"All right. Why don't you go take a nap for a bit. We've got plenty of time to catch up."

"Are you sure?" Rachel yawned.

"Yeah. I've got some work to do, anyway." She placed a kiss on Rachel's forehead, got up off the couch and helped Rachel up. "The bed is really comfortable. You'll be asleep in minutes."

Quinn wasn't kidding. Once Rachel crawled into the bed, she was asleep before Quinn even closed the door.

-

The room was completely dark when Rachel opened her eyes. Somehow she ended up on her stomach with her head underneath the pillow and her arm hanging off the bed. She looked around, her eyes heavy with sleep. It may have been dark, but it didn't take long before she realized she was alone. She heaved a huge sigh, rolled over on her back and brought her arm up, trying to rid it of that tingling feeling. After gaining her bearings, she got out of bed and crept toward the light coming from the crack underneath the bedroom door.

Clad only in shorts and a loose-fitting tank top, she opened the door to find Quinn sitting at the table, reading what looked like a script. She was curled up in the chair, her hair pulled back into a messy ponytail and covered by the hood of her baggy sweatshirt. Her face was completely free of makeup and Rachel was almost embarrassed that it took her this long to learn that Quinn wore reading glasses. She had never seen them before.

Rachel stared for a minute in awe. She wished she had a camera at this moment because this was the most real and most relaxed she had ever seen Quinn. It was undeniably charming, and also insanely attractive.

"Good morning, sunshine," said Quinn, who didn't even look up from her script.

"It doesn't look like morning," she replied, rubbing her eyes.

"It's 10:00pm."

"I napped for six hours?"

Quinn nodded, making notes on the script in front of her.

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"Oh, believe me. I tried. You're a hard sleeper. I gave up after a few minutes. I figured it's best that you're rested because the next few days are gonna be a bit hectic."

Rachel rubbed her forehead, trying to hide her embarrassment. "Yeah, sorry. When my sleep schedule changes, all hell breaks loose."

She walked over to the couch and plopped down, trying to will Quinn to look at her.

"Interesting read?"

Quinn shrugged. "It's okay."

Rachel placed her head in her hand and continued to gaze at Quinn.

"Cute glasses."

Quinn immediately stiffened, then quickly took her glasses off. "Shit. I forgot I was wearing them."

"Are you embarrassed?"

"No one's ever seen me in them. They're only for reading."

"I think they're cute."

Quinn finally looked over at Rachel. "Hungry?"

"Starving."

"Come join me. I ordered room service."

Rachel walked over to the table, but before she could sit down, Quinn grabbed her hand and pulled her onto her lap. Rachel leaned her head against Quinn's neck, enjoying the warmth emanating from her body.

Quinn chuckled as she smoothed out Rachel's hair.

"Your hair is pretty."

"Oh God, it's a mess, isn't it?"

"Only a little. But I like it. I dig this 'just woke up' look."

Rachel pulled the hood off of Quinn's head. "You're one to talk."

Before Quinn could offer any kind of retort, Rachel silenced her with a kiss. She knew Quinn was caught off guard by the muffled sound she made, but soon enough, they both easily fell into the kiss like it was the most natural thing in the world. And really, it was. For them, kissing each other was second nature. But each time was exponentially different. It felt different, it tasted different, it elicited different reactions, different sounds, different emotions. But it always felt safe. And real. And right. And at this moment, cuddling on Quinn's lap with her body leaning against the blonde's, it felt like home.

After a late dinner, Quinn decided she had done enough reading and Rachel was still exhausted from her flight. They fell asleep soon after.

\--

Quinn wasn't kidding when she said the next few days would be hectic. Between the interviews, photo shoots and various promotional events, Quinn made sure to carve out some time to show Rachel around. She took her hiking through Griffith Park, they posed in front of the Hollywood sign, they ate at some of Quinn's favorite restaurants. Rachel enjoyed every minute of it. Even watching Quinn sit for hours getting her makeup done for whatever event she was preparing for.

One morning, Rachel was awoken at 5:00am by her girlfriend, insisting that she get up and dressed at once.

"Why?" asked a sleepy Rachel.

"We have to beat the tourist crowd."

"The tourist crowd?"

"Yeah. Trust me. We're gonna do some really cheesy touristy stuff today. You'll love it. Then I have an interview with Access Hollywood this afternoon. So I want to start the day as soon as possible."

As much as Rachel wanted to spend the morning curled up with Quinn, the excitement in Quinn's face forced her to get up and get dressed.

They stopped for some coffee on the way and the dawn light was slowly breaking through by the time they reached their destination. Once they parked, Rachel followed Quinn, gripping her coffee with both hands in order to keep herself from taking Quinn's hand. Granted, there was barely anyone around at this hour, but they were a long way from Lima and Rachel wasn't about to take any chances.

When they approached a courtyard with cement blocks, Rachel instantly knew where they were.

"Oh, is this Grauman's Chinese Theatre?" she asked excitedly.

"Yup. Although technically I think it's now called TCL Chinese Theatre. But yes, I think it's safe to just call it Grauman's."

"Wow. This really is cheesy and touristy." She looked around at each name and signature carved in the cement. "There are so many hand prints!" She started rummaging through her bag. "I have to take pictures. Daddy Leroy will love this!"

"Here," Quinn took Rachel by the hand and guided her over to the left back corner and positioned Rachel right where she wanted her. "Okay. Look down."

Rachel was delighted to see she was standing in the footprints of Natalie Wood.

"Wow."

"I know how much you love West Side Story. Thought you'd like this."

Rachel beamed. "Her feet are so tiny!" She knelt down and placed her hands in the cold cement. "My hands are a perfect fit."

"Here, let me get a picture of you for Leroy," offered Quinn.

"I can't believe Natalie Wood stood on this spot. It's such an amazing feeling."

Quinn grinned. "Well if you like this, then you'll love this. Come on."

Rachel flinched only for a moment when Quinn grabbed her hand again, but when she looked around and saw the few people that were there weren't even paying attention, she felt more at ease. As recognizable as Quinn was, it was still pretty early in the morning and Quinn was wearing her sunglasses and still had her hair tied back. It made things a little less inconspicuous. Quinn dragged her over to the Walk of Fame area where celebrities were immortalized with stars on Hollywood Boulevard.

"Well?" asked Quinn.

"Well what?"

"What do you think?"

Rachel looked down and her jaw dropped. There in gold, capital letters was the name Barbra Streisand.

"Holy. Shit." Rachel looked at Quinn. "Barbra stood on this very spot when she got her star."

Quinn nodded, looking quite pleased with herself.

"Oh my God." She studied the star for a few minutes, bending down to feel the smooth marble. "Do you think she ever comes by and looks at it? Like...maybe we'll see her today?"

Rachel was only being half serious, but still waited for Quinn's response.

"No, Rach. No she doesn't come by and look at it. She's Barbra. But you're very cute for asking in such a hopeful tone."

"Hey, you can't make fun of me for being naive about this stuff!"

"I'm not! I think it's adorable." She nudged Rachel's shoulder with her own. "By the way, you see that theater?" She pointed to the building that the foot and handprints lead to.

"Yeah."

"That's where the premiere will be." The gestured left and right. "This whole section of Hollywood Boulevard will be closed off. There will be a red carpet probably right...here." She stood and pointed where the carpet would likely be. "And my guess is, the press line will be right over here."

"Sounds very glamorous."

"Well, I am a classy lady. Now let's get out of here. I need some chili cheese fries badly."

\--

Rachel was picking a few grapes off the fruit plate in the greenroom of the Access Hollywood studio. She looked around to see if anyone would care that she snuck a few. No one did. They were all surrounding Quinn, touching up her makeup and hair, seeing which belt accented her dress better, and basically waiting on her hand and foot. It was quite a sight. Especially when Quinn peered around her makeup artist and rolled her eyes at Rachel over how ridiculous the situation was. Rachel smiled and popped a few more grapes into her mouth and grabbed an apple.

At first, Rachel was nervous to come with her to the interview. She was afraid everyone would be asking "Who's this girl? Why is she even here?" But apparently bringing an entourage isn't an uncommon practice for certain celebrities. Quinn had listed Rachel as her personal stylist for security clearance. Basically, she just wanted Rachel to tell her she was pretty and then her job was done.

She took a seat on one of the couches and thumbed through a few of the magazines on the table in front of her as Quinn's publicist was going over pre-approved questions with Quinn.

One of the show's producers came in to announce the interview would start in five to ten minutes. As he left, the room stayed quiet and Rachel kicked herself for choosing this exact moment to take a bite of her apple. The loud crunch had everyone turning to stare at her. She froze, unsure of what to do. Keep chewing and make noise or just pretend there's nothing in her mouth?

"Thorry," she offered, with her mouth full.

They all immediately went back to what they were doing, all talking amongst themselves about nothing in particular.

Why was Rachel so nervous? It wasn't HER that was about to be interviewed. Still, there was an uneasy feeling inside of her as she watched the team of people swarming over Quinn. Were they fawning over her? Or hovering like vultures? Either way, it gave her a newfound respect for Quinn and all the shit she had to deal with on a daily basis. But Quinn's composure proved that she was used to it and a complete professional.

The producer came back in, whispered something to Quinn's publicist and shook her hand.

"Okay, Quinn. We're ready for you. Go ahead and follow me."

Quinn stood up. Rachel wasn't really sure what she was supposed to do. She moved to get up, but stayed somewhat hovered over the couch waiting for a cue.

"Just hang out here. This won't take long," said Quinn.

Rachel nodded.

One of the production assistants turned on the TV in the greenroom.

"Here. You can watch the interview on the monitor."

"Oh, thanks. Do you know if this is airing tonight?"

"No. I think it's planned to air tomorrow" replied the production assistant before she walked out the door to join the others for the interview.

Rachel was left alone, which was kind of a relief for her. She watched the monitor as they set Quinn up in a chair that sat across from the interviewer. They tested the microphone levels, did a few makeup touch ups for both of them and the interview began soon after.

"So, Quinn. Let me start by saying welcome back. I heard you had an extended stay in Ohio."

Quinn nodded and smiled. "Thanks. It feels really good to be back."

"There was a lot of speculation as so why you left so abruptly. You left the show, finished filming you movie and then took a long break away in a small town. What exactly were you doing in Ohio?"

"Resting, mainly. I needed a little time away. My parents agreed it was the best thing for me at the time and, while I originally hated the idea, I think it was really good for me. We have some family there, so it was also good to see them."

Rachel continued to watch, holding on to every nuanced reaction from Quinn. God, she looked beautiful.

"What sort of events led to you parents moving you out there? There were some rumors that you were- "

"Miss Fabray is here to talk about her film. Nothing more." Her publicist chimed in before the interviewer could get another word out.

Rachel felt a wave of relief wash over her. Poor Quinn. Constantly being grilled about why she was away. Or being talked about or having rumors run rampant about her. Rachel found herself clenching her fists in anger and frustration.

"Okay. Fair enough. Let's just go in a different direction. Your co-star..."

Rachel could feel the blood drain from her face. Where was this going?

"Mason Parker, he plays your boyfriend in the film, right?"

"Yes. He was so wonderful to work with."

"Do you have any comment on the rumors that you two are an item?" The interviewer leaned in, as if hoping to get some inside scoop.

"There is no truth to that, I can assure you. He's a great guy. We had a lot of fun on set, but it was strictly platonic."

"There are a few other eligible guys you've been linked to. Are you dating anyone at the moment?"

Rachel didn't understand how this question was related to the film and was waiting for the publicist to chime in. But she was also curious to see how Quinn would respond.

"Well, to be honest, I like to keep my private life private."

Rachel continued to watch intently as each question was asked. What was your favorite part about working on the film? Did you do your own stunts? Do you miss your co-stars from Outside Hearts? How does Ohio compare to Los Angeles? She was annoyed at how often he went off topic from the film, but Quinn's publicist wasn't speaking up.

"Who do you plan on bringing as your date to the premiere?"

Quinn shifted slightly in her chair and smoothed out her dress. "I'm actually going with a group of people. My lovely publicist over there is going. My parents are going. And a few others. I really just want to be surrounded by those who love me." Quinn chose this moment to look into the camera. "And the people I love."

Rachel had to look away at the screen. She could feel herself blushing. It was sweet and considerate of Quinn to involve her in that answer in some way. Even if it wasn't outright. It was enough to remind Rachel of how much Quinn cared.

"Well that should be fun," offered the interviewer. Rachel hadn't managed to catch his name. "Did you find transitioning from television to film difficult?"

"Not difficult, but it was definitely different. The schedules are a little more intense and there's really no rhyme or reason to the call times. But the pace is a little slower than television. With TV, there's a weekly deadline we have to meet. In film, we can take our time. Make mistakes every once in a while."

"Do you make a lot of mistakes? Is there a blooper reel out there somewhere for the film?"

Quinn laughed. "Oh I'm sure there are plenty of bad takes. I stumbled on my words quite a bit and there was one time where I ran into a door because I couldn't get it to open. Sadly, they got that on film."

The interviewer laughed along with the story. "I would love to see that!"

"I'm sure everyone else would, too. Maybe it'll see the light of day one day. Time will tell."

"Now, in regards to your tenure in Ohio, there were a few photos taken of you with an unidentified brunette."

Rachel couldn't breathe. Somehow all the air had escaped her lungs. She kept her eyes on Quinn.

"I'm not sure what pictures you're referring to. But I can tell you, there are a lot of pictures of me with other people. Fans ask for photos with me. Friends take photos with me."

"Well, I hate to bring up the rumor mill again, but I wanted to know if you could comment on the girl in this photo."

He handed her a photo and Rachel couldn't really see it but she was almost positive it was the one that ended up on TMZ.

Quinn studied it. "Oh yeah, she's a friend of mine from Ohio. I think we were seeing a movie or something here."

"Well, there were some internet reports that-"

"Okay, I'm going to stop you there," interrupted Quinn's publicist. "This wasn't on the list of pre-approved questions and as I previously told you, Miss Frabray is only here to talk about her film. So if you have no more questions pertaining to the film, we'd like to conclude the interview."

The interviewer looked humbled. "Of course. I 'm sorry. I just wouldn't be doing my job if I didn't ask. I hope you understand." He reached his hand out to shake Quinn's. "Good luck with the film and I hope you have a great time at the premiere. Stop by and say hi because Access Hollywood will be covering it."

Quinn shook his hand. "Thank you. Absolutely, I'll be sure to stop by."

By the time Quinn pulled her microphone off and walked back into the green room, Rachel felt like she was going to faint. Quinn obviously took notice.

"Hey, are you okay? You're completely white."

"I..." Rachel couldn't look her in the eye. She was terrified over what Quinn might be feeling. Was he actually going to ask her about what their relationship was? Or was he just curious about her "Ohio friend?"

"Come on." Quinn led her down the hall to the bathroom. Rachel held her head over the sink as Quinn got a paper towel wet and began to dab Rachel's face and neck with it.

"It's okay, Rach. That's what Sara's there for. To keep the media in check."

There was a quiver in her voice that Rachel noticed. She was just as nervous about it, but was too concerned about Rachel to let it show.

"Maybe I shouldn't have come."

Quinn tossed the paper towel in the trash. "Don't say that. I want you here. I'm so glad you're here. People are going to ask questions. They always do. About everything. It doesn't mean I have to answer. And my team is really good at deflecting things. I mean, they all unofficially know why my parents moved me to Ohio, but we've never actually talked about it. I don't think anyone really knows what to say. All they know is dollar signs. How to save their commodity. How to brand and sell me."

"God, that sounds awful." Rachel wiped a few drops of water from her face and turned to look at Quinn.

"Don't get me wrong. It's about acting, too. But they have to know how to market something. My job is to act. Their job is to keep me relevant and out of trouble."

"And you're okay with being used like that?"

"Well, in a way, I guess I'm using them, too." She put her hand on Rachel's shoulder. "I don't want you to worry about any of this. Please. I just want you to enjoy your time here. In fact, I have a little surprise for you tomorrow."

Rachel's curiosity outweighed her outrage. "Oh yeah? What's that?"

Quinn gave her a teasing peck on the cheek.

"You'll see."


	19. Forcing Laughter, Faking Smiles

Quinn peered over across the darkly lit room and was immediately met with Rachel's eyes. Quinn made it a point to look over at her every few minutes to make sure she was okay and enjoying herself. The music, the incense, the candles, the smell and feel of essential oils - all the elements had set the scene for a relaxing evening. The two of them didn't say anything for a while. Really, there was nothing to say at the moment. All they could do was enjoy the massage each of them was getting at the premiere Beverly Hills spa location.

Quinn watched as Rachel closed her eyes sighed. Apparently, she was doing just fine and after a while, the blonde was starting to wonder if Rachel was making those moaning sounds because she was enjoying the work of the massage therapist or if she was slowly trying to drive Quinn insane. Either way, Quinn could feel herself starting to get worked up. She raked her eyes over the towel that covered Rachel, hoping to catch a glimpse of something...anything. She cleared her throat and adjusted herself to get a little more comfortable on her stomach while trying to relax and enjoy her own massage.

She was glad she was able to do this for Rachel. It was one of the many perks she was allotted, completely paid for by the studio as a means of relaxing before the premiere. She knew having Rachel here could pose a few problems, but she didn't care. She was just thankful they were together again.

"Rach?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm glad you're here."

A small pause was followed by, "Me too."

A few more minutes of silence passed and then their session was over. As they were left alone to meditate and relax, Quinn decided to take this opportunity to prep Rachel for tomorrow's premiere.

"Are you nervous?"

Rachel stretched her arms out in front of her while still on her stomach. She released a contented sigh.

"Are you?"

"Not really. It's not my first rodeo, you know."

"You seem nervous. Is it because I'm here?"

Over the past few months, Quinn had quickly learned that Rachel didn't often beat around the bush when she wanted to know something. And she was annoyingly almost always right.

"I just...I don't want you to be uncomfortable in any way. I'll be busy and I'll be pulled in different directions and told where to stand and who to pose for and with and what entertainment outlets to speak to. I don't want you to feel like I'm abandoning you or anything."

Quinn was frightened by how open and honest Rachel Berry had made her.

"I'm a big girl, Quinn. I can take care of myself. I know you're going to be the center of attention tomorrow. I have every intention of just standing back and watching you while beaming with pride. You know...as your 'personal stylist.'"

Quinn didn't really know how to react to that last part. It was a topic they had both managed to avoid until now. She pushed herself up from the massage table, covered herself with the towel and sat with her feet dangling over the edge.

"You don't have to be my 'personal stylist.' It was just a suggestion from my publicist. Just come as..."

"Your friend?"

Quinn closed her eyes and took a deep breath, hoping this wasn't about to turn into an argument.

"Right now, that's all people can think we are, Rach. I'm sorry. I really am. Between my parents, my team, the media...it's just easier for now."

Quinn braced for the worst.

"It's okay, Quinn. I understand." Rachel followed suit and sat up, the towel hanging loosely over her front, teasing Quinn just enough.

"You do?"

"I see how everyone around you has been on your case about everything. What to wear, what to say, how to act. I can be your friend. I pretty much knew that was going to be the case before I even came out here."

Quinn jumped up, secured the towel around her and walked over to Rachel.

"Why are you so perfect?" Quinn placed a kiss on her cheek and traced her index finger down to the top of Rachel's towel, tugging on it slightly.

Dark brown eyes stared back at her guiltily.

"I'm not perfect. I do kind of wonder about something."

Quinn's finger stopped tugging on the towel, but still lingered there.

"What is it?"

Rachel took a moment. "You had told me before that the girl you were with...your co-star on Outside Hearts...you told me that you were willing to come out for her. That you didn't care what anyone thought or what it meant for your career. You were willing to give it all up for her."

Quinn lowered her eyes. She knew where this was going.

"So...why not me?" Rachel's words were barely audible. Quinn knew it was a tough question to ask. "Did you..." Rachel fidgeted with her hands. "...did you care about her...I mean...did you love her more than you do me?"

"No." It was Quinn's immediate reaction because it was one hundred percent true. "No. That's not it at all." She brought her eyes back up to meet Rachel's and placed a hand on her cheek. "With her...it was different. I was different. I was selfish, in a way, because I wasn't thinking about what she wanted. Only what I wanted. And with you...I know it seems like I'm being selfish by not coming out, but I just don't want you to have to live under the same microscope as I do. And I know that it also has a lot to do with my career and my reputation and, yes, that's selfish of me. But please don't ever think that it's because I don't love you. Yes, she was my first. But you..." Quinn kissed her gently on the lips. "You're my everything."

She felt naked. Granted, she was naked under the towel, but she felt exposed and raw and scared and completely helpless because that's how Rachel made her feel. All the time. It was different and exhilarating and terrifying. And that's something nobody has ever made her feel before.

Rachel's beaming smile seemed to light up the dark room.

"You're lucky you're so good with words, Quinn Fabray."

"Did I win?"

"You won."

Quinn leaned in to kiss her, but Rachel dodged her advances.

"Friends don't kiss, Quinn."

She was playing dirty. It wasn't fair. So Quinn decided to fight fire with fire. Instead of arguing, she simply dropped her towel and stood naked in front of an awestruck Rachel.

"That's a shame," teased Quinn as she leaned forward to whisper in her ear, her nipples grazing against Rachel's towel. "Because I had some fun plans for us." She lingered for a moment and snaked her tongue out into Rachel's ear.

The brunette groaned in ecstasy. "Well...maybe we can make an exception."

Quinn pulled away and picked up her towel from the floor.

"Good! I'll remind you that you said that." She turned to walk towards the robe that was hanging on the door.

"Wait. That's it?" asked a frustrated Rachel.

"We've been in here a while, Rach. They're gonna think we fell asleep or something. Come on. Time to go."

She could feel Rachel's eyes burning into her and was quite proud of herself for not only successfully teasing her girlfriend, but for being able to stop herself before she took her right there on the massage table. That took a lot of will power.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

\--

It was the morning of the premiere. Quinn had been up for a couple hours and decided to let Rachel sleep in. As much as she hated untangling from her, she had to get her day going. Her hairstylist, makeup artist and entire team would be here shortly and if she wasn't ready for primping, there would be hell to pay.

She was on her third cup of coffee and texting back and forth with her manager when Rachel finally woke up.

"Okay, I have to go. Yeah, I'm gonna start getting ready. Okay. See you soon."

Quinn hung up the phone and greeted her girlfriend with a kiss.

"Good morning."

Rachel's nose crinkled with the greeting. "Morning."

"Everything okay?" asked Quinn.

"Remember how I said yesterday that I wasn't nervous?"

"Yeah."

"Well...today, I'm nervous. I just tried on the dress I was gonna wear and I feel like it's all wrong. I brought options, but I don't know if any of them are right. I mean, I know it doesn't really matter since all eyes are going to be on you, anyway. But...I just...I want to look good. For you."

Quinn bit her lip, trying not to laugh. Rachel looked genuinely concerned as she reached over and took a bite of toast and took a sip of coffee.

"Rachel, you're gorgeous. You could show up in a SpongeBob costume and still be the hottest one there."

"Okay, that's an overstatement."

Quinn shook her head. "Nope. It's not. Now go start to get ready. Put on that dress and come out so I can stare at you in awe."

"After breakfast?"

Quinn conceded. "Okay. After breakfast."

When there was a knock on the door, Quinn rolled her eyes. As much as she loved going to events and premieres, she didn't love what came before it. All the prep and time and effort it took to get ready was frustratingly tedious.

"It starts."

She got up and braced for who was on the other side, unsure of who exactly it would be. She opened the door to find the last person she expected.

"Mom...what are you..."

Judy walked in holding a garment bag and breezed past her daughter.

"I'm not staying, Quinnie. I just came to drop off your dress for tonight. Jamie asked if I could drop it off to you. I guess she didn't have time to pick it up yesterday. She'll be here shortly to approve your hair and makeup. I have to run and get my nails and hair done now." She unzipped the bag and started pulling out the dress. "Have you seen it? It's gorgeous."

Quinn stood there with the door still open, hoping her mother was correct when she said she wasn't staying.

"Um...yeah. It's really nice."

"Well don't act too excited."

"Sorry...yeah, it's beautiful." Quinn still lingered by the door.

"Wow...you'll look stunning in that, Quinn," exclaimed Rachel, who was still eating at the table.

Judy turned around, shocked to hear another voice in the room.

"Oh...hello there. Um..."

"Rachel."

"Right, Rachel. How...wonderful to see you." Judy turned to her daughter. "Quinnie, can I speak to you in private, please?"

Quinn pursed her lips, trying to think of what to tell he mother when she knew she was most likely going to get reamed.

"Sure."

Rachel got up. "Um...actually, I have to go call my dads. You can talk out here. I'll just...yeah." She scurried into the bedroom and closed the door.

Judy turned back to Quinn. "What is she doing here?"

"I invited her." Quinn was already getting defensive. She folded her arms and tensed her fists.

"I thought we agreed that you wouldn't be doing that."

"We never agreed to anything, mom. You and dad said you didn't think it was a good idea. I disagree. So I invited her."

"When we said that, we meant 'no.'"

"Well, you should have been more clear. It's too late now. She's already here."

"Quinn, I don't want to argue about this."

"We don't have to argue. She's here. She's coming to the premiere. End of story."

Judy put the dress down on the arm of the couch. "Damn it, Quinn." She shook her head. "I thought you...I thought you got this...thing...out of your system."

Quinn tried not to let the rage take over. "This thing?"

"You know what I'm talking about, Quinn."

"Enlighten me, mom."

Judy was silent.

"Say it, mom. Why can't you just say it?"

"Quinn, it doesn't look good to have some girl with you at the premiere."

"She's my friend, mom. My friend from the small town you forced me to move to. Did you not expect me to make friends?"

"Sure, but I expected you to leave them there," replied a disdainful Judy.

Quinn was too angry to speak.

"Is she staying here?"

Quinn nodded. Judy had a look on her face that was a cross between hurt and disgusted.

"It's a huge suite. There's plenty of room. I wasn't going to make her stay by herself," explained Quinn. All she wanted was for her mom to leave. She wasn't even expecting to see her until the premiere and she knew her mom wouldn't make a scene there when she saw Rachel. If she had found out beforehand, like she just had, Quinn knew there would be a fight.

Judy shook her head. "Quinn, after everything we've been through. After everything with that girl on your show. Moving you to Ohio, letting you clear your head and decide what's right for you and us and your career. How could you invite her here?"

"She's my friend. I wanted her here." Quinn refused to give her mom any more than that. She didn't deserve it.

Judy couldn't look at her daughter by this point.

"Fine. I'll see you later tonight," she said before she walked out the door.

The second the door closed, Quinn let out a breath she didn't even know she was holding in. She slumped her shoulders forward and leaned against the door. Why did this have to be so hard? Why did she have to hide who she was? Why couldn't her mom just be okay with it and support her and not care about what it meant for her career and her future? What was so wrong with it? Why couldn't she tell the world? No one would let her. There was simply too many people relying on her. Coming out would mean scandal. It would likely mean the loss of movie deals, the loss of endorsements. Everybody on her team would be out of a job. Her parents would lose their only source of income. Quinn didn't want to lose everything, but she didn't understand why the world would be so quick to turn against her just because she was in love with a girl. A beautiful girl. A girl who had seen her at her worst multiple times and still wanted to be with her. A girl who was now standing behind her with her arms around Quinn, soothing her.

Quinn wasn't sure exactly when she started crying, but the next thing she knew, she was buried in Rachel's shoulder with little sobs escaping her throat.

"It's okay," Rachel assured her while rubbing her back. "It going to be okay."

Quinn muttered something incoherent and continued sniffling. She allowed Rachel to completely envelop her.

"I take it you didn't tell your mom I was coming?"

Quinn shook her head. "I'm sorry. She just...she wouldn't have understood."

"It's okay. She knows now. The worst is over."

Quinn felt tingles running up and down her spine as Rachel soothingly kissed her neck.

"Come on. We can't have your eyes all red. Tonight's your big night! Go wash your face and we'll just cuddle in bed until everyone gets here, okay?"

Quinn nodded. That sounded perfect to her.

\--

Quinn didn't blame Rachel one bit for hiding out in the bedroom while getting ready while Quinn was being bombarded left and right with makeup and accessory options and different hairstyles. It was utter chaos. But once everything had calmed down, her strapless, short black Dior dress was on, her makeup touched up and her hair perfect, Quinn thanked the ladies that helped as they left and called out to her girlfriend.

"Rachel? You can come out now. Everyone's gone."

She waited for a moment, but didn't hear a reply.

"Rachel?" She started walking towards the bedroom door. "Rach? Are you-"

Before she reached the door, it opened suddenly and she was met with the most stunning sight she had ever seen. She almost had to pick her jaw up off the floor when she saw the brunette decked out in a dark purple, thigh-length dress with the lowest neckline that could possibly exist on a dress. It showed off just enough cleavage to tease Quinn into a frenzy. And her tanned, toned legs seemed to go on forever. Her silver clutch matched her five-inch heels and her hair was straight flowing. She's pretty sure she had just spent the last three minutes staring at her in awe, completely speechless.

"So...do I look okay?" asked an unsure Rachel.

Quinn, with her mouth wide open made a few random sounds as she emphatically nodded her head.

"You look insanely hot," said Rachel. "I love that dress."

"I...uh...yeah. I think you win in the dress department. Wow." Quinn couldn't stop herself from staring.

"So...should we go?" Rachel looked at phone to check the time.

"Yeah. Yes. Lance just texted me. He's out front waiting."

"Oh, Lance is driving us? Nice."

"Yeah, I always request him for the big events. He knows how to remain calm in crazy situations." Quinn grabbed her phone and put it into her clutch. "Shall we?" She offered her arm to Rachel, who gladly took it.

\--

"Pull over here, Lance. I think the beginning of the press line is right over there." Quinn requested as she peered out the window from the backseat of the luxury SUV.

"Sure thing." Lance turned off of Hollywood Boulevard and into a small alley where a row of black SUVs were lined up.

Quinn looked across the street at the crowd of people behind the metal barricades. They were all screaming in unison. She turned to Rachel.

"Okay, it's going to be a madhouse. I'll have to step away a few times to pose for pictures, maybe sign some autographs, do some interviews. When in doubt, just stay near my publicist. You remember what Sarah, right?"

"Yes."

"She'll be with me for the interviews, so just stand on the other side of her and just follow us whenever we move."

"Got it." Rachel took a deep breath as Quinn took her hand.

"Ready for some craziness?"

"A crowd of adoring fans? Of course I'm ready. Even if they are for you, it'll be good practice for me."

They smiled as Lance put the car in park and made his way around to Quinn's door. The second he opened it and Quinn stepped out, the screams from the crowd went from loud to ear-piercing. Quinn looked back to see Lance helping Rachel out of the SUV. She turned and waved at her fans across the street as their screams grew louder. Camera flashes were blinding her. She made her way over to the beginning of the press line and met her publicist there.

"Hey, have my parents come yet?" Quinn was practically screaming.

"Yes, they've been escorted inside already. Mason's over there. The producers want you to walk the carpet and do some interviews together," informed Sarah.

Quinn looked over at Mason and gave him a nod and a wave as he headed over to her.

"You remember my friend, Rachel, right?" Quinn asked Sarah. "Just make sure she stays with us, okay? This is her first premiere." She was still shouting.

"Yeah. No problem." Sarah turned to Rachel and smiled, waving her over. "Over here, hon."

Rachel was staring at a twenty-foot poster for Ten Stories Down as she joined them. Quinn caught Rachel's eye and they shared a secret smile. She then turned to Mason.

"All right. Let's do this."

They posed for some photos both individually and together and were both interviewed by various media outlets. As they made their way down the line, Quinn made sure Rachel was still with them, worrying that she was feeling overwhelmed, but she seemed to be enjoying herself, in awe of the situation. It brought a sense of relief to Quinn who was now distracted by the loud screams from fans across the street.

She turned to Sarah and Mason. "I'll be right back."

She made her way across the street to greet some fans who were screaming her name. She smiled sweetly, signed autographs, and took photos with them. This was her favorite part because she knew how genuine her fans were and how devoted they were just to line up hours beforehand to catch a glimpse of her. The least she could do was come over and say hi.

As she made her way back to the red carpet, escorted by two very large ment, she was nearly blind by all the flashes, but she managed to find her way to Sarah and Rachel. Mason had moved on to an interview with the LA Times while E! News was Quinn's next stop. She turned back to give Rachel another reassuring look and was met with equally reassuring eyes.

"Quinn Fabray! The lady of the hour! How are you tonight?" asked the E! News reporter. Quinn felt really bad for not remembering his name.

"I'm doing great! I can't believe how many people made it out here tonight."

"Well, they all want to celebrate with you. Have you seen the finished product of the film yet?"

"You know, I haven't," replied Quinn. "I was out of town when they held a private screening for the cast and crew."

"That's right. You were taking some time off in Ohio, correct?"

"That's correct. So I'm curious to see how the film turned out."

"Is it weird watching yourself on screen?"

"It used to be, but not so much anymore. I like to study and break things down and see where and how I can improve. So it's more of a negative experience since I'm so hard on myself."

Quinn giggled internally. She just said 'hard on.' But she managed to compose herself for the sake of the interview.

"Well, Quinn, we here at E! News have a surprise for you." He turned and led a few people in front of him. Quinn recognized them immediately. "It's the cast of Outside Hearts! They came out here to support you and we thought it would be a great idea to stage a little reunion."

Quinn froze as the fourth person to appear out of nowhere was someone she had no intention of ever seeing again. She was hoping it was all a dream, but there she was: Kasey Tipton. Her former costar. Her first love. Her ex. Each of the cast greeted her with a smile and a hug. When it came time for Kasey to say hello, her hug lingered and turned into a kiss on the cheek. Quinn was still dumbfounded, but she knew she had to react. People were watching. A camera was in her face, invading her personal space. She needed to do something, say something.

"Wow!" She forced a smile. "Oh wow...it's so great to see you guys!" If only that were true. Well, it was true for most of them. She tried not to look directly at Kasey, even though she could feel her eyes on her the entire time.

She was bombarded with her former cast throwing out assorted platitudes.

"We just wanted to say congratulations!"

"We're all so proud of you!"

"We've missed you on set!"

"It's not the same without you."

Quinn kept her smile going. She knows most of them were sincere. "I've missed you guys, too." Give the people what they want, Fabray. "Come here! Group hug!"

They all went in to hug her at once as the E! News reporter called out to the camera man, "Are you getting this?"

She felt her. There were hands and arms everywhere around her. But the one on her left shoulder blade - that one belonged to Kasey. She knew her touch and Quinn was almost certain she was doing this on purpose. She hadn't seen her in a year. One year. And she still knew exactly what her touch felt like. Only this time, it made her shudder instead of swoon.

They all pulled apart and Quinn made very brief eye contact with Kasey. She still looked the same. Maybe a little taller and a little skinnier. Her auburn hair was pulled back in a tight, sleek bun and her alabaster skin was still peppered with freckles. Quinn's body remained tense, though she tried not to show it. She looked over at Rachel, who was watching Kasey suspiciously. It appeared as though something finally clicked with her, and in that moment, Quinn knew. Rachel wasn't stupid. She could read Quinn like a book and she knew that Kasey was the one that broke Quinn's heart.

Rachel stayed where she was, poised and calm. She glanced over at Quinn and gave her a knowing and understanding look. As the cast said their goodbyes and headed into the theater, Kasey lingered. The red carpet was dying down and most of the media were packing up their cameras. Quinn took this opportunity to pull Kasey over for a quick word.

"What are you doing here?"

"We were invited. The producers thought it would be idea to invite the whole cast. You don't look too pleased to see me."

Quinn kept the smile on her face in case any cameras were on her, but she also made it a point to keep her distance.

"I just wasn't expecting it. No one told me."

"Didn't you miss me at all?"

"I've been too busy to miss you."

"Ouch."

"Yeah. Well...I guess I'll see you." Quinn turned to go, but Kasey took hold of her arm.

"Maybe we can meet up for a drink later. Catch up?"

Quinn subtly pulled her arm away. "I have plans."

"Tomorrow, then?"

Kasey was trying, but Quinn wasn't having it. "Goodbye, Kasey."

Quinn turned and walked back toward Rachel and gestured for her to keep walking with her.

She could tell that Rachel wanted to say something about the situation.

"Can we talk about it later? It's too much for me to deal with right now," pleaded Quinn.

"I was just going to ask if we get popcorn with the screening," said Rachel, trying to lighten the mood.

Quinn chuckled. "You can have whatever you want."

"Does that include a pony?"

"Maybe I should clarify. You can have whatever you want within reason."

"I just want to watch the movie. We can talk when you're ready."

Rachel walked in ahead of Quinn, leaving the blonde to know for a fact how lucky she is.

\--

Quinn didn't pay much attention to the movie. How could she when Rachel was sitting next to her in that skin tight dress that barely went past her thighs? Every few seconds, she caught herself staring down at Rachel's legs and then realizing just how much she ached for her. This entire trip had been a whirlwind so far, there wasn't much time to be on an intimate level with Rachel. They were either completely exhausted or surrounded by people.

The film was barely fifteen minutes in when Rachel caught Quinn staring at her legs for the fifth time.

"Are you bored, or something? Watch the movie. My legs aren't nearly as entertaining," whispered Rachel.

"That's what you think," replied Quinn. She looked at her smooth, long legs once more.

"Stop it!" Whispered Rachel, playfully.

Quinn leaned into Rachel's ear. "I want to kiss you."

"Too bad there are hundreds of people around."

"Do you want kiss me?" asked Quinn.

"Even if I did, we're surrounded."

"Maybe I know of a place where we can go," the blonde whispered.

"You really want to leave? The movie barely started."

"No one ever really stays for the movie. They come to get their pictures taken and be seen."

Quinn could tell her girlfriend was thinking about her proposition.

"What if I want to watch the movie?"

"I'll get you your own DVD copy. I promise. I know people." Quinn was turning up the charm.

"Okay," agreed Rachel. "I'll go first. Meet me in the lobby."

Quinn watched as Rachel scooted her way out of the row, moving right in front of her and giving the blonde a perfect view of her ass. Quinn would make her very sorry for that display.

She tried to wait at least five minutes so as not to attract attention. She made it two minutes before she got up and made her way out of the theater. She found Rachel waiting for her by the front door.

"So...where are we going?"

It took every ounce of strength for Quinn not to take her right then and there. That dress was just begging to be torn off.

"Follow me."

She looked around to make sure no one was watching and led them out the side door and down to the alley where all the SUVs were parked. She looked around until she found the one they arrived in. She opened the back passenger door and helped Rachel in.

"How is this unlocked?"

"Lance always leaves the keys in the ignition. The car is so blocked in from the other cars, no one would think to steal it. They'd be sitting here a long time trying to get out." She jumped in the back seat next to Rachel. Then reached toward the front to pull the keys out of the ignition. "See?"

"What if he comes back? Where is he?"

"Then we'll have to open the door for him if he wants in. And I guarantee you he's at a bar."

"A bar?" asked an incredulous Rachel.

"Not drinking. Trust me. He doesn't drink. He's watching the game. Big Dodger fan."

"Oh."

"Yeah. Oh." Quinn closed the door and locked it.

She scooted over until she was next to Rachel and slowly began kissing her shoulder.

"What if someone catches us?"

Quinn continued what she was doing, answer her question between kisses. "The windows outside are tinted. Nearly black. No one can see us in here."

Rachel sounded skeptical. "Are you sure?"

Quinn nodded. "I wouldn't take this chance if I wasn't sure." She moved her way from Rachel's shoulder, down her arm and placed her hand on her thigh, squeezing it tightly.

Rachel moaned and leaned her head back. "Good."

Before Quinn could even respond, Rachel maneuvered her way on top of Quinn, straddling her. With her legs apart, the hem of her dress went even higher up her legs. She attacked Quinn's lips with her own. Quinn wasn't expecting it, but she certainly wasn't about to complain. She graciously accepted Rachel's lips and decided to add their tongues to the mix.

Quinn was immediately turned on. Her hands tightly gripped Rachel's thighs as the brunette continued straddling her. Then her hands made their way up to Rachel's hips, then to her perfect ass. As she squeezed her hands, Rachel lurched forward and moved her hips against Quinn's center.

"Oh God," cried Quinn. She closed her eyes, bit her lip and prayed that Rachel would do that again.

She did. And Quinn could swear she saw stars.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?" She looked up at Rachel, who was looking back at her with both desire and desperation in her eyes.

"Please don't stop kissing me."

Quinn didn't even have to think about it. She leaned up and kissed her girlfriend almost maniacally, she wanted her so badly. When Rachel continued grinding her hips against her, Quinn's hands were becoming desperate. She brought them up to pull down the thick straps on either side of Rachel's shoulders. The material fell down Rachel's shoulders to her arms and Quinn was met with proof of what she suspected all along: Rachel was not wearing a bra. She knew Rachel didn't want her to stop kissing her, but she had to stop and appreciate Rachel's body for a moment. It was dark, but there was just enough light from the street lamps shining in through the windows for Quinn to be able to see everything she needed to see. She looked up at Rachel, whose mouth was open. She was panting and still grinding against Quinn.

Quinn kept looking back and forth from Rachel's face to her chest as Rachel began grinding faster. As she did so, Quinn was mesmerized by the way her breasts were ever-so-slightly bouncing up and down with each movement.

"You're so fucking hot."

She cupped each spectacular breast in her hands and slowly started grinding along with Rachel. Kissed along the valley between her breasts and began to pinch each nipple with her thumb and index finger - an act that elicited an intense growl from Rachel. Quinn replaced her left hand with her mouth, running her tongue along the swell of her breast until her lips were met with a hardened nipple. She flicked her tongue out, hoping for another sound from Rachel. Her plan worked as Rachel whimpered. This time, she ran her entire tongue over her nipple slowly and Rachel's whimper turned into a groan. Quinn felt Rachel's hands gripping her hair and pulling her in closer. Quinn continued sucking on Rachel's sensitive flesh as the brunette threw her head back.

"Oh God, Quinn. That feels...so...good." Rachel was panting heavily.

Quinn pulled back and looked at the girl on top of her. Her dress was half on, half off and she was certain she had never seen anything hotter. She moved her hand down Rachel's chest to her perfect stomach and kept moving south to her thigh. She inched her way up her thigh and under the dress. She could feel the moisture and heat between Rachel's legs before even touching her. She lingered around the outside of her underwear, lightly grazing her clit. Rachel bucked at the contact. Quinn could feel her underwear was completely soaked and it turned her on knowing it was her that was the cause.

"I'm so glad you're wearing a dress right now," whispered Quinn.

She pushed Rachel's underwear to the side and allowed her fingers to be enveloped in the slick folds as the girl on top of her let out a quiet scream. Quinn could feel her own wetness pooling between her legs as her fingers explored more of Rachel. She rhythmically rubbed her clit in tiny circles, driving the girl insane. She hovered around Rachel's entrance and as soon as she slid two fingers inside, she put her mouth on Rachel's breast again, trying to attack the girl from every place she could.

It was safe to say that Rachel wasn't expecting it because the moment it happened, she gasped and gripped Quinn's head even tighter, digging her nails into her scalp. She moved in rhythm with Quinn's fingers, filling the blonde's ears with sounds she had never made before. Quinn knew she was close. She could feel it. Her walls started clenching her fingers as Rachel continued to ride Quinn's hand, working herself in to a frenzy. Quinn managed to find just the right angle to curl her fingers and reach Rachel's spot. And the moment she did, Rachel came completely undone, holding Quinn tightly and repeating her name through gritted teeth. Quinn released Rachel's nipple and watched as she rode out her orgasm on top of her.

"That was so hot, Rach."

Rachel collapsed down onto the blonde's shoulder, panting heavily. "That was...amazing."

"God, yes it was. I can't get over how beautiful you are."

Rachel blushed as she pulled herself off of Quinn, the top of her dress still hanging at her sides. She had a look in her eye that Quinn couldn't quite place. It wasn't until Rachel was on her knees on the floor of the back seat that Quinn realized exactly what she was thinking. The brunette started kissing Quinn's knees, slowly moving up her thigh.

"Rachel."

No answer.

"Rach...what...what are you doing?"

Rachel continued kissing up Quinn's thigh. "Something I've been wanting to do all night. Since I saw your insanely hot body on that thirty-foot screen."

Quinn twitched with excitement, but there was also an element of fear. But one look from Rachel, with those big brown eyes staring up at her, and all her fears were gone.

"Can I?" It was such a simple question with such a loaded answer.

Quinn nodded. There was no way she was going to turn this down.

"I'm really glad you're wearing a dress, too," quipped Rachel as she reached up and tugged at Quinn's underwear, pulling them down to her ankles and yanking them off her high heels.

Quinn watched as her girlfriend's hands pulled the hem of her dress up to her hips. She spread her legs apart and waited with anticipation as she felt her inner thighs being tickled by Rachel's mouth. Then, it happened. Rachel's tongue made contact and Quinn jolted at the feeling. It was brief, but it was enough.

"Again. Please do that again."

This time Rachel parted Quinn's folds and ran her tongue along her entire slit. By this point, Quinn was gripping the seat with white knuckles. She tossed her head back and bucked her hips forward to indicate to Rachel that she wanted and craved more. Rachel happily obliged as she work magic with her tongue, swirling up and down, clockwise, counterclockwise. Each movement was a surprise to Quinn and the blonde could feel her stomach tightening with every passage of her tongue.

"Jesus, Rach. Holy shit. How are you...how are you so good at that?"

She could feel Rachel smiling as her strokes became less strident and more focused. Quinn closed her eyes and felt every single movement of Rachel's tongue inside of her. Her breathing turned to moaning and she could feel herself starting to lose control. She reached out and grabbed the back of Rachel's head for leverage as she moved her hips closer to meet Rachel's mouth. With every breath, she released an erotic moan. These were sounds she didn't know she was capable of making. She wanted it to last, but she knew there was no way. Rachel was way too good at what she was doing and Quinn was already way too turned on by what happened right before. With one final thrust of Rachel's tongue, Quinn screamed out.

"Fuck, don't stop. Don't stop. Don't stop. God, please Rachel. Don't stop."

She kept repeating those words until her orgasm finally started winding down. She immediately pulled Rachel up to her and kissed her. Rachel was straddling her once more as they embraced and kissed each other.

Premiere or no premiere, Quinn was certain that this was the greatest night of her life.


	20. In California With My Toes in the Sand

While the premiere was certainly the highlight of Rachel's trip, she enjoyed almost every other aspect and experience. With Quinn's guidance, she explored Greystone Mansion. Pierce Brothers Cemetery where Marilyn Monroe and Natalie Wood were buried, and the garment district in Downtown LA. Quinn even drove her up the coast to Santa Barbara so she could revel in the view of the Pacific ocean. Despite all her interviews and social engagements, Quinn tried to join Rachel for every outing she could. She had to miss out on Rachel's Runyon Canyon hike, but she told Rachel she wasn't too upset about it because she didn't need to embarrass herself again with how out of shape she was. But Rachel made sure to send Quinn plenty of picture texts reminding her of what she was missing.

The Monday after the premiere and subsequent opening weekend, Quinn's schedule was freed up a bit. She finally had a whole day to devote to Rachel and she knew exactly how she wanted to spend that day. Rachel was beyond ecstatic.

The diva basked in the warmth of the sun shining down on her. The waves crashing along the shore was the perfect soundtrack to this day. The ocean was as blue as the sky and the sand was hot on her feet. But none of that compared to the fact that she was laying next to the most beautiful girl on the planet. And this "most beautiful girl" was staring at her. She could feel it. The corners of Rachel's mouth turned up into a smirk.

"What are you doing?"

"Leering."

"Why?"

"Because your legs are sexy. And your abs are kissable. And your cleavage leaves very little to the imagination. Seriously, did you wear this bikini just to get me all worked up?"

"I did no such thing." Rachel adjusted her bikini bottoms and ran her hand up and down her thigh, pretending to wipe something off. She still wouldn't look at Quinn.

"You're doing that on purpose."

"I was just blending in some sunscreen that I missed."

"Sure. A likely story."

Rachel knew she was being a brat, but she continued to get under Quinn's skin. She quite enjoyed getting a rise out of her. She rolled over onto her stomach and untied her bikini top, determined to not have any tan lines.

"Okay. That's it. We're leaving," exclaimed Quinn, as she stood up and started brushing off her towel.

Rachel looked up at her, purposefully revealing just a little bit of side boob for Quinn to see.

"Why? I'm having fun! This is relaxing." She tried her hardest to hide the smile on her face as Quinn stared down at her, enthralled with the flesh she just revealed.

"Th...you..." Quinn looked around to see if anyone else was seeing this. No one was. "You're not playing fair."

"You want me to cover up?"

"No!"

"I'm confused, Quinn. I'm showing too much skin, but you don't want me to cover up?"

Oh yes. She was definitely making Quinn squirm.

"I can't think straight with you...with your..." Quinn was struggling. "You're really hot, okay? It makes it hard for me to concentrate on anything."

Rachel smiled. "And you think that I'm keeping my cool with you wearing that? Why do you think I've barely looked at you? It's nearly impossible to keep my hands off of you."

Quinn arched her eyebrow.

"Is that so?"

"Yes, that's so. Now please get back down here. I'll let you tie me up."

"T-tie you up?"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "My bikini top. I'll let you tie it up. Perv."

Though, that did give Rachel some fun thoughts.

Quinn relented and lay back down on her towel next to Rachel. Rachel felt the blonde's hand graze her arm. She didn't understand how such a simple touch could give her chills over her entire body.

"Maybe leave it untied a bit longer."

Rachel rested her head on the towel, facing Quinn. She ran her finger along the side of Quinn's leg, up and down with just the tiniest amount of pressure.

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"If you keep that up, I'm gonna need to jump in the water to cool off."

Rachel lit up. "Oh please, do! Wet bikini? Wet, sandy hair? I feel like that would be a good look for you."

Quinn opened her mouth to say something, but stopped when a shadow suddenly stood over them. Rachel immediately moved her hand back over to her own towel.

"Excuse me, Quinn?"

They looked up to see a group of girls huddled around them. Most of them appeared to be college aged.

"Yes?"

"Hi. Um...sorry to bother you. We're really big fans. Do you think we could get a picture with you?"

Half of the girls were giggling, the other half were whispering. And Rachel tried to stifle a chuckle.

"Oh, sure! No problem." Quinn stood up and brushed some sand from her legs.

"Do you want me to take it," asked Rachel.

"Yeah, if you don't mind," replied one of Quinn's groupies.

Rachel grabbed for her t-shirt and managed to put it on without exposing herself, much to Quinn's relief and disappointment.

Once Rachel took some photos and gave the camera back, a few of the girls were bombarding Quinn with questions and drowning her in compliments. Rachel couldn't help but feel a tinge of jealousy. Two of them had their arms around Quinn in the photo and the rest were fawning over her. Though, she could tell by Quinn's face that she was ready to just lay back down and relax. She could see it in Quinn's eyes. Almost as if she were asking for her help.

Rachel discreetly grabbed her phone from her bag and dialed Quinn's number. As soon as the ringtone started blaring, Quinn picked up her phone and looked at it.

"Oh, sorry girls. I have to take this. But it was so nice meeting you. Make sure you tweet me that picture."

The girls thanked her and finally left. Quinn tossed the phone on her towel and dropped to her knees.

"Thank you. I would kiss you if I could."

"Rain check. But I'm definitely going to remind you of that."

"They're sweet. But I'm exhausted. I just want a day of being me. With you. Nothing more."

Elated to hear those words from Quinn's lips, Rachel went to lean in toward Quinn before immediately pulling back, realizing that they were still in public.

"You're making it increasingly difficult not to touch you."

"Yes, I know the feeling."

Upon Quinn's response, Rachel lay down on her stomach again and took her shirt off, reminding Quinn that she was topless.

"I hate you."

"You love me."

Rachel moved her head to the other side, facing away from Quinn.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah."

"Rachel? Are you lying?"

"...yeah."

"What's wrong?"

Rachel couldn't face her. She kept her eyes closed hoping it would shield her from her blatant honesty.

"They were all really pretty." She mumbled it, but she knew Quinn heard it.

"Yes. They were."

"And they were all over you."

Rachel waited for Quinn's response. Upon hearing her sigh, she braced herself for a verbal ass-kicking for daring to reveal her jealousy.

"People are going to want to be all over me. It's been like that for a while. But that doesn't mean I return their sentiments. There's only one person I want all over me."

Rachel couldn't stop it from coming out of her mouth. She tried, but her damn vocal chords were being bastards.

"Kelsey?"

The moment she said it, she wanted to take it back. But now it was out there. Floating to Quinn's ears. Soon, the actress's frustrations will outweigh her love for Rachel and she'd be sent home on the next flight to Ohio. The wrath was coming. She was sure of it.

She jumped when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"I'm going to give you a chance to take that back."

Rachel turned to face her again. "I take it back. I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that."

"No, you shouldn't have. You have no right to throw that in my face. I had no idea she was going to be there. I was blindsided."

"You're right. I'm sorry. I don't even know where that came from."

Rachel waited in agony for Quinn to respond. She didn't. The longer she was silent, the more Rachel began to panic. It was happening again. She was hardening. Putting up that wall. She could tell by the icy look in her eyes and the clenched jaw. Rachel mentally slapped herself. After expending all that energy to get through to Quinn, she was going to have to do it all over again. She needed to do something. Say something. Fast.

"Just...I saw you guys talking at the premiere. And then you were walking the carpet with Mason. And now these girls...at least two of them were flirting with you."

It was working. Quinn's eyes grew softer.

"They weren't flirting. They were talking. I'm pretty sure they are all very much straight."

"So was I..." Rachel said playfully.

Quinn flashed a smirk and arched that infamous eyebrow. "Rachel, honey? I hate to break it to you, but you were NEVER straight. Perhaps bi. But never straight. Besides, those girls are a little too old for my taste. I like 'em young."

"Excuse me. I am only three months younger than you."

"Three very long, gaping months. I'm far more mature than you'll ever be."

Rachel slapped Quinn on the thigh.

"See? Now that just proved my point," said Quinn. She leaned back and shielded her eyes from the sun. "Rachel, in all seriousness. I need you to not be jealous. A lot of people are around me a lot of the time. Some try to get close. Some try to flirt. Some just want to get in my pants. It doesn't mean anything to me. You are the only person on this planet who has been able to break down any and all barriers I put up. And you continue to do so. I need you to know that what we have is real. You know that, right?"

The diva nodded. "Sometimes it's just hard for me to remember that. You're a goddess among mortals. Everybody wants you."

"And I want you. Simple as that. I hate that you don't get that by now."

"I'm trying. I promise I am. Can we just forget about it? I'm sorry."

Quinn nodded. "Okay. Let's just enjoy the day. And I'm not a goddess."

Rachel breathed a sigh of relief. Then she heard Quinn's phone buzzing and found herself hoping it wasn't someone trying to whisk Quinn away from her at the last minute. She had been promised a day of no interviews and no press junkets.

"It's my agent texting."

"Yeah? Everything okay?"

Quinn lay on her back, adjusted her sunglasses and leaned her head back on her towel.

"Apparently the movie opened number one at the box office."

"What!"

Rachel shot up before realizing her bikini top wasn't attached to her.

"Shit!" She grabbed it and tried tying it back up. She heard Quinn laughing as the blonde's nimble fingers helped secure it. Once it was securely on again, Rachel jumped up with even more vigor than the first time.

"Quinn! That's awesome! That's amazing! Congratulations! We have to go celebrate."

"We are celebrating. This is right where I want to be."

"Aren't you excited?"

"I'm thrilled! We really had no idea how the film was going to be received, so this is huge," she replied with a smile.

"I...I..." Rachel was almost dancing on the sand, she couldn't contain her excitement. "Can I hug you? I'm going to hug you now. Can I? I'm just gonna do it!"

She dive-bombed down to where Quinn was and wrapped her arms around her. It was somewhat awkward since Quinn was lying fully on her back, but Rachel was still able to get the point across. Quinn couldn't stop laughing.

"Quick hug! Quick hug! I'm so proud of you! Quick hug! Okay, I'm off!" Rachel stood back up and looked around to make sure no one spotted her little display of affection.

"That might be the greatest hug I've ever gotten." She sat up and looked at Rachel with mischief in her eyes. "Let's go get some ice cream at the pier."

"Okay!" Rachel excitedly gathered her things. "Do they have vegan options?"

\--

They spent the rest of the day at the beach, walking up and down the pier, then walking along the shore while getting their feet wet. They sat side by side and watched the sun go down. By this point, it was dark enough so Rachel boldly leaned her head on Quinn's shoulder. The blonde absorbed it only for a moment before shaking Rachel's head away.

"I'm sorry. I just...someone might see. The paparazzi and their telephoto lenses don't really make it easy to do things like that."

Rachel nodded, trying not to hide her disappointment. She knew what the deal was and she knew the stakes of them getting caught. Quinn was smart to push her away, but it didn't mean it hurt any less.

The actress tried to make up for it, though. She traced her finger along the sand in front of her and drew a heart with an R in the middle. It wasn't her shoulder, it wasn't her hand, it wasn't her lips. But it was her heart. And for Rachel, that was enough.

Rachel was in a state of blissful consciousness. She was in that perfect moment between being awake and asleep when she felt a pair of lips make contact with her neck. She rolled over and hummed with content as she heard a voice whispering in her ear.

"Rach, I have to go but I'll be back later."

"Hmm?" She could barely open her eyes to make out the blonde standing over her.

"I have a meeting with my agent and the film's producers."

Now a little more aware, Rachel felt the empty spot in the bed next to her.

"Why are you not in bed? Come back."

Quinn smiled and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

"I'll be back in a bit. I know you like to work out in the mornings, so you can hit up the fitness room while I'm at my meeting. Then when I get back, I have a special plan for you."

Rachel rolled over, the sheets soft against her skin. Quinn's lips felt heavenly. She pulled her in for a hug, but refused to let go. She was nearly delirious in her half-asleep state.

"Mmm...stay."

"I can't."

Rachel held her tighter.

"Stay."

"You're making this really hard for me."

She was slowly wearing her down. Just one more ought to do it.

"Quinn, please stay. Just for a little bit."

Quinn relented and crawled into bed next to her.

"Three minutes."

Rachel nuzzled into her neck.

"Mmm...I win."

"Yeah...you win."

They stayed there holding each other until Rachel fell asleep once more.

\--

The buzzing from her phone woke Rachel from a deep slumber. She felt around for her phone, not even bothering to open her eyes.

"Hello?" It was a rather muffled greeting, but it was the best she could offer at that moment until she could fully wake up.

"You never call. You never write. What gives?"

"Santana?" Rachel sat up in the bed.

"So you went all Hollywood on us and forgot about the little people."

Rachel smoothed out her hair as her eyes adjusted to the light.

"Santana, did you miss me? Is that why you're calling? Don't worry. I didn't forget about you. I even got you a souvenir shot glass that says 'I'm Famous, Bitch' on it."

"Charming. I like it. And don't flatter yourself. I don't miss you. I just...wanted to know how the trip is going."

"It's going well."

"Little Miss Fancypants is taking care of you?"

"Yeah, she's great. She's been showing me around and we're having a great time."

"Well don't forget about us Lima folk. I'll let you get back to you West Coast sexcapades."

"Okay." Rachel was still a little stupified that Santana Lopez was calling her just to have a conversation. In less than a year, her life had gone from pathetic to surreal.

"Brittany says to tell you hi and she wants you to bring her back some gold."

"Gold?"

"Since it's the golden state. I don't know. Just go with it."

"Okay then. Something gold."

They were silent for a moment before Santana quickly hung up.

"Okay bye."

Click. Rachel stared at the phone then tossed it onto the bed. She lay back down and waited for Quinn to come back, curious as to what her girlfriend had planned for them.

\--

"Wow."

"You like it?"

"Wow."

"Pretty cool, huh?"

Rachel slowly spun around, taking in everything around her. At this moment, she was thankful she was dating someone who had friends in high places because this was quickly becoming her favorite sight of the trip. Quinn had brought her to the stage door of the Pantages Theatre in Hollywood and met her old friend, Steve, who just happened to be the house manager for the theater. He was kind enough to let them explore since there were no productions scheduled for today.

Rachel was in the middle of the stage with Quinn watching every reaction. It was completely empty except for them and all Rachel wanted to do was twirl around like Julie Andrews at the beginning of The Sound of Music. She could hear each tap of her foot echoing through the theater.

"You think this is cool?" asked Quinn. "Look up."

Rachel stopped spinning and did as Quinn suggested.

"Oh wow. The ceiling...it's gorgeous. Such beautiful architecture."

"Yeah, this place is pretty famous for its ceiling, along with its productions."

"And how do you know the house manager?"

"Steve? I've known him for a while. We used to do press junkets here every year for the show. He was always very kind and gracious. And very professional. And he told me if I ever needed anything, to let him know. I think he meant tickets to shows, but he wasn't very specific, so I decided to call in this favor."

"Well, this was very nice of him." Rachel continued to look around in awe. "Just imagine all the people who have performed on this stage."

Quinn backed away and headed down the side stairs into the house of the theater.

"Well, now you'll be one of them."

"What?"

Quinn made her way down to the middle of the first row and sat down.

"Come on. I'm front row, center. Show me what a future Broadway star can do."

Rachel blushed. For someone who was born to be on stage, she certainly had no business being embarrassed, but leave it to Quinn to feed her ego.

"What should I sing?"

Quinn shrugged. "Diva's choice. I'm ready to be wowed. This will give me good practice for when I come see every Broadway production you're in."

Rachel's heart fluttered at that statement. She always felt a sense of euphoria whenever Quinn brought up anything regarding their future. Deep down, Rachel had always been so afraid that this would eventually end. She would wake up one morning and Quinn would no longer want to be a part of her life. But she knew this relationship was a two-way street. Quinn had just as much invested in this as Rachel. She had to learn to trust Rachel implicitly. She knew what a challenge it was for Quinn to finally let go and let her in. Especially with how the rest of the world treats her.

Rachel decided on her song right then and there. She walked up to the edge of the stage and sat down with her legs dangling over the edge. Facing Quinn, who was a mere five feet away from her, she smiled.

"I think I'll go simple today. Save the showstopper song for my Broadway debut."

This piqued Quinn's interest. She leaned back in her seat looking both perplexed and intrigued as Rachel started singing a cappella.

"So you've loved me now for half a year

Despite the distance and the fear

Of falling skies and a gathering storm

That'll blow me back where I came from

That ain't the way I see you, baby

I know you're not that kind of girl

When you die, I will come looking for you

I wouldn't miss it for the world."

Her voice was stripped down, she was singing in her lower register and yet it was still so finely tuned and perfectly on pitch. It was the exact opposite of her usual powerhouse performances, but this entire situation was something so different for her. This was an audience of one. The only audience she cared about at the moment.

"An opportunist waiting for a chance

To fuck you over, leave you flat

Take off your dress and go straight to the press

To make time on the evening news.

Is that the way you see me baby?

I know you're not that kind of girl

When you die I will come looking for you

I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The words fell out of her honeyed voice, each note sounding so pure as she kept her eyes on Quinn, wanting desperately to convey each word to her.

"That murderer who shares your cell

His sentence don't have to be yours, as well

Because when you wake, you count the stars

He's making enemies across the bars

That ain't the way I see you, baby

I know you're not that kind of girl

When you die, I will come looking for you

I wouldn't miss it for the world."

The second Rachel finished the song, she barely had a chance to breathe before Quinn leapt up and attacked her lips. She wrapped her legs around the blonde's waist and pulled her in tighter.

"What if...someone...walks in," asked Rachel between kisses.

"Steve wouldn't let that happen."

They continued kissing, finally slowing down to a steady rhythm. They had time. They had privacy. There was no need to rush this. Rachel felt chills run up her spine as Quinn snuck her hand under her shirt, grazing those talented fingers along her abs. Her lips couldn't get enough of the soft, smooth texture of Quinn's mouth. She craved more and ran her tongue along Quinn's lips, hoping to quench the need to drink her in.

They both sighed in desperation and elation. Quinn's left hand moved down to Rachel's thigh as her right hand moved up her back and grabbed the clasp of her bra. Rachel felt her hand fidgeting against the hooks.

"What are you doing?"

"Relieving you of this cumbersome garment."

"I can see that. Do you think this is the most appropriate place to do that?"

Quinn kept kissing her, refusing to stop.

"No more so than in SUV in a very public locale."

Quinn moved down to her neck and Rachel closed her eyes while throwing her head back, trying unsuccessfully to stifle a very loud moan that ripped through the entire theater.

"Good point."

She didn't argue when Quinn succeeded in removing her bra, leaving plenty of room for her hands to roam freely across Rachel's breasts. It took no time at all for her hands to immediately pay them some much needed attention. Rachel could feel her own nipples pebbling in Quinn's hands. She bit her lip and whimpered, arching into her touch as Quinn's mouth traveled down her neck to her collarbone.

"That was a beautiful song. Quite fitting."

"I was hoping you'd like it," replied Rachel, sheepishly.

"I loved it. I found it...comforting."

She ran her fingers across Rachel's aching nipples, eliciting a very desperate groan. Rachel's hands were the only thing holding her up as she arched her back further up. Quinn kept her hands on the sensitive flesh of Rachel's chest while moving her mouth further down. She grabbed the hem of Rachel's shirt with her teeth and pulled it up, holding the material up with one of her thumbs. She snaked her tongue out along Rachel's stomach, and kissed her way down towards her belly button.

It was dead silent. All either of the could hear was the sound of Quinn's lips on Rachel's skin. Rachel's knuckles were turning white from holding herself up in a sitting position. All she wanted to do was lay back and have Quinn crawl on top of her. Or better yet...kneel in front of her. But Quinn was the one setting the pace here. So she waited. And enjoyed feeling her girlfriend explore every single inch of her abs with her tongue.

"Quinn..." Rachel couldn't help but moan her name.

Right away, she regretted it because the blonde stopped what she was doing and slowly took her hands out from under her shirt.

"What's wrong?"

Quinn smiled and shook her head.

"Nothing. Nothing at all. But you're right. There's a time and a place and this shouldn't be it."

"You're telling me that the stage of a huge theater is not the best place to have sex with me? If anything, it's the perfect place!"

Quinn laughed. "You may be right. But it's getting late and there's one more place I want to take you today."

Rachel was on fire. Her core was throbbing and her breasts were suddenly very lonely. But she fixed her shirt as Quinn helped put her bra back on.

"Is this payback for the beach?"

"I don't do payback, Rachel. But now that we're both hot and bothered, it should make for an interesting night, don't you think?"

Rachel rolled her eyes in frustration as they headed out of the theater.

"So where are you dragging me off to now?"

\--

After driving up a very long and windy hill, when they reached their destination Quinn found a little turn-out where she parked her car. She came around the other side and opened the door for Rachel, taking her hand and helping her out of the car. She led her past a few bushes and trees towards an opening. Rachel stepped through some dirt and over some rocks and stopped in her tracks when she saw what Quinn wanted to show her: an unbelievable view of all of Los Angeles. She turned around and the view didn't seem to end. It was 360 degrees of nothing but the city of angels.

"Quinn, this breathtaking."

"Yeah. It's my favorite spot in LA. This is where I come when I need to think. Or escape. Or just breathe for a minute. Everything seems so much clearer up here." She smiled at Rachel and gestured toward a rock big enough for both of them to sit on. "Welcome to Mulholland Drive."

They sat down and Rachel immediately knew why Quinn was concerned about getting here on time. The bright red sun was sinking in the sky, turning it orange and pink. It was unlike anything she had ever seen.

"What do you think about when you're here?"

Rachel's heartbeat skipped when Quinn took her hand.

"Anything, really. Life. Acting. Sometimes I would just come here to rehearse my lines. Other times, I would write. Or sing to myself. Or just sit in silence."

"Well, thank you for sharing it with me. You're making it really hard to pick a favorite spot here."

Quinn squeezed her hand a little tighter.

"Sometimes I used to come here and just confess all my secrets out loud. I'd say them out loud and they would be out there. In the open. I used to think that maybe the wind would carry them someplace far and someone would eventually hear them. Someone would know the real me even though they had no idea whose voice it was. Does that make any sense?"

Rachel nodded. "It makes perfect sense."

Quinn took a deep breath and kicked some dirt with her foot.

"The first time I ever admitted to myself that I was gay was at this spot. I allowed myself to say it in my head. And then I whispered it. And then I just blurted it out. And nothing happened. No one jumped out of the bushes with a camera. No one came running up to me asking me all about it. It felt good knowing that it was out there. That the wind carried it, but it couldn't be traced back to me."

She turned to face Rachel.

"I know keeping us a secret hasn't been easy on you. And I can't offer much in the way of consolation for that, but I'm here. Outside. In a public place. I'm here telling you that I love you, Rachel. And those words are out there now. They're on the wind. And who knows? Maybe they'll make their way back to Ohio."

Rachel smiled. She could feel Quinn's hand shaking in her own. She put her arm around her and kissed her cheek.

"That might be the sweetest thing anyone has ever said to me."

Rachel wasn't sure at first. She thought it was a shadow or maybe a drop of rain from the single cloud that rested in the sky. But no. She realized that Quinn was crying. One tear had turned into two and quickly turned into three, then five, then ten, then more than Rachel could count.

"Hey. What's wrong?"

Quinn shook her head, gripping Rachel's hand tighter.

"I hate this."

"Hate what?"

Quinn closed her eyes, as if it hurt to look at her. She turned away and took a few sob-filled breaths.

"I have to leave."

"Now? You want to go back to the hotel?"

Quinn shook her head and wiped a few tears from her eyes.

"I have to go. On a publicity tour. New York, then London, then Berlin. Mostly premieres and press junkets. But I'll be gone for at least three weeks."

Rachel's chest felt like it was going to cave in, but she refused to show any kind of weakness. There could only be one basket case at a time between them. Now was Quinn's turn. She rubbed the blonde's back, trying to sooth her.

"Three weeks isn't terrible. When do you leave?"

"A week from today. Which means..."

"My LA trip ends very soon."

Quinn nodded, then lowered her head.

"There's more." Her voice cracked. "The film was such a huge hit, they want to start filming the sequel right away. As soon as the press tour is over. We start in September and it'll be at least three months."

Rachel was pretty sure she heard a crack in the earth. She was ready for it to swallow her whole.

"Where are they filming it?"

"Prague. I had no idea until this morning. That's what the meeting was about. They wanted to start in August, but my manager convinced them to push it to September because I'll be eighteen by then and won't be bogged down by child labor laws."

"So you're going to Prague for three months?"

"Yeah. Flying there from Berlin."

"So you'll be out of the country for four months?"

Quinn nodded apologetically.

Neither of them said another word. There was nothing either of them could say to make the situation any better, so silence was the best option right now. It was the only option.


	21. Satisfy the Feeling, Give In To Me

Rachel wasn't sure how long they had been at this. Hours, perhaps? Quinn was going slow. Painfully slow. And with every single movement the blonde made, it only stirred up more frustration and desire within Rachel. By now, Quinn had made her way to Rachel's left hip, running her soft, wet tongue along her girlfriend's flesh while slowly peeling away the remains of her clothing. The newly revealed skin was just more uncharted territory for Quinn to discover. Rachel lay on the bed, squeezing her eyes shut every time it felt like Quinn's mouth was moving closer to where she was aching for it to be. But yet again, Quinn pulled away and continued her trek up and down her body. Rachel's breaths were staggered and deep. She wanted to cry. Out of frustration. Out of fear. Out of their impending separation. And out of general horniness that was not being assuaged in any way.

She opened her eyes and looked down at the tousled blonde hair sweeping across her abdomen. She tensed up and gasped when Quinn sunk her teeth into the spot just above her belly button.

"Quinn!"

"Sorry." Her girlfriend looked up at her sheepishly.

Rachel took Quinn's arm and pulled her closer. "Come here."

"But I'm not done yet."

Rachel's head fell back on the bed in dissatisfaction. "Do you have an ETA on when you'll be done?"

Quinn crawled her way up and kissed Rachel hard, biting her lip when they pulled apart.

"You'll know when I'm done." The sultry tone of her voice almost made Rachel come right then and there. She should have known better than to question Quinn Fabray.

She felt those blonde locks move down her chest as a warm tongue surveyed the her ribcage. What was so interesting about a ribcage, really? Didn't Quinn know she was missing all the good spots? Rachel gasped again as Quinn nipped the flesh just below her breast. The gasp slowly turned into a moan.

Okay, so maybe there was something to be said about her ribcage. Who knew?

Was she being tortured? Was Quinn doing this on purpose? And if so, how did she possibly know how much this would turn Rachel on? Because about a half hour ago, the diva began to feel a familiar wet heat between her legs. She kept squirming to try to meet any part of Quinn, but her girlfriend wasn't having it. She was too busy waking up every single part of Rachel's body.

At this point, Quinn was teasing her way along the outside of Rachel's right breast. And in that moment, she knew. Rachel knew what this was. She'd read about it and she had heard Santana talk about it, but now she had definitive proof of what it was. This was her sexual awakening. Not just this moment, but this past year. Everything that had to do with Quinn made her body feel weak and strong at the same time. Vulnerable and impervious. Aching and strangely satisfied. Hot and cold. And it all seemed to be culminating in this moment, on this bed, in this hotel room. As desperate as she was for relief, she also knew her body could trust Quinn. So she lay there and enjoyed every sensation her girlfriend's hands, mouth, lips and tongue had to offer. It wasn't like Rachel to keep her mouth shut about things, but her instincts told her to trust what was happening.

Quinn conveniently skipped over Rachel's breasts entirely and moved her way up to her shoulders and neck. Rachel's moaning didn't deter her from her mission. She just moaned right along with her and whispered in her ear.

"Every part of you tastes amazing."

Rachel felt a twitch between her legs at the sound of Quinn's voice. She let out something between a whimper and a sob. Her voice cracked like a pre-pubescent boy, but she delighted in Quinn's laughter. She was finally learning not to be embarrassed in front of the actress.

She didn't think it was very fair that Quinn was still covered by her bra and underwear, but every time she made a move to take them off, Rachel's hand would get slapped away. She tried again with no luck.

Smack!

"No means no, Rachel."

Her body was about to explode with anger and ecstasy.

"You didn't say no. You just keep slapping my hand."

"The slapping implies the 'no.'"

Rachel tried one last time to even the playing field by removing the rest of her girlfriend's clothes. Instead of getting her hand slapped away, Quinn stopped what she was doing altogether and looked down at her with disappointment.

"We're gonna have to do something about those hands of yours."

Rachel bit her lip. What did this girl have in store for her? Surely the playful tone meant that all her patience and waiting was about to pay off.

Quinn pulled Rachel up slightly and the brunette followed Quinn's lead, not knowing exactly what she wanted. It wasn't until she was fully rolled over onto her stomach that she knew. She can't grab what she can't see. Quinn was taking things way too far, but Rachel wasn't about to go through all this with no payoff, so she remained silent, only letting a sigh escape her mouth to convey her frustration. She knew Quinn heard it, but likely didn't care. She obviously had her own plans for tonight.

Rachel felt Quinn grip each of her wrists and push them down into the bed. Then, she felt soft lips grazing her ear.

"These don't move, understand?"

Rachel nodded. Why did Quinn always feel the need to take control? Rachel knew it had something to do with the fact that Quinn has never really had any control over her own life, so it has to manifest in other ways. Still, it took a lot of trust on Rachel's part to be subjected to this. Quinn seemed so confident in everything she was doing. So mature. Sometimes it scared Rachel. But in this industry, you have to grow up fast. Of course Quinn was going to be miles ahead of her sexually. She was already wise beyond her years in other aspects.

Rachel's thoughts were interrupted by a very faint, familiar sound. A small click and then she saw Quinn's bra fly off the side of the bed. She felt some shuffling above her and knew that Quinn was ridding herself of her underwear, as well. Before Rachel had any time to react, she felt a pair of magnificent breasts skimming up and down her back. Each pass was followed closely by that recognizable tongue. It rendered Rachel paralyzed for a moment. She wasn't even sure if she was breathing. All she knew was that apparently, the small of her back was some sort of erogenous zone. It had to be with the reaction she was having.

Her body tensed as Quinn licked her way up from the base of her spin to the top of her neck. She tried stifling a moan, but it felt too good not to audibly express it. Her moaning soon turned to panting. She forced her hands to stay where they were. They were gripping the sheets tightly as Quinn continued the assault on her skin.

She felt Quinn straddling her and nearly lost her mind as the feeling of the wet heat between the girl's legs. She wanted her so badly. Perhaps that was Quinn's plan all along. To make Rachel crave her to the point of insanity. She was trembling now, silently begging for something. Anything. She curled her back up into Quinn's body and felt the blonde's nipples brush along her back. Rachel grinned when she heard a tiny gasp escape Quinn's mouth.

She felt Quinn move over so her right leg was between Rachel legs.

"Rachel?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm sorry I have to leave."

"I know." Rachel could feel Quinn's nails running up and down her back.

"And I'm sorry for having to keep this a secret."

Rachel nodded. She hated that, too. More than anything. "I know."

Quinn's fingertips moved more languidly down the small of her back.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

Quinn's hand brushed down past Rachel's ass as her fingers started to cup Rachel's soaked center.

The brunette swallowed hard.

"You won't forget about me, will you?"

Rachel took in a deep, choppy breath. "No, Quinn. I won't forget about you."

By the time Rachel finished her sentence, Quinn's fingers plunged into Rachel, rubbing rhythmically against the bundle of nerves housed between her legs. She felt the full weight of Quinn's body on top of her. It was too much. It was all too much. The skin against her own, the relief she finally felt as she grinded against Quinn's fingers, the feeling of Quinn's other hand cupping her breast. There was really nothing else she could do but scream. So she did. It was a sound she didn't even know she was capable of making - at least not in the throes of passion. It was a release of everything that had been building up, everything that Quinn had stirred within her.

She gripped the sheets even tighter as Quinn's fingers glided across her clit with ease, feeling exactly how wet she was.

"Oh God," Rachel cried out. She lifted her hips, aching for more of Quinn's fingers and then slammed them down into the bed. Again, she lifted her hips and slammed them down as they began to find their rhythm with each other. "Quinn...that...feels so...good."

With each pant, Rachel was feeling more and more giddy. With every exhale, she let out a string of incoherent words and intoxicating moans.

Quinn's fingers were now making circles around her clit as her other hand pinched Rachel's hardened nipple between her thumb and index finger. Rachel just about lost it. She threw her head back and tried to turn around to catch Quinn's lips. She needed it. If she couldn't touch her, then God damn it, she was at least going to kiss her. She was thankful when Quinn obliged and kissed her. Both girls were breathing deeply through their noses, nearly unable to hold the kiss for very long.

Quinn kissed her once again, deeply and passionately. The moment their tongues made contact, Quinn drove two fingers inside of her. And Rachel nearly blacked out. She could feel Quinn's hips driving into her with each measured thrust. She could hear Quinn's moans echo in her ear and could vaguely hear her repeating something along the lines of 'you feel so good.'

"Quinn, don't stop. Please don't stop. God, I'm so close."

Quinn whimpered, as if those words were simply too much for her to hear. She moved from Rachel's mouth to kiss the back of her neck. She bit Rachel's shoulder, trying to suppress her own screaming.

Rachel's hand was suddenly being guided down behind her.

"Touch me," whispered Quinn.

She was beyond elated the moment she finally got to touch Quinn. Her fingers immediately went to work, but the angle was difficult and she wasn't sure that she was going to be able to last much longer. But from the way Quinn was groaning, it seemed she was rather close, too. Quinn began to shake above her, crying out Rachel's name over and over again as she came.

Rachel delighted in the feeling of Quinn inside of her, completely filling her while calling out her name in pleasure. She could feel her stomach coiling as something burned deep inside of her, begging to be let out. She winced in pain as Quinn bit her shoulder even harder than before. It hurt so good. She could feel her stomach tense up, she felt her walls clamp down around Quinn's fingers and all it took was a third finger massaging that mound of nerves as two other fingers pushed deep inside of her. And that's when Rachel fell. Everything went white, her mind went blank. She heard screaming that she was pretty sure was hers. It felt like every part of her exploded into tiny pieces and Quinn's magic fingers were slowly putting her back together again. Quinn wrapped her free arm around her as she guided Rachel down from her orgasm. Soon, she collapsed on top of her, lazily placing kisses along her back.

"I love you."

"Mmm...I love you, too, Quinn." Rachel couldn't move. She didn't know if she wanted to, so she stayed her on her stomach with Quinn draped on top of her. "That was...intense."

"Yeah, it definitely was."

That was the last thing Rachel remembered before falling into a deep, much needed slumber.

\--

The next few days seemed to all blur together. Neither girl could tell whether it was day or night outside because the only time they left the bed was to eat the room service they ordered. Quinn had canceled all her appointments, feigning illness. These were their last days together for a while and she wanted to make the most of it.

At what she believed was around 1:00am (she couldn't be too sure because she had shut her phone off and they had knocked the clock off of the bedside table at some point) Quinn awoke to an empty bed. She groggily looked around and then collapsed down on the bed again. She peaked down into the covers to see if...yup...she was naked. She's pretty sure that, with the exception of the robes they wore to eat at the table, neither of them had been clothed for the last two days. What was the point, really? They were just going to come off again. Quinn turned onto her stomach and tried to fall back to sleep while waiting for Rachel to return from wherever she was. The sheets were soft and the blanket was warm. She was comfortable. And happy. And stress-free for once in her life. All it took was holing herself up with Rachel for a few days. She knew when things got tough over the next few months, she'd be able to think back on this time and hopefully it'll bring her some semblance of peace.

She turned to her side and grabbed Rachel's pillow as a placeholder until she came back. And that's when she heard the shower running in the second bathroom across the main living area.

She was exhausted. She needed more sleep, but at the same time, she needed more Rachel. She rolled herself out of bed, almost stumbling as her feet tried to plant themselves on solid ground. She walked out the master bedroom door and across the living room. She stopped by the kitchen nook to grab a bottled water. She was going to need to stay hydrated if they kept this up. Her feet were cold against the tile until they found solace on the carpet once more. The bathroom door was only slightly cracked open, so she pushed her way though and was greeted with a deluge of steam.

She could barely see anything and the mirror was completely fogged up.

"Rachel?"

"Quinn?"

"What are you doing?"

"I'm cooking spaghetti."

"Very funny. I mean why are you using this shower?"

"I didn't want to wake you. I didn't think you'd hear the water in here from the bedroom."

Quinn made her way to the sound of Rachel's voice. The steam was finally starting to clear with the door open. She approached the glass door slid it open and peaked her head inside, her heart palpitating just thinking of Rachel's wet skin.

She was not disappointed. Rachel's long, chestnut locks clung to her skin as the water cascaded down her back. She turned around to face a very turned on Quinn.

"Hi?"

"Hi."

"I'm almost done if you want to jump in."

Quinn shook her head.

"You're not almost done.

"I'm not?" Rachel looked perplexed.

Quinn stepped into the shower, welcoming the warmth of the steam and the water.

"No. Not by a long shot."

She lunged toward her sopping wet girlfriend and kissed her roughly. The right side of her body was getting drenched while her left side was still completely dry. It was an odd sensation. She moved herself fully under the nozzle, tasting the water trickling down between their lips.

She choked back a faint cry in the back of her throat as she felt her nipple come into contact with Rachel's, each one hardening at the sensation. Her hands moved down just above Rachel's ass and rested there briefly as she pulled her in closer. The slickness of her skin was intoxicating to Quinn.

Rachel giggled as Quinn licked a few drops of water from her neck.

"Again? Aren't you exhausted?"

Quinn kept her focus on Rachel's body. "I was. I was all comfy in bed waiting for you to come back so we could cuddle and then I heard the shower. And then I thought of you...in the shower. And then I wanted to be in the shower with you. Doing things. So now that's what we're doing." She lowered her head and skimmed her tongue along Rachel's breast, taking it into her mouth and attacking her aching nipple with her tongue. "Do you want me to stop?"

Rachel dug her nails into Quinn's scalp. "God, no."

Quinn continued her assault on Rachel's breasts, moving from one to the other with her mouth, memorizing every noise and gasp she elicited from Rachel. As hot as this was, she was having difficulty trying not to choke on the water beating down on them. She moved them up against the tiled wall, out of the direct path of the water.

By this point, she was already worked up. She wasn't sure what was wrong with her, but she had become completely insatiable. Rachel must have sensed just how ready she was because the diva made a very bold and daring move.

Quinn jolted the moment Rachel's fingers were inside of her. There was no warning. No teasing. No foreplay. Just fingers. Inside. And it felt incredible. Quinn nearly lost her balance. Suddenly, standing was a concept she couldn't quite comprehend. How was one supposed to stand when this beautiful, naked, soaking wet girl before her was inside of her, pumping away, finding that spot that made Quinn lose her mind. She allowed herself to put her weight against Rachel until she could regain her balance. She pulled back and looked at her. Deep brown orbs were staring back at her with more and more intensity in each passing second. They focused intently on each other, breathed with each other, their mouths open, breaths warm, their bodies rubbing against each other. Rachel's eyes told the whole story of what she was feeling. She could tell because Quinn was feeling all of it, too. She couldn't tell if it was the water, sweat or tears, but she began to taste something salty and she could swear she was watching tears fall from Rachel's eyes, as well. Why did this girl make her feel like this? How was she able to make her lose such control over her emotions? Quinn was terrified of everything she was feeling, but mostly terrified of losing the girl she was making love to. Whether it was over distance or time or keeping things a secret, she knew it was a matter of time before Rachel would get tired of waiting and move on. Quinn couldn't let that happen. So her plan was that she was going to fuck herself deep into Rachel's psyche, ruining her for anyone else. It was her only hope, her only defense. She just hoped that it was enough, that she was enough.

She could feel Rachel curl her fingers inside of her and Quinn nearly lost it. She pounded heavily on the tile.

"Again."

Rachel repeated her actions and Quinn needed to do something. She needed to feel Rachel. They were both panting profusely, still focused on each other's eyes, reading each other's thoughts with no words at all. Quinn gave Rachel a questioning look and Rachel immediately nodded in approval.

Quinn ran her fingers along Rachel's slit before settling at her entrance. She flicked her clit a few times with her thumb, but by this point, there was no point in prolonging it. They both wanted it. They needed release. So Quinn dipped a finger inside of Rachel, both girls moaning in unison. Rachel started grinding against Quinn as the blonde added a second finger to the mix, feeling Rachel's walls stretch. She didn't know how it was possible that each time they had sex was better than the time before. She closed her eyes and bit her lip as Rachel started speeding up her rhythm.

"I'm so close, Rach." It was all she could choke out.

"Me too." Rachel's mouth encompassed Quinn's ear as she whispered, "Come with me, Quinn."

And so she did. She came hard. And long. It was almost scary how long her orgasm lasted. She shook and shuddered as they held onto each other, but it didn't seem to end. Rachel came with a whimper and a quiver, but Quinn seemed to come with a bang, a scream, a moan, massive amounts of trembling, and repeated that pattern several times. By the time she came down, she wondered if it was possible for a body to actually explode. She was pretty sure this was the closest anyone had gotten.

She fell limp and Rachel caught her in her arms. The shorter girl reached over to turn off the water.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed."

\--

After copious amounts of rest and re-hydration, they spent the rest of their time together in bed, cuddling, talking, making love, discussing Quinn's next film and Rachel's senior year, holding onto each other in any way they could. Because they both knew that the next few months were going to hurt.


	22. Losing Half a Year Waiting For You Here

After a tearful goodbye, Rachel reluctantly returned to Lima with little fanfare. (Unless you counted the streamers, "Welcome Home" banners and dinner her fathers had waiting for her when she got home.) The rest of her summer was fairly uneventful. She made the occasional trip to the mall with Kurt and Mercedes and had a few coffee dates with Santana and Brittany, but overall, it couldn't compare to the whirlwind that was Los Angeles and the blonde that occupied most of her time there.

Quinn went off on her promo tour, then flew off to Prague to begin filming while turning eighteen in the process. Rachel called her on her birthday, making sure to call exactly at 6:00pm Lima time so it would be midnight in Prague. Quinn was celebrating with the cast and crew at some night club, but immediately went outside and talked to Rachel for over an hour. Some of the crew were sent to look for her, eventually finding her sitting on a curb outside the club, laughing hysterically at whatever story Rachel was telling her.

Rachel missed that laugh. Among many other things.

During their time apart, they skyped, texted, emailed and managed to get in a few phone calls, but other than constantly wondering what Quinn was doing and who she was with and what she was thinking about, Rachel spent the rest of the summer catching up. She had been slacking off in her singing, dancing and exercise routines, so she decided to take advantage and up her game while she had no distractions. She wanted to start off her senior year proving that she was the powerhouse performer she had always been.

Finally, it was one week before school started, but instead of excitement, Rachel felt a sense of dread. Last year had been one hell of a rollercoaster, but by the end, she had found a safety net in Quinn. She had found her confidence and no longer worried about being considered the school's biggest loser. But was it only because of Quinn that she had found that confidence? What if she had to spend her senior year cleaning slushies off of her animal sweaters and getting picked on by the Cheerios? She shook that thought from her mind. Santana wouldn't let that happen to her...would she? She was her friend now, right?

She lay back on her bed as panic began to set in. What if hanging with Quinn was the only thing that gave her any kind of status in school last year? Her anxiety only got worse because the more she thought about Quinn not being at school with her this year, the more she started to really miss her. It had been days since her last email. And the last text she got from her simply said "good night."

At least once a day, Rachel found herself re-reading all their email exchanges and text conversations. It brought her a sense of comfort. But now, it wasn't enough. She was really starting to miss her, but she didn't want to bombard her with more emails and texts. She knew how busy Quinn was and she sure as hell didn't need Quinn to know how pathetic she was being. She would simply have to hide her desperation. Keep it to herself. In the comfort of her own room.

Her desperation reached its peak when she dug around under her bed, searching for something she had tried to keep hidden from Quinn after her first visit to her room. She felt around for the DVD set and pulled out season three of Outside Hearts. She wiped some dust off of it and examined the box, studying the three pictures of Quinn on it. This was definitely her low point, but she missed her so much right now, she didn't really care how pathetic she was. Binge watching an entire season of Quinn's show was the closest she'd get to her in a long while.

As she opened the DVD box, an envelope fell out of it with Rachel's name on it. Confused, she put the DVDs down and picked up the envelope. There was no doubt about it. It was Quinn's writing. Her heart began to race as she tore it open and read the pages it contained.

"Dear Rachel,

If you found this letter, then we must have been separated for quite some time. Most likely it's my fault and probably due to my schedule. And for this, I apologize. I had a feeling if you started really missing me, you'd reach for this season of the show. I remember once you told me it was your favorite season. Remind me to thank Brittany for successfully planting this in the right place. And don't think I didn't know this was under your bed. I found your little stash a while ago. You shameful, dirty girl. (I also found the photo of me that you ripped out of People Magazine. What are we going to do with you?)

So...we're apart. And it's probably been for a few weeks...or perhaps months? And it's probably sucking for both of us right now. If you're wondering where I am or what I'm doing, just always assume I'm thinking of you. Because it's true. You're too beautiful not to think about constantly. I sincerely hope you're not having any doubts about us. Because I'm not. And it will have been a while since I've written this, but I know my heart and I know I'm always going to feel this way about you. This letter is to help you remember that.

I know this is hard. But I also know that, for me at least, it'll all be worth it when I can see you again. Even if it's just for a day. Or an hour. That's the thought that's keeping me going. I'm hoping you feel the same way.

You're starting senior year soon! Or maybe you've already started. I'm really not sure when you'll be reading this. You're probably thrilled to not have me joined at your hip every second, following you around the school. I'm not gonna lie. Sometimes I worry. I know you have a jealous side, but I'm gonna let you in on a little secret. I have one, too. I try hard not to show it, though. Sometimes I think about what it's going to be like for you at school. As far as everyone there knows (with the exception of Santana and Brittany), you're single. That, coupled with the fact that you're gorgeous, makes me worry. And it's what makes me jealous. You don't know how sexy you are. You don't know that I constantly think about your body. Like all the time. You don't know that every time you walk, your hips and ass do this...swaying thing that drives me insane. And I know that other people are thinking it, too. It's only a matter of time before they all notice, if they haven't already. That's what drives me crazy.

But I have faith in us. I have faith in you. And I want you to embrace it all. Embrace your sexiness. Embrace how beautiful you are and show the world. I'll just be here wondering how many people are going to hit on you this year. And don't even get me started about when you go to New York. But I'll deal with that jealousy when it comes.

In the meantime, I'll just have to go to sleep dreaming of your body against mine. I know that will be the only thing that keeps me sane.

So hopefully I've quelled your fears and insecurities a bit. I won't judge you if you still find yourself needing to watch "Outside Hearts." Just remember I was going through my awkward teenage years on the show!

I love you. (Even from thousands of miles away).

Q"

Rachel sat on the floor with her back against the bed. By this point, she had shoved her Outside Hearts DVDs back under the bed and was re-reading the letter for the third time. She leaned her head back against the bed. This was exactly what she needed. How did Quinn know her so well? It was almost frightening. She grabbed her phone and sent her a simple text thanking her for the letter. She didn't care that it was four in the morning where Quinn was. She knew Quinn wouldn't care, either.

\--

The first day of school wasn't as nerve-wracking as she initially thought it would be. She decided it was going to be a good year. After all, she was a senior. This was the first time she walked through the doors feeling confident, without fearing rogue slushies flying in her direction. Her choice of wardrobe was a bit of a departure from what she would normally wear. She was dressed in a tight black mini dress, black tights, a red belt and high heels. She held her head high as she sauntered down the hallway. She could tell that heads were turning as she walked by, but she paid no attention. She smirked feeling the eyes boring into the back of her head...or, if we're being honest, her backside in general.

She reached her locker where Santana and Brittany were whispering to each other.

"Dayum, Berry." Santana made no effort to hide her enthusiasm.

Rachel looked at her and grinned as she walked past her. "You can pick your jaw up off the floor now."

As she left, she overheard Santana whisper to Brittany, "Our little Berry is all grown up now."

It was the first glee club meeting of the year and Rachel was far more excited than she was last year. She walked into the choir room and was greeted with wide eyes and whistles. She tried not to blush, but when Kurt Hummel is hooting and hollering at you, it's hard not to feel a little embarrassed.

She cleared her throat and regained her composure.

"Yes, well. Hello to you, too. Let's get started. We have no time to waste."

She was in full diva mode when she grabbed a marker and started mapping out a game plan on the whiteboard before Mr. Schuester even arrived. She had to take control now. She relinquished too much of it last year and now, this was HER year. Her senior year. And this was HER glee club. They had to win and she was going to make sure of that.

"Aaaaaaaaand she's back, ladies and gentlemen," exclaimed Kurt.

Rachel turned around. "She never left."

Sam smiled at the comment while Mercedes rolled her eyes and Brittany clapped, excited to see this side of Rachel again.

"So...does anyone have any ideas for sectionals?"

\--

A few weeks later, Rachel was picking at her food in the cafeteria, trying to stay awake. She had a very long IM session with Quinn the night before and was definitely paying for it now.

"I like to play with my food, too," said Brittany. "Only, I'm not really sure how to play with vegan food. Is it cruel to use vegan food as entertainment?"

Rachel looked at her, only half understanding her question. "No. It's not cruel. Maybe wasteful, but not cruel."

Santana was sitting across from them, looking through her iPod with only one earphone in. She occasionally chimed in on Rachel and Brittany's conversation.

"You look tired. When I'm tired it's because Lord Tubbington plays his dubstep music too loud in the middle of the night," said Brittany.

Rachel laughed. "I was up all night talking to Quinn."

"You don't sound very happy about it."

Rachel pushed her food away and lay her head down on the table.

"I just didn't think it would be this hard."

"Wanky," Santana chimed in.

"Very funny. I just really miss her. I've never done this before."

"Done what," asked Brittany.

"Had a long distance relationship. With the exception of my relationship with New York. I feel like I'm going crazy. I mean, what's the best way to handle something like this?"

"Phone sex," offered Santana.

"Santana! Please. I'm being serious."

The cheerio pulled out her earphone and turned off her iPod.

"So am I. You say you're going crazy. You say you really miss her. Did it ever occur to you that maybe you're sexually frustrated? You were getting all this play and now you're getting none of it. You just had to stop cold turkey. It's enough to drive anyone crazy. So...phone sex."

Rachel looked around. "Keep your voice down."

"She has a point, Rachel," offered Brittany. "There was one time when I was in Cleveland visiting my grandmother and Santana called me telling me how hard up she was and so-"

"Britt Britt, you don't need to finish that sentence. I think she gets it."

Rachel nodded at Santana. "Thank you for sparing me."

"Anyway, it was really fun," continued Brittany. "And we ended up not missing each other so much. And it was the best night's sleep I'd had in a long time."

Santana shrugged. "True." She turned to face Rachel fully. "Look, I'm not saying it's the only option, but it's a good one. And it should hold you both over until you see each other again. That is unless she's already knocking boots with some hot stunt double or something."

Rachel pounded her head into the table. "Did you really have to go there?"

"Can we stop with the dramatics?"

"I thought you missed my dramatics."

"I must have been high when I admitted that."

Rachel kept her head on the table and her eyes closed as everything else in the cafeteria turned to white noise.

"So Britt, what time should I come over tonight," asked Santana.

Suddenly, Rachel gasped and jumped the moment she felt a hand on her knee.

"Santana!"

"What?"

"That was my knee!"

Santana's eyes went wide and she soon looked horrified. "Oh God. I have to go wash my hands. Like right now."

"If you're going to cop a feel with your secret girlfriend, can you please make sure it's not actually the knee of some other girl with a secret girlfriend? It confuses things!"

"You think I meant for that to happen, Berry? Gross."

"Should I be jealous," asked Brittany.

"No!" They emphatically replied in unison.

\--

Rachel opted out of Santana's suggestion of phone sex. Of course, if Quinn brought it up, she wouldn't be opposed to it. But to bring it up herself? It was just too humiliating.

A month later, she was fully immersed in the semester and trying to keep as busy as possible. Glee rehearsals, dance classes, even an occasional party filled her schedule. Anything in order to keep herself from thinking of Quinn all hours of the day.

It was a Saturday evening and she had plans to go shopping with Kurt and Blaine, but when Quinn texted asking for an impromptu Skype session, Rachel immediately canceled her plans feigning illness.

She sat in front of the computer anxiously waiting for the call. When it finally came through, she was beyond elated. Once the sound came in and the picture became clear, she was taken aback by just how astoundingly gorgeous Quinn was.

"Hey stranger."

"Hi, Quinn." She tried to keep her voice from going up three octaves from her excitement.

"How's Ohio treating you?"

Rachel shrugged. "The same way I'm treating it, I guess."

Quinn nodded, licking her lips as if she was trying to formulate her next sentence.

Rachel thought she'd give her a little more time.

"Your hair is longer."

Quinn reached up and ran her hand through her blond locks.

"Oh...yeah. They want it really long for the film. I guess it was in a ponytail the last time we skyped."

"It looks good." Rachel paused for a moment. "You look good."

"Thanks. So do you. Like really, really good. I've missed you so much."

"Me too." Rachel adjusted her laptop screen so the glare wouldn't obfuscate her view of Quinn.

"It's so good to see your face."

Rachel shyly looked down. "How is everything over there? One big party?"

"Haha. Hardly. It's been pretty grueling. I'm not used to these long hours. I guess being of legal age means more responsibility."

"Yeah, but it also means less parental supervision," said Rachel.

"Very true. It's weird. This is the first time they haven't chaperoned a film shoot with me. They made it very clear they wanted to come, but the studio refused to pay for their flight or hotel, so they opted to stay home."

"Do you miss them?"

Quinn shook her head. "No. It's been quite liberating without them here. Especially without my mother. She still manages to find a way to butt in to my life any chance she gets. I get daily emails from her. She and my dad have both been on me about your visit to L.A."

"What are they saying?"

"I won't bore you with the details. Let's just say she's not entirely convinced that our relationship is strictly platonic."

"Oh my God. So she knows?"

Quinn shook her head. "She'll never say it. Even if she had solid proof, she would still never admit it. And quite frankly, I'm tired of her bullshit. I get it. I can't come out. But she doesn't need to be constantly on my ass about it. Especially if she refuses to talk about it. She just keeps hinting at things."

"Like what?"

"She's asking me incessantly about the cast. Who's in it and how old are they and how many girls and how many guys and she wants to know about the crew. She insists that I spend most of my time hanging out with Brandon."

"Brandon?"

"Brandon Asher. My co-star. She keeps telling me it'll be good for publicity. Which is code for 'rumors of a torrid love affair will run rampant and no one will be the wiser.' She's disgustingly transparent."

Rachel nodded. It wasn't easy for her to hear any of this. "Well, are you going to?"

"Going to what?"

"Allow those rumors to spread about you and Brandon."

"No. God no! I would never give my mother the satisfaction. But Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Rumors do spread. And you need to know that they mean nothing. Whatever you read or hear about me, unless it comes from my own mouth, it's not true."

"Well I know that, silly. What if I hear a rumor that you're a raging lesbian who's dating a gorgeous future Broadway star?"

Quinn smiled. "Lies! All lies. Don't believe a word of it!"

They were silent for a while, just taking in each other. Rachel was trying to memorize Quinn's face. God, she had missed that face.

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"You ever feel lonely?"

"Yeah. Almost every day."

"Same here. Except right now. Right now I feel...safe. And happy. But it's hard to sleep without you here."

"I know what you mean. But filming will be over soon enough, right?"

Quinn shrugged. "Honestly, I have no idea. I was told four months and I sure as hell hope they stick to that. It's always hard to tell with film shoots though, but so far we're on schedule."

Suddenly, Rachel's screen went black. She hit the side of her laptop trying to fix it.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I lost video."

"Shoot. The internet here is a little whacked. Try...eet...thu...ont...maybe that...wo..."

And then there was nothing. No sound, no video. Just a blank screen where Quinn once was. Rachel tried to call back, but it wasn't going through. Just as she gave up, her phone buzzed with a text.

"Lost service. So sorry. I love you. Sweet dreams. -Q"

The way Rachel saw it, there were two things she could do: lie in bed and think about Quinn and over analyze every single word of the conversation they just had or call Kurt, explain that she's feeling much better and join them on their shopping trip. She opted for the latter choice, but not without shooting a text back to Quinn stating that she loved her too and that the studio should spring for a better laptop and a place with better wifi.


	23. Nothing Now Can Ever Come Between Us

Quinn couldn't remember the last time she felt so uncomfortable. Her back was killing her, her throat was dry, sweat poured from her face as the lights above nearly blinded her. She kept flipping her hair back, trying to keep it from sticking to her neck. She watched as people milled around her, going about their business as if they didn't even care how uncomfortable she was. And why would they? She's just the talent. She learned at a young age not to complain.

'No one likes a complainer, Quinnie. They're more likely to give the part to a different girl who doesn't complain,' her mother would always remind her.

Nope. She would remain silent, not wanting to make waves. Besides, this was only a close-up shot. Her stunt double would be doing the more dangerous part. And she knew the crew worked twice as hard as she did, so who was she to express her fatigue? Though, she really hated the harness she was wearing. It was pulling in some awkward places. She had been in this position, hanging from the ceiling and dangling mid-air for over an hour. They were in between takes as the lighting crew adjusted the lighting.

She was starting to get a little light-headed and was relieved when the director called "Action." The slate clamped down and everyone grew silent. Quinn was very aware of the boom mike hovering above her. The cameras were ready, but before she could deliver her line, the director stopped her.

"Cut! We need makeup touch ups for Quinn and Brandon. Where's makeup?"

Quinn was suddenly charged at by two woman attacking her with brushes and sponges and sprays, wiping off sweat and dabbing her face with makeup. She had an itch on her nose that she couldn't quite get to.

When she heard someone laughing next to her, she turned to see Brandon, also suspended from a cable. He was getting a kick out of Quinn's misfortunes.

"Hey, knock it off. You're sweating, too," she griped.

"Yeah, but I make it look sexy."

She shoved him slightly and made his cable wobble.

"Careful now. You're not allowed to destroy my beautiful face."

"You can't possibly be comfortable."

"Yeah, the harness is chafing me a bit, but I like that it feels like I'm flying." He made broad sweeping motions with his arms as if he were flying. "You should try doing this. It helps."

"I'd rather not move the cable, thanks."

Over the past few months, Quinn had come to enjoy hanging out with Brandon. She wondered why they didn't bring back her original co-star, Mason, from the first film. It seemed that the powers that be wanted to pair Quinn with a new leading man. But after getting to know him, she didn't mind. He was sweet, but had a wild side that sometimes scared Quinn. But of all the cast and crew, she seemed to gel with him the most. There was something non-threatening about him. And he was always able to make her laugh, even in the most stressful situations.

"So what are you up to tonight," asked Brandon as the makeup crew finished touching up his face.

"Nothing."

"A bunch of us are gonna go out and check out some new clubs and see some sights. You wanna come?"

"The only thing I plan on seeing tonight is the back of my eyelids."

"Come on. It'll be fun!"

"How do you have all this energy?" Quinn knew how he got it and was only half joking when she asked.

"It's the rush of acting. It gets me wired. Get it? Wired." He tugged the cable that was suspending him in the air.

"It's not funny if you have to explain it."

"So, are you in tonight?"

"Maybe next time."

The director interrupted their small talk.

"Okay, this is a take, everyone!"

It was definitely going to be a long day on the set. She was exhausted. They had been filming for months and she was beginning to lose track of her days. The only thing that kept her going was the thought of seeing Rachel again once filming was over. In the meantime, she kept herself ensconced in her work.

\--

A few days later, they were in the middle of another grueling shoot day when Quinn decided to venture off the set during one of their breaks. She didn't get far before she ran into Brandon, who was sitting on an equipment trunk in the alley near the back door of the soundstage.

"Hey."

"Hey."

He scooted over. "Have a seat."

"Thanks." Quinn took him up on his offer and jumped up on the trunk next to him.

"Feeling a bit claustrophobic in there?"

She nodded. "A little."

"Yeah, me too. I think I'm about ready to go home. This place is played out. Thank God we're almost done."

"Not loving the nightlife here anymore?"

"The novelty wore off a while ago."

"At least it's beautiful here. And there's so much history. I just wish I had more time to enjoy it."

He nodded.

"Quinn, can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Well, you're young, you're hot, you're famous. How come you rarely ever go out with us? Are you not a fan of fun?"

Quinn sighed. "I like fun. I'm not a total buzzkill, but I think I got the partying out of my system a while ago." She kicked her heels against the trunk. "Clubs, drugs, alcohol...they were all readily available to me and my costars on the show. Sixteen-year-olds should not be drinking that much. But I didn't realize that at the time. I was having too much fun. People were catering to my every whim. I was above all the rules. It was nice."

"So why did you stop?"

Quinn leaned back against the wall. "I was scared of what all the excess would do to me. You hear all the horror stories about child actors. No one wants to be another statistic. Plus, I got in a little over my head with a...relationship. Everything got to be a little much. And that's when my parents moved me to the middle of nowhere. I think that kind of helped."

Quinn couldn't believe how much she was revealing to him, but it was nice to have someone to talk to. She needed a friend and he seemed up for the task.

Brandon was quiet for a moment, trying to formulate his next thought. Once vocalized, his thought completely threw Quinn off guard.

"Is that where you met Rachel?"

Quinn froze. "Rachel?"

"Yeah, that girl who's always texting you. Her name pops up on your phone constantly."

"Are you spying on me?" It came out a little more aggressive than Quinn wanted it to.

He held his hands up in defense. "Hey, you've asked me to hold your phone a few times when you were needed for a shot on set. It vibrates, I look. I'm only human to want to know who's texting the Great Quinn Fabray. It's not a California area code, so I figured she's a friend of yours from Ohio."

Quinn let out a very subtle sigh of relief. "Oh. Yeah. Yeah, she's a friend of mine."

He nodded. "She's cute."

Quinn looked at him incredulously.

"Her picture pops up with the number," he said defensively.

"You're nosy."

"It's part of my charm. Is she single?"

Quinn laughed. "If you think I'm letting you anywhere near her, you're sorely mistaken."

Brandon gave Quinn the side eye, looking her up and down. "Somehow I believe you."

He took this opportunity to look around before pulling a small vial out of his pocket. Quinn watched as he tapped out a white, powdery substance between his thumb and index finger. He looked at her briefly before snorting it.

Quinn couldn't believe how cavalier he was about it. Especially since she was right there. This wasn't the first time she had seen him do it, but it was the first time he had done it knowing it was right in front of her. As much as she didn't want to judge him, she felt disappointed having witnessed this.

He held out the vial.

"Want some?"

Quinn shook her head. "No thanks." She had a hard time looking him in the eye after that. "Are you sure you want to be doing that?"

"We've got eighteen hour days on set. I have to get through it somehow."

"Haven't you ever heard of coffee?"

"It's not strong enough. I've tried." He put the vial back in his pocket. "Look, if it bothers you, I won't do it in front of you, okay? I just...I thought you were cool."

"I am cool. I'm not gonna telling anyone or anything. I'm just concerned."

"Well so am I. For you."

Quinn was confused. How did he manage to turn this around on her? "What do you mean? Why are you concerned for me?"

Brandon swiped at his nose and sniffled. "Look, it's none of my business."

"What's none of your business?"

"You and that Rachel girl. You two are like...together...right?"

Suddenly the blood in Quinn's veins turned cold. She could feel her face turn white and was pretty sure her heart had fallen into her stomach. She swallowed thickly and tried to think of something to say. Anything. She wanted to deny it. She wanted to scream at him and tell him he's wrong and that she liked guys and what he was suggesting was simply not true.

"You have no idea what you're talking about," she scoffed as she jumped off the trunk and headed toward the stage door.

He caught her by the arm before she could get anywhere.

"Quinn, wait."

"I have to go." She tried to pull away from his grip, but he only held on harder.

"Look, it's okay. I promise, it's okay. I'm not going to say anything to anyone. It's nobody's business."

"Apparently you've decided to make it your business." She was near tears by this point, thinking only of the fallout. Brandon would tell some extra he's sleeping with who will tell the second AD who would tell the director who would inform the producers who will boot her from production and that news would be splashed all over the tabloids. She couldn't keep her mind from going to the worst place possible.

"Quinn, please calm down, okay? I just thought you'd want someone to talk to about it."

By this point, she gave up trying to escape his grasp. Instead, she found herself weakening. Her shoulders shuddered as she tried to hold back tears.

"Come here." He hopped off the trunk and pulled her into a hug. "Look, I know we're not best friends or anything, but I like you. I've enjoyed spending time with you. And if you think I'm gonna tell anyone about this, you're wrong."

"How do I know that," asked Quinn, all but admitting the truth.

"My brother is gay. I was the first person he told because he was terrified about how everyone would react. I kept that to myself for years until he was finally ready to come out. And that's something that should always be done on your own time in your own way. And seeing the pain he was going through having to keep it to himself...I was thankful he had me to talk to about it. And that's the only reason I brought it up with you. In case you need someone."

Quinn started to feel a little better, but couldn't seem to stop shaking.

"How did you know?"

"Come here." He lifted her up onto the trunk and put his hands on her shoulders reassuringly. "The texts that came through from her...they pop up automatically. And some of them...well, they're not the kind of texts you send someone who's just your friend."

Quinn lowered her head. "Oh God."

Brandon smiled. "It's okay. Don't be embarrassed. As the risk of sounding too douchey, I gotta say, it's kind of hot."

"Yeah, that was definitely a douchey thing to say." Quinn managed to stop shaking, but she still couldn't look him in the eye.

"Do you trust me, Quinn?"

"I really don't know."

He pulled out the vial once again. "If you're ever in doubt, just remember." He held it up in front of her. "We all have secrets. Secrets that we never want the public to know. Especially if it's something that can destroy a career."

Quinn was finally able to look at him. He was right. Everyone has secrets. And maybe Brandon was struggling desperately with his own and needed someone to talk to about it. Perhaps that's why he allowed himself to do it right in front of her.

"So you won't tell anyone?"

He crossed his heart. "Not a word. Just know that I'm here if you ever need to talk."

Quinn nodded. "You too."

He took a step back. "So, break's over. What do you say we go back in?"

"Sure. Can you just give me a minute?"

"Of course. I'll tell them you'll be there in five." He walked away and looked back over his shoulder. "And Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"When you do decide it's time to tell people, you'll be breaking the hearts of millions of boys around the world."

Quinn chuckled. "Yeah right."

"I'm serious. Mine included." He held his hand to his heart and walked away.

She didn't really care about millions of hearts around the world. She only cared about one that was halfway around the world. And she wondered how that heart was holding up today.

\--

After another long day of shooting, Quinn got back to her hotel room just as her phone started ringing. After Brandon admitted to reading her texts, she decided it was best to keep her phone in her room from now on. She mustered what was left of her energy, ran over to the bed and landed with a bounce as she grabbed the phone from the side table.

"Hey Rach!"

"Oh, so you ARE alive."

"Yeah, sorry. I haven't had access to my phone all day. And I've just been so exhausted at night, I pass out the minute my head hits the pillow. I slept on my clothes last night. That's how bad it is."

Rachel was silent on the other end.

"But I've missed you," Quinn continued.

"I miss you, too."

"It's almost over. Just a couple more weeks. We're only a few days behind schedule, which is actually impressive." She kicked her shoes off and got comfortable on the bed.

"Do you go back to LA when it's over?"

"Yeah, I have a few things I need to do in LA. But I'll come to Lima as soon as I can. I just haven't gotten my ticket yet because I don't know exactly what days I'll have free. But I promise, it'll be soon."

"So...before the end of the year?"

"Oh God, yes. Before the end of the year!"

"Good."

Quinn could tell Rachel was pouting a little. And she didn't blame her at all. She knew this wasn't going to be easy on either of them, but especially Rachel.

"How's school going? Did Glee win sectionals?" A change of subject was badly needed. Quinn was hoping she'd take the bait. Meanwhile, she was struggling to get out of her jeans while still lying down. Her body was far too tired to attempt doing it standing up. She really missed wearing dresses, but the cold weather here didn't permit it.

"It's going okay," replied Rachel. "Yeah, we won. I emailed you about it a few days ago."

"Shit. I'm so sorry. I haven't had any time to check it." Quinn stared at the ceiling, feeling terrible. "I am the worst."

Rachel chuckled. "You're not the worst. You warned me that the last few weeks of filming would be intense. I expected it."

"Well congratulations. And tell them all I said good job. Did anyone film it? I'd love to watch it."

"I sent you the link in the email. I think you'll be quite proud of me. Instead of going at each other's throats, I allowed Santana and Mercedes to share solos with me."

"Wow. Are you feeling okay? Who is this?"

"Hey, it was only sectionals. For regionals and nationals, they're on their own. It'll be a fight to the death."

"Sounds hot."

Rachel laughed and Quinn sighed. She missed that laugh.

"What else is going on with you?"

"Well, I just completed my NYADA application. And I'm sending in my Tisch application for NYU in a couple weeks."

"Wow. Getting an early start?"

"I don't want to wait until the end of senior year to know whether I got in. This is just for a little peace of mind."

"You'll get in. You know you will." Quinn sat up and took off her shirt. She was in desperate need of a shower and planned jumping in the second she got off the phone. "And I'll be there to help you celebrate."

"We'll see about that. Why did your voice sound muffled?"

"Oh, I just took off my shirt."

"Oh really? What exactly are you trying to get at, Miss Fabray?"

"I'm trying to get at the shower," replied Quinn, playfully.

"Wow, you really are tired, aren't you?"

"It's not that." Quinn threw her shirt onto the chair. "I just...really, really miss you. I miss your body, your skin, that way you moan when I...you know. I miss all of it. So I try not to think about it."

"I know what you mean. I work out twice the amount I used to. I tried taking up baking. Baking, Quinn! And I'm terrible at it. So now I just work out, sing, dance, sing, sleep, sing, study, and sing. And then I realize that I'm just fooling myself and end up thinking about you anyway."

Quinn laughed. "Yeah, I guess I'm guilty of that, too."

"I miss your lips. I can't stop thinking about our last few days in LA. And then I get too worked up and have to force myself to not think about it."

Quinn's curiosity got the better of her. "So...what do you do when you get worked up?" She almost whispered the question.

There was a brief silence on the other end until Rachel finally answered. "Stuff."

Quinn smiled widely. "What kind of stuff?"

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Go take your shower. Make it a cold one."

"Ugh!" Quinn squealed in frustration. "You're really mean."

Rachel laughed. "I'm sorry. I would totally play along, but my dance class starts in twenty minutes. I don't want to be late."

"Okay, okay. Fair enough. I'm so glad you called, though. I've missed your voice."

"Me too. Get some sleep. Email me when you can. I love you."

"I love you, too."

After they hung up, Quinn stayed where she was, sprawled out on her back in the middle of the bed. It scared her how much she was missing Rachel. She thought she could handle this, but it was proving to be far too difficult. She wanted to leave. She wanted to hop the next flight to Ohio, but she knew that would be silly with only a couple weeks left of filming. She would just have to survive a little while longer.

But at this moment, she couldn't help but miss the physical intimacy the most. That's what was slowly killing her inside. And talking to Rachel tonight just made it ten times worse. She closed her eyes for the briefest of moments and pictured Rachel on top of her, kissing her neck and exploring her chest. She quickly snapped out of it and opened her eyes. But her imagination took over once more as she envisioned Rachel's head between her legs, delving into her with that amazing tongue of hers. Quinn almost moaned at the thought. She bolted up and shook the image from her mind. But her body and her brain both seemed to be working together on some sinister plot to drive Quinn crazy because no matter how hard she tried to not think of Rachel touching her in some way, the picture would always creep back into her mind. And her body started to physically react.

Quinn sighed. She knew there was no way around it. If she wanted to get any sleep tonight, there was only one thing she could do. Otherwise, thoughts of long, brown hair, deep brown eyes, that magical mouth, those lips, that toned body would haunt her all night. Really, there was only one way to solve this. It was the only logical thing. Quinn had to take matters into her own hands. Literally. So she did. She lay back down on the bed, turned off the light on the nightstand and allowed her imagination to run away with her, thinking only of Rachel, which her own hands actually belonged to her girlfriend. Eventually, that would be the case. But for now, this would have to do.


	24. You Put Your Arms Around Me and I'm Home

The roar of the crowd as McKinley scored another touchdown brought Rachel back to reality. She jumped up and clapped with them...well, as much as she could clap with her hands covered by mittens. As she cheered, she could see her breath releasing in an icy white mist in front of her. She managed to keep herself warm using the body heat of her friends next to her. Kurt was on one side, paying more attention to Blaine than the game. Tina was on the other side with her head resting on Mike's shoulder. Sam was on the other side of Mike, looking over at Rachel with an uncomfortable look on his face. She knew what he was thinking. Why would they situate themselves next to two very cute, but very nauseating couples?

With Kurt and Tina gravitating towards their significant others, Rachel was losing the body heat that was once keeping her from freezing. She was thankful she had the foresight to wear a very heavy scarf to protect her throat. No blast of cold air was getting through this thing. She didn't care if she lost her toes to frostbite...as long as her singing voice stayed intact.

"You cold?" Sam asked her once the noise died down.

"A little," admitted Rachel.

Sam opened his coat. "It's warm. And roomy. And I promise I'll be a gentleman."

Rachel laughed at the prospect of Sam being anything but a gentleman. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm okay." She thought for a moment. "But I wouldn't mind scooting in between you and Mike, if that's okay."

"Please do. I could use the buffer."

Rachel got up and sat down next to Sam, feeling the cold metal seat on her backside. It made her even colder than before. Clearly, this wasn't the smartest idea.

"Thanks. I needed to get out of that love fest."

"We can embrace our singlehood together," suggested Sam.

Rachel nodded politely. There was that word again. Single. Something many people believed Rachel had been for the past year. And though she understood why it needed to be kept under wraps, it still made her sad from time to time being unable to even tell her other friends about how in love she was. It was getting increasingly difficult.

She brushed off Sam's comment and decided that she was only feeling this way because it had been days since she heard from Quinn and she was going a little crazy. Normally, she tried to appeal to her rational side, but her demanding, diva, irrational side had a tendency to creep in every once in a while. Quinn had warned her how busy she would be in the last week of filming, so Rachel wasn't surprised when her only contact from her lately had been the occasional text. Rachel tried to play it cool, but her mind raced with so many questions and concerns. She had only recently found out that Quinn's cast mate, Brandon, had found out about them. What did that mean for their future? Did Quinn freak out when he told her? Was she going to consider his offer of being her beard? If so, did that mean that everyone in the world would think that she was dating him and not Rachel? How was that fair? Would she kiss him? Would she enjoy it?

Rachel shuddered at that thought, and it wasn't the cold. She knew Quinn had a kissing scene with him in the film, but Quinn assured her it was completely professional and not even remotely romantic since fifty people were surrounding them, watching their every move and making sure everything looked technically perfect.

Quinn didn't want to go into detail about the Brandon situation. She told Rachel that was an "in person" conversation. Rachel tried to protest, but Quinn seemed so exhausted, she let the blonde have her way this time.

Rachel tried to expel thoughts of Quinn from her mind. This is exactly why she agreed to go to the football game tonight. She needed something to distract her from how much she missed her girlfriend. Her secret girlfriend. That she couldn't talk to anyone about. Except Santana and Brittany, but she knew by this point, they were both probably tired of hearing Rachel go on and on about the girl. At one point, Santana had threatened her with a hot curling iron, chasing after her while yelling something in Spanish. After that, Rachel only ever mentioned Quinn if she was asked about her.

Speaking of Santana and Brittany, Rachel couldn't believe the dedication they had to the Cheerios. She watched in pure wonder as they performed their routines with the other Cheerios on the sidelines of the field. They had no extra layers on under or over their uniforms. She could swear Brittany's legs were turning blue from the cold and she suddenly had a new found respect for those two.

At this point, she was so cold, she just wanted to go home and be in her warm bed. She knew her dads would likely have plans for her tomorrow morning. Probably brunch or something like that, but Santana made her promise to come watch her and Brittany cheer in the last football game of the season. Rachel had no idea why, since the Cheerio never made any attempt to get her to go in the past, but maybe since this was their senior year and, for some reason, they could actually be considered friends now, Santana just wanted Rachel to support and cheer them on.

She watched as Brittany disappeared for a moment while Santana started yelling at some sophomore Cheerios.

"So, any big plans for tomorrow, Rachel," Kurt asked after finally tearing his attention away from Blaine.

Rachel shrugged. "Not really. I think my dads might have gotten me tickets to see the production of 'Newsies' at the Pavilion next month, but I don't know for sure. No big plans."

She barely finished her sentence before Kurt was facing Blaine again, laughing at whatever he was saying. Rachel rolled her eyes. Oh to be young and in love...and on the same continent as your significant other.

By the time her attention was brought back to the field, she saw Brittany running up to Santana and whispering. Then, they both looked over at Rachel. They were way too far for Rachel to hear what they were talking about, so she just looked at them questioningly and shrugged. She watched as their focus moved from Rachel, over to the opposite side of the field at the visitors' bleachers.

Her eyes followed where they were looking, but all she saw was a sea of people. Santana and Brittany looked back at her. She could see that the Latina was trying to hide a smug smirk on her face while Brittany's eyes were completely lit up.

Rachel was just plain confused.

Santana's smirk finally turned into a full-fledged smile as she gestured to the other side of the field with her head.

Rachel shook her head and mouthed "what?"

"Whoa," exclaimed Kurt. "Hey Rachel, isn't that..."

And then she saw it. She spied what looked like a familiar face across the way, leaning against the chain link fence. Rachel soon became fixated on the blonde hair showing through the purple knit cap. A black scarf and a big pair of sunglasses covered most of her face, but Rachel's heart stopped. Because, despite the very obvious disguise (hello, it was dark out and she's wearing sunglasses?) she knew without a doubt that it was her. It was Quinn Fabray. And the moment the blonde smiled at her, Rachel's heart started beating again. She sat there with her mouth agape and looked over at Santana and Brittany, who were both pointing in Quinn's direction and mouthing "go! go!"

She jumped up and leapt down the bleachers. She was pretty sure her feet didn't even touch the metal beneath her. She caught nothing but air until she hit the ground and started running. The cold was hurting her lungs, but she didn't care. She looked over to find the girl in the knit cap was gone. Still, she kept running around to the other side of the field, confident that she would find her.

She stopped and scanned the area near the fence where she last saw her, but now it was occupied by two chubby kids eating hotdogs. She turned around to see if maybe the girl was planning a sneak attack from behind, but there was no one there. She looked over at Brittany and Santana, who were now performing one of their routines. Rachel took a deep breath and felt herself tearing up. She didn't know if it was the cold, the burning in her lungs or the fact that she just missed Quinn so much, but all she wanted to do right now was cry. The girl in the purple knit cap was gone. Perhaps she was never even there. A simple mirage. An image of what Rachel really wanted to see.

But that didn't make any sense. Obviously Santana and Brittany saw her. Kurt, too. But where was she?

Suddenly, her phone buzzed. She smiled as she saw Quinn's name appear on the screen with a text message.

"You look lost."

Rachel responded with a text. "Marco?"

She strained to hear a verbal response, but the crowd was too loud.

"Wow. There's a lot of chewed up gum under here. Gross."

Rachel's head perked up. She made her way over to the end of the bleachers and turned the corner. She looked to her left underneath the bleachers and, sure enough, there was Quinn. Only now she had removed her scarf and sunglasses. She was radiant. Perfect. Rachel began to wonder if she was even real.

The brunette stood frozen for a moment, taking in the sight in front of her. She wanted to run. She wanted to wrap her arms around Quinn. But she also knew she had to be careful. This was a public place and even though no one could see them right now, it didn't mean some student wouldn't use this area to sneak a cigarette.

"You're here."

Quinn nodded. "I'm here."

"I thought...I mean...you didn't...you didn't text me or email me or anything. I didn't know you were coming. I didn't even know you were done filming."

"Well, that would have ruined the surprise, wouldn't it?"

Rachel just stared.

"I told Brittany."

"Brittany knew before I did?"

Quinn sighed. "You're mad."

Rachel thought for a moment, her eyes darting around, trying to get a grasp on the situation. Then, it hit her. She smiled brightly and decided to take a chance.

She ran up to Quinn and threw her arms around her. "No, I'm not mad. You're here! How could I be mad?"

She felt Quinn melt into the embrace and suddenly found herself wishing they weren't wearing so many layers. The only skin she could feel was Quinn's cheek against hers, but after four months of nothingness, she was thankful for it. She inhaled the scent radiating from Quinn and missed that faint smell of lavender and cedar.

She pulled back so her lips were just an inch away from Quinn's. She stayed there, too paralyzed to make a move. Quinn moved in a little closer and pulled her in for another hug. Really, what more could they do at this moment?

Rachel could feel Quinn's hot breath against her neck and she wondered if her girlfriend was having the same difficulty in keeping this public reunion G-rated.

When Quinn pulled away, she grabbed on to Rachel's arm. There was a look of desperation in her eyes that Rachel instantly recognized. She was feeling the exact same thing.

Quinn breathed heavily and swallowed hard. "Rachel, can we..."

Rachel immediately nodded. "Yes."

She led Quinn out from under the bleachers and the two girls hurriedly headed for the parking lot. It was a short ten minute drive back to Rachel's house.

\--

Rachel's teal peacoat was haphazardly thrown onto the living room couch along with Quinn's coat. Their boots were left in the foyer. Their sweaters were lining the staircase and somewhere along the way, Rachel lost a sock. But she didn't mind. Who cares about a missing sock when Quinn Fabray is so seductively ridding both of them of these damn obtrusive clothes?

By the time they made it to Rachel's room, they were only in their bras and underwear. Rachel had no idea how Quinn managed to disrobe them so quickly, but she had no complaints. They hadn't spoken a single word since they entered the house. Who has time for talking when other things can be done with mouths? Neither girl was tentative or unsure about how the other was feeling. They both know how badly they both wanted this. After four long months, it was time.

Quinn closed the door to Rachel's room and took a moment to look her up and down. She bit her lower lip and shared a small smile with the brunette. Rachel looked down and knew why Quinn was smiling. In her absence, she had tried too hard to not think about her, she had increased her number of workouts tenfold. And her toned abs, arms and legs were the definitive proof of all that exercise. Rachel took this moment to examine the girl in front of her. Her hair was even longer than the last time they Skyped. She wore it down, with loose curls falling past her shoulders. She missed that hair. She missed everything.

Quinn wasted no time in closing the gap between them. She reached her hands out to cup Rachel's face and each of them moan instantly the moment their lips crashed together. It was almost an erotic, harmonious song. Rachel's hands gripped Quinn's waist and pulled her closer. She unclasped Quinn's bra, not even bothering to ask for permission, and began to salivate immediately. The moment her mouth was on Quinn's breast, they both moaned at the contact. She ran her tongue along Quinn's straining nipple as she guided her over to the bed.

"Your dads-"

"...won't be home for hours," assured Rachel.

Rachel had no idea where this confidence was coming from, but she put her arm behind Quinn's back for support as she lay her down, pulled her body all the way onto the bed, removed her underwear and crawled on top of her all in one encompassing move. She was pretty sure she had never been so smooth in her entire life. And the shocked look on Quinn's face said it all. But Rachel didn't have time to revel in her sudden suave demeanor. There were things to be touched and tasted.

She attacked Quinn, showing her no mercy. She wasn't about to take her time with this. This was about want, need, passion. Screw foreplay. That's what the last four months were. She straddled Quinn, reached her hands behind her back and took off her bra, leaving a stunned Quinn to stare at her. Rachel smiled down at her, but only for a moment before she was off again, assailing Quinn's body.

"Rachel..."

She took Quinn moaning her name as a green light to keep moving down her stomach until her head was settled between her legs. She kissed along the inside of Quinn's thigh, causing little twitches along the way. She took in the sight of Quinn's glistening sex and nearly lost her mind. With no warning and no teasing, she delved in, running her tongue along the slick folds. She felt fingernails digging into her skull as Quinn arched up off the bed, moaning in pleasure. Rachel was relentless moving and swirling her tongue along her clit, loving the taste of her girlfriend. She lightly grazed her clit in between her teeth.

"Ohhhh...God..." Quinn was panting heavily and removed her hands from Rachel's head. Rachel looked up to see Quinn grabbing her own breasts and writhing at the feeling of Rachel's magical mouth. It was a sight that enthralled Rachel and turned her on to the point of feeling her own center aching for release. She continued her tongue's assault on Quinn while watching every single reaction the blonde had.

"Rach...God, I've missed that tongue," breathed Quinn as she arched up once more. "I'm...not gonna last long."

Rachel grew bolder as she slowly glided her finger inside her girlfriend, causing a string of mumbled words to fall out of the blonde's mouth.

"So...so close, baby."

Rachel flicked her tongue against the swollen clit and added a second finger, continuing to pump in and out of her and curling in all the right spots.

"Jesus fucking Christ!" Quinn's hands were grabbing on to Rachel's skull again, tangled in her long, brown hair. The more she writhed, the tighter she squeezed. Rachel was starting to feel the pain and getting slightly dizzy, but she refused to stop.

"You taste so good," she remarked as she flattened her tongue and repeatedly ran it all the way up, putting just the right amount of pressure on the swollen bundle of nerves.

And then she heard it. A sound she had never heard come out of Quinn before, but it was glorious. She screamed and thrashed and groaned and grunted and it was all music to Rachel's ears. Quinn finally had her release and Rachel swiped her tongue one last time before crawling back up to her and holding her until the shaking stopped.

Quinn's breath was ragged, her face was red and her body was trembling, but she looked at Rachel with nothing but appreciation and adoration. Rachel maneuvered herself on top of Quinn so she was straddling her. She reached out and intertwined her hands with Quinn's and gently kissed her lips. Quinn lifted her head to deepen the kiss and soon Rachel found herself grinding on top of her girlfriend, desperate for anything she could get. Quinn reached down between them to help out the girl on top of her. The moment Quinn touched her, Rachel knew she would come in a matter of seconds. It wasn't something she could even try to stave off, which was fine with her. They could take their time later. Right now was about release. So she rode Quinn's hand until that familiar coiling seized the pit of her stomach. Her mouth was open as they fell into a steady rhythm together. She sat up and grabbed onto the headboard as she continued grinding down onto Quinn. As her orgasm grew closer, she leaned back, put her hands behind her on the bed for support and arched her back, giving Quinn an amazing view of her abs and her breasts, which were bouncing with each thrust.

"Holy fuck," exclaimed Quinn. "You look so hot right now. That is seriously so hot."

Rachel bit her lip and closed her eyes as she felt the first wave come over her. It jolted her core as she kept riding Quinn, knowing she wasn't done yet. The second wave hit and it was much stronger than the first. She was making sounds that were beyond her control right now, almost crying out in pleasure as she began to shudder. Once the third wave hit, she was gone. Lost in her own ecstasy, lost in love, in lust, and lost in Quinn. Trying to catch her breath, she sat up and then collapsed on top of Quinn, feeling the girl's arms around her.

"That was awesome." It was the only thing Rachel managed to choke out in the middle of her post-orgasm paralysis.

Quinn caressed her back and nodded in agreement. "You need to always do that. Always be on top and always do whatever it was you just did."

Rachel smiled to herself knowing that this certainly wasn't going to be her only orgasm of the night.

\--

Quinn was resting her head on Rachel's chest with her arm thrown over Rachel's torso and their legs tangled together. Rachel nuzzled Quinn's tousled hair and sighed in contentment. She had gone far too long without feeling Quinn's skin against her own, so she took this opportunity to wrap her up in both her arms and bring them even closer together. Quinn smiled and burrowed her face in Rachel's neck.

"Why do you feel so good?"

Rachel didn't answer, but smiled and kissed the top of her head.

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Thank you."

"For what?"

"For everything. For your patience. For waiting. I know it hasn't been easy. It was hard for me, too."

Rachel laughed. "I'm sure it was so difficult galavanting around one of the most beautiful cities in the world for four months."

"Hey, I was working most of the time. It was a tough shoot."

Rachel played with a lock of Quinn's hair. "So why do you do it?"

"Hmm?"

"The shooting schedules are brutal, you're never in one place for too long, you're at the beck and call of everyone in charge. Why do you continue to do it?"

Quinn thought for a moment. "Because it's all I've ever known. It's a part of me. And I know I complain about it a lot, but I really do love acting. It scares me to think where I might be without it."

"You'd be able to be yourself."

"Am I not myself?"

"You know what I mean. If you weren't acting, you'd be able to...be with me. In public. Without caring what the masses will think."

Quinn was silent for a moment. She buried her head deeper into Rachel's neck.

"Are we really going to talk about this now? I just flew four thousand miles to see you."

Rachel shifted uncomfortably, mentally kicking herself for even bringing it up. But she was tired of always waiting and wondering.

"Well, have you thought about Brandon's offer? You know...to be your beard?"

"We really are going to do this now, aren't we?"

Rachel shrugged. "No time like the present."

Quinn started to pull away, but Rachel's grip around her prevented her from going far.

"Quinn, please don't. Just stay here, okay? We're just having an open and honest conversation. Face to face. No Skype. No email. No phone. Please. I need this."

Quinn relented and made herself comfortable again. She grabbed onto Rachel's hand and interlocked their fingers.

"Okay. I've been thinking about it. And I did want to discuss it with you. Just not while I'm naked and vulnerable and happy. But you're right. There's no time like the present. And after mulling it over for a while, I think maybe Brandon has a point. I think it's a good idea. But I won't do it if you're not comfortable with it."

Rachel's eyes closed with the sting of those words. She fought back the tears and steadied her voice.

"How long would it be for?"

"I really don't know. But like I said, I won't do it at all if you don't want me to."

"So you're leaving it up to me? That's a lot of pressure."

Quinn maneuvered herself on top of Rachel as their eyes clamped on to each other.

"Rachel, I love you. And I know you don't deserve this. And I sure as hell don't deserve you. But I need you to know how committed I am to you. I know it may not seem like it, but I am. I can't imagine my life without you. And I swear, one day we will be able to hold hands in public. I will show you off as my date to every event we go to. I will dedicate my first Oscar to you. I'll be there to proudly cheer you on when you win your first Tony Award."

Rachel sighed. She definitely needed to hear that. However, she knew the "but" was coming next.

"But," continued Quinn, right on cue, "we just have to wait. It can't be right now. I...I don't think I'm ready to come out to the world. And I'm sorry. But you can't hold that against me."

Rachel pulled her in closer. "I know. I could never hold that against you, Quinn. It's a scary thing and I understand that the fear is ten times scarier when you live your life under a microscope and so many people are relying on you." She could feel Quinn shaking in her arms, so she started rubbing her back to keep her calm. "It's okay. I just needed to know where we stand. And I needed you to know how I've been feeling. But it's all out there now. And that's a good thing."

Quinn caressed the back of Rachel's neck. "So...if I do this thing with Brandon, you'll know that it's just for show, right? That I have absolutely zero feelings for him whatsoever and whatever the press prints about us is completely false?"

Rachel nodded. "I'll only believe what you tell me. I trust you."

"I'm so sorry to put you through this."

"Okay, let's not talk about it anymore. That's enough for now. I want to enjoy our time together. I'm almost afraid to ask, but how long will you be here?"

Quinn heaved a huge sigh and collapsed down on Rachel once more. "I was dreading this question."

"That doesn't sound promising."

"I'm only here for two days."

"Two days! Quinn, that's absurd!"

"I know. I know, I hate it. But I was lucky enough to get these two days to see you. I was supposed to be back in LA for a table read today, but I got them to postpone it until Monday."

"A table read. Is that for that teen romantic comedy you're in?"

"Yeah, 'Chaos Theory.' They finalized the casting. It's a really cute script. I think you'll like it. I'm excited about it."

Rachel nodded. "Well, it will definitely be different than your last few films, so that should be fun. What are you doing after the table read?"

"I have to shoot some pick-up scenes from the one we just wrapped. And then the filming for 'Chaos Theory' begins in a couple weeks."

Rachel felt like she was gut-punched. The tears she had been trying to suppress had said "screw it" and they were flowing freely now.

"I'll miss you," sniffled Rachel.

Quinn sat up on her knees. "God, Rach. I know this sucks. It really, truly sucks. And I'll miss you so much. But I'm here now. I wanted to make it in time."

Rachel's hands were trying to catch a few tears. "In time for what?"

Quinn leaned down and kissed each of Rachel's tear-soaked cheeks, then looked over at the clock: 12:01am.

She smiled coyly at the brunette. "Happy birthday."

Rachel covered her face with her hands. She couldn't fight the embarrassment.

"Thank you."

"Did you think I'd forget?"

"No...I just...for a while there, I forgot! I was just so excited to see you."

"So, how does it feel to be eighteen?"

"It feels a lot like seventeen. As me again when I'm out of high school. But I have to say, having you here is the best gift I could ask for."

"Good. That's what I was going for." Quinn got up off the bed while wrapping a sheet around her. Rachel watched as the blonde went digging through her bag.

"You know, that sheet would look much better in its rightful place on the bed."

"I'm cold."

"Sure." Rachel rolled to her side and rested her head on her hand, waiting for Quinn to come back. "You're not leaving already, are you?"

"Not until I give you your gift." She found what she was looking for and joined Rachel back on the bed.

"I thought you were my gift."

"Please, Rachel. I couldn't come empty handed. Though, I have to admit, it's not the most creative gift. But I'm hoping you'll like it."

Rachel took the envelope and gave her girlfriend a kiss. "It can be a two-dollar coupon off frozen yogurt and I'll still love it." She opened it and pulled out a plane ticket to New York. "Oh my God. Quinn...I..."

"It's during your spring break. Turns out a few of the scenes from the new movie will be filmed there and the timing happens to coincide with your spring break. I figured while I'm filming, you can go check out the schools you're interested in. We can take in a few Broadway shows. I'll show you around a bit since I've been there a few times. I know it's a few months away, but I was thinking it was something we could both look forward to. I know long distance is hard, but I'm hoping that you think I'm worth it."

Rachel's heart melted as she attacked her girlfriend, knocking her backwards on the bed. "Of course you're worth it! And it's New York! And by then, I'll know if I've gotten accepted to any schools, so it's perfect! Quinn!" She started planting kisses all over her girlfriend's face. "Thank. You. So. Much!" She exclaimed between kisses.

Quinn giggled and tried to playfully push her off. "Wow! I hate to think of the reaction I would have gotten if it was just a frozen yogurt coupon."

Rachel silenced her with a kiss. After being so depressed that she might be spending her birthday alone and might never see Quinn again, she was beyond grateful that neither of those prophecies came true.

\--

Two days came and went. Rachel spent every waking moment with Quinn. She had a nice birthday with her dads and her girlfriend. Santana, Brittany and the rest of her glee club friends even stopped by with some vegan-friendly cupcakes with decorated music notes on them. It was a fairly low key day, which was all she wanted.

At dinner, Rachel, her dads and Quinn discussed the New York trip in detail and her dads agreed she could go if she was serious about visiting the schools there. Her dads were very friendly to Quinn and thanked her for surprising Rachel. They were happy to see her so elated. Hiram even offered to give Quinn a ride to the airport the next day, which she gladly accepted.

Quinn spent that night on the couch, per the rules of the Berry house. Rachel hated how empty her arms were, but Quinn agreed it was best since her flight was at 5am and she didn't want to wake Rachel when she left. But sometime around 1am, Rachel felt her bed dip next to her and felt two long arms holding onto her. She scooted herself back so she could fit herself perfectly into Quinn's contoured body. They fell asleep like that and Rachel felt perfectly at peace.

The peace was short-lived, however, when she woke up to find Quinn gone. A note was in her place that read, "Getting out of your bed this morning was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. But I know it will only make me stronger until I can see you again. I can keep this memory with me until we can create new ones. I love you. - Q."

She read the note a few more times, then cried herself back to sleep knowing that this time apart was going to even harder than before. But if Quinn could do it, she was determined, as well.


	25. This Woman's Work, This Woman's World

If speed equals distance over time, then there was definitely a reason that the last three months had dragged so slowly for Rachel. She hated being so far apart from Quinn for so long and her spring break couldn't get here fast enough. Of course they did the usual phone conversations and emails, but it was growing increasingly difficult for Rachel to be stuck in Lima while Quinn was pursuing her passion. It made her all the more restless and wanting so badly to move to New York and rid herself of this town that never really appreciated her talent.

What made being apart from Quinn even more difficult was the constant onslaught of celebrity gossip about her and a certain strapping co-star of hers. It made Rachel want to vomit every time she read their two names in the same sentence. She and Quinn had both agreed that, instead of pretending to date Brandon, she and Brandon would simply not confirm nor deny a relationship and just let the press think what they wanted. And boy, did they take that gossip and run with it because, who are we kidding? "No comment" almost always means "yes," doesn't it?

She tried to keep her jealousy from showing when Quinn informed her that Brandon would be in New York while she and Quinn were there, too. The co-stars had to record some commentary together for a behind-the-scenes documentary about the Ten Stories Down sequel. That, coupled with Quinn's shooting schedule in New York for Chaos Theory led Rachel to wonder exactly how much time they would have together. But Quinn assured her that every moment not spent working will be spent with Rachel.

Still, Rachel tried to keep a level head about things. She was mature and patient and understanding. Yet, on the inside, her diva behavior was screaming to get out. She wanted to call Quinn and yell at her every time someone mentioned the blonde dating Brandon. But Rachel knew she was just projecting her insecurity and probably wanted to pick a fight because they were so far apart and it would be easier to miss Quinn if she were mad at her. And she knew that wouldn't be good for anyone, so she channeled her frustration through her singing. It certainly made for a very passionate and first-place winning performance for the glee club at Regionals. She called Quinn with the exciting news right after they were declared the winners and by the time Rachel got home that night, a congratulatory bouquet of flowers was waiting for her from Quinn, who knew that there was no doubt Rachel would bring the glee club their victory.

In the months leading up to her impending spring break, Rachel also learned that she had gotten accepted to NYU, Julliard, and NYADA, which made her upcoming New York trip even more exciting.

Surprisingly, school had been a safe haven for her. It kept her focused and driven instead of being at home and missing Quinn so much she could barely stand it. And when Quinn would text her during class, it always brightened her day. It made her feel special being able to laugh at their inside jokes during a boring lecture. She also found that life at McKinley was getting to be just a little bit easier for her on the social side of things. Being friends with the most popular cheerios certainly helped. Plus, her romantic relationship with Quinn may have been top secret, but it was no secret that she was at least friends with her. Really, she and Brittany were the only ones from McKinley who could say that they have Quinn Fabray's number in their phones. That kind of knowledge helped her to keep her head up high, whereas two years ago, she tried to stay unnoticed in the halls and only made a spectacle of herself when she was performing. As difficult as it has been being apart from Quinn, Rachel could at least say that she hasn't been slushied once during this entire school year. That was definitely a feat and a personal victory for herself.

Still, she wished she could share this victory with Quinn. And the victory of Regionals. And basically every moment, both significant and trivial.

One thing she really hated was the fact that Kurt kept getting on Rachel about the fact that she wasn't dating anyone. He kept telling her she has so much to offer, that any guy would be lucky to date her and that she desperately needed to get laid. There were so many things wrong with all of those statements, but as much as she wanted to, she couldn't correct him. Not yet, anyway. She did appease him by at least considering finding a date to the prom. It was something she dreaded thinking about, but since it's a rite of passage for most teenagers, she didn't want to miss out on dancing and having fun with her friends. So Kurt made it his mission to find her a date.

\--

Rachel bobbed her head along with the music coming from her iPod as she stared at the "fasten seatbelt" sign, waiting for it to light up. Once it lit up, that meant they were starting their descent. And when they started their descent, that meant she would be touching ground in New York and would soon be greeted by the two loves of her life: Quinn Fabray and Broadway. Rachel knew it was no accident that her two loves just happened to rhyme. She may or may not have sung a few made up songs rhyming those words in her lyrics. She looked out the window at the earth below and couldn't contain her excitement for the week that lay ahead of her. In just a few moments, she would be seeing the city that would eventually become her home and she'd be the girl who always made her feel like home. She couldn't wait to feel so safe and comforted. It was a long time coming.

She looked back at the "fasten seatbelt" sign, waiting for it to light up as a Jenny Lewis song came on her iPod. She smiled remembering the moment when Quinn made her listen to every song ever recorded by her and how excited she was to share it with Rachel. Rachel found something really soothing and sweet about her voice and was glad Quinn was opening her eyes to new musical genres and artists, even though showtunes would always be at the top of her list.

She tapped her foot anxiously and all her patience finally paid off when the "fasten seatbelt" sign flashed on. It was time. The plane would be landing very shortly. And Rachel was about to get a glimpse of her future.

\--

"Rachel!"

Gripping the handle of her suitcase in one hand and her purse in the other, Rachel turned to see where the voice was coming from. She knew it was Quinn calling her, but she couldn't see her anywhere. She did a complete three-sixty, but still couldn't find her.

"Rach! Over here!"

The airport terminal was overwhelmingly crowded and she was getting increasingly perturbed at the prospect of not being able to locate her girlfriend.

"Rachel! Hello? Right here!"

The girl walking toward her had Quinn's height, build and face, but the bright red hair was a stark contrast to her normal blonde locks. Rachel's breath caught in her throat when she realized the redhead walking towards her was actually Quinn.

"Hey!" The taller girl gave a very shocked Rachel a hug. "How are you?"

Rachel looked her up and down, very confused at her appearance.

"Quinn?"

Quinn ran a hand through her hair and looked at Rachel sheepishly.

"Oh yeah. I forgot. What do you think?"

Rachel's eyes went wide as she studied her girlfriend more closely.

"You forgot you dyed your hair? Or you forgot to tell me?"

"I guess both. I just did it yesterday. It's for the movie. Halfway though, my character dyes her hair." Quinn's face fell. "You hate it, don't you?"

Rachel emphatically shook her head no.

"Not even a little bit. I mean, obviously I love you as a blonde, but this...I definitely don't hate this." She tucked a few strands of hair behind Quinn's ear. "It's like I have a whole new girlfriend."

Quinn giggled. "You can have a torrid affair with a hot redhead while you're in New York."

"Should I go blonde? Mix things up a bit?"

Quinn grabbed Rachel's suitcase. "Don't you even dare. That would be like messing with the natural order of things. You were born to be a brunette." She began rolling the suitcase toward the exit. "Come on. Let's get you set up at the hotel."

Rachel watched as Quinn hailed a taxi. Her hair shone in the sun as her dress flowed in the wind. She couldn't believe Quinn was wearing a dress when it was still rather cold out. She always did have a tendency to rebel against any weather that was under 75 degrees. Rachel certainly didn't mind. Yeah...she definitely didn't hate this look on her. Even if it was only temporary.

\--

Rachel didn't know what to be more excited about: the fact that she had finally made it to New York City or the fact that she was finally in the same city as Quinn once more. Either way, she was ready to see what the week had in store for her.

Quinn had a prior engagement Rachel's first night there, so she was left in the hotel room to relax, shower and get a good night's sleep. It was hard for them to part after only an hour together, but with how exhausted Rachel was from her flight, they agreed it was best that she got some sleep anyway. Quinn had promised her that the following day would be just for them. She had a special night planned that she refused to give Rachel a hint about no matter how much she kept begging for one.

Late that night, she felt Quinn crawl in to bed next to her. Not a word was spoken between them as Rachel quickly fell back to sleep feeling Quinn's breath on her neck. It was the most natural feeling in the world.

The next morning, after enjoying breakfast provided by room service and a walk in central park, the girls headed back to the hotel to get ready for their big night.

"I don't want you to get your hopes up," said Quinn, as she applied lip gloss in the mirror.

"You could take me to a back alley arm-wrestling match and it would still be the best date ever," assured Rachel as she zipped up her navy blue dress.

"Somehow I doubt that, but I appreciate the sentiment," quipped Quinn. She walked over to help Rachel with her zipper.

Rachel closed her eyes and sighed as Quinn kissed her neck and whispered, "You look beautiful, by the way."

"So do you. I could definitely get used to this look. I love the red." She gently tugged on her hair and pulled her in for a kiss. The moment their tongues met, Rachel was immediately turned on. She had almost forgotten how the slightest touch from Quinn could so easily make her insides coil and melt.

Quinn pulled away far too soon for Rachel's liking. She pulled the taller girl back, refusing to let their lips part again, but Quinn was adamant this time.

"Rachel, if we don't leave now, we're gonna be late."

"So you don't want to kiss me?"

"Sweetie? Do you think there's a chance you might be twisting my words?"

Rachel pursed her lips and thought for a moment. "Maybe..."

"If it were up to me, I would kiss you nonstop for the entire time you're here. But something tells me you want to actually experience some of what New York has to offer. And I want to show you some of that tonight." She kissed her once more. "But trust me, that dress will definitely be coming off later tonight. In a very fun and naughty way. But in the meantime, let's keep it on and hit the town."

Rachel felt her stomach flip at everything her girlfriend just said. New York City, Quinn Fabray and Rachel Berry. It was the perfect combination.

"All right. I'm ready to be wowed and wooed."

"You want me to woo you?"

"I'm a lady. I deserve to be wooed."

Quinn grabbed Rachel's coat from the closet and put it on her.

"Well in that case, m'lady, let's head downstairs where your chariot awaits."

"Ohh, a chariot?"

"Yes. A yellow chariot with four wheels and some surly driver who works on tips."

Rachel threw her arms around her girlfriend. "Okay. Let's go see if you deserve me putting out for you tonight."

Quinn's eyes went wide as Rachel winked at her. She certainly loved the fact that she was always able to find a way to make Quinn Fabray blush.

\--

Rachel was quite impressed with Quinn's planned date. After dining at one of the most popular restaurants in town, complete with many vegan options, Quinn whisked Rachel off to their next destination: The Al Hirschfield Theatre. Rachel stood in awe at the sign above them.

"Kinky Boots! You're taking me to see Kinky Boots?!" She jumped up and down with anticipation and had to stop herself from attacking Quinn's lips with her own.

Quinn chuckled at Rachel's reaction. "Your dads had a hand in it. They told me you were dying to see it live."

"Well, they were one hundred percent correct! Come on, let's go grab a Playbill and see what kind of merchandise they have!" She pulled Quinn by the hand and dragged her through the crowd of people lined up at the entrance. Apparently, time waits for no diva.

After the show, Quinn informed Rachel that she wanted to cap the night by walking back to the hotel so Rachel could get a feel for the nightlife of the city at that never sleeps. They had walked about ten city blocks before Rachel stopped raving about the show and explaining to Quinn the history of The Great White Way. She had referenced her book on the history of Broadway theatres several times during their conversation. Actually, it was more of a monologue than a conversation, but she appreciated that Quinn at least pretended to hang on to her every word.

"Anyway, what did you think of the show," asked Rachel, as she stopped to adjust the button on her coat.

"I liked it. It was a lot of fun. I might have to buy the soundtrack."

"I'll just make you a copy of mine! Actually, now that I think about it, I have two copies. I didn't have the heart to tell Kurt I already had it when he surprised me with it last year." They continued walking side by side, neither girl quite touching, but both wanting to desperately. "I think he'd be a perfect fit for that show."

"Kurt?"

"Yeah. Can't you see him starring in it?"

Quinn thought for a moment. "Actually, yes. I can definitely see that."

They were quiet for a moment as the sound of their footsteps echoed off the building next to them. Rachel was nervous. She knew what she was about to say next might elicit a negative reaction from Quinn. But she had put it off long enough.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"I was thinking of telling him."

"Telling who what?"

Rachel swallowed hard. "Telling Kurt...about us."

Quinn slowed her movements, but didn't stop completely. Her power-walking turned more into a contemplative stroll as Rachel waited for a response.

"Why do you want to tell him?" Her voice was even-keeled - a notion that scared Rachel because she had no idea which end of the spectrum Quinn would fall on when it came to telling one more person about them.

"I think it would be beneficial for me to have someone to talk about it with. Who better than my best gay?"

"I thought Santana was your best gay."

Rachel laughed. "You know what? You're right. I guess she is. But I know she's getting tired of me constantly talking about you. And I know that Kurt would be a little more pleasant to discuss this with."

"I didn't realize you two were so close."

"Well, we didn't used to be. We were always sort of frenemies, but this past year we kind of bonded and grew closer. He's even talking about coming out to New York with me after graduation."

"Really? Did he get into NYADA?"

"No, but he wants to take classes out here. There's a lot of opportunity for him. And with him here and you...I don't know where, it'll be nice to have someone who knows what I'm thinking and how I'm feeling."

This is where Quinn finally stopped and turned to face the brunette. Rachel braced herself for the worst as Quinn shook her head.

"Rach, you have been nothing but supportive and understanding about everything. And absolutely none of it is fair to you. The distance, the time we're apart, the secrecy. You didn't ask for any of it and yet, you're still here. With me. After all this waiting and sneaking around. And even after I suggested pretending I was dating someone else. I'm lucky you didn't gouge my eyes out at the idea of it."

"I would never resort to violence."

"True, but you took it like a champ. You know how paranoid I am. You know that our relationship has to stay hidden. At least for now."

Rachel's shoulders fell as she turned away from Quinn. "Yeah...I know. You constantly make that clear."

"Hey," Quinn's hand rested on her shoulder as she spun Rachel around to face her. "After all you've done to make this work, I can't possibly deny you such a simple request. If you feel you can trust Kurt and you know he won't tell anyone, then of course. I need you to feel okay about us and if that means having just one more person to talk to about it, then I'm all for it."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"Oh thank God. It has seriously been killing me that I've been keeping this from him. Trust me, you're gonna want me to tell him."

"And why's that?"

"Because he's constantly telling me he's worried about me and that I need to start dating someone before my lady parts are shriveled up."

Quinn grimaced.

"His words. Not mine. You have no idea how many times I wanted to tell him that my lady parts were fully functional and constantly enjoying the company of Quinn Fabray."

"So he's worried that you're lonely?"

"He's been threatening to set me up with someone for prom."

Quinn nodded and pursed her lips. "Prom, huh?"

"Yeah. That's another thing I wanted to talk to you about."

"Rach, I can't-"

"I know. I wasn't going to ask that of you. Even though you know I'd love to go with you. I know it would be too much to ask. So in order to silence Kurt, I decided to go with Sam."

"Sam?"

Rachel couldn't tell if Quinn's response was one of surprise or disgust. Perhaps it was both. She didn't feel like being dormant while having this conversation, so she started walking again with Quinn a few steps behind her. They turned a corner as a cop car drove by with a loud siren.

"You're going with Sam?"

"Yeah. We agreed to go as friends. I told him that I'm kind of seeing someone who is unable to attend prom and he said he's trying to get over someone and merely wants a friendly face there with him. It's just two friends doing each other a favor. Obviously he's not my first choice and I'm not his."

"Is this a test?"

"What?"

"Are you testing me? Are you trying to see if I'd give in and offer to take you to your prom?" Quinn's voice dripped with anger.

Rachel stopped and turned around. She couldn't believe what Quinn was suggesting. "No. Do you really think I would do something like that?"

"I recall hearing stories about the infamous Rachel Berry doing anything she could to get what she wanted."

Rachel had to lean on the street lamp next to her for support. Quinn's word cut deeply and she needed a minute for her heart to recover. She looked at Quinn, tears forming behind her eyes. Apparently Quinn's new look also came with some low blows. She watched as her girlfriend's hardened face slowly softened.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said that. I'm so sorry. You know I didn't mean that."

"Then why did you say it," asked Rachel.

Quinn looked past her girlfriend, then looked around. She took Rachel's hand and led her into an alley between apartment buildings. Rachel was backed up against the wall with Quinn still holding her hand, leaning into her.

"Because I'm jealous, okay? I admit it. I'm jealous. Because Sam gets to take you to the prom and show you off and dance with you in front of everyone. And people will think you're together. And I hate it. And I know that's really hypocritical of me given the Brandon situation, but I don't care. Call me a hypocrite."

Rachel lowered her eyes as Quinn leaned in closer and brought her chin back up to lock eyes once more.

"I'm sorry, Rachel. I want you to have fun. Go to your senior prom. Go dress shopping with Kurt. Dance with Sam. Get a limo with Brittany and Santana. Be with your friends. I hate that I can't do those things with you. Just please think of me at least once that night, okay?"

Rachel could see the desperation in her girlfriend's hazel eyes.

"Quinn, do you honestly think I could even go one minute without thinking about you?"

"Yes."

"Okay, maybe I can. But definitely not two minutes."

Quinn smiled and leaned down to capture Rachel's lips. The kiss was soft and sweet and not rushed like some of their other public kisses, which Rachel appreciated.

"Come on. Let's get you back to the hotel. You've got a big day tomorrow."

"So do you," replied Rachel.

They walked back along the main road and passed by a very crowded bar with several people crammed into the patio.

"Hey, Quinn! Quinn!"

The girls turned around to see who was calling her name. They watched as two young men made their way through the crowded patio and jumped over the metal gate, landing in front of them.

"Quinn Fabray."

"Yes. Hi."

"We loooove you." The taller of the guys put his arm around his friend. "Don't we, Dan? We were just talking about how awesome your last movie was."

"Hell yeah. And that lame ass show. My girlfriend made me watch it, but I didn't mind because you were seriously so hot."

They were both very drunk. Rachel could smell the stale beer on their breaths as they leered at Quinn.

"Can we get a picture with you?"

"Not tonight boys. Sorry."

Rachel could tell Quinn was feeling uncomfortable as she dodged Dan's hand.

"What about an autograph?"

Quinn nodded, still looking a little uncomfortable. "Yeah. Yes, that I can do. Do you have a pen?"

"Here," the taller guy reached out his arm. "Sign my arm. I'll get it tattooed."

"Please don't do that," implored Quinn. "Or at least wait until your sober. Then think about it again.

"Here, mine too," said Dan as he thrust his arm out at her. His ogling was very apparent as Quinn signed his arm. "You're so hot."

"You're so drunk," replied Quinn.

"Your friend is hot, too. What's your name?" The taller friend made his way over to Rachel as she tried to avoid his advances.

"Okay boys, that's enough. This is my friend's first time in New York City. We don't want to scare her off, do we," asked Quinn.

"But you're both really hot. Hey, are you really dating that Brandon guy from that movie?"

Before Quinn could even answer, Dan looked down at his arm.

"Dude, she signed my arm. We're twins!" As they high-fived each other and dropped a lot of words like "dude," "bro," and "man," Quinn and Rachel took that opportunity to distance themselves from the boys.

By the time they were a few blocks away from the bar, they felt comfortable enough to walk at a normal pace again, assuming Dan and his friend were too drunk to even remember who they were talking to.

"Sorry about that," said Quinn.

"I'm sure it was completely your fault that those two guys got drunk and acted like asses."

"Yup. I paid them to do it."

When they reached their hotel, Quinn stopped before they entered.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you're going to tell Kurt about us."

"You are?"

Quinn nodded. "I think it's good for you to be honest. You're lucky you can be."

\--

The next day had Quinn shooting scenes while Rachel was touring campuses. They had planned to meet for a late dinner once Quinn wrapped for the day. In the meantime, Rachel spent the day exploring NYADA, meeting with fellow potential students, and observing a few classes. The more she discovered, the more excited she got about the fact that she was accepted. She even participated in a musical theatre workshop where the potential students were asked to perform a song on the spot and the instructors would give notes. Rachel was the fourth to perform and after her rendition of "Someone Like You" from Jekyll and Hyde, the room was speechless. The instructors were whispering to each other and after what felt like an eternity of waiting, they simply said "very good." That was more than Rachel could ever hope for because the rest of the people who performed received copious notes on how to improve and what to do differently the next time. Rachel decided she would mark that moment in the "pro" column for NYADA.

Once she got out of the workshop and the tour was over, she couldn't wait to call Quinn and tell her all about it. Her excitement was short-lived, however, when she turned her phone off silent and noticed twenty-three missed calls and fifteen missed text messages. That couldn't be a good sign.

She scrolled through the texts. They were mostly from Santana, a few from Brittany and one from her dads. She read the last text Santana sent.

"Why aren't you answering your phone, Berry?!"

She scrolled down to the very first text the Latina sent.

"Is everything okay? Just saw the TMZ article."

TMZ article? What was Santana talking about? Rachel's stomach started to churn uncomfortably as she scrolled to Santana's next message.

"Berry, how's Quinn? What's going on? Can you please respond? For Brittany's sake. She's worried..."

Rachel's heart sank. What was TMZ reporting? Did someone find out about them? Was Quinn outted?

She typed in TMZ on her phone and the very first image on the website was a photo of Quinn with the headline "Quinn Fabray Hospitalized After Serious Injury on Set." Rachel felt as though her lungs collapsed. Her throat tightened and her heart raced as she skimmed the article for all the pertinent information. Before she could read anything, beyond the first sentence, her phone started ringing. She jumped at the sound of her ringtone.

"Hello?"

"Berry! Jesus, you are impossible to get a hold of!"

"Santana? I just got out of my NYADA tour. I literally just got your messages."

"Well Brittany was making me call you every three minutes to see if you would answer."

Rachel could feel herself starting to panic. "Santana? What's going on? I didn't get a chance to read the article before you called. Quinn's hurt?"

Rachel was close to hyperventilating.

"Rachel, it's okay. Just keep calm. You need to keep calm, okay?"

Rachel tried to swallow the lump in her throat, but it was too big for her to keep down. She immediately started crying.

"Does it say if she's okay?"

"The most recent update says she's in ICU, but nothing else."

"If she's in ICU, that can't be a good thing," shrieked Rachel, who was having a full-blown panic attack right there on the sidewalk.

"Rachel, please calm down. Here, let me read it to you. 'Quinn Fabray was taken away by ambulance after sustaining injuries while shooting a scene for her upcoming film, Chaos Theory. Fabray reportedly was filming a scene when a piece of scaffolding from the sound stage collapsed on top of her. No word yet on her condition, but sources say her arm was badly injured and she was unconscious when the ambulance arrived. Sources tell us she was taken to Lenox Hill Hospital in Manhattan where she's currently in ICU. Story developing...'"

Rachel hung onto her every word before running over to the curb.

"Santana, I have to go. TAXI!"

"Okay. Just please stay calm and text me or Britt when you know her condition."

"I will. TAXI!" She waved her arm out as a taxi came around the corner.

"And Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"She'll be okay. Just go be with her."

Rachel jumped in the taxi. "Lenox Hill Hospital as fast as you can, please."

\--

When Rachel found her way to the of the hospital, she saw several photographers lined up outside, no doubt trying to catch a glimpse of Quinn or anyone involved in the film. They were all too preoccupied talking to each other and drinking coffee to even pay any attention to Rachel as she made her way past them and walked through the doors.

She frantically walked the halls looking for signs until she finally found the intensive care unit and was immediate met by a nurse behind a desk.

"Can I help you?"

Rachel steadied herself as much as she could. This was not the time to freak out. "Yes, I'm here to see someone. She's in ICU."

"Patient's name?" The woman didn't even look up from the desk.

"Quinn Fabray."

That got the nurse's attention. She looked Rachel up and down and cocked her head skeptically.

"Are you a relative?"

"I'm her g...I'm her friend."

The nurse shook her head. "Family and authorized visitors only."

"But I need to see her. I mean...I know she'll be okay with me seeing her."

The nurse stared at her blankly. "Family and authorized visitors only."

"Ma'am, I promise you, I really do know her. She will want to see me."

"Family and authorized visitors only."

Apparently the nurse was suffering from broken record syndrome. Frustrated, Rachel took out her phone and called Quinn's number. Just like it had in the cab, it went straight to voicemail. She couldn't even leave a message for her because by now, her voicemail was completely full.

She paced back and forth while looking pleadingly at the nurse.

"Miss, you can either leave or take a seat."

Rachel opted for the latter. She hated this. She hated feeling so helpless and out of control. She hated knowing that Quinn was somewhere behind that door and probably in a lot of pain. For all Rachel knew, she could still be unconscious.

"Ma'am, could you at least tell me if she's okay? Is she awake?"

The nurse glared at her. "I'm not at liberty to discuss our patients."

"Just tell me if she's awake. Just nod or shake your head," pleaded Rachel.

"You are really trying my last nerve. I am not going to tell you again. I'm not at liberty to discuss our patients."

Rachel buried her head in her hands and felt the tears coming once more. She shot up and charged at the desk.

"Ma'am, you don't understand. I need to see her. Now!" It came out much more forcefully than she had intended it to, but she didn't care. Or at least she didn't until the nurse began to wave the security guard over.

Rachel slinked back as the guard started to approach her. She was just about to leave when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

"There you are. We've been looking for you everywhere."

Rachel looked to her left to see who was speaking to her.

"Joan, she's with me," he informed the nurse as he took Rachel's hand and led her through the door. The nurse didn't even flinch. She just waved them on.

They took a few steps down the corridor and then stopped as he turned to face her.

"You must be Rachel." He looked her up and down. "You are definitely just as hot as you are in pictures." He stuck his hand out. "I'm Brandon."

Rachel tentatively shook his hand, but didn't say anything. She was a little confused by everything that was happening.

"I had a feeling you would be here. And something tells me Quinn is gonna want you there when she wakes up."

"So she's still unconscious?"

"No. Just napping. She's been in and out of sleep because of the pain meds they have her on."

Rachel pinched the bridge of her nose and closed her eyes. "So she's okay?"

"Well, as okay as you can be being crushed by scaffolding."

"Oh God."

"Look, she's alive and conscious. She's going to be okay. She's just pretty banged up. Her arm is broken, she has some bruised ribs and basically her entire left side is pretty bruised. They set her arm and they're keeping her on pain medication and monitoring her. She's going to be just fine."

Rachel heaved a sigh of relief. At that moment, she wanted to hug Brandon. She was so grateful he came to get her, but at the same time, she resented him for being able to be there for Quinn when Rachel was stuck on the other side of the door. She couldn't help but wonder if there would ever be a time when other people would see her as someone who actually mattered in Quinn's life.

"Do you want to see her?"

Rachel nodded.

"Don't freak out when you see her. It looks worse than it really is. She's got some cuts and welts, but it will all heal just fine. Or at least that's what the doctors are telling us."

"I...is anyone else in there with her?"

He shook his head. "I told everyone that I'd look after her and keep everyone in the loop about her condition. The cast and crew all agreed that she needed rest, not visitors. Her parents were called, though. I think they're flying out here tomorrow."

'Oh great,' thought Rachel. But she pushed that thought aside. Quinn was the only thing that mattered at the moment.

"It's a good thing it was only me in the room when she first woke up. She kept saying your name and asking for you over and over."

He led her over to Quinn's room. "She's in here. I'll hang around out here for a bit and make sure you guys have your privacy. But they tend to come and check on her every half hour or so."

Rachel nodded. "Thank you." It was all she could offer him at this point. She was a wreck and just wanted to get to Quinn.

She cracked open the door and peeked in. She opened it a little wider and found Quinn laying on her back in the bed, her red hair cascading down her shoulders. Brandon was right. The left side of her face was pretty banged up and her eye was swollen. It looked painful, but at the same time, she still looked so beautiful. Her arm was wrapped in a cast and resting on the bed to her side.

Rachel closed the door and Quinn immediately began to stir.

"Rach?" Her voice was hoarse.

"Hi."

"You're here."

"Yeah. It wasn't easy, but I'm here. Brandon snuck me in."

"Remind me to thank him." She tried to adjust her position by sitting up, but winced in pain and immediately gave up.

"Don't try to move."

"I want to hug you," implored Quinn.

"I don't think you can do that with a broken arm."

Rachel stayed close to the door. She was still trying to get her head around what was happening.

"Come here."

Rachel shook her head.

"Why not?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Well that would be impossible. That's what I have this fun little thingy for." She held up a controller. "I just hit this button and I instantly feel better. All the pain goes away." She hit the button and her eyes slowly relaxed until they were only half open. "See? No pain. Right as rain."

"Something tells me you're going to have too much fun with that thing."

"You want some?" She held out the controller to Rachel.

"That's okay. Maybe later."

"I'm so glad you're here. I got hurt."

"I know."

"It was scary. And painful."

"Do you remember what happened?"

"I was in the middle of a short monologue and then I was on the ground and I couldn't move. And then I woke up here." Her speech was starting to slur. "Come here, Rachel."

"Not yet. First I need to know: are you okay?"

Quinn nodded. "Yeah. I'll be fine."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. Nothing a little time can't heal."

"Good." Rachel dropped her purse on the floor and charged at the bed. "You scared the shit out of me! How dare you? I was having a perfectly nice day and then I find out that your job nearly killed you!"

"Why are you yelling?"

"Because I'm terrified!"

"It was an accident. No one knew it would fall."

"I know that! I'm still mad at you! You can't do this to me ever again! Promise me. Promise me I never have to get another call like that!"

"Rach..."

"I was sick to my stomach, Quinn!" Rachel came closer to the bed. "I still am! I hate the thought of you being here while I was out there. I hate not being able to get to you! I hate that no one knows that I should be here next to you!"

"Rachel..."

"I hate-" She couldn't finish whatever she was going to say because the moment she was in arm's length of Quinn, her girlfriend grabbed her and pulled her down. It obviously hurt like hell, but no more so than Rachel was hurting emotionally. The moment her head hit Quinn's shoulder, she lost it. She began sobbing as she crawled into the bed next to her and carefully positioned herself so Quinn could feel as little pain as possible. She was on Quinn's less-injured side, which helped as she sobbed into her shoulder, her tears soaking Quinn's hospital gown. Quinn stroked her hair with her good hand and comforted her as much as she good.

"It's okay, Rachel. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I swear I won't let this happen again. I'll be more careful. I'll make sure the crew is more careful." She continued stroking the brown locks and kissing her forehead every few minutes as Rachel's sobs started to fade away.

Rachel tangled a lock of red hair between her fingers as her sniffling slowly dissipated.

"I love you, Quinn."

"I love you, too."

Rachel continued resting on Quinn's shoulder, watching her girlfriend's chest rise and fall. She closed her eyes and felt herself caught in that moment of being asleep and awake. She was in a state of twilight and it seemed to keep her calm, which was a welcomed change. She sighed heavily and let herself fully relax. She must have been like that for at least twenty minutes before she faintly heard voices talking. She didn't have enough strength to acknowledge them.

"How are you feeling?"

Rachel recognized Brandon's voice.

"I've got a rockin' headache, but my clicky thingy will help that."

"How's she holding up?"

Rachel could feel Quinn's hold on her tighten a bit. "She's okay. She was just worried. And scared."

"You gave all of us a scare."

Some other words were exchanged, but Rachel fell in and out of sleep during that time. She was back in her half asleep state when Quinn kissed her forehead once more.

"Brandon," she whispered. "I don't want to do this anymore. This arrangement we have between you and me, I want it to stop. I know we agreed to let people think what they want, but I'd feel more comfortable if we tell the truth and deny we're together."

"Are you sure?"

"I have to do it. For her." She held Rachel even tighter. "She deserves better than what I'm giving her. And I know it's nothing compared to what I should really be giving her, but at least it's a start. She shouldn't have to see lies like that everywhere. And I should never have been the one to think that was okay."

"Whatever you want, Quinn. I have your back." There was a small pause as Rachel drifted further into sleep, but was still able to faintly hear their conversation. "You two look adorable together, by the way. She obviously really cares about you."

She felt Quinn nod in response. "I'm pretty damn lucky."

"Look, I'm gonna take off. I talked to your nurse and told her you were sleeping, so you have a while before they come to check on you. Call me if you need anything at all, okay? And get some rest."

"I will. Thanks, Brandon."

Rachel heard the door close followed by an audible sigh from Quinn. She could tell the other girl was also starting to succumb to slumber. Rachel couldn't help but appreciate the dramatics of this entire situation and it was rather cute to see Quinn all loopy from the medication. But that didn't change the fact that Rachel knew she never wanted to experience something like this for the rest of her life. She didn't think she her heart could take it. She nuzzled Quinn's shoulder and placed a soft kiss on her neck before falling asleep. Their week in New York took a bit of a detour, but at least they were together.


	26. I'm Not Ready For This Sort of Thing

Quinn spent the rest of the week recovering in the hospital. And Rachel was by her side almost every single minute. Quinn pleaded with her to get out of the hospital and go sight-seeing, but Rachel refused. She said there would be plenty of time for that when she moved here. Quinn knew better than to argue with her about it any further. The only time she was away from Quinn's bedside was when Russell and Judy showed up. Not wanting to start an all-out war between Quinn and her parents while lying helpless in a hospital bed, they both agreed it would be best if Rachel made herself scarce during their brief visits.

Judy spent most of the time fawning over Quinn's swollen appearance and her bruised face.

"Bruises heal, mom. It'll be fine," Quinn kept repeating to her.

"But your beautiful face. Quinn, what about the movie?"

Quinn would have rolled her eyes if her head didn't hurt so bad. "They moved the schedule around and are filming other scenes that I'm not in until I'm fully healed."

"How long until your arm is better," asked Judy as she arranged some of the flowers on the table.

"A couple weeks. It's not a bad break. And the swelling has already gone down a lot. And the bruised used to be a deep red. Now they're black and blue. It won't even be noticeable in a week."

Russell took a seat. "Are you in any pain?"

Quinn nodded weakly. "Yeah. But it's not as bad as it was a few days ago."

Russell nodded. "And they're taking good care of you?"

"Yeah."

"Well, once you're out of here, you're coming back to LA with your father and I until you're better. You need someone to take care of you."

Quinn shook her head. "Mom, I'm fine. Really. Filming will resume in a couple weeks. I'll just be out here a little longer than I originally planned."

"Fine, then you'll stay with us at our hotel until you're better."

"Mom, it's fine. Really."

"This isn't up for discussion, Quinnie." She turned to Russell. "We should get settled in to the hotel. We'll be back to see you tomorrow." She walked over and gently kissed her forehead. "I love you, sweetie."

Russell followed suit. "You take care, honey. See you tomorrow."

The moment they left the room, Quinn exhaled. She's pretty sure that's the first time she breathed since they walked in. All she wanted was for them to leave so Rachel could come back. She texted her girlfriend, letting her know it was okay to come back.

\--

The next day was a difficult one since it was Rachel's last full day in New York. Quinn felt an immense amount of guilt that Rachel had to spend most of her trip in the hospital, but she was grateful to have her by her side. It turns out, Rachel was quite the charmer with the staff. If Quinn was craving something, Rachel would sneak her way into the kitchen and grab it for her, if no one was looking. And if someone did catch her, she simply requested what Quinn wanted and they would make it for her, even if it wasn't on the menu. Rachel made a habit of sleeping next to Quinn in the tiny hospital bed. Then one day, one of the nurses brought in a spare cot and put it next to Quinn's bed. It was a sweet gesture, but both girls still preferred to be smushed together in the bed.

"Does this hurt?" Rachel gently kissed up and down the side of Quinn's face.

"Mmm...feels good."

Rachel lay on her side and nuzzled into Quinn's neck while throwing her arm over her stomach.

"How about this?" She kissed her neck and trailed her lips down to her shoulder.

The movement gave Quinn goosebumps. "Nothing you do could hurt me, Rach. I'm invincible with you next to me."

Rachel giggled. "Okay, I think those are the meds talking. You get cheesy when you're loopy."

"I'll have you know that I haven't needed any pain medication since yesterday." Quinn closed her eyes and indulged in the feeling of Rachel's lips on her skin as her girlfriend's hand sneakily started to make its way up her hospital gown. She was thankful the door was closed, but was still nervous about someone walking in.

"What, exactly, do you think you're doing?"

"Taking advantage of you? It's might last night here. I'd like to get at least a little action," joked Rachel.

Quinn sighed. "I'm sorry this trip was a bust."

"It wasn't. The front end was pretty great and I got to spend time with you. That's really all I wanted."

Rachel's hair was tickling Quinn's chin as she felt her girlfriend's fingers dance around her ribcage, getting close but not really touching anything that matters. Quinn didn't know if she wanted her to continue or stop altogether. She was turned on beyond belief, but frustrated that nothing could really be done about it. She breathed through her arousal.

"Rach?"

"Hmm?"

Rachel's dancing fingers stopped. It made Quinn very sad.

"How have you been doing. You know...with the distance and everything?"

She felt her girlfriend take a deep breath.

"It hasn't been easy. You know that." Quinn felt Rachel's embrace grip harder, like she was afraid to let go. "Sometimes I wonder when or if we'll ever be living in the same city. If you stay in LA, things will only get harder when I move here."

Quinn ran her fingers through soft brown locks. "Have you thought about moving to LA?"

Rachel pushed up off of Quinn and looked at her.

"I've wanted to live in New York since I was five years old. LA is great and I had a lot of fun there, but New York is my future. It always has been," replied Rachel, defensively.

Quinn used her good arm to pull Rachel back down to her, then soothingly rubbed her back.

"I know, Rach. Of course. You're a New York girl through and through. I was just thinking out loud. I'm sorry. It was stupid question. Even if you wanted to move to LA, I wouldn't let you. Your dream is here."

Rachel cuddled up next to her again and all was right in Quinn's world. She watched as Rachel soothed the puncture marks on her arm and hand where previous IV's were placed.

"Would you ever move here?"

"I've thought about it. A lot more recently, actually. I haven't ruled it out." She felt the corners of Rachel's mouth turn up into a smile. She definitely could see herself leaving behind the only home she's known for Rachel. It's not like New York was foreign to her. She just never thought about permanently taking up residence here. Her career is based in Los Angeles. But something about being able to see Rachel every day made her seriously consider the idea.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"Can we just put a pin in it. Talk about it later? I want my last night here with you to be peaceful and drama-free."

Quinn smiled. "Of course. But you know as well as I do that nothing with you is ever drama-free."

\--

Quinn had fallen asleep with Rachel lying next to her. There was something so soothing about dozing off with Rachel's arm around her and her head cuddled in the nook of her shoulder. The last thing she remembered before falling asleep was Rachel gently rubbing her forearm with her nails. She didn't know how much time had passed or what time it was, but the way they fell asleep wasn't quite as peaceful as the way they woke up.

The door to the room slammed shut and jolted Quinn awake. Her eyes were bleary and she looked down at Rachel, who stirred a bit from the noise, but was still sound asleep. Quinn realized it was light out and once her vision cleared, she saw her parents standing before her. The look in her mother's eyes can only be described as rage. Her father was a little harder to read, but she could see his jaw tighten as he folded his arms.

She felt her pulse quicken and her stomach drop. How could they have been so careless? Then again, she didn't expect her parents to return so soon. The only thing Quinn knew is that this was going to get bad before it got better.

Quinn swallowed hard. "Mom," she whispered. "I can explain."

"What did I tell you about this girl, Quinn?" Her mom wasn't as quiet as Quinn was.

"Shhhh. Don't wake her."

"Don't you dare tell me how to react, Quinn! I will not be quiet and I will not stand by and let you go through this again. It's time to grow out of it."

At this, Rachel started to wake up. Quinn looked down to see those brown eyes looking back at her with confusion. She was obviously in a very deep slumber and had no clue what all the commotion was. It wasn't until Rachel saw Quinn's parents that she finally realized what was happening. She quickly jumped out of the bed and backed away toward the wall.

"Rach, it's okay," assured Quinn.

"It is certainly not okay," fumed Judy. "Young lady, you need to leave. Right now."

Rachel looked from Judy to Quinn and back to Judy again, unsure of what to do.

Quinn tried to sit up and Rachel immediate went to help her. "She's not going anywhere, mom."

"Yes she is." Judy walked over and opened the door, gesturing to Rachel. "You need to leave."

Quinn felt dizzy and had to lie back down. She reached out and took Rachel's hand.

"Just wait outside, okay? I need to talk to my parents."

"Are you sure?"

Quinn nodded. "Just please don't go far."

Rachel slowly backed away keeping her eyes cast downward as she walked out the door.

Judy watched her go and turned her attention back to Quinn.

"I told you I didn't want her anywhere near you, Quinn. I told you this in LA." Her voice was cold and stoic.

Quinn lowered her eyes. "She's my friend."

"Oh please, Quinn. Do you think I'm stupid? Am I supposed to think that Kasey was just a friend, too? I put a stop to that and I'm putting a stop to this."

Those words cut Quinn deeply. "You can't!"

"I can't?"

"You can't tell me what to do anymore, mom. I'm eighteen now. I can make my own decisions."

"Do you how this will look? People thinking that you're..."

Quinn looked up at her mom, tears starting to fill her eyes. "That I'm what, mom?"

Judy was silent.

"Say it."

Judy shook her head.

"Say it, mom. Say it!"

"No," replied Judy, defiantly.

Quinn's breath was escaping her. She was trying to breathe, but felt close to hyperventilating. She composed herself before finally getting a grasp on her words.

"Fine. I'll say it. I'm gay." She closed her eyes and swallowed thickly. She was pretty sure all the air had just left the room. It was dead silent, but she continued. "I'm gay and I'm in love with her."

"Quinn, don't." Her dad chose this moment to chime in.

"It's already done, dad. I said it and I can't take it back. I'm gay. Rachel and I have been together for almost a year and a half. It's not a phase. It's not a fluke. And it's not something that you can run from anymore. It's not something that you can move to the middle of nowhere in order to hide it. You have to deal with it now. It's out. It's official. I know you've always known, mom. Don't pretend you didn't know. You just never wanted to accept it."

Quinn was shaking by this point and wished she hadn't sent Rachel away. She needed her.

Judy took a step back and looked her daughter up and down. "Do you have any idea what you're doing? This will ruin you, Quinn."

"The whole world doesn't have to know. But you do. And dad does. It's time to be honest with you. And it's time for you to start accepting it. Besides, she makes me a better person."

"She'll make you a pariah."

Quinn shook her head and painfully chuckled at her mom's words. "Will you stop thinking about my career for one second and think of me as your daughter? I just came out to you. I'm in a hospital bed. I'm in pain, I'm in love, I'm scared and I just need someone on my side. It would be nice if it were my parents."

Quinn was almost certain she saw tears in her mother's eyes. She wasn't sure what kind of tears they were, but it was nice to see her show a human side. Quinn nervously awaited a response from one of them. She knew her dad was a man of few words, but the least he could do was speak up at a time like this. Her mother looked as if she was going to say something, but stopped. Then she straightened her posture and headed toward the door, pulling Russell after her. Before they walked out, Judy tuned to her daughter.

"Don't even think about publicly coming out. Don't tell anyone. Not your agent, not your publicist. Not your co-stars. No one." She gave her daughter one last look of disdain. "And don't ever bring this up to me again. I don't want to know about it. I don't want to hear about it."

She walked out, leaving Russell standing at the door. He looked at his daughter with kinder eyes than her mother. Unfortunately, his words didn't really match it.

"She's disappointed in you. We both are. We thought we raised you better than that." He walked out without another word.

Quinn was left speechless, running through an emotional gamut. She felt hollow and relieved and devastated and proud. The tears she thought were coming seemed to have dissipated. She was too angry to be sad about it. She looked at Rachel with wide eyes as the brunette peeked her head in the door.

"I just saw them leave. Can I come in?"

Quinn nodded, still feeling bewildered.

"Is everything okay? What happened?"

She stared at Rachel with her mouth agape. "I...I just came out to my parents."

Rachel immediately ran to Quinn's side and took her hand. "Oh my God. What did they say? Are you okay? I'm so sorry. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. I should have known better."

"Rachel, stop." Quinn squeezed her hand and pulled her down so she was lying next to her again. "Please stop. It's not your fault. None of this is your fault. I should have talked to them about this a long time ago."

Rachel gave Quinn a chaste kiss on the lips and caressed her cheek. "What happened?"

"I...I told them that I'm gay and that I'm in love with you. And they walked out. All they cared about was how it would look to the world. And they left."

Rachel placed kisses all along her cheek and on her lips. "I'm so sorry, Quinn."

"I'm not. It's two less people I have to hide this from. And I obviously don't have to worry about them telling anyone. I just wish they reacted better."

"They'll come around eventually."

Quinn shook her head. "Somehow I doubt that." She leaned up and kissed Rachel. "But it's okay. I'm glad I told them. I have no regrets." She kissed Rachel once more. "I love you, Rachel. I don't care what my parents say. You're good for me."

Quinn reached up her good hand and ran her fingers through Rachel's hair. She gripped the back of her head and pulled her down into a deep kiss, determined to get her mind off of what just happened. Rachel was all too happy to oblige. The brunette made sure to be as gentle as possible with Quinn.

Their lips melded together as Rachel hovered over her.

"You know...you're kinda sexy in this hospital gown," whispered Rachel.

Quinn laughed, then winced from the pain it caused in her ribs. "I'm sure you've been fantasizing about me in an open-backed hospital gown. It just hugs my curves in all the right places, doesn't it?"

Rachel spoke between kissing her. "Actually, it's the easy access I appreciate the most."

Quinn gasped as Rachel's hand suddenly disappeared under the gown and her fingers grazed between Quinn's legs. Suddenly, her mouth went dry. Rachel moved from her mouth down to her neck as her hand slowly crept up toward her breasts.

Quinn was nearly breathless by this point.

"R...Rachel." She swallowed hard and moved her hand down to stop Rachel's. "W...wait. Please."

Rachel quickly got up off the bed. "Are you okay? Did I hurt you?"

"No. No, I'm fine. I just...I feel kind of...gross. And vulnerable. And scared. And, as we've just learned, anyone can walk in. I just...can you just kiss me? And hold me? Until you have to go."

Rachel smiled sweetly. "Of course."

"I promise I'll make it up to you."

"I don't doubt that," assured Rachel.

Quinn moved over so Rachel could take her usual place next to her. They both laid there, breathing together, talking about random things that had nothing to do with what Quinn had just experienced with her parents.

It wasn't until ten minutes of silence when Quinn heard the question that was inevitably coming.

"When will I see you again?" Rachel's voice was small and slightly smothered from her mouth being against Quinn's neck.

"Soon. I promise. I'll be discharged tomorrow, then I have to make for all the scenes I missed filming. Once that's done, I'll have a better handle on my schedule."

Rachel nodded. Quinn knew she wanted to ask a follow up question, but nothing came.

"I'm proud of you, Quinn. What you did today, it took a lot of guts. I'm sorry it had to happen with no warning. It should have been on your own terms."

Quinn shrugged. "It should have been a long time ago."

"Do you think now that they know, you might...I mean, maybe now the hard part is over. Maybe now you can..."

Quinn shook her head. "Rachel, please don't finish that sentence. I can tell you now that I'm definitely not ready for that to happen. I'm sorry. But you know I can't tell anyone. Not yet. Today was traumatic enough just telling two people who have always been in my life. I can't have millions of strangers knowing, too."

Rachel was quiet. Quinn knew that meant she was upset but too polite to say anything.

"Quinn?"

"Yeah?"

"I have to go now."

"Rachel, please don't be upset. I just took a huge step forward today. Can't that be enough?"

Rachel smiled at her and kissed her. "I meant I have to go to the airport. My flight leaves in two hours."

Quinn immediately felt stupid for being so defensive. "Oh. Okay. I'm sorry I can't take you there to see you off."

"I'm sorry I can't stay here and take you back to the hotel when you're discharged."

"Thank you for being here. I really don't think I could have gotten through all this without you."

They leaned in to capture each other's lips once more. "I'll call you when I land."

"And I'll call you when they let me out of here tomorrow."

Rachel made no movement to leave. And Quinn made no effort to nudge her in the direction of the door. They were too preoccupied enjoying cuddling in the bed.

"I really do have to go."

"I know."

Rachel finally got up and gave Quinn a final kiss goodbye.

"Get better. And please take it easy. Don't be stubborn. If you need more time before you go back to filming, then take it."

"Yes, ma'am." Quinn saluted her girlfriend.

"And call me if you need to talk. I'm sorry your parents were jerks about it."

"It wasn't really a surprise. Just a disappointment."

Rachel flashed her a sweet smile before walking out the door.

"I love you," Quinn quietly called after her. There was a good chance she didn't hear it, but Quinn wanted to put it out there anyway.

\--

Quinn was beyond ecstatic to finally be rid of her hospital gown and back in her regular clothes. She wasn't too happy about the fact that the hospital insisted on her being pushed to the exit in a wheelchair, which was hospital policy.

"That's good here, thanks." She stopped just before the exit when she recognized a familiar face waiting for her there. "Lance?"

"Ms. Fabray." He nodded his head.

"What are you doing here?"

"When I heard what happened to you, I called your manager and arranged with the production company to come out here and take you wherever you need to go for the duration of your stay in New York. I don't want to leave you with some hack in a black sedan who doesn't know how to handle the paparazzi."

Quinn was touched. She really didn't know what to say.

"Speaking of which, every exit is lined with photographers. This one has the fewest, but there's still quite a bit out there. Are you ready to face the bombardment?"

Quinn nodded and got up from the wheelchair. She grabbed her sunglasses and put them on as Lance grabbed her bag and offered his arm for her to lean on. Her other arm was still in a cast, but she had gained a lot more mobility in it over the last week.

"The car is right out there," Lance pointed at the black, tinted SUV parked at the curb, about ten feet from the exit. She braced herself for a very challenging ten steps.

As soon as Lance opened the door for her, she was instantly blinded by the flashes going off in her face and could barely hear herself think over all the questions being thrown at her.

"Quinn! How are you feeling?"

"Quinn, is it true you're planning on suing the production company and the studio for negligence?"

"Quinn! Why did Brandon leave you here by yourself? Are you two broken up?"

"Quinn! When you resume filming?"

The crowd was closing in on her. Someone's camera had knocked into her casted arm and she felt the sting as she grabbed it in pain.

"Please, keep clear," ordered Lance, as he sheltered her from the crowd. "You need to back away and let us through." His voice was forceful and commanding. As hectic as everything was, Quinn felt safe enough with him here.

The shutters clicking, the blinding lights, the onslaught of questions...it was all starting to give Quinn a panic attack. She actually started to miss her peaceful hospital bed.

"Quinn, you look great. Are you feeling any better?"

She recognized the voice as a reporter who had always been very respectful to her, so she stopped briefly to speak to him. She figured she could at least offer him a sound bite since she didn't consider him to be as much of a vulture as the rest of them.

"Yes, I'm feeling much better, thank you. "

And with that, Lance opened the door for her and once she was in the car, everything faded away. There was always this moment of peace whenever she went from people surrounding her to finally getting in the car. It was one of her favorite moments and Lance was almost always there to experience with her.

He jumped into the driver seat, adjusted the rear view mirror and caught her eye.

"Are you okay?"

Quinn nodded. "Thank you. I can't tell you how much this means to me."

"I'm happy to help, as always. Where to?"

"The Ritz."

Quinn leaned her head back and wondered how Rachel was doing. She couldn't wait to get back to her hotel to call her. But right now, she needed to sleep. She had a meeting with the producers tomorrow about her health update and with traffic at this time, she knew it would be a long enough trip to get in a little nap.


	27. Spend My Days Locked In a Haze

"Rachel, can you help me zip this up? I can't reach it." Brittany contorted her arms behind her back.

The dressing room of the department store they were in was large enough to accommodate Rachel, Brittany, Mercedes, Tina and Santana, with two smaller, individual rooms hidden by curtains. Mirrors adorned every wall, so they could see what the dresses looked like from every angle.

"It zips on the side, Brittany." Rachel pointed to the proper location of the zipper. "See? But here, I'll zip it for you anyway."

Santana came out from behind one of the curtains in the shared dressing room. "Berry, stop molesting my girlfriend."

"I'm not! I'm just-"

"Yeah, I don't care. You have to learn when I'm joking. In other news...how insanely hot do I look in this dress?" She ran her hands down the sparkling crimson dress.

Brittany grinned. "You look amazing. I would totally do you."

"Britt!"

Rachel loved how Brittany was still the only person that could embarrass Santana.

"What?" Brittany wrapped her arms around Santana's waist, then gestured with her head to Rachel, Mercedes and Tina. "They all know. It's not like it's a big secret anymore. And I'm pretty sure they don't think we just hold hands or link pinkies or kiss."

"Yeah, Santana. Give us a little more credit," said Tina, as she admired her dress in the mirror.

"But don't take that as permission to talk about it all the time. I really don't need a visual," warned Mercedes.

Rachel giggled as she heard her phone beep. She swiped it to find a picture message from Quinn. She was a bit perplexed and slightly disappointed when she found that it was a picture of her arm. She wrote her back.

"Gee, just what I wanted. A picture of your naked arm."

She pulled the next dress she wanted to try on from the hanger as her phone beeped again.

"Notice anything different?"

Rachel thought for a moment before finally having a moment of clarity.

"You got your cast off!"

"Yup! Fully healed and completely functional."

"That's great!"

"What are you up to right now?"

"Trying on prom dresses with the girls."

"Oooh! Send me a picture of the dress you get!"

"If I decide on one today, I will."

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Make sure Sam treats you like a princess. And don't let him try anything with you."

Rachel sighed as she held her dress in one hand and the phone in the other. She began to type.

"Actually, Sam's going with Mercedes. It just seemed more natural for them to go together. Santana and Brittany offered to be my dates, so I'm taking them up on that. Besides, they're way hotter than Sam."

It was a long few minutes before Quinn's next text. Rachel took this opportunity to slip the dress on. Then, her phone finally beeped.

"Are you trying to make me jealous? Because it's working."

Rachel had a feeling this might be her reaction.

"You said you didn't like the idea of me going with Sam."

"That doesn't mean I like the idea of you going with anyone else! Especially two hot, very sexually charged girls."

Rachel was getting frustrated. And she could tell Quinn was, too. Maybe if she were here in person, they could talk it out, but there really wasn't much they could do over text. She shook her head and typed.

"I can't win with you."

She looked at herself in the mirror and tried to decide whether or not she liked the shape of the dress on her. Quinn responded before she could make a final decision.

"Look, I don't want to argue. Just send me the picture of you in the dress...and then maybe one of you without the dress?"

She was trying to lighten the mood. And Rachel was grateful for that. She decided to give Quinn a break.

"I'll send you one of my bare arm."

"I'll take it."

"Ugh! Maybe I should just make my own dress. I don't really love any of the ones I've tried on," said Tina.

"You should! I'm sure whatever you design would definitely show off your personality," assured Mercedes.

"Everything okay, Rachel?" Tina was back in her regular clothes by this point.

"Yeah. I just...I don't know if I love any of these, either. Maybe we should try another store."

"Well, I got mine. And Brittany got hers. So if you'll excuse us, we're gonna hit up the food court while you ladies keep looking." Santana proudly put her arm around Brittany.

"But we can't let Rachel get a dress without us," whined Brittany. "She needs us. Otherwise she'll get something with an animal knitted on it, or something."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Brittany, I like to think my tastes have evolved over the years. I'll be just fine."

Brittany looked skeptical. "Nope. No deal. You will get a dress only with our approval."

Rachel sighed. She was too hungry to argue any further. "Fine. We'll eat and then keep looking."

\--

As annoyed as Rachel was at the prospect of having Brittany and Santana having to approve her prom night look, she was actually quite happy that she allowed it because, as rare as it was, she could actually say she looked pretty damn hot. Brittany insisted on doing her hair while Santana did her makeup. They all agreed on a long, sleek lavender dress that Rachel had found a few days after their initial shopping trip. When both Cheerios' jaws simultaneously dropped when she emerged from the dressing room, she knew it was definitely the right dress.

She had texted Quinn a photo of herself all made up before she left for a pre-prom dinner at Breadstix with the rest of the glee crowd, but hadn't heard a response. She was a little disappointed, but she knew that Quinn was likely working in some capacity. And she wasn't going to let how much she missed her ruin her night. That was something she had been focusing on lately. Keeping herself constantly busy while Quinn was away was starting to become second nature to her. And prom night was no exception. She was going to look good, eat some bad Italian food, and dance with her friends. It was going to be great. Quinn who?

After filling up on endless breadsticks, the prom was now well under way. The gym was filled with students yelling and dancing and singing along to the songs being played. For once, Rachel was kind of relieved they didn't have to perform at the prom. This time, she was going to be in the moment and experience the dance instead of being on stage and watching everyone else dance. Besides, she wanted to save her voice for Nationals, which was just a week away.

Santana and Brittany took turns whispering to each other and texting. Rachel knew by now not to question the things they did. It would make her head hurt.

Brittany put away her phone and grabbed Rachel's hand, leading her out to the dance floor as Santana looked on. The Latina shifted her focus from her phone to her girlfriend and Rachel. Already feeling inferior to her dance moves, Rachel let Brittany lead as Katy Perry's "ET" blared over the sound system. The tall blonde seductively danced around her, then on her, then moved her way around behind Rachel and held their bodies together as they swayed to the beat of the song.

Needless to say, Rachel was a little uncomfortable, but also a little turned on. She kept looking over at Santana whose jaw was clenched, but she wasn't making a move to stop her girlfriend. She just kept looking down at her phone.

"Relax," whispered Brittany. "It's just a dance."

Rachel shivered at the words, then started to feel a little more at ease once she realized Santana wasn't about to tackle her. And Brittany was right. It was just a dance.

Once the song ended and Pitbull and Ne-Yo's "Give Me Everything" came on, Santana ditched her phone and ran out to join them on the dance floor.

Rachel was suddenly sandwiched in between the two of them. It wasn't long before some people around them started to stare, but Rachel decided she didn't care. She was almost out of this place. So what if she gave people something to gossip about? Brittany and Santana's relationship was common knowledge among the whole school by this point, so it's not like this was anything new.

Rachel let go, closed her eyes and moved with the rhythm. Their bodies all seemed to move in unison with each other. She could feel Brittany's breath hot on her neck as Santana pressed her thigh between Rachel's legs. That was enough to prompt a gasp from Rachel who was surprised Santana was being so bold. It wasn't until she smelled the alcohol on her breath that Rachel realized why Santana was being so forward. She and Brittany disappeared for a few minutes at the restaurant. It must have been to take a couple shots of whatever was currently on her breath. Rachel welcomed Santana's new found boldness.

She felt Brittany's hips dig into her from behind as her hands moved up and down her waist. Santana remained in front of her, grinding against Rachel with calculated ease. Rachel was getting warm. Sweat was sticking to her dress and she began to feel a little dizzy. She started wondering if maybe she was enjoying this a little too much and couldn't help but feel a little guilty. Once the song died down and a new one came on, she casually excused herself to get something to drink, leaving Santana and Brittany to finish whatever it was they started. They didn't seem to mind their trio turning into a duo. Rachel wondered if they had even noticed.

The music pounded and she watched her friends dance the night away as she stood next to the refreshments table. Tina and Mike were completely lost in each other while Blaine and Kurt broke out into a synchronized, choreographed dance from time to time. Sam and Mercedes nodded to her as she waved to them.

She took a sip of punch and lamented for a moment as Ellie Goulding's "Lights" filled the room. This was it. Her senior prom. And while she was having fun, she couldn't help but think of Quinn and wished that she could have just once dance with her. Standing amongst the balloons and cheap crate paper as the fog machine set off its timed fog, she suddenly felt very lonely. Watching everyone dance, she felt like a wallflower - like that girl she used to be freshman year. It was an unsettling feeling.

The feeling was short lived when she felt a tap on her shoulder. She turned around and accidentally dropped her cup to the floor when she was greeted by Quinn, dressed to kill in a long, off-the shoulder, indigo-colored dress, no doubt made by Dior or Vera Wang. Her hair was blonde again, swept up in a glamorous style with curls hanging down. She was the very definition of stunning.

"Quinn...what are you-"

Quinn brought her finger up to her mouth as if to silence her.

"You really didn't think I would miss this, did you?"

Rachel was grinning ear to ear until she came to a horrifying realization.

"Wait a minute...did you just-"

"Witness that charming display of a Sapphic-themed threesome? Yes. But I'm assuming Santana set that up for my...benefit."

"Why would she set that up unless..." Suddenly, it all made sense. Why Brittany and Santana were on their phones for a lot of the night, why they were whispering, why Santana made a show of their dancing. "They knew you were coming."

Quinn nodded. "They helped me time out my arrival. I think Santana just wanted to cause a little drama for old time's sake."

"It makes sense now why she didn't stop Brittany from dancing with me."

Quinn arched her eyebrow. "I should be jealous. But I'll look past it because I know it was harmless and I know it should have been me out there dancing with you."

Quinn took her hand and led her toward the exit.

"Where are we going," implored Rachel.

"It's your prom night. We're gonna fucking dance. Any way we can."

They walked out the main entrance and around the corner to the back of the gym where there wasn't a soul in sight.

"I know this isn't ideal, but at least it's more intimate this way."

Rachel smiled. "I can't believe your here."

Quinn bit her lower lip and looked down as she nervously fumbled with what was in her hand.

"I notice you're not wearing a corsage." She looked up at Rachel. "May I?"

Rachel nodded and held out her hand. Once Quinn secured it around her wrist, she kept a hold of Rachel's hand.

"Rachel, will you dance with me?"

"God yes! That's all I've been thinking about all night."

They could hear the music blasting from the gym as the song conveniently changed to "Stay" by Rihanna. Rachel couldn't help but think how fitting the song was as she move in closer to Quinn and they began to sway to the music.

"You look beautiful tonight," whispered Quinn. "Flying out here just to see you in this dress was totally worth it."

Rachel blushed and sheepishly looked down at Quinn's dress. "Well, it's not much compared to...Dior?"

"Valentino. But you outshine me and every other girl in that gym. My eyes went straight to you when I walked in."

"That's because I had two girls grinding on me."

"That may have been a contributing factor. But still, you're insanely hot."

Rachel moved in closer and rested her head on Quinn's shoulder.

"You're blonde again."

"Yeah. After filming wrapped, the red started to fade really quickly, so I thought I'd help it along. Do you miss the red?"

"I missed YOU. Red, blonde or bald."

"So if I had to shave my head for a role?"

"I'd hold the clippers."

"Somehow I doubt that, but I don't think we'll ever be in a position to prove if you're telling the truth."

They were silent for a while after that, just enjoying the song and the privacy and the feeling of being in each other's arms once more. Rachel realized she had yet to even kiss Quinn. She looked around to make sure no one was in sight and pressed her lips to Quinn's. They released with a simultaneous sigh.

"So, are you enjoying your prom?"

"It was good before. Now it's infinitely better." Rachel almost forgot how safe Quinn always made her feel. She hated that she only got to feel this after weeks or months without seeing her. It seemed unfair. Why couldn't she have that constant feeling of contentment like Brittany and Santana had?

Quinn pulled back and gave her a mischievous look.

"You wanna go create our very own high school cliche?"

"Meaning?"

"Sex after prom night." Quinn reached out to graze the strap of Rachel's dress.

The brunette almost couldn't contain herself at her girlfriend's suggestion.

"Yes. Yes I do."

\--

Rachel barely had time to think, or even breathe. Quinn was assaulting every inch of her mouth and tongue and Rachel wasn't about to stop her any time soon. She didn't even know how they made it from the gym to this dark bedroom. It must have been some spell Quinn had cast to transport them here so quickly. She vaguely remembers a car ride, but that car ride mainly consisted of hands touching really fun things. And then there was a door opening. Then there were stairs they had to tread up. And now they were here, contending with the dark, trying to feel around for the bed while refusing to break away from each other.

Rachel remembered just enough to know that this was Quinn's house. Or at least it was while she was living in Lima, but judging by covered furniture downstairs and the empty halls, she's pretty sure no one has occupied this place since the Fabrays left.

Quinn finally pulled away as she slowly walked Rachel backwards until her legs felt the bed. Quinn sat her down and then felt around for the clutch she had dropped when they came in. She dug around inside the clutch and pulled out a lighter. One by one, she began to light the many candles that were set up all along the floor around them.

Rachel watched as Quinn's face slowly became more and more visible with each new candle lit.

"I see you came prepared."

"I'm always prepared. I'm an actress."

"There's no electricity?"

"It's been shut off since we left," replied Quinn as she lit another candle.

Rachel reached down and caught some hot wax dripping from one of the candles. She enjoyed feeling the hot, silky wax cool between her fingers.

"There's no one else living here?"

Quinn shook her head. "My parents leased this place for two years. They were under contract. They tried to get an early lease termination, but the owner wouldn't let them. So technically, this place is still mine."

"And the bed is conveniently still here."

"What can I say? Maybe I was thinking ahead."

"Or maybe you have no need for a bed in LA since you're living out of hotel rooms."

Quinn lit the last candle. "That could also be the reason."

Rachel watched her stand up and walk to the foot of the bed. She leaned down and gently kissed her. Rachel immediately felt a twitch between her legs. She was suddenly very aware of where she was, who she was with and what was about to happen. The one thing Rachel didn't mind about their distance and time apart was that every time they had sex, it always felt like the first time.

The room was dimly lit and felt warmer with the candles burning. Or maybe it was Rachel's quickening pulse that was making her feel so hot. Or maybe it was the way Quinn was looking at her, like there was nothing more she wanted in this world than to take Rachel Berry right now and claim her as her own. Rachel certainly wouldn't have any complaint about that.

Quinn pulled Rachel up, turned her around and held her from behind. She moved her hands upward and slowly began unzipping Rachel's dress, letting it fall into a pile on the floor. Once the air hit her skin, Rachel felt cold and hot at the same time. She closed her eyes as Quinn kissed the back of her neck. She felt her girlfriend maneuvering behind her and could only assume she was taking off her own dress. When she felt Quinn's bare breasts against her back, she jolted forward and gasped.

She turned around to face the blonde as her eyes trained over every part of her naked body.

"Wow. I will never get tired of this sight."

Quinn chuckled nervously. "I hope not."

She bit her lip and it nearly drove Rachel to the brink of insanity. How could one little facial movement bring so much lust out of her?

"Never," assured Rachel as she kissed Quinn.

When they pulled apart, Quinn breathed deeply as her hands began to tremble.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

She leaned in and whispered huskily, "She me how much you missed me."

Rachel could have sworn her heart stopped beating then and there. The tone of her voice, her begging words, it was all too much. She grabbed Quinn and threw her onto the bed. The headboard clanged against the wall. She crawled her way up Quinn's body, stopping to kiss her favorite spots here and there until she was straddling the blonde's waist. She reached behind her and pulled off her bra, giving Quinn a front row show to her perfect breasts. She moaned when Quinn immediately sat up and latched onto one, swirling her tongue around Rachel's sensitive nipple.

"Fuck," cried Rachel. She gripped Quinn's hair and pulled her closer, needing to feel more of her hot breath against her skin. Her wet tongue darted out once more, sending Rachel into a tailspin. She needed to gain control quickly if she was going to rise to Quinn's challenge of showing her just how much she missed her.

She lowered Quinn back down and grazed her hand along her abdomen, making its way up between the valley of her breasts, then brought two fingers up to her lips.

"Suck," commanded Rachel.

Quinn's eyes went wide and she immediately obliged. Rachel loved the sensation of Quinn's mouth around her fingers. It was intoxicating. She positioned herself between Quinn's legs, causing her hips to collide with Quinn's core. Her girlfriend immediately jolted at the contact. Rachel smiled to herself. Perhaps Quinn's obvious need for release should be prolonged just a bit longer.

She pushed herself up off of Quinn and straddled her at the waist.

"Rachel..."

"Shhh." Rachel's hand disappeared into her white lace panties. Once her fingers, wet with Quinn's saliva, made contact with her own clit, she closed her eyes and tried to suppress a moan.

"Rachel...wh...what are you doing?"

She could hear the desperation in Quinn's voice and began to grind down on her. That movement elicited a gasp from the blonde. She didn't speak another word after that. She just breathed heavily and gasped every time Rachel would grind down against her. Rachel opened her eyes to see Quinn watching her hand, her lips parted, her eyes trained on what Rachel was doing to herself. Unfortunately for Quinn, Rachel's underwear was in the way.

"Let me see what you're doing," pleaded Quinn.

Rachel shook her head, panting. "Can't stop now." She moved seductively against her fingers as her other hand grabbed at her own breast, taking her nipple in between two fingers.

"You want to know how much I missed you," asked Rachel.

Quinn nodded, licking her lips.

"Every time I was in bed thinking about you, wishing you were next to me, wishing you were under me or on top of me, wishing you were inside me...just thinking about all that would drive me crazy. And the only way I could find peace, the only way I could fall asleep was if I touched myself while thinking of you. And your body. And the way your ha...hair would tickle my skin. And your li...lips on mine. And..." Rachel's breathing became erratic. It was hard for her to continue speaking coherently. "I would pretend it...it was you touching me and I...I would make m...myself..." Her fingers moved faster and harder over her clit. Seeing Quinn look at her with such wonderment was more than enough to push her over the edge. She stopped talking. All she could do was moan and move her hips and breathe.

Her mouth was dry as she tried to moisten her lips with her tongue. She pulled her hand out of her underwear, then removed them altogether. They were pretty much ruined by that point, anyway.

She hovered over Quinn once more and trailed her hand down between her girlfriend's thighs. She leaned in and dipped her tongue into her ear. Quinn squirmed beneath her.

"And that, Quinn, is how much I missed you."

Before Quinn could respond, Rachel plunged her fingers inside of Quinn, filling her all the way to her knuckles. Both girls groaned and Quinn sunk her teeth into Rachel's shoulder.

"Ungh," Quinn grunted, biting down even harder as Rachel fluidly moved her hips, pushing her fingers in and out of Quinn with every thrust.

Rachel hissed as the sting on her skin from Quinn's teeth, but continued with her mission. Quinn's legs were wrapped around her waist, bringing them even closer together. Rachel could feel her hand aching, but didn't care. All that mattered was getting Quinn to keep making those erotic noises.

Their breasts were aligned, erect nipples rubbing against each other with every push. It was turning Rachel on all over again. She could feel Quinn's walls clenching against her fingers. She was close. The look on her face said it all. Rachel sped up her pace while crawling down Quinn's glistening, perfect body until her face was aligned with the apex of her thighs. Even in the candle light, she could see exactly what she had stirred up within Quinn. And she wanted to taste it.

"Rachel? Where are...OH MY GOD!" Quinn threw her head back and arched her back as Rachel ran her tongue along her very swollen clit, while still pumping her fingers into her.

"Jesus...FUCK! Oh God...Rach...God...Rach...FUCK! Oh God, that's perfect. So perfect. So perfect...please don't stop." Quinn gripped the sheets next to her as Rachel continued to devour her.

Every breathless word from Quinn turned Rachel on even more. She was dripping by this point, aching for her own release yet again. But she couldn't think about that now. Not while she was knuckle deep in Quinn with her mouth around her clit, sucking it gently and making the girl writhe.

"Fuck, baby. I can feel you everywhere. You're everywhere. I'm...you're...God...I can't..."

Rachel knew the less articulate Quinn became, the closer she was to coming. So she took this moment to add another finger while flicking her tongue roughly against her. That was all it took. Quinn came instantly. Rachel could feel her start to shake. She braced herself and placed her free hand on Quinn's abdomen to hold her in place because, sure enough, she arched her back even higher and began to gyrate her hips against Rachel's face. But Rachel held on and continued to bring her to an even higher level of ecstasy. Soon, Quinn was screaming Rachel's name and moaning so loudly, Rachel was pretty sure the neighbors could hear.

Rachel pulled her fingers and mouth away and looked up at her girlfriend. Once Quinn was lucid enough to remember where she was and what had just happened, Rachel found herself being pulled toward her.

"You need to come here. Right now," demanded Quinn.

She pulled Rachel by the back of her thighs, past her waist, past her chest, up to her face. Rachel swallowed thickly at the thought of what she thought was about to happen. She locked eyes with Quinn for a brief moment and, sure enough, Quinn scooted her way down until Rachel was fully straddling her face.

She felt extremely vulnerable right now. She was on display and, as much as she trusted Quinn, she still felt terrified of what was about to happen. It was new. It was different. It was...

"Ohhhhhhh!" Rachel was caught off guard the moment Quinn's tongue delved into her. She felt her legs go weak and grabbed onto the headboard for support. "Fuck, Quinn!"

She found herself grinding down into Quinn's tongue, desperate for more friction. What she was feeling was something far more than far more than lust, more than desire. It was almost otherworldly. Quinn's tongue pushing up inside her as she clenched with every passing stroke. She couldn't stop groaning. Soon it got to the point where it felt too good not to scream. She remembered she could be as loud as she wanted. No one was around. There were no parents downstairs. No paparazzi hiding outside. No one but the two of them. So she gripped the headboard even harder and let her voice express exactly what her body was feeling.

"Your mouth f...feels incredible."

Quinn responded with a simple hum, which caused Rachel to jerk and squeeze her thighs even tighter against Quinn's head. She was worried she might be crushing her brain by this point, but was feeling way too good to care.

She could feel it coming. She continued to ride Quinn's face as her stomach began to coil. And when Quinn hit that one spot that always made her completely fall apart, Rachel closed her eyes and began to freefall. Her thighs felt like they were on fire, but that pain only added to the pleasure. Quinn's tongue kept lapping at her as Rachel came undone on top of her. She didn't let up for a single moment. The more Rachel came, the more Quinn put her tongue to work. It was glorious. Rachel could barely tell when she went from one orgasm to another. They came in waves, each stronger than the next.

By the time her last orgasm came to an end, Rachel was a quivering mess. She was hoarse and sore and pretty sure her palms were now embedded into the headboard. She couldn't move her legs, even though they felt weak enough to collapse from under her.

When she finally felt stable enough to move, she slinked back down into the bed next to Quinn, who immediately grabbed a bottle of water and handed it to her.

"Here. You're probably dehydrated."

Rachel nodded wordlessly and took a drink.

"That was so hot." Quinn beamed, looking quite proud of herself.

Again, Rachel nodded as she took another drink.

"Wow. Now I know what to do the next time I want you to stop talking."

Rachel smiled and covered her face with her hands.

Quinn tried to pull her hands away.

"Hey, don't be embarrassed. It was super hot. God, sex with you is just mind-blowing. Every single time."

Quinn curled up next to Rachel and finally coaxed her to remove her hands from her face so she could hold Quinn. A good old fashioned cuddle was long overdue.

\--

They spent the next few hours in bed talking and catching up on everything that's been going on in their respective lives. Quinn told Rachel about some new projects she might have in the works. Rachel told Quinn about their preparation for Nationals. Quinn told Rachel about different premieres and parties she attended. Rachel told Quinn about what classes she signed up for at NYADA. Quinn told Rachel about how her parents still aren't speaking to her except to remind her of what a mistake she was making. Rachel comforted her as best she could.

"They'll come around eventually."

Quinn shook her head. "Even if they do, I think I want anything to do with them. I know they always think they're trying to do the right thing for me, but they don't know how wrong it is."

"Maybe you should talk to them. Like have a real, honest face-to-face conversation. Put everything out in the open."

Quinn thought for a moment, then buried her head in the crook of Rachel's neck.

"Let's not talk about that right now. Next subject, please?"

Rachel interlocked her hand with Quinn's.

"Okay. We don't have to talk about it. I'm just glad you're here."

"Mmm...me too," Quinn purred.

Rachel prepared herself for the very loaded question she was about to ask.

"So, how long do you think you'll stay this time?"

Quinn shrugged. "I haven't really thought that far ahead."

"You never do, I guess." The moment the words escaped her mouth, Rachel regretted it.

Quinn pulled away from Rachel and stared at her.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing. It's nothing."

"No. You said it. You obviously want to talk about it. So tell me."

Rachel sat up with her back against the headboard. It was cold and hard against her back, so she moved a pillow behind her back to make it more comfortable.

"Look, I'm glad you're here. I always love it when you're here. Especially when you surprise me. And you're always so great with the big, grand gestures. Flying in to surprise me, the trip to LA, the trip to New York. You're a grand gesture kind of girl and I love that about you."

"Okay..." Quinn was trying to follow along.

"But in the meantime, our relationship is always based on when we can see each other again. And when we do, it's always a huge event with smiles and laughing and dancing and mind-altering sex."

Quinn blushed at the comment.

"The thing is, you're never around long enough for us to experience all the little thing that relationships have to offer. Something as simple as waking up together and not having to worry about how long we have until we have to part. Or going to a movie without having to worry about the paparazzi following us. And fighting over who ate the last of the popcorn. Or holding my hand. Every time you take my hand, my heart always flutters. Especially when you do it out in the open. I want to do a morning crossword puzzle with you in bed without you jumping up saying you have a flight to catch or have a meeting to get to." Rachel lowered her head. "I know that may sound selfish, but I feel like those little things are such an important part to a relationship."

Quinn exhaled deeply and pinched the bridge of her nose.

"You're not wrong. And you're not being selfish. I am. I'm always the selfish one."

"That's not what I was saying, Quinn."

"No, it's fine. I am selfish. The thing is, I want to give you those things. You deserve it."

Rachel traced her finger along the fabric of the sheets.

"I just wish we could be out together as a couple. I know that's not an option, but sometimes I wonder if it's always gonna be like this. And if we can't be out, then I at least want us to be living in the same city together. I just want there to be a light at the end of the tunnel. Otherwise, what are we doing? What will we be doing a month from now? Two months? Six months? Are we just gonna survive off of seeing each other twice a year and hope it's enough?"

"These are very valid questions. And to be honest, I don't know what the future holds. But I do know that I want you in mine."

Rachel smiled. "I want you in mine, too."

Quinn sighed. "That's good to know." She turned to face Rachel. "Look, I'm really sorry I have to do this."

Rachel lowered her head. "You're leaving?"

"No. I'm sorry because I have to present you with another big gesture. But don't worry. I promise this grand gesture will lead to the little things that you want in the relationship. I want them, too. Rachel, look at me."

She looks at Quinn with hope in her eyes.

"I've signed on to another project. It's an HBO miniseries about the New York City club scene in the late seventies and early eighties. You know, sex, drugs and Studio 54."

"Sounds gritty."

Quinn nodded. "It is. It's a great script. It's an ensemble production. A lot of really talented people are in it."

"Wow, so what do they want with you," joked Rachel.

"Hey! That was a bit harsh. You're feisty after come ten times in a row."

"It wasn't ten times."

"Fine. Eight times. Whatever."

"Why didn't you tell me about it?"

"I wanted to tell you in person."

"How long is filming?"

"Six months."

Rachel's eyes lowered again. "Six months..."

"And it's completely filmed in New York City."

Rachel felt her heart jump as she looked at her girlfriend, praying she heard that right.

"What?"

"It's being filmed in New York City. Filming starts in August."

"You're going to be in New York when I'm there?"

"Yes, I am. I already rented an apartment. It's a really nice place. Spacious. Two bedrooms. Centrally located in Manhattan. This realtor got me a good deal on it. I move in on July 1st."

Rachel was elated. She couldn't control her excitement and jumped on top of Quinn, straddling her again.

"Quinn, that's amazing!" She grabbed both of Quinn's hands with her own and interlocked their fingers.

"I still have some things I need to do in LA, so I'll have to make a few short trips out there. A premiere for the Ten Stories Down sequel. A junket for Chaos Theory is scheduled sometime in the late summer. But other than that...it looks like I'm going to be a New Yorker."

Rachel leaned down and planted kisses all over Quinn's face and mouth.

"I take it you approve of the move?"

"Whole-heartedly."

"Good. There's just one more thing."

"What's that?"

Quinn squeezed Rachel's hands as she looked up at her.

"Will you move in with me?"


	28. A Kiss, A Cry, Our Rights, Our Wrongs

Three months later...

Quinn had no idea how she managed to do it, but she somehow burned the toast again. This was her third attempt and she was quickly running out of bread. She ran to the stove to stir the oatmeal that was boiling. By this point, it was soggy and runny and not nearly good enough for the palate of such a vocal talent. She turned off the stove and stacked the black pieces of toast onto a plate. It was far from the perfect meal she was going for, but at least it was made with love.

She noticed a figure in the doorway of their bedroom. Quinn was pretty certain she would never tire of seeing Rachel after just waking up. She was adorable. Her hair was a mess, her hand was rubbing her eyes and her t-shirt was barely covering her underwear - an image that would definitely stay with Quinn for the rest of the day.

Rachel's bare feet scooted across the hardwood floor and she greeted Quinn with a kiss.

"Good morning. What is all this?" Rachel looked down at the table.

"I...uh...I wanted to make you breakfast for your first day at NYADA."

Rachel smiled as she surveyed Quinn's work. "That is so sweet."

Rachel sat down and looked at the plate in front of her. Quinn stared intently, trying to gauge her reaction. Based on the way Rachel was putting off actually eating any of it, Quinn opted for plan b. She grabbed the paper bag off the counter and put it in front of Rachel.

"Yeah, just in case this happened, I ran out real quick and got some bagels."

Rachel closed her eyes. "Oh thank GOD! Quinn, you know I love you, but cooking isn't really your strong suit. I love that you tried, though. It's very sweet."

Quinn smirked as she took the toast and oatmeal off the table and threw it in the trash.

"I also grabbed you some fresh fruit and almonds." Quinn was still trying to understand exactly what vegans can and can't eat. And she was thankful that Rachel didn't object to Quinn's carnivorous diet.

"This is perfect. Just what I needed for today. Thank you, babe."

It made Quinn happy how at ease Rachel was with her.

The prospect of living together was scary for Quinn, but it was turning out to be great. Quinn no longer had those moments of panic wondering where Rachel was or what she was doing or if she was going to get sick of always waiting for her. It was nice to finally feel relaxed about their relationship. She loved waking up with her, falling asleep next to her and everything in between. The move to New York made her professional life a little more difficult having to Skype in for meetings with her agent and manager or having a conference call with her publicist. And she had to find a new makeup artist and stylist out here. There was also the growing concern about people seeing them come and go together from the same place every day, but for all everyone else knew, they could just be roommates. After all, New York is an expensive place to live. Even for someone who makes a decent amount of money.

But for every single concern or inconvenience there was about moving to New York, there were a hundred little moments with Rachel that made it all worth it and made Quinn know that she made the right choice by moving here.

Filming for the miniseries was going well. The hours were grueling, but she was only needed four days a week, so her days off were spent in complete contentment with Rachel.

During Quinn's last trip to Lima, she stayed around for a couple weeks. She watched the New Directions win Nationals and beamed with pride as she watched her girlfriend hold up the trophy in triumph. She watched Rachel and all her other former glee club cohorts graduate. She sat down with Rachel and her dads and had a long talk with them about the future of their relationship and what moving in together would mean and how difficult it might be. Quinn knew all that and, while she was quite terrified of Hiram and Leroy's reaction to the news that she would be shacking up with their daughter, she was willing to wade through the shit storm that that the Berry men created trying to dissuade them from this decision. She didn't budge and neither did Rachel. After a lot of discussion and a bit of yelling, they all came to an understanding and Rachel's dads gladly gave their blessing.

Quinn then flew back to LA and officially made the move to New York in July. Rachel joined her two weeks later and they had a pretty memorable New York summer together. Santana and Brittany finally made the move to New York just a week ago after working odd jobs in Lima to save up some money. They managed to find a studio apartment that barely even fit their bed, but they both seemed incredibly happy just being able to be together and have a roof over their heads. Quinn found that to be pretty adorable, which she didn't think was possible since it involved Santana.

Rachel was a little upset that Kurt didn't move out there with them. He wanted to wait out the year in Lima and move out here next year with Blaine. Quinn was glad Rachel had some semblance of her Lima life with her in New York. It was a summer of many changes and it's important to have people you know and trust there as a support system. Quinn had Rachel. And from time to time, Brandon had some random acting gigs here, so they meet up for lunch when he's in town.

Quinn tried not to think about her parents. She had sent her mom an email saying that she was moving to New York while filming her new project and that it was best for her because she needed a change. Her mom replied with, "I guess there's no point in trying to convince you to stay. Keep in touch and we'll do the same."

To be honest, it was more than Quinn thought she would get.

\--

Rachel's first month at NYADA took up a large amount of her time. There wasn't a day where she wasn't rehearsing or singing or dancing or going over choreography in the living room. Quinn enjoyed watching her practice from the kitchen table as she pretended to go over the notes on her script. It was pretty common for a night of Rachel practicing steps to end with Quinn lunging at her and taking her on the floor of their living room. It was like Rachel knew exactly which moves would get Quinn all riled up.

Quinn's miniseries was deep into the filming schedule by this point. They lived the life of two creatives, constantly working on their craft while also trying to maintain a functioning relationship. With the exception of a few fights about Quinn's inability to wash a dish and Rachel's need for always choosing a musical when it was her turn to pick on movie night, they were doing surprisingly well. Quinn was almost afraid that falling into a routine would become dull and boring, but she actually found it quite soothing. And they weren't really in that much of a "routine" with the schedules they kept, anyway.

Work was exhausting for Quinn. Her role was pretty intense and called for some serious preparation and execution. She was usually exhausted by the time she came home. Rachel's schedule was becoming even more hectic than Quinn's.

\--

Two months in to Rachel's semester and almost three months in to Quinn's filming, they both decided they needed some fun and a little stress relief. Quinn suggested a night out for some drinks and dancing. There was a new club that was supposedly "all the rage" for the young Hollywood elite that resided in New York. Rachel was concerned about the fact that they were underage, but Quinn assured her that she could get them in anywhere. It was a luxury she used to abuse, but hasn't set foot in a club in quite a long time, so she didn't feel too bad for using her fame just this once.

Rachel invited Santana and Brittany, who were thrilled to experience more of New York's night life.

After getting all dressed up and a twenty minute cab ride, they arrived at Brash, the hot nightclub of the moment which would most likely be turned into a Soul Cycle or Starbucks within a month. New clubs never really lasted too long, but tonight, they were going to take advantage of its current popularity.

Quinn had arranged for them to be escorted through the back entrance by security, avoiding the paparazzi that were permanently camped out in front of the club.

Quinn and the girls followed the security guard down a long corridor and through a couple doors until the music got progressively louder. They finally made their way into the club and were immediately taken to one of the VIP sections reserved for Quinn.

"Damn, blondie. You really hooked us up. Nice!" Santana was obviously very impressed.

"We've got bottle service all night. It's on me. You guys enjoy," Quinn yelled over the loud music.

Santana didn't need to be told twice. She grabbed the bottle of Grey Goose on the table and started pouring shots and handing them out.

"Ladies! Here's to us taking New York by storm," remarked Santana. "And here's to my insanely hot girlfriend who looks ridiculously gorgeous in that dress."

Brittany blushed and gave Santana a kiss on the cheek before they down their shots. Santana poured two more and this time Brittany made a toast.

"And here's to Quinn for letting us tag along tonight."

Santana rolled her eyes, but drank to it anyway.

"Thanks, Brittany." Quinn looked over at Rachel, who's shot glass was still full. "You're not drinking."

"I don't want to get too drunk tonight. I still have some homework I have to do tomorrow."

"Come on, Berry. One shot," urged Santana.

"I'll do one if you do one," offered Quinn. She hadn't really had a drink in quite a while, but she wanted Rachel to feel comfortable and have some fun tonight.

Rachel relented and took the shot. The look on her face showed that she obviously wasn't too fond of the taste.

Quinn laughed and poured her some cranberry juice. "Here. Chase it with this."

Rachel drank it and nodded in thanks. "Much better. But no more drinks for me."

"Fair enough," agreed Quinn. "Same here." She finally took the shot that Santana handed to her before chasing it with some of Rachel's cranberry juice.

Santana downed her third shot with Brittany before taking her hand. "I don't know about you losers, but Britt and I are gonna go dance."

"We'll join you in a bit," informed Quinn. As they made their way to the dance floor, Quinn and Rachel sat down next to each other. Quinn tried not to notice the way Rachel's dressed hiked up when she crossed her legs. She pretty much zeroed in on the sight and, for a moment, forgot where they were.

"So they really don't care that we're all underage," asked Rachel.

Quinn shrugged. "Not really. They have liquor license laws, but sadly I think a lot of money is paid under the table to look the other way when celebrities are involved. It's all about image. If they keep us happy, we keep coming back. And so do the people who read about it on the blogs or in magazines."

Rachel nodded, eyeing the bottle of vodka. Then, it occurred to Quinn.

"Have you never had alcohol before?"

"Sure I have. I had a couple of wine coolers at a glee club party, once."

"You rebel."

"Shut up! It was cool," argued Rachel. "But I guess you could say I've never technically been drunk."

"Well, we'll try to keep it that way. I think your dads would kill me if I turned their daughter into a lush."

Quinn looked over towards the dance floor to see Brittany and Santana doing some moves that she was pretty sure wouldn't really be considered dancing. She found herself hoping the girls wouldn't get them kicked out.

"Do you want to dance," asked Rachel.

Quinn was waiting for this question. Did she want to dance? Yes, she did. Did she want to dance with Rachel? Yes, she did. Did she want to dance with Rachel in public with all these people watching? Yes, she did. But could she? The was an entirely different question. She must have taken too long to answer because Rachel was already up and leaned down to whisper to her.

"I promise I'll keep my hands off. At least until we get home."

And with that, she headed over to where Brittany and Santana were making their scene. Quinn was left with her pulse racing at Rachel's words, watching her perfectly formed ass walking away from her. And where that ass went, Quinn must follow. So she did.

The pulsating music was loud, almost to the point of obnoxious. And it was hard to find a beat to really move to, so Quinn understood why Santana and Brittany were basically just grinding on each other. What else was there to do? Eventually, they started playing songs she was actually familiar with that they could all dance to. Song after song, Quinn started getting more comfortable and less worried about what everyone around them was thinking or doing. No one seemed to care that she was there. No one was taking pictures. She was just another face in the crowd and it started to feel kind of good. She even pulled Rachel closer to her a few times. It was impossible to be dancing next to her incredibly lithe girlfriend without making at least some physical contact.

After about thirty solid minutes of dancing, she was hot, sweaty and ready for a break, so she and Rachel made their way back to the VIP table.

"I'm having a great time," yelled Rachel. "I think we really needed to just blow off some steam!"

Quinn grinned. "I know another way we can do that later."

They shared a smile as one of the servers brought a drink over and gave it to Quinn.

"Oh, I didn't order this," said Quinn, pushing the drink away.

"Yeah, I know. It's from a girl across the way in another VIP section. Over there." The server pointed and Quinn looked over to see who was over there. Her blood froze and she was pretty sure her heart stopped beating the moment she recognized the girl the server was pointing at. Of all the douchey clubs in all the cities in all the world, Kasey Tipton had to walk into this one. She watched as her former paramour held up her martini glass as if she were toasting and winked at Quinn.

Quinn wanted to refuse the drink. Actually, she wanted to bring the drink over across the way and throw it in Kasey's face, but that would cause a scene. And refusing it could somehow make it seem like the former co-stars were feuding. She didn't need another mindless scandal following her around.

"Thank you." She put the drink down and stared at it for a moment, unable to look at Rachel.

"What is it?" Rachel placed her hand on Quinn's knee. "Quinn?"

Quinn shook her head. "What is she even doing here?"

"Who?"

Quinn looked up at her girlfriend. "Kasey. She's here. This drink was from her."

Rachel looked down at the drink and then looked over to where Kasey was. She was still looking back at them with a smug look on her face. Quinn wanted to slap it off of her, but apparently, Rachel had something else in mind. Before she even realized what was happening, Quinn watched her girlfriend take the raspberry martini and drink the entire thing in ten seconds flat. Afterwards, she slammed the glass down on the table and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand.

"That was good. I should tell her thanks," remarked Rachel.

Quinn was shocked. And slightly turned on at seeing Rachel's badass reaction.

"Wow. That was hot. Are you okay? You drank that pretty quickly."

Rachel shrugged. "I'm fine. I barely feel it."

"I'm so sorry about this, Rach. I don't even know why she's here."

"Well, it looks like you'll have your chance to ask her because she's coming over here."

Quinn's palms began to feel sweaty as she watched Kasey maneuver her way through the crowd and head toward their table. At this moment, she almost wished Santana were here right now. Maybe her venom would paralyze Kasey and they could make a run for it.

"Well, Quinn Fabray. Fancy meeting you here."

Quinn already wanted to bitch slap her. But she was a lady, dammit. Ladies don't bitch slap.

"Hi Kasey." Her tone was even. She wasn't going to give this girl anything.

"Aren't you going to get your security guard to clear me? I'd like to give you a proper hug."

Quinn looked at the security guard who was presiding over that area of VIP sections and gave him a nod. He allowed Kasey to walk past.

On instinct, Quinn grabbed Rachel's hand and squeezed, reminding her that everything was going to be all right. Or was she trying to get Rachel to assure her of that? Either way, Rachel's hand felt like an anchor holding her in place. It was exactly what she needed right now.

Quinn remained stiff as Kasey went to hug her.

"It's been too long," said Kasey. "Congratulations on everything you've been doing."

"What are you doing here, Kasey?"

"I just came to say hi."

"No, I mean here. In New York."

"Oh, the show is relocating here for its final season."

"Final season?"

"Yeah, you didn't hear? We got the ax. This is our last season and it's been truncated to twelve episodes." The ratings went down after you left the show and have been rapidly declining since. I guess now we know who the real star was."

There was no malice in her voice. It was more reverence than anything.

Kasey turned to Rachel.

"So...you must be Quinn's new...friend. I'm Kasey."

Rachel took her hand. "I've heard a lot about you."

"Why does that not surprise me?"

They continued shaking hands while staring each other down and sizing each other up. Quinn found herself in the middle of an awkward sandwich. It needed to end. Now.

"Well, you said your hellos. Thanks for the drink."

Kasey didn't move. "Actually, I think it was Polly Pocket over here who actually drank it. I'm impressed. I didn't think she had it in her." She turned to Rachel. "Feeling a bit buzzed?"

Rachel didn't falter. She took a step closer to Kasey as if to challenge her. "I'm just getting started."

Kasey smirked. "Splendid. Now that's what I like to hear." They finally let go of each other's hand and Kasey poured three shots. "Here's to...old friends." She looked at Quinn and then at Rachel. "And new ones."

She immediately downed the entire shot.

Rachel, never one for being upstaged, took her shot and then took Quinn's from her hand and drank that one, too.

"Rachel, you might want to pace yourself," urged Quinn.

Kasey rolled her eyes. "Oh Quinn, don't be such a buzzkill." She put her arm around Rachel's shoulder and Quinn was seething at the sight. "She's just getting started, remember?"

Quinn raged. She pulled Rachel back toward her and away from Kasey's grasp, holding her girlfriend tightly around her waist. Mine.

Kasey sat down and made herself comfortable, pouring three more shots. Quinn and Rachel tentatively did the same.

"So, how does this work, exactly," asked Kasey.. "You two parade around as buddies until the lights go out?"

Quinn clenched her fists until she felt a calming hand on her thigh.

Kasey continued. "My girl Quinn goes out, makes the big bucks, becomes more and more famous while you stay home waiting with dinner on the table?"

"Kasey, that's enough," Quinn warned.

"I'm just trying to be real here, Q. There's no way this girl isn't using you for your fame. She's from some no-name, podunk town. What can she possibly know about what it's like to be us?" She pushed the shots of Grey Goose over to them.

Rachel accepted her challenge and took another shot. Quinn noticed her girlfriend was turning a little red. She couldn't tell if it was alcohol or anger. Either way, Quinn opted to leave her drink alone. Someone here was going to have to remain sober for this.

"I know all about what Quinn goes through," answered Rachel. Her words were starting to slur a bit. "I know how hard she works and how much is asked of her."

Kasey wasn't backing down. "Seriously though, you guys are really cute together. But let me ask you, Short Stuff, how many people know about your little arrangement with Quinn, hmm? Last I checked, people seemed to believe she was dating Brandon Asher."

Rachel cast her eyes downward before grabbing the bottle and taking a swig from it.

"So? We know the truth and that's all that matters," defended Rachel as she put the bottle back down.

Kasey nodded. "How sweet. Well, you're just a regular Pollyanna, aren't you?"

Quinn protectively took Rachel's hand. She'd had enough of this.

"You need to leave now."

"Sure, in just a second. First, let me ask you one more question, Rachel. How does it feel knowing that Quinn was willing to come out for me and tell the whole world about our relationship, yet she chooses to stay so deeply hidden in the closet with you?"

That's when Quinn saw red. She stood up to physically remove Kasey from their section, but before she could even reach her, a hand reached out and smacked Kasey right across the face. It was loud enough to be heard over the music and forceful enough to almost knock her over. Quinn looked at Rachel, assuming she was on the giving end of the slap, but she was seated and her hands were on her lap.

She looked up to see a very agitated and very angry Latina rubbing the palm of her hand from the force of the slap.

Kasey held her cheek and winced in pain while looking up at Santana.

"What the hell was that for?"

Santana shrugged. "You're in my seat."

"Who are you?"

"Me? I'm someone you don't want to fuck with. Now get out of my seat." She leaned down closer to Kasey. "Oh, and if you ever speak to either of my friends like that again, you're gonna find out exactly what Lima Heights Adjacent means."

Kasey stood up. "What are you talking about? Do you even know who I am?"

"Sure I do, but I don't give a shit. Now get out of here before Auntie Snix comes to town."

"I'm not leaving."

Quinn knew things were going to start spiraling out of control very soon if she didn't act fast.

Santana took a threatening step towards Kasey. "Listen, Chlamydia Jane-"

"Santana, stop. It's okay. I mean, thank you, but I think this is something she and I need to work out on our own," explained Quinn.

Santana put her hands up and backed away just as Brittany came up behind her, sweaty from all the dancing she had been doing.

"What's going on?"

"Nothing," replied Quinn. "Kasey and I are just going to have a little talk."

Brittany nodded and reached out her hand. "Hi, I'm Brittany S. Pierce. I love your show."

Before they could shake hands, Santana deflected it and pulled Brittany with her to sit next to Rachel.

"You go, Fabray. We'll watch Berry for you," offered Santana.

Quinn leaned down and whispered to her girlfriend.

"I'm so sorry about this. I'm going to fix it. She'll never bother you again. I won't let her."

Rachel looked at her with sad eyes and nodded.

"I love you, baby. I honestly don't know what I ever saw in her. Especially now."

Rachel nodded once more and have her hand a squeeze, assuring her that she was okay.

Quinn and Kasey headed into the VIP bathroom. It was much cleaner and a lot more spacious than the other club bathroom. Plus, it smelled a lot nicer. This was definitely a luxury Quinn was grateful for.

She closed the door and checked to make sure no one else was there.

"You want to tell me what that was all about?" Quinn folded her arms and leaned against the wall.

Kasey sighed. "I just hate how we ended things."

Quinn scoffed. "You ended things. You made it very clear how little I meant to you."

"I was young, Quinn. We all do stupid shit when we're young."

"Don't I know it," agreed Quinn, hoping her words would sting a little.

"Do you really want to just forget what we had?"

"I already have," stated Quinn.

"Look, I'm sorry. I know, I need to be nice to Rachel. I get it. And I get what you see in her. She's hot. I mean, her legs are just...damn. But you and I - we have a connection."

"We did. And it's gone now. Along with any feelings I ever had for you."

"You don't mean that."

"I do. I honestly have no room for you in my life. I'm happy. I'm the happiest I've ever been. And I know you're on some emotional quest for closure, so fine. I'll give it to you." Quinn took a step closer. "I forgive you. What we had was fun and it was exciting and emotional. But it pales in comparison to what I have with Rachel. What you and I had was young love. First love. It'll always be a part of me and a part of you. You hurt me and it took some time, but I got over it. So there's our closure."

Kasey lowered her head. "Wow. That was...very blunt."

"You left me no choice. You had no right to talk to Rachel like that. And you obviously have some serious emotional issues to sort through."

Kasey started to say something but was interrupted by the bathroom door opening. Brittany and Santana were on either side of Rachel, holding her up as she stumbled into the bathroom.

"Someone has to break the seal," informed Santana.

"I can walk fine on my own," insisted Rachel.

"Yeah, you proved that when you tripped over your own foot trying to stand up," quipped Santana.

Quinn went to help hold her girlfriend up.

"Hi Quinn." Rachel gave her a goofy smile.

"Hi, baby."

"Are we gonna make out in the bathroom? Because there's too many people here for that." She turned to the other three girls. "Can you guys leave?"

Brittany turned to go as Santana pulled her back while trying to stifle her laughter.

"Rachel, we can't make out right now. Here, let's splash some water on your face."

"But you're so pretty," whined Rachel. She was pouting now. "And you make me feel really good."

Santana couldn't hide her laughter anymore.

"I should probably warn you, Quinn. She pounded a few more shots while you guys were in here."

Quinn closed her eyes and sighed. "You said you would watch her."

"We did. We watched her pound more shots. It was awesome."

Rachel snuck her way out of Quinn's grasp and staggered over to Kasey.

"You." Her finger was right in Kasey's face. "What are you still doing here? I don't like you."

"Rachel, honey, come here," begged Quinn. Tonight was definitely not going the way she planned. She looked helplessly to Brittany. "Can you go get her some water?"

"Sure, come on San."

"But this is getting good."

"You know I can't go to the bar by myself. I'll end up dancing on it."

"Ugh...fine. Let's go," Santana relented.

Rachel continued her verbal assault on Kasey. "You're rude and obnoxious and I don't like you."

"Yes, you've already made that very clear," replied Kasey.

"Well then you need to back off. Quinn doesn't need your negativity around her. Or your face."

She covered Kasey's face with the palm of her hand and pushed her lightly.

"What's the matter? Jealous that she was mine first?" Kasey wasn't backing down.

Rachel turned around, slammed Quinn against the wall and began to kiss her passionately, albeit a little clumsily due to the alcohol. But Quinn certainly had no complaints. She could taste the vodka on her breath and craved more when Rachel pulled away to say just one more thing to Kasey.

"She's not a piece of property. Bitch."

With that, she turned around and kissed Quinn one more time. Quinn was completely stunned and slightly turned on at the way Rachel was claiming her. She actually wouldn't mind being Rachel's property if it meant kissing her like that.

They continued their frenzied make out session until Rachel pulled away informing her in a rather endearing way that she had to use the bathroom. It was then when Quinn realized that Kasey had left. As much as she wanted to be badass enough to send Kasey running away, she was thankful her girlfriend possessed the unique quality to do so. It was a feat even Santana couldn't accomplish.

Brittany and Santana took a cab back to their apartment after thanking Quinn for a memorable night. Quinn was left to pour her girlfriend into the backseat of a cab. It was rather difficult seeing as how "Drunk Rachel" also meant a very handsy Rachel. They were barely in the cab when Rachel tried to straddle her.

"Whoa...okay, save it for when we get home." She was hoping the cab driver was used to these kinds of things happening and therefore wouldn't pay any attention.

Rachel sat back down in her seat and sulked for a bit. But it wasn't long before she crawled back over to Quinn and started to massage her thigh and whisper in her ear.

"Baby, when I get you home, I'm gonna make you feel so good."

Rachel was succeeding quite well at turning Quinn on.

"Oh yeah," whispered Quinn.

Rachel nodded. "Yeah. You look so hot tonight. I'm gonna rip your dress off with my teeth."

Quinn was squirming with every promise Rachel was making.

"I'm gonna put you through the wall tonight," slurred Rachel. "And I'm gonna make you scream my name."

Quinn was eternally grateful when they finally reached their apartment. She paid the cab driver and quickly guided Rachel up to their apartment. She was so turned on by this point, excited to finally be home and do all the things Rachel said they were going to do. She guided Rachel to toward the bed as the brunette already began undressing. Quinn's excitement was reaching a fever pitch as Rachel ineptly shrugged off her dress and stumbled to the bed.

"I'll be right back, Rach. I'm just gonna grab us some water."

Quinn hurried to the kitchen to grab a couple bottles of water. By the time she returned, she found Rachel on the bed in her black lace bra and matching underwear. Quinn leaned against the doorway and stared. She was breathtaking. She was beautiful. She was the sexiest thing Quinn had ever seen. And she was...snoring.

Rachel lay face down on the bed, snoring very lightly with each breath. Quinn had no idea how she managed to fall asleep in the forty five seconds she was in the kitchen, but leave it to Rachel to perform miracles.

As disappointed as she was, she couldn't help but laugh at how adorable Rachel looked. She pulled the covers up over her sleeping girlfriend and got into bed next to her, holding her until she fell asleep, too.


	29. I Don't Care What They're Going To Say

Quinn's miniseries had gone over budget and over schedule. But since most of her scenes for the final part were already shot, her schedule wasn't as crazy as it had previously been. Rachel enjoyed having that extra time to spend with Quinn. One of her favorite things to do was cuddle on the couch as she studied for class while Quinn read scripts or looked over her notes for whatever scene she was filming the following day. Every so often, they would lose interest in what they were studying and end up making out.

When they weren't couch-cuddling, they were watching movies, or playing board games, going to dinner, going for walks, or hanging out with Santana and Brittany. Things were going well. Rachel was happy. There was always the dark cloud lingering of where Quinn would be going after the project was finished. Rachel wanted to just enjoy the fact that the six-month schedule had been extended, but the thoughts of Quinn taking job filmed in South America or Europe or even Wyoming plagued her.

The events of the night at Brash were rarely spoken about except when Quinn liked to tease Rachel about falling asleep the moment her head hit the pillow, leaving Quinn quite unsatisfied. But Rachel more than made up for it in the weeks since.

Part of her wanted to talk to Quinn about the Kasey situation, but she knew it was hard enough for Quinn to see her ex and be thrown into that whirlwind of emotions so unexpectedly. As much as she wanted to dissect everything that happened and discuss it for fifteen hours straight, she had a feeling Quinn wouldn't be so enthusiastic about it. It was starting to get a little difficult for Rachel having to walk on eggshells around her girlfriend. She had no idea someone so talented and beautiful could be so sensitive.

She figured it was best to focus on the end of the semester at NYADA, which ended up paying off because she aced all of her classes. Quinn surprised her with a celebratory dinner and tickets to see Wicked.

After the show, they opted to walk back to their apartment. It was cold, but it was the most mild weather they've had in weeks, so they wanted to take advantage of it.

"I don't want you to get too excited, or anything," said Rachel, as she watched her breath release a white fog into the air. "But they're holding open auditions for an off-Broadway musical version of Frozen."

"Wow. They really wasted no time with that, did they?" quipped Quinn.

"I guess not. I mean, it's a rather small production. The theater seats maybe three hundred people. But I think I'm going to audition."

"Um...you think? If you don't audition, I'll drag you there kicking and screaming if I have to," threatened Quinn.

"So you think I should try it? You don't think it sounds cheesy?"

"Of course it's cheesy. I think you're destined for far better than off-Broadway, but in the meantime, until the rest of the world realizes how talented you are, this is the perfect jumping off point for you. Plus, you've got a semester at NYADA under your belt. Do you know how many students don't even make it that far?"

"Sadly, yes. My classes started getting smaller and smaller as the weeks went on."

"My point is, you've got talent, you've got training, you've got me supporting you every step of the way and you have more drive and determination than anyone I've ever met."

Rachel blushed as she looped her arm through Quinn's. This move used to make Quinn flinch if they were in public. But she's gotten used to it, especially at night when there was less of a chance of anyone seeing.

"Besides," continued Quinn, "You already sing Let It Go every single day until my ears bleed, so you may as well do it on stage in front of a bigger audience."

"What makes you so sure I'm auditioning for Elsa?"

"You're too badass to be Anna. And you own that song. I mean, that song is your bitch."

Rachel laughed. "Okay, okay. Then I'll audition for Elsa."

"Excellent. And when you get the part, we'll get some ice cream and wine and have a sing along with the movie," suggested Quinn, who was practically skipping by this point. Rachel was trying to keep up with her.

"You're making an awfully big assumption that I'll be getting the part."

"Oh please. Don't pretend you don't think you're going to get it."

"Okay, so there's a chance I might get it, but let's not get crazy."

"How long is the run?"

"Rehearsals start in January and the show premieres in March and runs for six weeks."

As they arrived at their apartment building, Quinn grabbed the door for Rachel before the doorman could even register that they were there.

"After you, my Ice Queen." Quinn then ran in front of Rachel and crouched down a bit. "Hop on. Your noble steed shall deliver you safely to your castle!"

"Quinn, what are you doing?" Rachel looked around, feeling her face turn red.

"I'm being chivalrous. Don't question it. Just hop on!"

Rachel threw herself onto Quinn's back and held on as Quinn carried her all the way to the elevator, up to their apartment and through the front door. She was quite impressed with her stamina as she let go and fell to the couch with an out-of-breath Quinn soon laying on top of her. Rachel was quite impressed with her stamina and was certainly ready to see just how much energy Quinn had left as they started a very heated makeout session on the couch.

\--

Just as Quinn had predicted, Rachel got the part. And just as Rachel had imagined, her first foray into New York musical theatre was thrilling. Granted, she still didn't know how she felt about starring in a Disney-based musical. She was eager to attack deeper, grittier roles where she could really showcase her talent. But the fact that she was getting paid (rather pitifully, but paid nonetheless) to sing on a New York stage more than made up for it.

After spending their first Christmas in New York together, which included a visit from Rachel's dads, and celebrating the New Year at the bar where Santana worked, Rachel started rehearsals just as Quinn was wrapping up filming.

Today was Quinn's last day of filming. Rachel's rehearsal had just ended. She was hot and sweaty and exhausted from the dance routines, but eager to see how Quinn's last day went. She clicked on the picture that Quinn had texted her. It was a picture of Quinn in her costume - a slinky, silk tank top, a tight miniskirt and six-inch stilettos. The picture was from the chest down, but it was enough to make Rachel squirm even without seeing her girlfriend's face. The text read, "Think I should keep my costume?"

Rachel smirked and seriously contemplated finding a bathroom or a very secluded area of the theatre so she could get some release.

But before she could go anywhere, her co-star who plays her sister snuck up behind her.

"Damn, who's the hot girl?"

Rachel jumped and turned to face her. Ashley Fenton had a lot in common with Rachel, which is why they seemed to get along fairly well. They both had a passion for musical theatre, they're both from small towns, and they can both turn into colossal divas once in a certain mindset.

"Oh, she's...a friend of mine."

"Please," scoffed Ashley. "A friend is sending you a picture like that? Nice try."

Rachel sighed and realized that you really couldn't see Quinn's face in the picture at all.

"Actually, it's my girlfriend." Her stomach dropped briefly as the words came out of her mouth. She didn't know why she was being so honest, but there was something about Ashley that made her feel comfortable. Like somehow, she would understand.

Ashley didn't react the way Rachel feared she would. She didn't step back in awe or even show the slightest bit of shock on her face. She simply looked her up and down and gave a little grin.

"Is she back in Ohio?"

"No, actually. She...well, she travels a lot." She didn't want to divulge too much.

"That's rough. Long distance is tough. My girlfriend and I broke up for that very reason. She's back in Lafayette. I think she just doesn't want to be away from her family. Plus, she really didn't want to come out. I kept telling her she needed to get out of that town. Some of the people there were a bit small-minded. But she opted to stay."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Rachel may have been relating to her story a little too much.

She wasn't altogether shocked that Ashley was gay - or at least bisexual. Rachel didn't want to make any assumptions. But she kind of sensed it, especially when she would cast a glance in Rachel's direction that last just a little too long and had this certain softness in her eyes. Rachel shook it off and tried not to think about it. But now that they knew the truth about each other, maybe it was a good opportunity to get the perspective of someone else who's going through the same situation - being newly out while trying to make a name for yourself.

"You want to go grab some dinner or something?"

Before Rachel could answer, her phone beeped again. She opened another picture from Quinn. This time it was the outfit she was previously wearing in a pile on the floor. Rachel grinned at the insinuation and gathered her belongings.

"Rain check? There's someone I have to...I mean something I have to do."

\--

A few weeks later, Rachel rolled over onto her left side and started to get out of bed until she felt two arms wrap around her torso and pull her back.

"Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom."

Quinn held on tighter. "It's Sunday morning. We both have the day off. This bed is the only thing that exists for us."

"The bathroom doesn't exist?"

"You weren't going to the bathroom. You heard your phone go off a few minutes ago and now you want to check your texts."

"Stop knowing me!" Rachel giggled.

Quinn succeeded in pulling her back into the bed. Rachel really didn't hate when Quinn took charge of her.

Under the attack of Quinn's kisses, she heard Quinn's phone ring.

Quinn stopped to look at her phone to see who was calling and stared at her phone for a minute, looking perplexed.

"Uh uh. Nope. Nothing exists but this bed. Your rules. Not mine."

"It's my mother."

Rachel's smile fell as she sat up and held Quinn's hand.

"Hello?" You could hear the hopefulness in her voice.

"Yeah. Hi mom. I'm so glad you called. I haven't heard from you in..."

Quinn listened intently as her mother went on about something. Rachel couldn't quite hear.

"Oh." Quinn's face fell. "Yeah. Yeah, sure. Of course. I'll wire it to you tomorrow. How much?"

Rachel closed her eyes and shook her head. She wasn't hoping for a beautiful reunion and a heartfelt apology from Quinn's mom. Quinn really needed that. Or at least something along those lines. What she didn't need was her estranged mother calling her up out of the blue just to get some money. Rachel wanted to scream. And of course, Quinn was more than happy to send her parents whatever they wanted, regardless of the way they treated her when she was in the hospital. Because Quinn was a good person. A good daughter. And a good actress putting on a very convincing act for her mom, pretending everything was sunshine and rainbows since they walked out on her and cut off most contact.

But Rachel knew differently. She could see Quinn's exterior slowly start to crumble. She watched as her jaw began to tremble. Her hand gripped the phone tighter. Her eyes becoming misty. Rachel wanted to knock the phone out of her hand. She wanted to yell at Mrs. Fabray and tell her what an amazing woman her daughter is. But she just waited. Waited for the call to end so she could smother Quinn with her love to make up for the love her parents took away.

"Yeah. Okay. Yes, I promise I'll send it tomorrow. I love you, mom." She looked at her phone, then at Rachel. "She hung up."

With those three words spoken, Rachel dove at Quinn, wrapping her up in her arms and legs, holding on to her every which way she could, wondering if her love would ever be enough.

\--

Time started moving from a slow walk to a rapid pace. As Rachel entered tech week for the show, Quinn was constantly on conference calls with her agent trying to negotiate a deal for her latest project. With two films awaiting release and her HBO miniseries debuting last month to solid reviews and even more solid ratings, Quinn was a wanted woman. It was nice to finally start getting to the point where she could pick and choose the roles she wanted to play. But right now, as she had been telling Rachel every night when the brunette awoke from stress dreams about the show, the role she wanted right now was to be Rachel's girlfriend.

The pressure on Rachel was mounting with her NYADA classes and rehearsal, so by the time opening night came around, they were both a little relieved. No more twelve-hour rehearsal days. No more missing a class here and there in order to make it to rehearsal on time. Now all Rachel had to do was perform for two hours every night. She couldn't believe all her dreams, hard work and tenacity were finally about to pay off. She was going to star in an off-Broadway musical. And soon enough, that "off" part would simply disappear.

She sent invites out to all her friends from the glee club, Mr. Schuester, her dads, and her classmates at NYADA to come see the show's opening night.

She walked into the backstage area where she shared a dressing room with fourteen other girls and nine guys. Okay, it wasn't so much a dressing room as it was a room with a couple of mirrors and good lighting for putting on stage makeup.

"Well, there you are, Miss Popular."

Ashley was already in hair and makeup as she gestured to the flowers on the counter. Rachel approached the giant bouquet in the middle and read the card.

"To our star, Rachel Berry. We are with you in spirit and are so proud of you. Since we couldn't be there, we all pitched in to get you a bouquet bigger than you! You deserve nothing but the best. Love, Mr. Schuester, Kurt, Puck, Sam, Mercedes, Artie, Tina, Mike, Blaine and the rest of your New Directions brothers and sisters."

She was nearly moved to tears. She knew they wouldn't be able to come see her, especially since most of them were scattered around the country. But it was nice to know they were thinking of her and that they were proud of her.

She read the cards on the other bouquets. One was from Brittany and Santana, one was from her dads and one was from Quinn, whose bouquet wasn't quite as big as the one from her glee friends, but it was pretty damn close. The card simply read:

"Who's my big superstar? Love, Q"

It made Rachel snort with laughter.

"Wow," exclaimed Rachel.

"Yeah. You're making us all feel bad with all your flowers," exclaimed Ashley. "Show off." She winked in jest as she walked by Rachel.

"You think I'm showing off now? Wait until I belt out my songs tonight," Rachel called after her.

The thunderous applause from a packed house was a good indicator of how the show went. With the exception of a few flubbed lines and missed marks (none of which were Rachel's, of course) opening night was a success.

After taking her final bow, the curtain lowered and the cast exited the stage, congratulating each other. Rachel was barely out of her costume when Quinn pushed past everybody and came bounding up to her with a bear hug.

"You were fantastic! Seriously. Tears." Quinn motioned to her red eyes. "I even saw Santana wipe away a tear, not that she'd ever admit it. But you were amazing."

Quinn hugged her once more as her continuous praise started to make Rachel blush.

"Hey, Ohio. You rocked it tonight." Ashley came up to Rachel and gave her a hug before acknowledging Quinn. "Didn't she rock it? Oh shit. You're Quinn Fabray."

"Yeah. That I am."

Ashley put her hand out. "Wow. It's so great to meet you! Rachel, you didn't tell me you know Quinn Fabray."

"Oh, Rachel's full of lots of secrets," informed Quinn.

"I'll bet," agreed Ashley. "She's definitely the dark, mysterious type."

Rachel was trying to get a read on Quinn, wondering what she thought of Ashley. She had only mentioned her in passing before.

"Is she?"

"Well, she's super secretive. Refuses to divulge the inner most workings of her love life."

Rachel needed to break this up quickly. "Okay. Well, we're supposed meet some friends and family for dinner to celebrate, so I'll see you tomorrow, Ashley."

"Yup. Nice meeting you, Quinn. Big fan."

"Nice meeting you, too. You did a great job."

Ashley nodded and left the two alone.

Rachel looked at Quinn and then over at her flowers.

"So...how am I going to get all these flowers home?"

"With a crane. So who was that?" Quinn certainly wasn't in the mood for games.

Rachel had a feeling this would be their next conversation.

"That's Ashley. I told you about her. We have a lot in common."

Quinn nodded. "She's cute."

Rachel shrugged. "Yeah, I guess."

"She's the gay one, right?"

Rachel walked over to her shrine of flowers and started picking them up.

"Yeah, she's gay."

"Just leave those there. That way you can keep everyone with you in spirit. Did you tell her about me?"

Rachel put the flowers down. "That's a good idea. No, I didn't tell her about you. I told her I have a girlfriend, but I didn't mention your name."

Quinn nodded and Rachel could swear she saw a hint of disappointment in her eyes.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"Are you jealous?"

"Yes." She didn't even pause before answering.

Rachel stepped in closer to her girlfriend.

"Baby, she's just a friend. Someone that I can talk to about things."

"Things that aren't me," chided Quinn.

Rachel scoffed. "Wait, so now you want me telling people we're together?"

"No!" Quinn lowered her head. "I don't know. I mean, I guess not. But I just don't like the thought of her thinking that she has a chance with you."

"She doesn't have a chance with me. I've made it very clear to her that I'm very much in love and in a very committed relationship."

"Okay," Quinn conceded.

"Do you want me to tell her you're my girlfriend?"

Quinn shook her head. "I wish this was easier."

"It can be," assured Rachel.

"Come on. The girls and your dads are probably at the restaurant by now."

Quinn picked up Rachel's bag for her and ushered her out of the back door of the theatre.

\--

Word of mouth spread quickly about Rachel's performance. Within two weeks of the show's debut, she had gotten several interview requests. The Village Voice, , Back Stage West, even the editors of the NYADA newsletter asked to do a story on her. She was nervous about doing interviews for the first time, but Quinn prepped her and assured her that she would be fine.

"Quinn! Quinn, it's here!"

Rachel charged into the bathroom where Quinn had just stepped out of the shower.

"What's here?"

"The Village Voice interview. I grabbed a bunch of copies. Come read it!"

Quinn wrapped the towel around her and sat on the couch next to Rachel. She grabbed one of the copies on the coffee table and proceeded to read all about the emerging artist that was Rachel Berry.

Rachel watched her with anticipation. More than anything, she wanted to make Quinn proud. With both of their careers on the rise, they would become unstoppable.

Quinn pursed her lips as she finished up the article. For a moment she didn't say anything. She just sat there looking at the article.

"What do you think?"

"You...you came out. You told them you're gay?"

Rachel had a feeling this was going to be a point of contention for them. From the moment those words escaped her mouth, she instantly thought of Quinn and how she would react. But she couldn't help it. The interviewer asked if she had a boyfriend. She didn't want to lie and she had no reason not to tell the truth, so she admitted she had a girlfriend.

"Yes."

"Why?"

Rachel took Quinn's hand, still wet from her shower. "Because I am. And I feel like I have no reason to hide it."

"What about me?"

"Quinn, this has nothing to do with you. This is about me. This is about the fact that I'm completely comfortable with the whole world knowing who I am. I thought you'd be proud of me."

"I am. I just...didn't expect you to just blurt it out to some reporter."

"Well, I'm sorry it wasn't on the cover of People Magazine, but this was an opportunity to open up about what it's like to be a gay woman in musical theatre."

Quinn put her head in her hands. "I just wish you had discussed this with me first."

At that, Rachel snapped. She could take a lot of shit, but this was starting to go too far.

"Why should I have discussed it with you? He asked, I answered. I didn't have a publicist there telling me what to say or cutting off his questions if they got too personal. It felt right to say it and I'm not taking it back."

"Well congratulations."

"Gee thanks."

"Well, what do you want me to say?"

"How about 'it's a great article! Good job Rachel!'"

Quinn was silent and Rachel could feel herself starting to lose it.

"Let me ask you something, Quinn. It's been weighing on my mind for the longest time. You told me that you were willing to come out when you were with Kasey. You wanted the whole world to know you loved her. You were sixteen and you were ready to suffer any consequences that came with coming out. We've been together over two years. Why can't you do it for me? What happened to that fearlessness? What happened to that decision to choose love over what society's standards?"

Rachel could feel Quinn becoming more closed off. She was hunched over, her towel firmly wrapped around her body. She couldn't look up from her hands.

"I'm afraid I'll end up alone. I've already lost my parents. I don't want to end up isolating myself from everyone I've ever known."

"But every time you say you're single or tell the press you're not dating anyone, you're denying me. You're denying our relationship. I would never deny you."

She could tell Quinn was trying to fight back tears.

"We live together," continued Rachel. "We're a couple. We have been for a long time. Don't you think it's time you actually acknowledge it? Look at me. I came out and I'm relatively unscathed."

Quinn shook her head. "It's different in the theatre world. It's a safer environment. It's more open-minded."

"Well, maybe you can be the next step in helping the Hollywood crowd be more accepting of it. It's not your fans that will care, Quinn. It's just the people who make money off of you. You're a brand to them. You said it yourself."

"You're right. I'm just a used commodity."

"That's not what I meant and you know it. You're so talented. You're so beautiful. You're so kind and sweet and generous. Everyone loves that about you. Being gay doesn't change anything about you. The only thing it will do is make you feel more free."

"Rachel, we've talked about this. I can't, okay?"

Rachel stood up in a huff. "I love you Quinn. But I've been too nice about this for far too long. I went along with it because I know how important it was for you to keep your image intact. But I also thought there would be an end in sight. Here we are two years later and it's all the same. You seem perfectly content to live your life as a lie and pretend that I'm merely a friend to you. That's selfish. And I'm tired of it."

"Rachel, you know your more than just a friend to me. You're everything."

"No one else seems to know that." She grabbed her bag and headed for the door.

"Where are you going?" Quinn turned around so her chin was resting on the back of the couch, watching Rachel.

"It's forty-five minutes to curtain. I'm already late. We'll finish this later. Maybe."

"Why don't you go discuss it with Ashley," Quinn yelled after her.

With that, she was out the door. Rachel heard Quinn's last words to her and was now fuming. She waited for what felt like forever for the elevator to reach their floor. Once the door opened, Rachel realized she forgot her stage makeup kit. Mentally berating herself for being so forgetful, she walked back to her apartment. Once the door was open, she found that Quinn was no longer on the couch. She glanced around the room and found her kit on the side table. Before turning to leave, she heard something coming from their bedroom.

The closer and closer she got to the bedroom, the louder the noise became. The door was cracked open and Rachel peeked through to see Quinn sitting on the floor against the wall. She was naked. At some point the towel around her fell off and she simply allowed it to happen. She watched as Quinn rocked back and forth while sobbing uncontrollably. The sight completely broke Rachel's heart. But she was still angry with her. Seething, really. Plus, if she waited any longer, she would be late. And she couldn't be late. She just couldn't. It wasn't in her nature.

So she backed away, grabbed her makeup kit and walked out the door with the sounds of Quinn's cries echoing in her head.


	30. Say Something, I'm Giving Up On You

The awkwardness and tension that ensued after their fight seemed to grow exponentially over the next few weeks. They were still very much a couple. Quinn still watched multiple performances of Rachel's show and sent her flowers on the night of each performance. They still talked. They still kissed. They still slept in the same bed every night. But Rachel could feel the gap between them in their bed getting bigger and bigger with each passing night. It got to the point where both girls very obviously wanted to hold each other, but neither of them seemed to remember how. Rachel was still hurt and upset and Quinn was too scared of what Rachel's reaction might be if she attempted to hold her. What if she flinched? What if she pulled away?

By the end of the Frozen run, Rachel was glad to have a little more time to focus on her NYADA finals. The end of her first year there was coming to a close and she chose to put all her extra energy into acing her classes. There were a few times when she would stay late after class, even if she didn't need to. But she didn't feel like going home just yet. Things were just a little too tense. They weren't fighting, but they weren't really talking, either. Rachel was starting to feel how she felt when they first met. Like she constantly had to walk on eggshells around Quinn. It was exhausting. Still, every time she heard or saw something that would make Quinn laugh, she would text her. And when Quinn would respond with a witty remark, it made her heart feel whole again. Even if just for that moment.

As for Rachel's foray into Off-Broadway musical theatre, the reviews for Frozen were fairly positive. But every review pointed out that the real star of the show wasn't the show itself, but Rachel Berry and her powerhouse voice. The students and teachers at NYADA all knew who she was by this point, not to mention a handful of Broadway casting directors. For Rachel, it felt like just the beginning of her lifelong dream. And she planned to ride the high for as long as possible.

With the show wrapped and the semester winding down, Rachel started to get to know the New York nightlife a little bit better. While Quinn was in LA for the week, Rachel would go out with Ashley or some of her friends from school. Her nights with Ashley usually consisted of frequenting gay clubs to help Ashley meet someone. Rachel, as it turned out, was quite the wingman. She definitely helped Ashley get laid on more than one occasion. When Ashley wasn't on the prowl, they just shared a few laughs and compared theatre stories.

By the time Quinn got back, things started to feel a little bit back to normal. Rachel had missed her and Quinn had missed Rachel, which was a good sign. But when it came time to go out with Brittany and Santana, Quinn opted to stay home since she had a early meeting with some casting directors the next morning. Rachel tried to hide her disappointment, but gave her a kiss goodnight and headed out to meet the girls. She told them she was more in the mood to stay in, so they opened a bottle of wine and hung out at their studio apartment, getting blissfully drunk and catching up on each other's lives.

"So Quinn chose sleep over us," asked a disappointed Brittany.

"Maybe it's for the best," said Santana while opening another bottle of wine. "This way we can talk about her."

"You guys, I don't really feel like talking about it," replied Rachel.

"Sure you do. Why else would you be here? You came for a little dose of reality from Auntie Tana."

"No," protested Brittany. "She came to watch girly movies and do pedicures."

Rachel put her arm around Brittany. "That's exactly why I came here."

She held her glass out for more wine as her phone buzzed. She unknowingly smirked as she read the text.

"And who, may I ask, is texting you?"

"No one." Rachel tried to put her phone away, but Santana snatched it out of her hand and read the text out loud.

"'I kind of hate that I don't get to hear you sing every night now.' What the hell is this?" Santana waved the phone in front of Rachel.

"It's just this girl. Ashley."

"Ah yes. Ashley. She's from the play, right?"

"Yes."

"She seems pretty into you," observed Santana as she took a sip of wine.

Rachel shrugged. "Honestly, at first I wasn't sure. But now it kind of seems like it. She's been texting me a lot."

"She knows you have a girlfriend, right," asked Brittany.

"Yeah, but she's not convinced it's serious since she's never met her. Even though, she has met her. Several times, actually."

"The plot thickens," exclaimed Santana. "Does Quinn know she's flirting with you?"

Rachel didn't know if it was the wine or the interrogation, but her face started feeling excruciatingly hot.

"She's not really flirting with me, she's just -"

"Flirting with you," assured Santana. "She wants to touch her lady parts to your lady parts and move them around."

"Santana!"

"I wonder how many times she snuck a peek during your quick changes."

"Santana!" Both Brittany and Rachel were begging for her to stop.

"What? It's pretty obvious." Santana began scrolling through past text messages. "I mean based on these texts."

"Give me my phone back!" Rachel grabbed it from her and turned it off.

"You still didn't answer my question. Does Quinn know Ashley is hot for Broadway's future star?"

Rachel thought for a minute, trying to carefully craft her answer. But she knew no matter what she said, Santana would find a way to make her see the cold, hard truth.

"Things with Quinn are a little too tense to bring up the fact that my former costar, who happens to be gay, is hitting on me."

"She's also pretty hot."

Rachel shrugged. While she did agree that Ashley was very attractive, she never really found herself being attracted to her. Maybe it was her sense of professionalism during the show. Or maybe she felt more of a sisterly vibe from her. Either way, these texts were making things far more confused than she already was. As she took another sip of wine, she found herself really missing Quinn right now. She felt guilty even talking about another girl.

"Can we just drop it and talk about the fact that you two need to find a bigger place? How can you possibly feel comfortable going to the bathroom with only a curtain dividing you from the living room/bedroom/kitchen?"

"Nice try, but we're not changing the subject."

Rachel stood up. "Well, in that case, I'm going to head home."

"Wait. Just let me say one thing."

"What?"

Santana looked at her earnestly. "Look, Berry. If there's one thing I've learned about you after all these years, it's that you're stronger than you'll ever know. And you're patient and understanding as fuck. But something's gotta give. She can't keep doing this to you."

Brittany interjected. "Santana, stop it."

"No. She needs to hear the truth. Aren't you sick of seeing Rachel so unhappy?"

"I'm not unhappy," objected Rachel. "I'm just...conflicted."

"I like you two together," admitted Brittany.

"I like us together, too," assured Rachel. "I just don't know if she'll ever be able to give me what I want."

Rachel left before either of them could respond. She needed to get home. She didn't like the thoughts swirling in her head. She had to see Quinn. She had to remember how Quinn makes her feel. She had to remember everything they've been through. She had to know that they could continue to get through anything. It was just a bad day. Or week. Or maybe a bad couple of months, but didn't every relationship go through that?

When Rachel got home, she crawled into bed. Quinn was sound asleep next to her, breathing in and out in a deep slumber. Rachel lay there for a second, watching her sleep and listening to her breath. Her blonde hair was already mussed from sleeping, half of it sticking almost straight up. Rachel smiled to herself and scooted closer to her. Letting her confusion and anger subside, she put her arms around Quinn. She felt the blonde stir awake, stiff and unsure. Then she felt her body completely relax and melt into Rachel's. She pulled Rachel's arms tightly around her, kissed her hand and let out a contented sigh.

The white flag had been raised. Now they just had to hope it would keep waving.

\--

Rachel walked through the door after her last final. She was exhausted, but beyond excited that her first year was over. She was excited to celebrate and she was excited to receive one of Quinn's epic celebratory hugs.

She was not disappointed as she felt two arms being thrown around her body.

"How did your finals go," asked Quinn, who was still attached to her.

"I think I did pretty well," replied Rachel. who pulled Quinn in closer to her, trying to find a comfortable spot for her arms.

"I know you're probably tired, but I wanted to take you out to dinner," informed Quinn

Rachel took Quinn's hands and gently peeled their bodies apart.

"Aw baby, that's so sweet. But Ashley actually set up a gathering type thing at a restaurant uptown."

Quinn looked confused and a little hurt. "But she not even a NYADA student."

"I know, but she wanted to do something nice for me. She even invited some of my NYADA friends. And she wanted me to invite Brittany and Santana. And you."

"Wait, so you'd rather go out with all of them instead of spending time together?"

"We would still be spending time together. Just other people will be there, too."

Rachel knew Quinn was about to pout. "We barely got to see each other the whole semester."

"We'll spend all day together tomorrow. I promise. Come on. Come out with us." She grazed her hand along Quinn's waist, trying to coax her.

"I don't know."

"You never come out with me."

"Yes, I do."

"You never want to meet my friends."

"I do, baby. I just...I have to be careful. We have to be careful."

"So I'm not allowed friends?"

"I didn't say that," objected Quinn.

"Look, just because you don't open yourself up enough to have close friends, doesn't mean I can't."

Quinn shot her a hurt look. "I have friends."

Rachel's anger was overpowering the guilt she felt at the pained look in Quinn's eyes.

"You have Brittany."

"And Brandon. And lots of people back in LA."

"Your agent? Your stylist?"

Quinn folded her arms and turned away and that's when Rachel knew she had gone too far.

"You can stop now, okay? I get it. I don't have friends."

Rachel sat down on the couch, frustrated. "I didn't mean that. I know you have friends. You're just not honest with most of them."

"Honesty isn't everything," argued Quinn.

"It's the only thing. If you can't be honest about who you are, then how can you possibly even like who you are?"

Quinn turned around and walked over to Rachel. "Just forget it, okay? We'll go out. We'll invite all your friends. We'll have fun." She took Rachel's hand and turned to go, but Rachel pulled her back.

She stayed where she was on the couch while looking up at Quinn and taking her hand. She kept question whether or not she could keep going through this. High school was one thing, but now they had a life together. They were adults, fully capable of making adult decisions and living life how they wanted to live. Suddenly, the thoughts that had been keeping her up at night over the last couple months were all coming back to her. And her heart began to sink with the devastated look of realization on Quinn's face.

It was at this moment Rachel realized what she needed to do. And she could feel her heart break apart, crumbling all around her, falling to their feet.

The look on Quinn's face. The fear. The she quivering of her jaw. It was all too much.

"Rach..." Quinn shook her head, as if reading her mind.

"Quinn."

"Rach, come on. Let's go out. We'll blow off some steam. We'll have fun with your friends."

"Quinn, sit down," Rachel replied softly.

Quinn shook her head again, her voice cracking. "No."

"Baby, please sit down."

Quinn stood there silent until finally giving in to Rachel's request. But instead of sitting, she knelt down in front of her girlfriend, looking up at her with those magnetic hazel eyes. Rachel could feel her insides ripping in two.

"Something's not right, Quinn. It hasn't been for a while."

"We can fix this." Quinn put her hands on Rachel's knees.

Rachel shook her head. "I think we're far beyond fixing at this point.

"Rachel, please. How can you say that?"

"We can't keep having the same fight over and over again."

Quinn lowered her head, trying to remain calm. "So this is where you give the ultimatum, right? Come out now or we break up?"

Rachel took her hands into her own. "I would never, ever give you an ultimatum Quinn. That wouldn't be fair. I would never force you to make that kind of decision. Especially since it's something that's been plaguing you since I've known you."

Quinn heaved a sigh of relief that nearly stopped Rachel's heart But she continued. She had to.

"So I'm going to make the decision for you."

Quinn's eyes, red and watery, looked up and searched for some kind of understanding.

"What?"

Rachel tightened her grip on Quinn's hands.

"I can't stand by and watch you self-destruct. This self-hatred is eating you up inside. How can I possibly expect you to love me fully when you can't even love yourself?"

The sob that escaped Quinn's throat in that moment was enough to paralyze Rachel. She couldn't believe she was causing the woman she loved so much pain, but what else could she do? Quinn had her demons to battle and Rachel was too tired to keep fighting them with her. She wasn't heartless, though. This was killing her as much as it was killing Quinn. She started crying right along with her girlfriend. Tears fell as she stroked the blonde hair in her lap.

"Please don't do this."

It was faint, but Rachel heard it clearly. Quinn was begging. She was trying to get Rachel to change her mind. But she wasn't offering the one thing she wanted. While she had no intention of giving her an ultimatum, she did secretly hope that this last ditch effort would work and would give Quinn the courage she needed to come out. She wanted Quinn to tell her she's not afraid because with Rachel by her side, there was nothing she couldn't get through.

But those words didn't come. All she heard was Quinn repeating the words "Please don't do this."

Rachel used her arm to wipe the tears from her eyes. She got down on her knees at Quinn's level and held on to her. The physical contact was much needed, but they both knew what this was. So they held on as tight as they could for as long as they could. Because eventually, they both knew Rachel was going to let go.

"I love you, Quinn," whispered Rachel. "I just wish you would, too."


	31. We Seemed Like A Good Idea

Four months later...

Rachel could feel herself shaking off her slumber. Her eyes remained closed as her body acclimated to waking up. She stretched out and rolled to her side, feeling an emptiness in her and throughout the room. Then, she remembered. Just like she remembers every other morning. She hates this moment. The five seconds where she suddenly realizes Quinn is on the other side of the country and no longer in her life. She hated that moment when she reached out for Quinn but found nothing. The worst were the dreams. Quinn was always in her dreams and they were always so vivid. Every morning, in that moment, she felt like crying. This morning was no exception. But she opened her eyes, shook it off and gets up to follow the smell of coffee. She came out of her bedroom to find that Brittany and Santana have made breakfast. She loves that they try to take care of her, so tries to ignore the fact that none of the breakfast is vegan friendly. Yet again.

It was very odd waking up and finding Brittany Pierce and Santana Lopez in her apartment every day, but she was slowly getting used to it. After the breakup, Quinn made it clear she wanted Rachel to keep the apartment. Rachel didn't want Quinn to have to pay for any of it, so she took over the lease and asked the girls to move in with her. It was nice to have the company. The first few nights, before they moved in, she had never felt so alone. She still feels alone, but sometimes Brittany has a way of sensing the particularly difficult nights. Perhaps she heard the tiny sobs through the wall. Those were the nights Brittany would sneak into Rachel's room and crawl into bed with her, stroking her hair until she fell asleep.

To say their breakup was devastating was an understatement. Rachel went through all the stages of grief: denial, bargaining, anger, depression, and acceptance. But she was still going back and forth between each stage. She wasn't sure if she would ever officially go through the acceptance phase. Crying was second nature to her now. She ended up having to take the semester off at NYADA. It was just too difficult to focus when her heart was broken. It was a pretty harsh summer. She couldn't bare being there when Quinn moved all her stuff out, so she booked a flight to Lima to visit her dads. Sadly, being there only reminded her of Quinn and the early parts of their relationship.

Quinn had called and texted her a few times in the first month. It was clear she wasn't ready to give up on Rachel, but Rachel knew if she answered or responded, she wouldn't be able to resist her. She told Quinn it would be best to make it a clean break. Quinn had work to do in LA for a while, anyway, so she decided to move back and let Rachel take over the apartment. Rachel had questioned over and over again if this was the right decision. If they both felt so awful, and after four months, Rachel was still crying, was it really the right choice to end it? She convinced herself it was. She just couldn't see any way they could continue the way they were, with Rachel loving Quinn out lout and Quinn denying who she was and denying to the world the love they shared. She was tired of seeing it tear Quinn apart. So Rachel forged ahead, trying to forget something her heart couldn't seem to let go of.

What Rachel couldn't forget was Quinn telling her just before she left to go back to LA that one day she would find the courage to come out. It was a solemn vow she made to Rachel in a voicemail as she moved the last of her things out of their place. Rachel listened to the message eleven times before having the courage to delete it. She wanted so badly to believe it, but had a hard time doing so.

It was a daily struggle for Rachel not to call Quinn. It was an even bigger struggle not to think about her. Her eyes, her hair, her face, her voice. Just when she thought she was doing so well, Rachel would see something that reminded her of Quinn. Most recently, it was when she walked by the newsstand on the corner to see Quinn on the cover of Maxim Magazine clad only in a strategically placed bikini.

Yes, it was definitely a struggle.

\--

Rachel did what she could to keep herself busy. Since she took the semester off, she had to find other ways to occupy her thoughts. She upped her workout game by a thousand percent. She went on auditions left and right and even got cast in a few showcases.

On nights when she actually felt like going out, she would meet Ashley for drinks or dinner every once in a while. Tonight was one of those nights. She had just finished a workshop when Ashley texted her to meet for drinks two blocks away. Rachel didn't feel like going home just yet and Ashley always did have a way of cheering her up.

The bar was crowded and loud, so they took their drinks out to the patio where it was a bit colder, but much more peaceful.

Ashley was recapping her week while Rachel had to force herself to not look at her phone for seventeenth time that night. She didn't know why she still constantly checked her phone since the texts from Quinn had stopped months ago. It was just habit by this point.

"So I was killing myself trying to learn this hip-hop routine for the callback, and my hip ended up locking up and I fell over. Hard. Right in the middle of the stage. And they still let me come back for a second callback. Maybe it was my quick recovery time," joked Ashley as she took another sip of her martini.

Rachel smiled and nodded, only half paying attention.

"Hello?" Ashley waved in her face. "I just told you that I fell on my ass in the middle of a dance callback and I don't even get a chuckle? Where are you tonight?"

Rachel finished what was left of her drink. "I'm sorry. I'm just a bit distracted."

Ashley put her hand on Rachel's. "Doesn't it get old thinking about her?"

"Thinking about who?"

"Your ex."

Rachel pulled her hand away. "I need another drink."

"You need to get back out there, Rachel. You owe it to all the hot, single gay girls in New York."

Rachel laughed. "I don't owe it to anyone. I owe it to myself to be single and just focus on my career and getting my life back on track."

"You can do all that and still date at the same time."

Rachel shook her head. "I really don't think so. In fact, there's an open audition coming up for the Broadway revival of Sweet Charity. I think I should focus all my time and energy on nailing the audition."

Ashley downed the rest of her martini and leaned in toward Rachel. "You could be nailing other things at the same time."

Rachel stiffened as Ashley's lips met hers. The other girl was really going for it, and for one brief moment, Rachel gave in and kissed her back before pulling away.

"Ashley, no."

"No?"

"No. We're friends."

"Don't you want to be more than that?" She took Rachel's hand once more. "Rachel, I would be so proud to be your girlfriend. I know I'm not as famous and beautiful as Quinn, and it would be almost unfair to compare me to her."

Rachel froze. "H...how did you know that Quinn was my girlfriend?"

Ashley scoffed. "Because I have eyes. And a brain. She hasn't been around in four months...right around the same time you told me you and your girlfriend broke up." Ashley locked eyes with Rachel. "But I actually knew before that. It was easy to see. Just the way she looked at you. It was obvious."

"It was?" The crowd from the patio suddenly turned into white noise for Rachel.

"She really didn't do the best job hiding it. Neither did you. You had stars in your eyes for her. Like literal stars. Your eyes sparkled every time she was remotely near you. It was almost nauseating. Mostly because I was jealous."

Rachel started to feel sick. She was starting to regret that last drink. It was wreaking havoc on her stomach as the words came pouring out of Ashley's mouth. Based on this reaction alone, it was very clear she was not ready to even think about dating anyone.

She stood up, gripping the table for support. "I have to go."

"Rachel, wait." Ashley started to follow her out.

"I'm sorry, Ashley. I don't think of you that way. I'm flattered, but I can't see myself dating anyone right now. Not for a while."

With those words, she left. She needed her bed. And maybe Brittany stroking her hair, telling her everything was going to be all right.

\--

Rachel spent the next couple weeks preparing for the open audition. She doubled up on voice lessons, took every kind of dance class she could afford, and rehearsed her song and backup song at least fifteen times a day. It would have been more, but Santana threatened to sneak into her room in the middle of the night and cut our her larynx. The preparation was exactly what she needed to get her mind off Quinn. It was a very welcomed distraction.

On the day of the audition, her very obliging roommates made her a special vegan breakfast and accompanied her to the audition. That way, no matter how it went, she would have a couple of friendly faces greeting her as she came out.

The night after the audition, the three of them were hanging out, trying to decide what to do. Well, Santana and Brittany were discussing what they wanted to do that night. Rachel was sulking. She was sure she blew the audition. Even though every note she sang was flawless (a fact that was reiterated by her Cheerio entourage who could hear her singing from the lobby), Rachel knew deep down that it just wasn't enough. She tried to push it out of her mind. There would be other auditions. But she really wanted this. She needed it.

"I think we should stay in and watch a movie," declared Brittany.

"I want to go out," replied Santana.

Brittany looked over at her with puppy dog eyes. "I think we should order food and watch a musical to cheer up Rachel."

"I don't need cheering up," argued Rachel.

"Yes you do," assured Brittany. "We're going to watch Annie. It's decided."

"Annie? Really, Brit?" Santana was none too pleased about the choice.

"Rachel had a hard week. It was hard knock life for her, if you will." She paused a minute to laugh at her own joke. "She's still trying to get over Quinn, she was hit on by a girl she thought was her friend who has now decided to avoid her like the plague, and she's going crazy waiting to hear about her audition. I think she needs a fun, musical night."

"I still can't believe that bitch kissed you. That took guts."

Rachel shrugged. "It made me realize that I'm not even close to being over Quinn. It was weird. It almost felt like I was cheating on her."

"The first kiss after a breakup always feels that way," replied Santana.

"Maybe you'll never get over her," suggested Brittany.

"Why would you say that?" asked Rachel, hurt at the suggestion.

"I mean, maybe you're not supposed to get over her. Maybe you're still crying every day and still sad because you two should be together."

Rachel leaned her head back on the couch. "Brittany, I know you've been the strongest advocate of our relationship and our biggest cheerleader, but we broke up for some very important reasons. And unless a huge change is made in her life, it's going to remain that way. I'm sorry."

Brittany sadly nodded. "But you miss her, right?"

"Every day."

"And she misses you."

"How do you know?"

"We email every once in a while. She's really sad. Like you."

Rachel was silent. Hearing that Quinn was having a hard time made her feel equally better and worse.

"I think you need to be cheered up. Let's watch Annie."

Rachel got up, grabbed her Annie DVD and handed it to Brittany. "Watch it if you want to. I'm not in the mood. I think I'm just gonna go to bed."

Brittany handed the DVD back to Rachel. "Can you open it for me? My nails are still drying."

"Brittany, you painted your toenails."

"Please just open it for me."

Rachel obliged and popped open the DVD. An envelope with Rachel's name on it fell out of the case and onto the floor. Rachel picked it up and her heart stopped when she recognized the writing on the envelope.

She examined it as she looked up at Brittany.

"I thought maybe you could use a little pick-me-up. I know you aren't talking to Quinn, but I know how happy she makes you. Even if you're not together. Maybe her words will help calm you."

Rachel felt like crying. She had tried so hard to forget about Quinn and now here Quinn was, her writing staring her right in the face. Part of her wanted to rip up the letter. Another part couldn't wait to read the words Quinn had for her. Granted, she had written this a long time ago, but maybe by reading it, Rachel could remember and hold on to some semblance of what Quinn meant to her. And even though they weren't together, Rachel felt like she needed that.

She didn't know whether to yell at Brittany for making her feel this way or to hug her for knowing that she needed something like this to keep her going.

"I'm going to go read this in my room. And then I'm going to come back out and we're going to watch Annie."

Brittany bounced up and down in excitement, clapping her hands. "Yay!"

As Rachel headed to her room, she overheard Santana whispering to Brittany.

"Brit Brit, I love you, but I wish you hadn't done that. This could set her back in her quest to get over her."

With the door closed, Rachel collapsed onto her bed and nervously opened the envelope to find Quinn's words staring her in the face.

"Dear Rachel,

I know Annie is the movie you watch when you get hopelessly depressed. I don't know where you'll be when you read this. Or where I'll be. With any luck, I'll be right next to you, watching you read each word and assuring you that whatever you're going through, it's going to be okay. I'm excited to see where we are in life when you read this. Whether it's five days from now, five months from now or five years from now. I really wonder about where you'll be when you read this. And I can't wait to know who you are five years from now. I think about our future a lot, actually. I hope that doesn't scare you. But every possible scenario I picture, you are with me and we are fighting through this beautiful life together.

In this future, we are still each other's biggest fans. Your Broadway dreams will have been realized. You'll probably be prominently displaying your Tony Award above our fireplace. (Along with my Oscar...or Emmy. I'll be happy with either one). There has never been a doubt in my mind that you will famous. You will be Broadway's brightest star. And you'll burn so bright, no one will be able to touch you. Except for me, of course. Because I'm always allowed to touch you.

So we will have our awards and our fame and our lovely life together. This is a dream I know will be a reality. But my other dream, of course, consists of me holding you and kissing you in the streets of New York, making everyone jealous of our relationship. I know it hasn't been easy. And it'll continue to be difficult until I'm able to come out, but we will get through it together. I'm beyond lucky that you've been so understanding about it.

I'm going to tell you a story. One I haven't really disclosed to you before. When I was in the second grade, I remember having my first crush on a girl in my class. I didn't know what to think about it, but I was excited to go home and tell my parents all about this really sweet and pretty girl. That night, I was working on my homework at the table while my parents were watching TV. They were flipping through and landed briefly on an episode of Will and Grace. Then, I heard my father tell my mother that if he ever had a kid that was gay, he would slit his wrists. I know I was young, but I was old enough to know what that meant. And just the thought of me being responsible for my father's death was a lot for a seven-year-old. As I got older, that fear went away, but the words always stuck with me. It's hard to allow myself to be me when I've been told all my life that who I am is wrong. My parents have their suspicions. I know they do. And the way they look at me...as if they were disgusted with me, as if I was tainted. I could barely stand having two people look at me like that, let alone the entire world. I know it's selfish and I'm trying to work on it. But hopefully this helps to explain a little more about my hesitation to come out.

So there's a little glimpse into my past that hopefully explains my present situation.

But now, back to our future. I have zero doubt in my mind that I will someday be the wife of Broadway Legend Rachel Berry. I'm not afraid to say that. I know we're young and we have a lot of living to do, but I can't wait to be with you and live with you and grow with you. You have so much heart. You inspire me every day. If you ever doubt yourself or what you are capable of, please re-read this letter. And know that you are the strongest woman I have ever known. (You'd have to be...having to deal with me for all this time.)

I love you.

Quinn"

Rachel lay there, studying the letter, wondering how it was possible to feel even more brokenhearted about Quinn. But at the same time, it reinforced the fact that, because of her past, Quinn was on her own journey and perhaps that journey would lead her back to Rachel someday, but for now, this is what Quinn needed to feel safe. And, as hard as it was, it's what Rachel needed to feel free. Still, she was grateful that Brittany chose this moment to lead her to the letter. Somehow, reading Quinn's words really helped to fill a gaping hole in her heart. Maybe she should stop putting so much pressure on herself and just trust that her Broadway dreams will come true. She just has to wait it out for a bit. It's a daily struggle, a lot like how it's been trying to get over Quinn. This letter had the potential to make it infinitely harder to move on, but somehow reading it made her feel more at peace. It was something she hadn't felt in a long time.

She smiled to herself and pulled out her phone. She typed out a simple text to Quinn: "Found the letter in Annie. Thank you. Truly. I hope you're doing well."

There were so many other things she wanted to say, but she was only allowing herself to send those words and nothing more.


	32. You Still Get My Heart Racing

The phone was ringing. It had been ringing all morning. She heard it. She knew who was on the other end. And that's why she refused to answer it. Also, the fact that her bed was just way too comfortable to get out of and the drawn shades in her dark room gave off the idea that it was still nighttime.

She pulled the blanket over her head - a move she had become very fond of over the last few months - and waited for the phone to stop ringing. It finally did, but only for a moment. Once it started up again, she pulled the pillow over her head to drown out the incessant noise. She was mentally going over new ideas for a ringtone since she was going to grow really sick of this one by the end of the day.

Finally, it became too much for her. Quinn threw the covers off and walked over to her phone. She hesitated slightly before picking up, knowing she was about to get an earful.

"Before you say anything, you should know I was in the shower," Quinn explained, defensively.

"For three hours?" Her publicist was raging.

Quinn could picture the vein in her forehead bulging.

"I know, I know. I'll be ready for the premiere by 4pm."

"Was the dress delivered?

"Yes."

"Shoes?"

"Yes."

"Jewelry?"

"Yes."

"Did you shave your legs?"

Quinn looked down to examine her legs. "I'll get on it."

"Three hours in the shower and you didn't even shave?"

"I was daydreaming."

"Honey, you can never fool me. Pull your ass out of that bed and get ready. Tonight is your night. I'll see you there. Love you."

She hung up before the "you" even came out.

Quinn put her phone back down and crawled back into bed. Yes, tonight was supposed to be her night, but how could she possibly enjoy it? She knew she'd have to plaster on yet another fake smile and greet her fans and journalists and other cast members. She was a pro at that by now. It had been two weeks since she last heard from Rachel. A text saying that she had found the note from her hidden in the Annie dvd. The second she saw the text, her heart pounded and her breathing sped up. How could one little text bring her so much anxiety? She must have read it a hundred times until her phone finally died. Then, after charging it, she read it a few hundred more. She opted not to respond. After debating back and forth for hours, she knew it was best to leave it.

It was safe to say that Quinn was not handling the breakup well. She tried burying herself in her work, but a lot of her work consists of waiting around with nothing but your thoughts and your cell phone to accompany you.

She went out with some industry friends from time to time and by this point, Brandon was pretty much promoted to "best friend" status. He had been endlessly supportive since she moved back to LA and made it a point to try to keep her busy when he could. He even suggested they be each others' wing man and pick up girls at bars. He was only half joking, but knew she would never go for it.

He was even kind enough to escort her as her date to tonight's premiere of her new film, Chaos Theory. It was strictly platonic, of course, as both of them constantly went out of their way to remind people there were just friends.

He was smart enough to never bring up Rachel around Quinn and kind enough to listen in the tearful moments Quinn actually wanted to talk about her. It was a mess and they were both trying to navigate their way through it. Him by trying to be a good friend and her by trying to just survive the whole damn thing.

Quinn sulked in her bed a bit longer until her phone rang again. This time, it was someone she didn't mind picking up for.

"Hey."

"You better be getting ready because I look so good, I might actually fuck myself tonight."

"Don't you do that every night when you turn on your laptop?"

"Only on days that end in 'y.' Anyway, you better look smokin' if you're going to have me on your arm."

"Don't worry, Brandon. I'll be a solid eight."

"Please. You're a ten the second your roll out of bed. Don't even deny it. It's just such a shame I'm not even remotely attracted to you. We'd make such a hot couple."

"Yeah, THAT'S the reason we're not together. Because YOU'RE not attracted to ME."

"I'm not! Well, maybe for like a second when I first met you. But then you started talking and I realized you're way too smart for my taste. Also, a little too gay."

"Don't worry, we'll find you someone who, by tomorrow morning, will regret sleeping with you."

\--

Quinn sat like a statue, barely even blinking as her hair stylist and makeup artist were adding their finishing touches. She could feel the makeup caked on her face. Her hair had been teased and sprayed and it was starting to give her a headache. It had never bothered her before, but for some reason, her stoicism was starting to waver. She wanted to get out of this chair. She'd had enough primping and prepping. She just wanted to walk the red carpet, wave to some fans, answer some questions, pose for some pictures, sneak out of the theater and go home.

But she stayed where she was until the people who were paid to make her beautiful had completed their job.

She couldn't help but think of Rachel in this moment. She wondered if Rachel would even watch the movie. Probably not, since she could barely think about Rachel for two minutes before falling into a depression. She wondered if Rachel would feel the same having to watch Quinn on screen for two hours. She often wondered if Rachel even missed her at all, but the emails she would sometimes get from Brittany stated that she did. As much as she didn't want Rachel to hurt, she was always somewhat relieved knowing she at least missed her.

\--

"Are you okay? You don't seem all that thrilled to be here," Brandon observed while fishing around for something in his pocket.

Quinn pulled a wisp of hair way from her eyes. "It's just not the same without Lance. He's my usual driver. This whole thing just feels...off."

"Jeez, your driver takes off a few months to recover from knee surgery and you make it all about you. You really are spoiled Hollywood royalty. I'm so proud."

Quinn nudged Brandon. "It's not just Lance. It's...everything."

They pulled up to the premiere and Quinn sat there for a moment. Brandon finally found what he was looking for and Quinn rolled her eyes as he took a bump of his precious white powdery pick-me-up. He didn't even bother offering it to her, knowing full well she would decline.

"I wish you wouldn't do that anymore."

Brandon shrugged. "I know. But we all have our vices. They don't all come in the shape of a short, cute brunette with legs for days."

"Did you really have to bring her up?"

"Do you really expect me to believe you're not already thinking about her?"

Quinn remained silent for a moment. It was the calm before the storm.

"Come on. The sooner we get this over with, the sooner we can go to In 'N Out for a burger. You lead the way, duchess."

Quinn nodded and opened the door. The silence disappeared into a frenzy of people cheering, flashes popping and hundreds of people calling Quinn's name.

\--

Two weeks later, Rachel found herself sitting in a movie theater with Brittany on her right and Santana on the other side of Brittany. She sat nervously as she looked around to see a nearly sold-out theater. She had no idea how she even got here. She knows it involved a lot of arm-twisting from Brittany and a few snide remarks from Santana. She must have been crazy to agree to such a masochistic outing. The time and the distance had not made this breakup any easier. Plus, the whole thing with Ashley kissing her only added to her confusion. Then, the Sweet Charity audition pretty much made her chaotic emotions turn into a volcanic fire-tornado trying to be doused by a hurricane. It's been an endless struggle and it didn't seem to be ending any time soon.

She was already fighting a losing battle, so why not give her heart a little bit of self-mutilation? She settled back in her seat and waited for the darkness that used to be her light. There was almost something beautiful in succumbing to it. Quinn was her fire and her rain. Her sadness and her happiness. Her pain and her passion. All Rachel could do was be caught in the middle of it all and hope that she came out of it alive.

Brittany was practically bouncing in her seat, unable to contain her excitement.

"Thank you for finally agreeing to see this with us, Rachel. I've been dying to see it since Quinn first told me about it."

Her voice wasn't exactly as low as it should be for a movie theater, but at least the previews hadn't started yet.

"I can't believe I'm doing this," muttered Rachel.

"Come on! It's a girls' night out. We're having fun."

"Yeah, until I see Quinn's face plastered on a 30-foot tall screen and have a meltdown."

Popcorn suddenly landed in her hair. She turned and gave a dirty look to Santana.

"Cut the crap, Berry. You know as well as I do that you wanted to see this but were too chicken shit to admit it. Brittany begging you to come with us was simply your excuse."

"I..."

"You miss her face. There's no shame in that. But there is shame in lying about it. Just be honest with yourself. You miss her. You miss her face, her smile, her eyes. You miss seeing her bouncy blonde hair bouncing up and down as she's riding you..."

"Santana!" Both Brittany and Rachel chastised her simultaneously. Santana simply three a few more pieces of popcorn at Rachel.

"What? It's true. You'll watch the movie. You'll get sad and nostalgic. You'll shed a tear. You'll go home and get yourself off while thinking about her. Just like you did in high school. You'll cry yourself to sleep and then wake up and realize that you two aren't together for a very important reason."

Rachel wanted to yell at Santana and beg her to shut up. She wanted to get up and leave in a huff. She wanted to smack Santana across the face and pour a bucket of that projectile popcorn over her head. But she couldn't. Because she was right. Rachel couldn't leave because she did miss Quinn and this was her only chance to really see her. She wouldn't be surprised if Santana knew that she fell asleep every night watching old episodes of Outside Hearts.

She kept quiet and tried to ignore the two girls suddenly making out right next to her. Brittany's popcorn almost spilled to the ground with Santana's force. It was sickening, but deep down, Rachel kind of enjoyed being in the presence of their beautiful relationship. It was very calming for her.

The lights went down and The Handsy Twins finally pried themselves apart to watch the trailers.

Brittany leaned over and whispered to Rachel. "I'm so excited! I love romantic comedies."

As the previews played, Rachel started panicking. It wasn't until now that she realized Quinn had loves scenes in this movie. That was SCENES. Multiple. She'd have to watch some douchey actor drape himself all over her. She couldn't take it. This was a mistake. A huge mistake. What was she thinking? She wasn't ready for this! She was about to get up and stumble over everyone in her row just to get out of here, when the movie finally started. And a close-up of Quinn's face was the first shot of the entire film.

Rachel sat there, unable to take her eyes off the screen. Suddenly, she forgot what she was even panicking about. She just watched as the camera slowly panned out to reveal Quinn's character on a bus reading a book. Rachel was immediately pulled in. She was invested now. Tears or no tears, panic attack or no panic attack, she was going to see this movie through to the very end. Quinn's face made it impossible for there to be any other outcome.

For the next two hours, Rachel was in an entirely different place. She couldn't really explain it, but she felt at peace. Finally.

By the end of the movie, Rachel was quite proud of herself. She didn't cry once. She even found herself laughing at some of the funny parts and couldn't help but beam with pride over how great Quinn did in the film.

"OMG, I loved it!" Brittany started clapping.

"Yeah, I'll admit it didn't suck," said Santana as she looked over at Rachel. "How did you hold up, basket case?"

Rachel was actually smiling at this point. "I really liked it. I didn't think I would, but I have to be honest, I haven't felt this...calm...in a really long time. Maybe all I did need was to see her face."

Before she could continue with her thoughts on the movie, a familiar song started playing during the closing credits. She knew those opening chords. She knew the melody. Knew exactly what the first lyric would be. Right then and there, it all came rushing back. She was a junior in high school again. Scared and confused and somewhat obsessed with the new girl in school. She was "Glee Club Rachel" with knee high socks and school girl skirts and a headband to round it all out. She was "High School Rachel," belting this song over and over again in order to impress the gorgeous blonde she had been partnered up with to sing it. The girl who was abandoned in the choir room when it became too difficult for Quinn to actually go through with the duet, before Rachel ever realized why. She was transported. Suddenly memories and flashes of Quinn were everywhere.

Rachel froze in her seat, then slowly turned to the screen to hear those lyrics there were burned into her brain by this point. And that was it. She made it through the entire movie and it's the song at the end credits that made start to tear up.

"This is my love song to you  
Let every woman know I'm yours  
So you can fall asleep each night, babe  
And know I'm dreaming of you more

You're always hoping that we make it  
You always want to keep my gaze  
Well you're the only one I see love  
And that's the one thing that won't change

I'll never stop trying  
I'll never stop watching as you leave  
I'll never stop losing my breath  
Every time I see you looking back at me  
And I'll never stop holding your hand  
I'll never stop opening your door  
I'll never stop choosing you babe  
I'll never get used to you

And with this love song to you  
It's not a momentary phase  
You are my life, I don't deserve you  
But you love me just the same  
And as the mirror says we're older  
I will not look the other way  
You are my life, my love, my only  
And that's the one thing that won't change

I'll never stop trying  
I'll never stop watching as you leave  
I'll never stop losing my breath  
Every time I see you looking back at me  
And I'll never stop holding your hand  
I'll never stop opening your door  
I'll never stop choosing you babe  
I'll never get used to you

You still get my heart racing  
You still get my heart racing for you  
You still get my heart racing  
You still get my heart racing  
For you"

The song ended as the credits faded and the lights in the theater came on.

Rachel turned to her friends with a stunned look on her face. It took her a moment to find the right words until she finally blurted them out.

"I think I made a huge mistake."

"What?"

"I have to go to LA."

"Berry..."

"Yeah!" Brittany interrupted. "Go! Go now! Let's do a last minute race to the airport! I love those!

"Whoa, Berry, slow down. I knew it was a mistake to bring you."

"No, Santana. It's exactly what I needed!" She started to get up. "Let's go to the airp-"

Rachel jolted at the vibration in her pocket. She pulled her phone out and examined the number for a minute. And then she answered the call that would forever change her life.

"Hello?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song at the end is "Never Stop" by Safetysuit


	33. As Long As You Want Me To

Quinn stared out the window, trying to decide if the clouds were indicating a storm or if they were just passing by. Los Angeles in the rain was never fun, but it would appropriately go along with the way she's been feeling. She knew a question had been posed to her, but she was so lost in her thoughts while staring at the gray sky, she simply forgot what she was even asked.

"Quinn?"

"Hmm?"

"I asked you a question. Do you think it would make a difference?"

Quinn looked back and shrugged.

"You don't know or you don't care?"

"Pick one."

"No. You pick one."

Quinn relented. "I don't know." She paused for a moment. "Ok, yes, it would make a difference for me in the long run. But I don't know if it would make a difference to her."

"Who cares if it makes a difference to her? You're the one who's here seeking help. You're the one whose life it affects."

Quinn hated all the good points Dr. Melnyk was making.

"But she also affects my life."

"See? Now this is a problem. You're so afraid of her reaction, you're not even thinking about what all this means for you." Dr. Melnyk put down her notepad and leaned forward. "Quinn, you've been coming to me for three months now. And you've made incredible progress. You went from not even being able to say the words 'I'm gay' to it being pretty much the only thing you talk about now."

"Well, you're legally not allowed to tell people, right?"

"Yes, we established that in the first, second, and fourth sessions. You've really come a long way. What I want to focus on now is what coming out would mean to you. Not what it would mean to the world. Or your parents or your fans or even Rachel. I'm afraid you put way too much emphasis on how other people will react, whether negatively or positively. You need to get out of the habit of putting others first. It's a good quality to have, but not when it affects your well-being."

Quinn nodded in agreement. Dr. Melnyk was right. She was learning a lot about herself by coming to therapy, but it certainly wasn't easy. Many sessions have ended with her in tears. But she was at a loss and needed help. A friend of hers recommended Dr. Melnyk, who was rumored to have a rather impressive list of celebrity clients. Apparently people in this industry were in need of a little mental help sometimes. Who knew?

"What are you afraid of, Quinn?"

She was asked that every single session and always refused to answer it. Partly because she didn't one hundred percent know the answer and partly because she was scared to even think about it.

Dr. Melnyk decided to go easy on her, knowing she simply wasn't ready to answer that yet.

"Okay. Well, have you heard from her?"

"No."

"How long has it been?"

"Well, I got that email I told you about after she saw the movie. And that's the last I heard from her. That's when I decided to start therapy, so I guess it was about three months ago."

"And that's when she told you that it was best to cut off all contact?"

Quinn sadly nodded. "I really thought she'd change her mind after seeing the movie, but...I was wrong. I mean, she said really thought about coming to see me, but thought it was best that I worked on myself for a while and asked that I respect her wishes to not contact her until she was ready to talk."

"And you're still respecting those wishes?"

"Except for those couple times I called you to talk me out of texting her, I've been doing very well. I refuse to even Google her name or check her Facebook. It hurts too much. I just wish there was a way I could tell her that I'm really trying."

"I'm sure she knows."

"Well, I asked my friend Brittany to tell her what's new with me, but she said she doesn't want to get in the middle. And Santana made her swear she wouldn't tell me how Rachel is."

"That's good. That means you can survive. You're surviving the breakup and you're making yourself better for yourself. That way, if at some point down the line, you two try to work things out, you'll be able to have all of yourself to give to her instead of just certain parts."

Quinn's eyes started to water thinking about the prospect of them getting back together.

"What's wrong with me? Why can't I just come out? Why can't I be who she needs me to be?" She wiped away a few stray tears.

"She doesn't need you to be who she needs you to be. She needs you to be who you need yourself to be. There's a big difference. Don't put so much pressure on yourself. You were raised to believe that homosexuality is wrong. You grew up in an industry where, until recently, things like that were covered up and never discussed. It's only natural to feel afraid to confront it. But that's why you're here."

Quinn managed to smile through her tears.

"I'm going to New York next month."

"You are?"

"Yeah. First time since I moved back here. I'm doing some promo work for the sequel to Ten Stories Down."

"What's the new one called again?"

"Down She Fell."

"Oh that's right. Clever."

"Yeah. It's good because that means Brandon will go with me. I'm also promoting that miniseries I was working on. I think they're going to try to push for an Emmy campaign."

"That's incredible news!"

"Yeah. They're pushing for the show and for me as supporting actress. I mean, it's early, but it would be amazing to be nominated. So it's important to do all these special screenings and Q and A's for the Academy and the critics."

"Well, I've heard great things about it."

"I'm proud of it."

"And are you going to be ok being in New York? I know it'll be hard for you."

"Yeah, it's going to pretty much suck. But Brandon will be there. He'll keep an eye on me and make sure I keep things strictly business and not try to contact Rachel at all."

"Well I'm glad you have a good support system."

"Don't be so confident. Brandon can be a flake so be prepared to get a middle-of-the-night phone call from me."

"Ok. Fair enough. But I'll have to charge you for after hours counseling."

Quinn chuckled. She'd pay it. Anything to keep her sanity while revisiting her painful past.

\--

Being back in New York was both nerve-racking and therapeutic. In a city of eight million people, she felt a little ridiculous expecting to turn a corner and run in to Rachel. Especially since she did all she could to avoid the places she knew Rachel frequented. But still, she couldn't help but hold her breath every time a short brunette appeared in her eye line. It was never her, but that didn't stop her heart from racing every time.

Thankfully, her schedule had been so jam packed, she didn't have a lot of time to mope or dwell. She would meet up with Brandon for a late dinner and then wake up and do more interviews, press lines and photo shoots.

Her last night in New York was the only evening she had off during her entire trip. Brandon offered to take her out and said he was going to force her to have fun. Quinn knew it was probably a bad idea, but she was tired of feeling sad all the time, so she agreed.

After dinner at his favorite trendy New York bistro, they hailed a cab and headed toward the West Village. When they reached their destination, Quinn got out and looked around until she finally found exactly where Brandon was taking her.

As the cab drove away, she looked back at Brandon.

"You're kidding, right?"

"What?"

"I am NOT going in there."

"I knew you'd react this way."

"Then why did you take me here if you knew I wouldn't go in?"

"Because you are going in. You'll bitch and moan and tell me there's not a chance in hell you'll set foot in there and I'll use my charming wit to change your mind and you'll end up caving like you always do because you love me and I love you and I promised I was going to make sure you have fun tonight."

Quinn stood in front of the giant sign that read "Beautiful Nude Girls - The Best in New York."

"I can't do it."

"Q, this place is extremely classy. I'm not taking you to some rundown, cheap, near-the-airport strip joint. These are very high class women who prefer to be called 'exotic dancers.'"

Quinn's palms started to sweat as she shook her head. "I still can't."

"I promise you, it's very high end. Every employee is required to sign non-disclosure agreements because a lot of well-known people come in here. Actors, athletes, politicians. If anyone says anything, they'll get fired."

"You know an awful lot about this place."

"I may have been here a time or two while traveling through New York."

Quinn took a deep breath. "You promise you won't ditch me?"

"I'll be by your side the entire night. I promise. Now come on. I didn't get all this cash out to make a drug deal."

"Are you sure about that?"

"Very funny. Come on."

He took her hand and led her to the front entrance. Quinn lowered her head the moment she stepped in. She wanted to turn invisible. She gripped Brandon's hand tighter. He reciprocated.

"Hey, it's gonna be okay," he assured her as he paid their hundred dollar cover fee.

She rubbed at the fresh stamp on her hand as they walked down the hall and entered the main room. It was dark, but the stage was well lit. She felt like everyone was staring at her but once she started looking around, she realized that couldn't be further from the truth. She almost felt kind of stupid assuming all heads would turn the minute she walked in. Everyone was focused solely on the dancers on stage. She felt a wave of relief when she even saw a few women enjoying the show.

Quinn found a table near the back and Brandon pulled a chair out for Quinn to sit down. She watched as he winked and waved at one of the girls who was standing near the bar. He started walking over there when Quinn grabbed his arm.

"Where do you think you're going?"

"...uh...to get drinks?"

Quinn shook her head. "You're not coming back, are you?"

He looked over at the girl once more, then back at Quinn. "I'll be five minutes. I promise. Then, the whole night I will be joined at your hip."

"You suck."

"Just relax. And enjoy the view."

Quinn was seething as she watched him walk away. She knew he would do this. She turned her focus to the stage as one of the dancers was in the midst of removing what was left of her clothing. Quinn immediately turned red and had to look away. She grinned to herself and couldn't remember a time when she felt more uncomfortable. Was she supposed to stare? If she looked away, was it rude? Or would it look like she was leering if she kept watching? She looked up every thirty seconds as a courtesy to the performers and once the song ended, she clapped along with everyone else.

She began to massage her temples and prayed that this night would just be over.

"Can I get you something to drink, sweetie?"

Quinn looked up and saw the waitress standing over her. She was provocatively dressed, no doubt in an effort to get tips. Unless this was the required uniform, which was very likely.

"Uh, yeah. Dr. Pepper?"

"Sure thing. I'll be right back."

She looked around to get a sense of her surroundings. Brandon was right. It was definitely more upscale than anything she had imagined or had seen in movies. Even most of the clientele appeared nicely dressed.

"Here's your Dr. Pepper. Let me know if you need anything else."

Quinn gave the waitress a twenty. "Thank you. Keep the change."

"Wow. Big tipper. The girls will like that," observed the waitress.

Quinn smiled and took a drink. She leaned back in her chair and finally started to allow herself to relax. It really wasn't so bad. No one seemed to know who she was, or if they did, they certainly didn't care. And who was she to pass up the opportunity to watch beautiful women dance in front of her? She was young and heartbroken. This was pretty much a rite of passage.

"Care for a dance, hun?" Once of the dancers seemed to appear out of nowhere and grazed her finger along Quinn's shoulder.

She immediately tensed up and swallowed hard, almost choking on her soda.

"Um..no thank you." Her voice squeaked.

The dancer shrugged and headed off, likely to find someone who wasn't such a spaz.

Brandon put another Dr. Pepper down in front of her.

"Did you seriously just turn her down?"

"I panicked."

"Quinn, come on. You don't want a private dance? I'll even buy you one. And none of this $20 for two minutes bullshit. I mean a real dance. In one of the back private rooms."

Quinn shook her head and took another sip. "I'm good. Really."

Brandon sighed heavily and rolled his eyes. "Suit yourself. Can we at least move up closer? We can barely see anything back here."

"Which means I'll barely be seen."

Brandon stood up, grabbed her arm and started pulling her closer to the stage.

"Come on. Up you get." He dragged her to a closer seat and sat her down. "You're going to enjoy this experience whether you like it or not."

Before he sat down to join her, the dancer that Quinn rejected earlier came up to whisper something in his ear.

"Hey, I'm gonna go get a dance. Are you going to be okay here?"

"You're leaving me again?"

"Just for a little bit. Relax." He pulled a wad of cash out of his wallet and put it on the table in front of her. "Have some fun. Go nuts. You need to get your mind off of her and I really can't think of a better way to do it."

Quinn conceded and finally nodded, giving him permission to go get his dance. Maybe he was right. Maybe this was exactly what she needed to get her mind off of Rachel. She reached out and thumbed through the stack of cash he left her. It was certainly enough for her to have the fun night he was hoping for her to have. She finished up the rest of her Dr. Pepper when the opening chords for "Out Tonight" from Rent began to play. Quinn smiled to herself. She knew the only person who would really appreciate a stripper dancing to that song was...

"Everybody, please welcome to the stage...Barbra!"

The announcer cut her off mid-thought and now she wanted to call Rachel and tell her there was an exotic dancer named Barbra dancing to Rent. She knew they would have a laugh over it. But she decided against it. Brandon brought her here to see some naked ladies dance and to get her mind off of Rachel. And damn it, she was going to do just that.

She turned her focus to the stage as Barbra came out dressed in a sheer black teddy with a black bra and underwear underneath. Quinn was too nervous to look directly at her, but her heart started pounding and her palms began to sweat as she watched those gorgeous legs move in ways she didn't know was possible. She swallowed hard. There was something off about this. Her throat went dry and she bit her lip as she moved her way up from Barbra's legs to her stomach as she slowly removed the teddy she was wearing, revealing her toned torso. Quinn leaned back in her chair. She knew that torso. She recognized the tiny mole to the left of her belly button. There was no way this was happening. There was no way.

Once she allowed her eyes to move up and see Barbra's face, she felt paralyzed. And yet, simultaneously turned on. This was the kind of feeling she only felt when she was in Rachel's presence. And sure enough, she was staring up at Rachel, herself, dancing to a cheering crowd to a song from one of her favorite musicals, under the guise of her idol, Barbra Streisand.

Quinn didn't blink. She's pretty sure she didn't even breathe. Her wide eyes watched as her past came face to face with her. Well, more like ass to face when Rachel turned around and did a move she's pretty sure she didn't know how to do when they were dating. Quinn didn't know whether to leave, keep watching or run up on stage to cover her up and carry her out the door.

She couldn't move. She was mesmerized, but confused and she didn't know how to feel about it. Guilty? Sad? Horny? Excited? Depressed? Upset? She felt all of those things. Why was Rachel here? They hadn't seen each other in eight months, and this is what she's doing now? And why hadn't Brittany told her? Did she not know? She knew living in New York was expensive, but she never dreamed this would be Rachel's fate. She deserved better. Way better.

But there was something to be said about Rachel's outfit...or rather, simply the lace bra and panties that adorned her. And the way she moved across the stage and around the pole. Like it was such a natural thing for her. Like she had been doing it all her life.

Here Quinn was, trying to forget her past, but her past was now half naked in front of her.

She wanted to protect Rachel's body from the prying eyes of the crowd. She wanted to punch every man who was hooting and hollering. Especially the ones behind her who were drunkenly yelling for her to "show those tits."

She never thought there would ever come a time where she was hoping to not see Rachel's breasts. But here she was, praying they would remain covered.

As the song was nearly over, Rachel crawled across the floor towards Quinn. This was the moment it happened. They locked eyes for a split second until Rachel looked away. Then she did a double take and was back to locking eyes with the blonde. Her mouth opened slightly and she stopped moving. It was intense, smoldering. They both took a moment to look each other up and down. Quinn felt as though she was being pulled toward her. She wanted to speak but before could say anything, the song ended. Rachel stood up, still in shock exited the stage as a new song came on and a new girl came out to dance.

Quinn only knew one thing. She had to go after her.


	34. When You Put Your Body On Top of Mine

Quinn jumped from her chair and made her way around to the other side where she saw Rachel disappear through a door. As soon as she approached the door, the waitress who served her stopped her.

"Oh hey honey, you can't go back there. Dancers only."

Quinn was jarred. She just wanted to get to Rachel.

"Oh. Okay. Umm..." She looked completely helpless.

"Can I help you with something?"

"That girl. The girl that was just on stage. I need to find her."

"She only comes out to dance. She should be on again in a half hour or so."

"No, I mean...I need to talk to her."

"We can't let people back there. I'm sorry."

"Well, what if...I mean...can I..." Quinn was desperate. "Can I pay? For her? I mean, not pay for her. Not like...I mean, can I pay? To like...see her? In a room?"

She was not very good at this.

The waitress smirked. "Well, Barbra doesn't do private dances. She has an arrangement with the manager."

"Oh. I really do know her, though. Can you maybe just ask?" She pulled out the cash Brandon gave her. "Tell her I'll make it worth her while. And yours."

She peeled off a hundred dollar bill and gave it to the waitress. Why couldn't she be this smooth a minute ago?

"I'll see what I can do."

"Tell her it's a special request from Emily Stark."

The waitress gave her a smile, dropped her tray off on the bar and headed through the door that Quinn so badly wanted to be on the other side of.

The waiting felt like agony. How long had it been? Twenty minutes? She looked at her phone. Oh...two minutes.

Finally, the waitress emerged and motioned for her to follow her though a different corridor. She led her to the last door on the right and opened the door for her.

Quinn entered, confused. There were couches, a table, a stereo, champagne on ice and music playing overhead.

"Wait, where's Ra...Barbra?"

"She'll be her in a minute. And she wanted me to tell you it would be five grand for half an hour.

"How much is it normally?"

"Five hundred. She said she knows you're good for it if you don't have all of it. Have fun."

She exited and Quinn stood in stunned silence. Part of her felt that Rachel was joking. The other part made her worry that she didn't have enough cash with her and was actually going to pay to talk to her ex-girlfriend.

She walked over to the couch and sat down, taking her sweater off in the process. The walls were painted with gold and silver flecks and the lighting moved from a dim red to purple, then back to red again. Quinn sat nervously, trying to rehearse what she was going to say to Rachel. She decided to put her sweater back on, so as not to appear too eager. But she was so nervous, she was almost sweating, so off it came again.

Suddenly, the music cut out and the door opened soon after that. Rachel stood in the doorway wearing the black sheer teddy she was wearing earlier. Quinn wanted to run up and hug her, but she didn't know exactly where they stood. So she didn't move. She didn't speak. She didn't even smile like she wanted to. She simply waited.

Rachel, in six-inch stilettos, walked over to turn on the stereo and started moving to the music.

Quinn leaned back and put the stack of cash on the table.

Rachel took that as a sign to come closer, still moving with the rhythm of the music. Quinn watched, addicted to each movement. It took every ounce of strength she had not to grab her and take her right then and there.

Rachel inched even closer and straddled Quinn. The brunette grinding on her was enough to snap her out of whatever dream she was in.

"Rach-"

Rachel brought her finger up to Quinn's lips to silence her.

"Rachel-"

"No. No talking." Rachel began to grind harder on Quinn as a way to get her to stop talking.

It usually worked, but Quinn wasn't having it this time.

"Rachel, stop. Please." She knew she'd regret the request, but she needed to find her sanity again.

Rachel stopped and scooted off of her.

"We've said that we needed to say, Quinn. Nothing's changed."

Quinn lowered her head. "I know. I just…I haven't seen you in so long and...now you're here?"

"So?"

Quinn thought it was best to change the subject.

"So you saw the movie?"

"What movie?"

"My movie. Chaos Theory. In your email, you told me you saw it."

Rachel relented. "Of course I did."

"And you stayed until the end, right?"

"I heard the song, Quinn. And I appreciate the gesture. Truly. Your secret message for your secret lover."

"Rachel-"

"Barbra," she corrected, then began moving seductively again and removed the teddy, tossing it to the floor. Now clad only in her bra and underwear, she straddled Quinn once more and arched her back. Quinn's hands were shaking as Rachel brought them up to support her lower back. Quinn's breath caught as she watched Rachel arch back even further.

"So," continued Rachel. "You got the director to drop that song into the credits?"

"Actually, I talked to the music supervisor and convinced her to do it. She loved the idea and the director trusts her taste." Quinn couldn't believe she hadn't passed out by now. Rachel had to feel her shaking hands and hear the crack in her voice. How was she able to even carry on such a casual conversation right now? There were so many questions and so many feelings and so much skin showing and so much touching going on. She didn't know what way was up.

Rachel pulled her body back up towards Quinn. Her breasts were inches away from her own.

"It was really sweet. It reminded me of that day. You know…in high school. I almost called you right after I heard it."

Quinn was very aware of how close in proximity they were. She could barely hold a coherent thought. Rachel shifted slightly and Quinn immediately felt how turned on she was just from Rachel's body on hers.

"Wh...why didn't you call?"

Rachel kept grinding and Quinn was slowly losing her mind.

"Things happened. Life kind of threw me a curveball. Besides, I didn't want to end up in the same situation just to have my heart broken again."

"Your heart broken?"

"Yes."

"You think I wasn't heartbroken?"

"I know you were. We both were. Let's just say, instead of calling, I got a wake-up call. I think it's best to focus on myself and what I'm doing."

"You're stripping."

"Dancing."

"Rachel, what are you doing here?"

"You don't like it?"

Of course she did. Quinn's inner voice was screaming at her to shut up and just enjoy what was happening. But her protective side over Rachel won out.

"You know what I mean. I don't see you for eight months. Last I knew, you were at NYADA and going on auditions. And now you're stripping? Rachel, you're so much better than this."

Rachel stopped once more and looked at Quinn.

"Quinn, don't you read the trades?"

"Yes...sometimes."

"I mean the theater trades." Rachel smiled sweetly. It was the first time Quinn felt calm in this situation.

"Oh. Not really."

"Well that explains your confusion."

Rachel slid her hands down and pulled Quinn's legs further apart, slowly settling between her thighs as she moved her hips seductively against her. Quinn was on fire. She moved her hands to Rachel's thighs and squeezed as hard as she could.

"Wh...what about the trades?" Quinn couldn't keep her voice from cracking.

She looked up at Rachel, whose eyes were closed. It was clear she was enjoying this just as much as Quinn was. She reached her hand up to cup Rachel's face. The brunette's eyes opened and locked with Quinn's for a moment. Quinn pulled Rachel's face down to connect with hers, but before their lips could meet, Rachel pulled away and paused her movements.

"We can't."

Quinn was gutted. "Why not?"

"Because we're still leading very different lives and we want different things."

'I only want you,' is what Quinn was dying to say. But she knew this wasn't the time for romance and true love confessions.

"What does that have to do with us kissing?"

"It'll just complicate things. There's obviously still heat between us. And I know there's still feelings between us. I just don't want anyone to get hurt."

"I'm a big girl. I won't get hurt."

Rachel smirked. "I didn't say you would be the one to get hurt."

Quinn looked up at her with so much longing, but she understood.

"Okay. No kissing. But...maybe you can keep doing what you were doing?"

She mentally berated herself for being so blatantly desperate, but she was so turned on, she didn't really care at this point.

Rachel obliged and Quinn's body went back to feeling euphoric.

"So why are you here...Barbra?"

Rachel relented. "Well, if you must know...I've been cast as the lead in the Broadway revival of Sweet Charity."

That news jostled Quinn out of her trance.

"What?" Quinn was dumbfounded. How had she not known this?

Rachel giggled. "I had a feeling you didn't know. But yeah. In four months I'll be starring in a Broadway show."

"Rachel, that's...wow. That's great! I knew it! I knew you'd make it. This is...but...wait, I still don't understand why you're here."

"Research. My director said it would be a good experience to do this for a couple weeks. Why do you think Stacy said I don't do private dances? Why do you think I didn't get nude on stage? I'm not an actual employee. They're doing me a favor. My director knows the manager here and they worked out a deal. Apparently his wife is a huge Broadway fan, so he gets free opening night tickets."

Quinn felt a massive wave of relief.

"I'm so proud of you. That's incredible. I mean, I knew you'd get there eventually, but the fact that it's official. It's just incredible. I just wish I had been there to help you celebrate the news."

"I kind of wish that, too."

"Research. So you're going the method route?"

"My director is a stickler for character accuracy. Apparently I was too stiff in all my dance rehearsals, so he set this up for me to do. Believe me, it took a lot of convincing. Charity Valentine is a seductive taxi dancer. And escort. Apparently I don't naturally give off those kinds of vibes."

Quinn was beyond confused at this point. Too many things were happening. Rachel was just on a stage dancing for strangers. Now she was straddling Quinn like she used to do when they were together. And in the middle of all this, Quinn felt like an idiot for not even knowing the love of her life was finally going to realize her Broadway dreams. It was too much to comprehend.

"So if you're not really a stripper, why did you put me through all this?"

"You think I wanted you to see me like this? I panicked, so I ran. But then I realized that you would just be left believing this was my fate and I couldn't have you thinking that." Rachel put her hands behind Quinn's neck and gently caressed her. "I honestly didn't know how to react when I saw you. I think I was scared. I don't trust myself when I'm around you. You're way too addictive. I guess I wanted to see you, but part of me is still mad at you."

Quinn sat in stunned silence, just listening to Rachel's words.

Rachel moved her face closer to Quinn's. Quinn could feel her breath and could nearly taste her lips as Rachel continued.

"When I ran off stage, I didn't know if I wanted you to come after me. And when Stacy came back to tell me you were asking for me, I still didn't know what I wanted to do. But I really missed you. And I wanted to see you and touch you without appearing desperate. I feel like maybe the only way can do this is and be with you without actually feeling any pain is by being someone else. And being here, feeling your skin, hearing your voice...I want this. I want you. But it's only for tonight. So we either do this with no personal words spoken, or it's nothing at all. Because I can't get hurt again, but goddamn it, I want you."

Quinn thought for moment. Was this actually happening? Was Rachel really here, on top of her? So physically close to her, yet so emotionally far away.

"I've been seeing a therapist. She's helping me come to terms with coming out."

Rachel nodded. Quinn wasn't sure, but she thought she saw her eyes well up.

"That's great, Quinn. I'm proud of you. I'm glad you're taking steps. You deserve it."

"I've also been-"

"I meant it, though," Rachel interrupted. "No talking or we don't do this."

"D...do what?"

Rachel finally closed the gap on their lips and Quinn tasted the one thing she had been missing all this time. It was beautiful and perfect. Those lips she had kissed a thousand times before somehow felt even softer and fuller and they fit so perfectly with hers. She immediately whimpered as Rachel pulled away.

"Are you in?"

Quinn knew this would be a bad idea. She would regret it in the morning when Rachel was once again no longer a part of her life. But she knew she couldn't say no to this. It had been too long. Way too long. So she took Rachel up on her offer and answered her with another kiss.

"So, if you're Barbra, then I want my money's worth."

Rachel nodded intently, then got up and turned around. Quinn was speechless as Rachel bent over to reveal her perfect ass. Quinn immediately felt a gush between her legs. She wanted to cry just staring at the perfection in front of her. Rachel then sat down on Quinn's lap facing away from her and began to methodically grind her ass between Quinn's thighs. Rachel reached her arm back and put her hand behind Quinn's neck, pulling her closer for more friction. Quinn's hands instinctively moved up from Rachel's hip, around to her stomach and up to cup her breasts. She heard Rachel gasp at the touch. Her hand massaged, squeezed and pinched uncontrollably until her fingers traced along the black bra straps and pulled each one down slowly until Rachel's breasts were finally exposed. She felt her nipples immediately harden the moment her hands found their way back.

Rachel kept sliding her body up and down Quinn's with one hand around her neck and the other on the blonde's thigh for balance.

Quinn worked Rachel's breasts to the point of Rachel moaning in ecstasy. It had been far too long since her hands had felt Rachel's skin and she refused to hesitate or take it slow. She had missed this. She had wanted this for so long.

Once she knew she had Rachel completely worked up, her hand moved its way down to Rachel's underwear, lingering outside only for a moment. Once her hand broke through the barrier and disappeared inside her underwear, she felt Rachel's whole body stiffen in preparation for what was about to happen. Quinn's whole body was buzzing. There was a ringing in her ears and she wasn't sure if it was the music or a result of the dizziness she felt.

Her fingers hovered between Rachel's thighs, feeling the heat and dying to feel the wetness they know had been stirred up. Her fingers slowly delved in and immediately, Quinn was home. Rachel arched her back and moaned loudly. They both knew this wasn't going to take very long. After a few long strokes and re-discovering the territory she hadn't visited in so long, Quinn went straight to work. Rachel was already trembling, her head leaning back on Quinn's chest.

"Fuck, Quinn." Those were the only words Rachel managed to get out before she came hard, falling apart in Quinn's arms.

Quinn held onto her as she trembled and nearly slid down off of Quinn's lap. Quinn pulled her back up and turned her around, kissing her once more and refusing to let her catch her breath. She lowered Rachel to the couch and hovered over her. She planted kisses along her abdomen and dragged her tongue along the side of her stomach.

Rachel flinched and giggled.

Quinn looked at her and bit her lip. "Does that tickle?"

Rachel nodded. "A little."

Quinn smiled. "Good." She went back to doing the exact thing that made Rachel giggle. She liked having that kind of control over her.

Soon she kissed her way down further until she reached the hem of Rachel's underwear. She immediately pulled them off, not even stopping to ask for permission.

Rachel started to protest. "Quinn-"

"Shhhh...no talking."

Rachel nodded and closed her eyes.

Quinn only took a brief moment to take in the sight and scent before her before her tongue plunged in, tasting everything she had stirred up within Rachel. Her sense memory kicked in. Suddenly, she was back in Rachel's old bedroom, sneakily making love while her dads were just one room over. She was in the hotel room in LA where the bed became their sanctuary and no one else existed. She was in their bed, in their New York apartment, taking in the feel of her skin, the taste of her lips, the sound of her moans.

Her tongue pushed harder, deeper into Rachel as all these memories came flooding back. And poor Rachel never stood a chance. Quinn knew she was teetering on the edge once more. It made her feel almost relieved. Maybe, just maybe it meant that Rachel hadn't been with anyone else since they had broken up. She could only hope that was the case, though she knew she had no claim over her or her body. Not anymore. But dammit, she was going to make Rachel remember just how good they were together. Even if it was just for one night.

She could feel Rachel's clit begin to swell. She always knew that was a sign that she was close. Just a few more passes with her tongue and she would hear those amazing noises come from Rachel once more. She added more pressure, flicking her tongue in the place she knew would drive Rachel wild. Soon, the brunette began to shake uncontrollably and Quinn braced herself.

Rachel brought her arm up to bite on it in order to muffle the sound of her screams. With her other hand, she grabbed Quinn's head and pulled her further into her, mumbling incoherently about wanting "more...harder...God please...don't stop."

And then Rachel came for the second time.

Once calmness had been restored and her body stopped shaking, Rachel, sighed deeply, still stroking Quinn's hair.

They lay there in silence, Quinn's head resting on Rachel's stomach. The breathed together, the sweat from their bodies slowly drying.

Rachel couldn't fight the smile on her face. She patted Quinn on the head.

"You are REALLY good at that."

Quinn smiled. "I know."

Rachel motioned for her to come closer.

"Come here."

Quinn crawled her way up Rachel's body until their faces where just inches apart.

"I need to be inside you," whispered Rachel.

And before Quinn even knew what that meant, Rachel had unzipped her pants and immediately started touching her where she ached the most. Quinn let out a combination of a cough, a choke and a moan, she was caught so off guard, but it felt so incredible to finally be touched by the love of her life once more. Those fingers who knew her so well, the ones who knew how her body reacted to certain things were working their magic once more and Quinn was so turned on by this point, she knew she wasn't going to last any long than Rachel had.

Rachel's fingers delved even deeper as Quinn started moving her hips, practically humping Rachel's hand. She wanted more, but she knew it would never be enough. Her body was on fire, her brain was fried and her heart felt whole once again, yet she knew it would be all too brief. Because, as Rachel said, it was only for tonight.

She leaned down and kissed Rachel with everything she had. Rachel was so deep inside her, her lips were on hers, their bodies were writhing together and Quinn felt so full. Full of Rachel, full of everything she had been missing all this time. And it finally became too much.

She came with a shudder, a long moan, and the sound of Rachel's name on her lips. She held back the tears that were trying to sneak out. She refused to let Rachel see her cry. This was just sex, damn it. At least to Rachel it was. She could cry when she got back to the hotel. Then on the plane home. Then for the next fifty years of her life.

She collapsed on top of Rachel, breathing heavily.

After a few moments of silence, she gazed at her ex-girlfriend.

"I don't really know what to say."

Rachel shrugged. "Don't say anything."

"I miss you."

Rachel nodded. "I know." She started to move. "I should really go."

"Rach-"

"Quinn, it's time. I have to go. Drawing this out is only going to make it harder." Rachel sat up and started fixing her hair and putting on her underwear. She walked over to collect the teddy that had been shed earlier.

Quinn watched as she walked toward the door.

"Do you miss me?"

Rachel didn't turn around, but she did pause for a moment before answering.

"Every day."

Then, she walked out and Quinn didn't know whether to celebrate that small victory or to consider it a defeat. But she did know that with those two words from Rachel, it wasn't over. And maybe that was enough for now.


	35. Shut Up and Dance With Me

Quinn's foot tapped nervously on the floor. She was having what they call in the therapy world, a "breakthrough." She couldn't seem to stop herself from talking. Usually it was her therapist that kept the conversation going, but Quinn only had an hour long session and she wasn't about to waste a minute of it. She was too excited.

"So basically, I'll be seeing her again soon. I'm going back to New York for a wedding."

"Whose wedding?"

"My friends Brittany and Santana are getting married. I'm actually Brittany's maid of honor...at least I think I am. She asked me while I was half asleep. And she informed me that Rachel is Santana's maid of honor. It's all happening so fast. I got a call from Brittany at 3am the other night saying that Santana proposed to her at their favorite spot in Central Park. And being the impulsive people they are, their need for immediate gratification led them to decide to get married in two weeks. I don't even have time to throw Brittany a shower or a bachelorette party, but from what I understand, Santana doesn't want her to have one. According to Brittany, Santana said she'd give her her own private bachelorette party and give her as many lap dances as she wanted."

This comment was followed by silence.

"Yes, you're welcome. I know you were dying to hear about their sex life."

Her therapist chuckled. "Are you nervous?"

"No, I'm actually glad to see them get married. They belong together. And I was kind of around near the beginning of their relationship, so it's nice to see they'll get their happily ever after. Whatever it is that they have between them, it totally works."

"Well, that's great, but I meant are you nervous to see Rachel?"

Quinn's foot tapping became even more apparent as she searched for an answer.

"Oh. Well, yeah. Of course. I haven't seen her since...well, I told you about our last encounter."

"Ah yes. The dance club incident. How's your relationship now?"

"We text occasionally. Mainly about the wedding. I think she's not looking forward to their honeymoon phase because they decided they're going to keep living with Rachel until they can save up to get their own place. They can't go back to living in a studio after being spoiled with a spacious two-bedroom."

"So you two have established a sort of friendship?"

"We're friendly, yes. I guess that's the best way to put it. And I definitely plan on seeing her Broadway debut. I'm not sure if I'll tell her I'm going. But I know I definitely have to be there. Even if it's just as an anonymous audience member.

"Why don't you tell her?"

"I don't want her to think I'm stalking her."

"If you're friendly with her, then it's not really stalking."

Quinn shrugged. "I guess I don't want her to think I'm trying to win her back."

"But don't you want her back?"

"Yes, but...what if she doesn't want me back? I've worked so hard and if I find out she's moved on or doesn't want to work things out, I'd be devastated."

"So you'd rather just not know and live in the dark?"

Quinn remained silent.

"Isn't that what you've been doing your whole life? Isn't that why you've been coming to see me? So you can stop living in the dark?"

"That's not fair."

"A lot of things aren't fair. What are you afraid of, Quinn?"

"I don't know."

"I think you do. Why don't you tell Rachel about all the progress you're making? I'm sure she'd like to know."

"I've told her a little. I told her I'm seeing a therapist."

"Great. Are you going to tell her what you told me about earlier?"

"What? About my decision to come out to my manager and agent?"

"Yes."

"I don't want to bombard her. Won't that come off as needy?"

"Maybe. But we've been working on this. You're doing so well in not caring what other people think."

"What if I don't end up telling them? What if I chicken out again?"

"Then I'm going to ask you once again: what are you afraid of?"

"I don't know!" Quinn was starting to get frustrated.

"Yes you do. You just need to verbalize it. What are you afraid of?"

Quinn could see the thoughts swirling around in her brain. She tried to grab hold of each word as it came across and form a coherent sentence. But it was taking too long.

"Quinn, what are you afraid of? You're my last session of the day. I have no problems working overtime. Just say the words. Not to me. Just say them out loud. So you can hear it for yourself. What are you afraid of?"

Quinn could feel the tears well up in her eyes. She was beyond frustrated. She was tired and wanted to go home and curl up in bed. God damn it, what was it? What was she afraid of?

"I'm afraid I'll end up alone!" Quinn took a deep breath and let those words sink in before she continued. "I'm afraid I'll lose everything. Fuck, I wanted to come out when I was fifteen and I lost my girlfriend because of it. Then, when I came out to my parents, I lost them. If I come out to my team, I know it's going to cause a shit storm and I'll end up having to fire them. Or they'll fire me. Either way, I'm going to lose them. I'm going to end up losing everyone in my life."

"But you lost Rachel by NOT coming out. And as a result, you lost your other friends in New York. You lost the people who matter. The people who love you for who you are. The people who embrace the real you. Those are the ones worth keeping in your life."

Quinn was sobbing by this point. She was a blubbering mess.

"You're right," she conceded in a whisper. "My God, you're right. But what if I come out and it's still too late for Rachel? I caused her so much pain."

Quinn reached for a tissue.

"Once again, you're putting someone else ahead of your own happiness and you're too concerned with how other people will feel."

"I know, but I'll always put Rachel ahead of me. That's something that will never change. What if I come out and she still doesn't want me? I'll have lost everything."

"But you'll have found yourself."

Quinn dabbed her eyes and blew her nose. Then, she felt herself smile.

"That's actually kind of beautiful."

"I'm pretty insightful. Besides, isn't Rachel worth taking that chance?"

Quinn thought for a moment. "Wow. I've been beyond stupid."

\--

The following week, Quinn met with her agent, her manager, and her publicist. It was rare for all three of them to be in the same office, but when Quinn walked through her agent's door, she was bombarded by all of them.

"Where the hell have you been?"

"We've been trying to call you since early this morning!"

"Have you forgotten what today is?"

Quinn thought for a moment, then she realized. She had been so caught up in what she was going to tell them, that she completely forgot it was Emmy nomination day.

"I guess I forgot." Quinn tried to read their faces. "Good news or bad news?"

Her publicist put an arm around her shoulder. "Well, the mini-series got nominated. So you are officially in an Emmy nominated project. And let's see, there was something else I was going to tell you. Oh yeah. YOU got nominated, too!"

"Seriously?" Quinn's nerves soon faded and turned to excitement. "I'm nominated?"

"Best Actress in a Drama Series," exclaimed her agent.

"Holy shit." Quinn was stunned. A part of her had always fantasized about being nominated, but she never allowed herself to really think about it because she never really thought she was good enough.

She suddenly remembered her phone had vibrated earlier with a text she hadn't read yet. She pulled her phone out of her pocket and read it.

It was from Rachel: "I just heard the news! Well, that's a lie. I woke up at 8am and kept refreshing the Emmy website until they posted the nominees. Congratulations, Quinn. You deserve it. I'm so proud of you. Guess I'll see you next week at the wedding. We'll have some champagne in honor of your nomination."

Quinn felt a pang in her chest and suddenly longed for more than just a champagne toast to celebrate. She wanted Rachel's lips planted on hers in a celebratory kiss. And maybe some hand stuff. Definitely some hand stuff. Perhaps as a result of all the champagne they will imbibe while celebrating.

Quinn was letting her imagination run wild once again. But Rachel's text suddenly reminded her of why she wanted to meet with her team in the first place.

"This is amazing. Absolutely amazing." She turned to her publicist. "I really couldn't have done it without you. You definitely know how to run an Emmy campaign."

"Well, we're not there yet. Not until your name is read as the winner."

Quinn nodded. "Have a seat. All of you. We need to discuss a few things."

Quinn took a deep breath and began to explain exactly why she set up this meeting. During most of her speech, it almost didn't even feel like it was her that was talking. It felt like someone else. She articulated her feelings and her fears and her plans so perfectly, it was like she had rehearsed it and was delivering a heartfelt monologue. In reality, she came in completely unsure of what she was going to say. She tried not to look at any of them in the eyes. She was too scared of what she would see. Disgust, disappointment, frustration. So she just kept on talking until there was nothing left to say.

She finished with a very emphatic bottom line: "I'm gay. I've been gay since I can remember. And it's time that you knew."

They all stared at her as if she wasn't finished with her speech. After a moment, her agent was the first to respond.

"Yeah, honey we know. We've known forever."

Quinn wasn't exactly surprised at this response since she wasn't exactly discrete about everything. Especially during the whole Kasey Tipton fiasco. But she was hoping for maybe a little more fanfare.

"Well good. Now we can discuss it. Now that it's out in the open," she said as she took a seat.

Her publicist chimed in. "Quinn, there's nothing to discuss."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, it's not up for discussion. You're gay and that's fine, but let's just leave it at that."

Quinn was a bit confused. "So no strategy or comments or statements?"

"No. There won't be any of that because no one else will know."

"What?"

Quinn's manager decided to take over. "We think it's best if you just keep on doing what you're doing. It's working. You just got nominated for an Emmy, you've got three new films lined up, everybody wants you. Right now isn't the time for controversy."

"How is this controversy? It's my life."

"Quinn, I'm going to put it to you as simply as possible. Your fan base will dwindle. The bible belt of America will boycott against all your movies and all the fanboys who are drooling over you will find someone hotter and straighter to lust after. Your career will be over before it really even began."

Quinn could feel her jaw tighten. She was livid. "Look, I'm not suggesting I announce it to the world. I'm just saying that if I'm seeing someone, I'm not going to deny it and I'm not going to hide it."

Her publicist was getting increasingly upset. "Is this about that Rachel girl? Because that was a PR nightmare, Quinn. And you two living together in New York? Do you know how hard I worked to keep those rumors away?"

"I never asked you to do that."

"No, but you should be thankful I did. Times may have changed and people are more evolved, but Hollywood is still Hollywood. There's still a stigma when it comes to homosexuality. And it has ruined a lot of careers."

"Is that all you care about? What about my sanity? My well being?" Quinn was angrily pacing back and forth.

"We're just looking out for you. Could you imagine if Rock Hudson came out in the 1950's? His career would have been dead. That's why they paired him with Doris Day. It quelled a lot of rumors. His career was intact and the studios made their money. Everybody won. Women wanted him. Do you think he would have been famous if those women knew he was gay? No. His female fans would rather think he was taken by Doris Day than by his young, strapping 'assistant.' His masculinity is what made women want to fuck him."

Quinn was near tears at this point, but she fought them back. She was dead tired of crying, especially over this topic. She closed her eyes and composed herself before finally telling them exactly what was on her mind.

"See, that's the problem. It's not the 1950's." She walked over towards the door and looked at them one last time before walking out. "And I'd much rather fuck Doris Day. You're all fired."

\--

Rachel gripped her bouquet tightly, almost to the point of breaking the stems of the lavender and white flowers. She paced back and forth, tugging at her navy blue bridesmaid dress. She kept looking over at the door, but it continued to remain closed. She had been in the bridal prep room with Santana for over an hour helping her get ready. Santana had been obsessing in front of the mirror for the last fifteen minutes, trying to get her makeup right until she finally caught a glimpse of Rachel in the reflection.

"Berry, will you calm down? You're making me nervous. You're supposed to keep ME calm, not the other way around. You're not the one about to devote her life to one person for all eternity."

"Like you ever even remotely considered anyone but Brittany," remarked Rachel, as she stopped her pacing and gave herself a makeup check in the mirror.

"That may be true, but it also means you and I will never consummate our sexually charged friendship. You know you're going to weep just a little bit knowing you can never have me."

"Somehow, I'll survive." Rachel reapplied her lipstick and glanced over at the door once more.

"She's here," offered Santana.

"Who?"

"The girl you're hoping will come bursting through that door. I got a text from Brittany. Quinn is there helping her get ready."

"Oh."

Santana looked at her for a moment. "Well, I'm all done here. Would you mind going to check on my lovely bride-to-be? I would greatly appreciate it."

Rachel scoffed. "You don't need to give me an excuse to go see her."

"Yes I do. Otherwise you won't do it."

Rachel found herself stalling. She really hated when Santana was right.

Santana rolled her eyes. "Look, if you're not going to see Quinn, then go mingle with the guests. A lot of the old glee club is out there. I'm sure you'll want to say hi."

"You want me to leave you all alone? You're not planning on climbing out the window, are you?"

"There is no chance of that happening. I know how lucky I am. I just need a few minutes alone to go over my vows. I don't want anyone to hear me."

"It's your wedding day, Santana. You're allowed to be vulnerable."

"Berry, I'm already going to cry during the ceremony. I refuse to let you see me cry twice in one day."

"Okay, I'll go mingle. See you in bit, Bridezilla."

Rachel left the room and looked down the hall toward the room where Brittany was getting ready. She waited out in the hall for a few minutes just to see if she could "casually" run in to Quinn, but at the same time, she had no idea what to say to her. They were on somewhat friendly terms, exchanging a friendly text every once in a while or emailing an article the other would like, but that was the extent of their contact. She hadn't seen Quinn since she embarrassed the hell out of herself by giving her a lap dance. Though, she wasn't all that disappointed in the way that night turned out. Unfortunately, it reminded Rachel of exactly what she was missing. Not just the sex, even though it's always nothing short of mind-blowing, but Quinn in general. Her face, her voice, lips, her tongue, her hair, her hands. They all consumed her that night leaving her more conflicted than she's felt in a long time.

She broke up with Quinn for a reason. A very good, very important reason. But now, she was beginning to wonder if it was the right decision. Of course it was. Absolutely. But, was it really? Yes, yes it was. But, was it?

She was tired in her head and tired in her heart. How was it that being with Quinn would be the best thing for her, and yet also the worst thing? It wasn't fair.

Before she could fully weight the fairness of the situation, she felt a presence in the hall. Suddenly, she knew she wasn't the only one there. And she knew exactly who else was occupying the area.

She turned and felt a very familiar reaction come over her. After all these years, she never grew tired of Quinn Fabray taking her breath away. There she was, once again, completely flawless. She was wearing the exact same dress as Rachel, but somehow it fell perfectly on her body. It fit in all the right places and Rachel was slightly jealous. Quinn was always the most beautiful girl in the room and the most beautiful thing about her was that she never really knew it. Or if she did know it, she certainly didn't care.

They stood in silence, look each other over, like they were both trying to make sure this wasn't a dream. Quinn smiled motioned with her head to meet her outside. Rachel followed her out the side door and was met with the waning light of the late Saturday afternoon.

Quinn turned around to face her and Rachel could feel her legs shaking.

Quinn smiled. "You look beautiful. Absolutely stunning. Am I allowed to tell you that?"

Rachel nodded, unsure of what to say.

"How did I ever get anything done when we were together? You are simply too beautiful not to give all my attention to."

So this was how it was going to be. Quinn was going to flirt. Mercilessly. Well, Rachel could play this game.

"You too," her voice cracked. Damn it.

"Me too, what?"

"Beautiful. I mean, your looks. Your looks are...you're...pretty."

Damn. Damn. Damn.

Quinn let out a genuine laugh. "Well, that certainly broke the tension."

Rachel could feel herself turning red. "Well, what do you expect? The last time you saw me, I was half naked on a stage."

"Um, you were more like ninety percent naked, but I see your point. There's no reason to be nervous."

"You're not nervous?"

"Me? Oh yes. I'm insanely nervous. I've peed like five times in the last half hour. But you have no need to be nervous." She walked up to Rachel and brought her hand up to her face. "You're perfect."

Rachel closed her eyes as Quinn leaned over and kissed her on the cheek.

"Rachel?"

"Yeah?"

"Can I hug you?"

Rachel couldn't hide her smile. "Yes, please."

Quinn wasted no time in pulling Rachel in for a hug. Rachel attached herself to Quinn's torso, her hands grasping her back, trying to hold on to the flimsy material of the dress. Everything came rushing back: the way Quinn held her, her intoxicating scent, the way she could feel strands of her hair move with every breath she exhaled, the way their arms fit so perfectly around each other. She didn't think anything could possibly make her let go.

That is until she saw a flash and heard the snap of a camera right next to her. Rachel pulled away as soon as she realized what was happening.

"Quinn, what are you doing back in New York?" The paparazzo kept snapping pictures and bombarding her with questions. "Are you really a bridesmaid in your lesbian friends' wedding?"

Rachel pulled Quinn back inside and slammed the door in the photographer's face.

"Quinn, I'm so sorry. I had no idea he was there."

Quinn shrugged. "It's okay. There are worse things in the world than being photographed with a beautiful woman."

Rachel wasn't expecting that response.

"So you don't mind that there's a photo of you hugging me at a lesbian wedding?"

"No."

Rachel smiled. She was loving this side of Quinn. "Wow. That therapy is really doing you some good, isn't it?"

Quinn smiled. "It is. In fact..." She took Rachel's hand. "I've made quite a few other changes."

Rachel could feel the nerves in her stomach. God, she missed holding Quinn's hand. She watched Quinn's mouth as the words came pouring out.

"I know that we broke up for a reason. I know that it was because I wasn't ready to be who you needed me to be. Or who I needed myself to be." She gripped Rachel's hand tighter. "I think I'm ready. I'm ready to be that girl and I want to work things out. I've missed you so much. And I know I have a long way to go to repair all the damage that's been done, but I'm willing to do what it takes. I want to get back together. Please, please say you want the same thing."

Rachel had no idea the conversation was going to take this turn. Quinn's words were still hanging in the air and she was trying to make sense of all of them. Did she really just hear that? If so, what does it mean? Does she have to make a decision right now? Where's Santana when she needed her? Oh yeah, getting married. Married! They're at a wedding. Why was it suddenly so hot in this corridor?

Rachel opened her mouth to speak, but was cut off by a very familiar voice behind her.

"Well if it isn't Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray. McKinley's most famous alums."

Rachel turned around to see Kurt Hummel in all his posh glory. Not much had changed about him except he had grown a couple inches and had some muscles where his scrawny arms used to be. But he was still as fashionable and fabulous as he was back in high school.

"Kurt!" Rachel raced over to hug him and Quinn followed suit.

They greeted him so excitedly, they almost didn't see Blaine follow him in from outside.

"Ladies," he greeted each of them with a kiss.

"How's life in Chicago?" Rachel was thankful for the interruption and change of subject.

"Windy. Cold. Expensive. But the theatre life out there is grand. You'll have to come visit!" The inflection in Kurt's voice made Rachel know he really meant it and it wasn't just a 'we should hang some time. We'll set it up on Facebook' kind of thing. And that made her really happy. She forgot how much she missed her old friends.

She looked over at Quinn.

...and how much she missed old girlfriends.

"Well, I hate to break this up, but we better get inside if we're gonna get a decent seat," said Blaine. "We'll talk more at the reception. Bye!"

They waved as they headed into the banquet hall.

Quinn and Rachel looked back at each other.

"So," continued Quinn. "Where were we?"

Rachel was torn. This wasn't something she could just answer straight away. Why hadn't she prepared more for this moment? Probably because she was so focused on never thinking about Quinn and refused to entertain the idea of them ever getting back together. Because hope was almost too beautiful a thing. And hope would surely mean disappointment if it were to never happen.

"Quinn..."

"Alright bitches! Let's go get me married!" Santana burst from the room as if today was all about her. Oh yeah...it was. Rachel had almost forgotten.

Rachel ran to Santana's side. "All right, let me cue the music." She peeked her head out and nodded to the dj. As the music started, she looked at Santana. "You looking absolutely beautiful."

"Duh. Though I'm sure not half as beautiful as Brittany looks. I can't wait to see her!"

"Well, let's get to it." Rachel walked over to Quinn. "We'll talk about this after. Go get Brittany and let's get them married."

Quinn smiled sweetly, nodded, and headed over to Brittany's holding area.

Rachel gave Santana a final once-over, making sure she looked perfect.

"Let's go make Brittany your wife." She offered her arm to Santana, who slid her arm through Rachel's and they walked down the aisle together.

At the end of the aisle, she took her place next to Santana on the stage and watched as all eyes now turned to see Brittany walking down the aisle being escorted by Quinn. She watched Santana's face light up the moment Brittany came into view. And in that moment, she couldn't hold back her emotions and she began to cry. Mostly, it was tears of joy from seeing her friends so happy. Partly, it's because Quinn was walking down the aisle toward her, but it was for someone else's wedding.

Why was she so stupid to think she was over her? Why was she so convinced that having sex with her one last time would just get her out of her system? All it did was make her want her more. Why had she been in denial for so long? She made the right decision in ending it. She was sure of it. But maybe she was wrong to completely oust Quinn from her life. Quinn was a part of her and for too long, there's been an emptiness inside her. And watching her now, slowly walking toward her, perfectly balanced on her high heels, Rachel wanted to reach out her hand and pull her toward her. Just to tell her that all was forgiven. Was she ready to let it all go and jump back into this? No. There had been too much hurt and too much of Quinn denying Rachel. But she was ready to accept Quinn back in her life. Even if just as a friend.

The entire ceremony was kind of a blur. Rachel found herself constantly glancing over at Quinn and, sure enough, every single time, Quinn was looking right back at her. They even snuck in a couple secret smiles between them, but Rachel was always the first to look away.

Rachel forced herself to focus on the brides when they were exchanging their vows, but it only made her start to tear up again. She couldn't help but think that she got to witness the beginning of their relationship. Back when they were sneaking into janitor closets and holding hands under their letterman jackets.

She looked out at the crowd. It was like they were back in high school, with the majority of the glee club there to witness the event. She even noticed Mr. Schue's curly hair and Sam's trouty mouth. She laughed to herself thinking that this would be the perfect time to break out into song. But Santana insisted on this being a classy affair.

"No singing until the reception," she insisted. "That means you, Berry!"

So she remained silent, trying her best not to burst out into an Ed Sheeran song. As they exchanged rings, Rachel found her eyes wandering over to Quinn once more. For once, Quinn was focused on the ceremony, watching the former cheerios commit to each other for the rest of their lives.

What was it about weddings that really made you evaluate everything in your life?

\--

Once the bridal party photos were all finished, the girls made their way back into the banquet hall for some much needed food and rest. They caught up with old friends and the whole glee club even sang along to a rendition of Paradise by the Dashboard Light, an obvious favorite among the group. Rachel loved the nostalgia she was experiencing. And when AC/DC's You Shook Me (All Night Long) came on, everyone ran to the dance floor - Rachel and Quinn included. They danced hard, they danced fast and they danced like no one was watching, even though everyone was. Every jump, every hand thrown in the air, every time Rachel took Quinn's hand to spin her around during the raucous song. It was like they were the only two people there.

That was short-lived, however when the music slowed down and people either exited the dance floor or partnered up for a romantic dance. Quinn and Rachel stood there, not quite knowing what to do.

For once, Quinn couldn't look Rachel in the eye, so the brunette decided to break the ice and pulled Quinn into her.

"I'd say you owe me a dance. You know...since I danced for you last time."

What was she saying? Wow, that was mighty bold for one Miss Rachel Berry. But she said it and couldn't take it back. Seeing the embarrassed blush on Quinn's face made it all worth it.

Quinn was still having trouble looking her in the eyes, so Rachel made it easy for her. She looked up at her and smiled.

"It's okay, Quinn. You can look at me."

"If I do, then I'll be tempted to bring up the conversation we had earlier."

"Maybe that's okay-"

"I fired my team," Quinn blurted out.

"What?"

"My agent, manager, publicist. I fired all of them. They didn't want to support my decision to come out, so I fired them."

Rachel was stunned. "Oh wow. Quinn, that's great. That's really so great. But...don't you need them? You have the Emmy campaign. I mean I have no doubt you'll win, but can't they like...blacklist you or something?"

Rachel found herself panicking. She wanted so badly for Quinn to come out, but now faced with the reality, she was finally starting to understand that it could jeopardize her career.

"I think it'll be okay."

"How do you know?"

"I've been in New York a few days already. I've met with some people out here who have been very receptive to my situation. Some of them are actually very excited to work with me, regardless of my sexuality."

"They obviously know they have a superstar on their hands and would be stupid to let you go."

Quinn pulled Rachel closer. Their faces only inches apart. Rachel felt herself go stiff, then completely limp in Quinn's arms.

"Rachel..."

"That's really great. You need people backing you who believe in you and care about who you really are."

"Rach..."

Quinn's breath against her face was almost too much for Rachel. There was no way she was to get out of this alive.

"I'm so proud of you, Quinn."

Quinn whispered once more as she brought her lips closer to Rachel's.

"Rach...please."

Rachel closed her eyes. Was this really happening? She could feel Quinn's lips inching closer and wanted to badly to greet them with her own, but something was holding her back. She opened her eyes and lowered her head, denying Quinn what she wanted. Rachel wanted it, too, but she didn't know if all this made up for how much Quinn hurt her.

"Quinn."

Quinn sighed, her crackling voice barely above a whisper. "I'm not going to like what's coming next, am I?"

"I wish I was okay with all of this. I really am so proud of all the strides you've made and I want you to keep at it. I just...it took a lot out of me. How do I know you won't go back to how it was before? Hiding our relationship and denying who I really am to you?"

"I won't. I wouldn't. I really have come so far. I promise."

"I know you have. I just...I think I need more time."

"How much more time?"

Rachel shrugged. "That's not something I can really answer."

Quinn slowed her movements down until she was standing completely still. They were still locked in an embrace as the music blared from the speakers.

"What do I need to do? I'll do anything. Just name it and I'll do it."

Rachel tried to swallow the baseball-sized lump in her throat. She wasn't going to cry. Not now. She had to be strong. She could fall apart later tonight in her bed.

"I don't know, Quinn. For now, can we just keep dancing? I don't think I have any other answer. I think all you and I can do right now is keep dancing."

She could feel Quinn's entire body go lifeless for a moment. She could swear she heard a few muffled sobs coming from the blonde, but Quinn quickly recovered, pulled Rachel even closer to her and kept dancing.

"Okay. I can do that," said Quinn. "We'll just keep dancing."


	36. Hello From the Other Side

A month had passed since Santana and Brittany's wedding. The two were settling in to their honeymoon phase just fine. In fact, it was a little too fine. Rachel had to start listening to her iPod at night just to drown out the sounds from their room. She had no idea why she agreed to let them keep living with her after they were married, but she understood they wanted to save up money to get their own place. They were even still saving up for their honeymoon. Rachel couldn't wait to welcome that peace and quiet whenever it would come. It wasn't exactly fair that she was the only one in the apartment who wasn't getting laid. She was just thankful she had somewhere to go and something to occupy her time far away from the very loud sex for most hours of the day.

Rachel was deep into rehearsals for Sweet Charity. As the lead, she was always the first one there and the last one to leave. She was completely immersed in the music, the dancing, the character and was already obsessed and in love with the feeling of working on and starring in a Broadway musical. It really was everything she dreamed it would be. She just couldn't wait until they opened and she could perform in front of thousands of people every single night. Her fellow cast mates were so much fun to be around and that made the long, grueling days completely worth it. Everything seemed to be looking up and going her way.

She even kept a line of communication open with Quinn after the wedding. They texted daily and talked on the phone a few times a week. They emailed and Facebooked and kept each other in the know of what each of them was doing. They kept it light, the way friends would do. As much as she missed Quinn as her girlfriend, she was happy to have her back in her life in some capacity. And she decided it was better this way. On opposite coasts. Quinn lived her life the way she wanted in Los Angeles and Rachel lived her life in New York. She was proud of Quinn, who was now being more open and honest about who she truly was. She already had a new team of people working for her who really didn't seem to care about Quinn's attraction to women. And no, Quinn wasn't out to the whole world, but she really didn't need to be. Rachel just didn't want her to be afraid to be herself and she was so glad that Quinn was slowly working on that.

She found herself feeling sad sometimes, wishing that all this had happened while they were still together. And as hard as she tried to avoid thinking about it, there were times she regretted breaking up with Quinn. Especially now since Quinn was obviously trying so hard. But Rachel hated living in regret. She simply had to live in the present and look to the future. She had a friendship with Quinn and her career was just beginning. Things were really starting to look up.

Santana had asked her a few times why she wasn't dating anyone. Rachel always answered with "I'm married to the stage." But deep down Rachel was pretty sure Santana could see through her bullshit and that her reason should be "Because I found the one I'm supposed to be with and I let her go." But Rachel could never admit that out loud. That was just too real.

So she settled for 16-hour rehearsal days at the theater and feeling the jolt of joy she got whenever her phone buzzed and she knew it was Quinn messaging. It felt like it did in the beginning of their relationship. When she was always nervous and unsure of how Quinn really felt until she would get a sweet text or a little note from her. It excited her. And it scared her.

So she just kept working, singing, dancing, memorizing lines and blocking, taking notes from her director. Whatever it took to keep her mind clear and focused.

She was just wrapping up another rehearsal when she felt her phone vibrating in her bag. She knew it was Quinn and wanted to answer it, but her director was still talking.

"Great job, you guys. Eric, you need to hit your mark. You were off twice. Where's McKenna?"

One of the dancers cautiously raised her hand.

"You need to see wardrobe about that skirt in "Big Spender" that keeps inching down. We know you're a taxi dancer, but we can't have you bottomless in front of the audience. You don't get paid enough for that."

Everyone chuckled.

"So remember, you all have the next three days off as they finish up the sets and lighting design. I'll see you all back here on Wednesday."

Everyone dispersed and started to head out. Rachel grabbed the phone from her bag and answered it just before it went to voice mail.

"Are you nervous?"

"Me? Nervous? Yes...yes I am," replied Quinn on the other end.

"It's going to be great and you are going to win."

"And how do you know that?"

"I made some calls, greased the wheels and paid off a lot of important people. Quinn, come on. Because I actually saw the entire miniseries. It was beyond incredible and you were the best thing about it."

"It was good, wasn't it?"

Rachel nodded, as if assuming Quinn could see it. "And who will you be wearing?"

"Monique Lhuillier. It's deep crimson, long, and very satiny."

"Sounds adorable."

"More sexy than adorable. It's very low cut."

"Yeah, I'm sure," replied Rachel. "Honestly, I was just trying to avoid the word sexy."

Quinn laughed. "Why?"

"I didn't want you to think I was flirting." Rachel could feel herself blushing as she walked out the stage door of the theater and down the street to head back to her apartment.

"Well then I probably shouldn't have mentioned it was low cut. I guess that was sort of my way of flirting. I'll stop now."

Rachel was quiet for a moment. "I'm really happy for you. I'm so proud. I can't wait to watch you tomorrow."

"You still have a chance to come, you know. You should really be there. If I win, I want to see a friendly face sitting next to me."

"I'm sorry. You know I would. I just...I told you I have rehearsal all week. That's my life now." She hated hearing the lie come out of her mouth, but it was too late to take it back. And she knew it was for the best.

"Well, you promise you'll watch? You'll be home in time to watch it, right?"

"I promise. Santana and Brittany and I have a plan to stuff our faces with goodies and wine and watch you dominate the Emmys."

After a brief silence, Quinn's voice quietly asked, "Is it okay if I tell you I really miss you?"

Rachel smiled as she slowed her pace around the corner. "Is it okay for me to ask you for a photo of you in that dress?"

"Yes."

"Then it's okay for you to tell me you miss me." Rachel couldn't help but be at least a little flirtatious. It was almost impossible not to be that way around Quinn. Besides, they were on opposite ends of the country, so it was harmless.

The silence on the other end was starting to make her nervous. Maybe it wasn't so harmless. Part of her really did want to be with Quinn tomorrow, but she refused to admit it to herself. They were both exactly where they needed to be and Rachel didn't want to complicate that.

"Quinn? Where did you go?"

"I'm here. Sorry. I'll send you a picture when I'm all dressed up tomorrow. You'll be the first to see it."

Rachel's slow paced halted altogether. Why did this conversation feel so different than the other ones they've had since the wedding? Why did it feel awkward? Why did it feel like it was the end of something and the beginning of something at the same time?

"Are you okay, Quinn?"

"Yeah. I just..."

"What?"

"Nothing. So you promise you'll watch?"

"Promise."

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Do you miss me?"

Rachel rubbed her forehead and pinched the bridge of her nose. How was it possible that Quinn Fabray still had this hold over her?

"I miss you every day, Quinn."

"Okay. Just checking."

Quinn hung up and Rachel stood outside her apartment, trying to compose herself. She had gone over it repeatedly with Santana. This was for the best. This was for the best. That was her mantra. Even her dads agreed. This was for the best. Quinn was thriving on her own and becoming the woman Rachel always knew she was. Rachel was just glad to have her back in her life as a friend so she could witness all the great things Quinn had coming. Brittany was the only one who disagree with her mantra.

"This is for the best," she would tell Brittany.

"No, it's not, Rachel Berry. This is for the worst and I'm getting really tired of being the smartest person in this apartment," she would reply. She said it so much, it pretty much became Brittany's own mantra.

She snuck in the door and tiptoed past the newlyweds who were asleep together on the couch with Saturday Night Live on the tv in the background. What she needed was a nice long bath and a good night's sleep.

\--

Santana, Brittany and Rachel were all dressed in their pajamas with a plethora of junk food spread all over the coffee table. Santana started opening the second bottle of wine as the Emmy Awards played on their tv screen. They spent most of the first hour offering commentary on the clothes, the speeches, the winners, and the celebrities. The only time they didn't offer their opinion was when they interviewed Quinn on the red carpet and whenever they showed her face in the crowd during a reaction shot.

Brittany was curled up with Santana in their comfy chair as Rachel was draped over the sofa, laying on her back and trying not to choke on the popcorn she was scarfing down. She was nursing her third glass of wine.

"Quinn looks so hot tonight," remarked Brittany.

"Yeah," replied Rachel. "She looks really hot." Rachel wasn't even paying attention to the screen. She was off in her own world, playing with her hair and very obviously thinking about something...or someone.

Brittany and Santana looked at each other and smirked.

"That's a pretty sexy dress she almost has on," offered Santana.

"Yeah," said Rachel as she took another sip of wine and began braiding her own hair. "It clings to her in all the right places. And shows off just the right amount of skin."

Brittany nudged Santana.

"And her hair..."

"Looks like the hair of a goddess. Free flowing and blonde and really, really...soft," replied Rachel, who opted for pigtail braids.

Santana grinned. "And her makeup looks so great. I love her lipstick. They make her lips look so..."

"Kissable," offered Rachel.

At that, the two girls burst out in laughter as Rachel snapped out of the daze she was in.

"What? What's so funny?"

Before they could answer, the show came back from commercial and the next presenter stated that he would be announcing the award for Best Supporting Actress in a Drama Series.

"Shhhhhh! Shut up, both of you!" snapped Rachel. "Turn it up!"

She jolted up to a sitting position and kept her eyes glued to the TV as he read off the list of nominees.

"For Falling in Place, Quinn Fabray..."

Rachel beamed just watching Quinn's face. She knew the actor on stage was reading off other names, but she couldn't hear a single word he said. She only heard Quinn's name and she could only see Quinn's face. She leaned forward and her fists tightened. Even Brittany and Santana were dead silent as he finished reading the nominees and started opening the envelope.

"And the Emmy goes to..."

Rachel's throat was completely parched. She couldn't even swallow. She was pretty sure even her heart stopped beating so as not to make any unnecessary noise at this moment. Rachel bit her lip and focused only on the shot of Quinn as he read the name.

"Quinn Fabray for Falling in Place!"

All three roommates jumped up and cheered and hugged each other. Brittany grabbed the bottle of champagne they were saving and popped the cork, spilling champagne everywhere. They didn't even bother with glasses. They swigged from the bottle as Quinn made her way up to the stage. Not once did Rachel take her eyes away from the screen.

Quinn looked perfect and she was certainly in her element, right where she belonged: on tv with millions of people hanging on to her every word. Rachel was more proud now than she was when she got the lead in Sweet Charity.

As Quinn reached the podium, Rachel knew in that instant. Actually, she had always known, but this time she was able to admit it to herself. She was and always has been in love with Quinn Fabray. And she didn't care if no one knew about them, ten people knew about them, or the whole world knew about them. All she knew was she wanted to be with her. Unconditionally. Nothing else mattered. She smiled with tears in her eyes as Quinn began to speak.

"Thank you. Wow. Thank you so much." She looked around the audience. "It's unbelievable up here. Wow! Hi!" Quinn waved to someone she recognized. "This is incredible. This has certainly been quite a year for me. And I'm beyond lucky. I'm especially lucky to have been a part of such an amazing cast and an incredible show. I'm so grateful." She paused for a moment and took a noticeable breath. "But this moment isn't complete. Because I'm not complete. I worked so hard on this show and put so much of my heart and soul into it. And there was someone who was by my side the entire time. Someone who made me want to be better. Someone who pushed me when I was tired and someone who encouraged me when this role was so emotionally draining. Someone I could always be myself around at the end of the day. No matter what role I play, she's the one who always sees me for who I am." She paused once more, looked down at her award, and then looked up again with a shrug and a smile. "And I'm in love with her. This grueling role challenged me for months when I was filming. But Rachel Berry challenges me every day of my life. And I want her to be a part of it forever. So if I'm ever lucky enough to win another prestigious award like this, I can run off stage into her arms and know that we won together. Rachel, you are where I belong. You are my home. So here's to one more grand gesture." She held up the award in victory. "Thank you all."

While Quinn's speech was followed by a stunned silence and dropped jaws in Rachel's living room, the ballroom of the Beverly Hilton erupted with wild applause and as the camera panned back, it showed each person in attendance giving Quinn a standing ovation.

Rachel, herself, stood up with her mouth still open. Santana and Brittany watched with bated breath to see what Rachel would do or say.

Rachel looked from the tv to the girls, then to the tv again and to the girls again.

"Did she just..."

Santana nodded. "Yeah."

Rachel was in shock. Quinn's words kept echoing in her head. She looked over at Santana and blurted out the words she had been wanting to say for months.

"I have to get to Los Angeles."

Brittany stood up and clapped. "Yay! We'll drive you to the airport!"

Santana joined in and jumped up excitedly. "Screw the airport. We're going with you to L.A."

"We are?" Brittany looked at her eagerly.

"You really don't have to," offered Rachel.

"Yes we do, Berry. Knowing you, you'll find a way to screw this up. You need us there. You need our help. Besides, it'll a nice little honeymoon for me and Brit Brit."

"So, we're going to LA," asked Rachel.

"We're going to LA," the newlyweds yelled in unison.

\--

After a pricey last-minute purchase for a red eye to Los Angeles and five hours in the air with Brittany and Santana by her side, Rachel's nerves started bubbling up the moment they landed at LAX Airport.

Brittany tried to keep Rachel calm as Santana stood in line to rent a car.

"It's gonna be okay, Rachel. She'll be so happy to see you."

"What if she's not?"

"Quinn loves you. You two were meant for each other. Anyone who's ever been around you two knows that."

Rachel took a deep breath, trying to psych herself up.

"What if she thinks I'm only here because of her speech?"

"Are you?"

"No. I've been thinking about this for a while. I've missed her so much. I was just too stupid to realize it and too stubborn to admit it."

"As Quinn's best friend, I can tell you she was equally as stupid and stubborn. Come on. Let's go get a Cinnabon while we wait for Santana."

After a half hour drive in Los Angeles traffic, they pulled up to their destination. It was a rather large house in the Hollywood Hills. Quinn told Rachel she finally got tired of living out of hotels, so she rented out a place on a month to month lease. Thankfully, Brittany had the address.

Santana put the car in park and looked back at Rachel.

"Go get her, tiger. Brit and I are going to hit the beach. Call us if and when you need us. We'll wait a few minutes before we leave."

Rachel was beyond nervous at this point, but she knew there was no going back. She took one final deep breath to calm herself down before getting out of the car and heading up the stairs to the front door. She turned to look behind her when she heard the car door slam.

"Berry, wait!" Santana came charging up behind her.

"What is it?"

Santana took her hand and gave Rachel a reassuring look.

"Whatever happens, I want you to know that you are the most remarkable woman I've ever known. My little girl is all grown up now. I used to be so annoyed with you. I really thought I hated you. But this journey we went on? Me and Britt and you and Quinn and New York and weddings and trying to survive and navigate through our lives? It's been epic. And I can't wait to see what happens next. You surprised the hell out of me, Berry. No matter what happens, know that I love you and I'll always be here for you. And I can't wait to see what epic adventures we'll have next."

Rachel couldn't believe what she just heard. She knew Santana was a sap at heart and she knew the Latina truly did care about her, but she never thought she'd see the day Santana would say the words out loud.

"Santana, you really are a softie."

"And if you tell anyone, I'll deny it to the end. Now go get that blonde bitch so she can come back to New York with us and we can all live happily ever after."

Santana walked back to the car and Rachel made her way up the stairs to the front door.

She stood there for a moment, trying to force herself to knock on the door. This is it. Everything Rachel ever needed or wanted was behind this door. All she had to do was knock.


	37. I Feel Like I've Been Found

Rachel's knocking was silenced when the door finally swung open. Quinn didn't seem all that surprised to see her, but she did look thrilled, just the same. Rachel tried to keep her composure. She knew there was a good chance she would cry upon her reunion with Quinn, but she didn't think it would be before she could even get a word out.

Quinn had grown her hair out. It was much longer than the last time she saw her. Even at the Emmy Awards, it didn't seem this long. Her hair was well past her shoulders, blonde and wavy, almost dancing in the sun. She wanted to reach out and stroke the golden tresses. But she put her hands in her pockets, instead, while searching for something to say.

Finally, with a quiver in her voice, she said the first thing she could think of.

"I didn't come here just because of your speech."

Quinn nodded.

"I didn't make that speech just to get you to come here. It's just something I should have done a long time ago."

Rachel smiled. "I've been thinking about coming here for a while now. I just..."

"You have the play."

Rachel nodded.

"And I had some growing up to do."

Rachel shrugged. "Maybe. So...do you want to go get some coffee? Talk things out?"

Quinn shifted in the doorway. "Yeah, I think I can go for some coffee."

Rachel fidgeted. "Or..."

Quinn urged her to finish her thought. "Or..."

There was only one way to express what she was thinking and talking wasn't it. Rachel sprung forward and they crashed together in a passionate kiss. She pushed Quinn inside the house and Quinn, wasting no time, kicked the door shut. Then she turned Rachel around, slammed her up against the wall and reciprocated the fiery kiss.

Rachel then pushed off the door and, while still kissing her, guided Quinn backward toward the living room. As the clothes came off, they both dropped to the floor with Rachel hovering over Quinn. There was no time to find another surface. No couch, no bedroom, not even the kitchen table. This was going to happen right here and right now and the floor was going to have to do.

Rachel seamlessly removed the remainder of her clothes and looked down at the beautiful, naked blonde beneath her. Their chests were heaving in and out, trying to catch a breath. But there was no time to wait for air. It had already been too long. Rachel's lips and hands immediately went to work as Quinn squirmed underneath her, reacting to every single touch.

Both girls knew this wasn't going to be one of those gentle, sweet love-making sessions. This was going to be rough and sloppy and intense to the point of painful. And it was going to be beautiful.

\--

The soft, plush carpet felt good on Rachel's back. She lay there looking up at the ceiling with her head resting on Quinn's arm as their hands intertwined. Up until five minutes ago, they were completely naked until the central air conditioning kicked in and it got too cold, prompting Quinn to grab the blanket off the couch and throw it over them.

Rachel was studying the grooves of Quinn's knuckles as the blonde nuzzled into her neck.

"Your knuckles stick out a lot," observed Rachel.

"What?"

"I never noticed that before. Do you crack your knuckles a lot?"

"Um...I guess. I have been more recently."

"We'll have to rid you of that habit."

"I'm sorry my knuckles are chubby."

"I didn't say they're chubby. I say they stick out. And they're quite cute. But cracking knuckles causes arthritis."

Quinn pulled her hand away from Rachel's and proceeded to crack her knuckles.

"Yeah, but it feels sooooo good."

Rachel grabbed Quinn's hand again and pinned it down to the floor.

"Don't make me get physical."

"But that feels sooooo good, too," teased Quinn. She kissed Rachel sweetly because she knew she would get an earful otherwise.

"You're lucky you're cute," replied Rachel as she nipped at Quinn's neck.

"I'm lucky you're mine."

"Am I yours?"

Quinn turned on her side and rested her head on her hand. "Rachel, if this was a booty call, I'm going to be very upset. Very satisfied physically, but very upset."

Rachel sighed. "Ok then. I guess I'm yours."

"And?"

The brunette rolled her eyes. "And you're mine."

As the air conditioning blasted, they cuddled more under the blanket, their bodies easily falling into one another.

"So does this mean you're coming back to New York?"

Quinn smiled and kissed Rachel's hair. "Are you kidding? I won't even pack. We can leave today if you want. I kind of grew fond of New York. It wasn't really the same when I moved back here. Besides, it's where you are. You think I'm going to let you out of my sight again?"

"You're going to have to when you get your next project."

"We'll cross that path when we come to it. I'm thinking of taking some time off."

"Really? How much time?"

"Six months. A year. A lifetime. Who knows?"

Rachel gave her a dubious look.

"Okay, maybe not a lifetime. But a significant amount of time. I need a break."

"Well, whatever you decide, we don't have to leave today, so you can at least take your time in packing. Besides, Santana and Brittany won't want to leave so soon."

"Wait, hold on a sec. Brittany and Santana are here?"

Rachel nodded.

"In LA?"

"We all flew out together. They dropped me off."

"Where are they now?"

"Probably off having sex on the beach. Brittany said she's not going to leave LA until that happens."

Quinn chuckled. Then, she came to a very harsh realization.

"Shit."

"What?"

"They still live with you, don't they?"

"Yes."

"How am I going to ask them to move out of the apartment?"

Rachel laughed hysterically. "You're not."

"No?"

"Nope. You know how bad New York real estate is. Especially if you don't make much money. They can't go back to a tiny studio apartment now that they've had a taste of the big, fancy apartment. You might just be stuck with them forever."

"But...it's MY apartment."

"It's OUR apartment. And they're really not bad roommates. Brittany's kind of a clean freak and Santana's actually a pretty good cook."

"But...but...sex." Quinn sounded defeated.

"It's okay. They know we have sex. Just like I know THEY do. It's ridiculous how loud they are. Even noise canceling headphones didn't help. But now we can give them a run for their money."

Quinn smiled. "Well that's something I can get on board with. Okay fine. I guess they can stay."

"You're so cute when you think you have a choice in the matter."

Quinn laughed. "God, I missed you."

"I missed you, too."

"Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm excited to come back home."

 

Epilogue

Five years later...

Waiting quietly in the wings of the historic Gershwin Theater, Quinn watched as Rachel entranced the audience with her performance. She wasn't supposed to be here tonight. She was supposed to be at home packing and getting ready for her flight to Los Angeles for another press junket. But when Rachel texted her and asked her to come tonight, Quinn dropped everything and headed right for the theater.

This was her first time watching the show from the wings. She had seen plenty of performances from the audience, but since the show had already started by the time she got here tonight, Rachel arranged for her to hang out back stage. It was one of the perks of being the star of a successful original Tony Award winning Broadway musical. Havoc Town opened a year ago and Rachel, hot off her consecutive lead performances in Sweet Charity, West Side Story, and Fun Home, was the producers' first choice to play the lead. Rachel gladly accepted and since then, it has been a whirlwind. Quinn could not be more proud of her girlfriend. And she was so grateful to be with her during every step of her meteoric rise. Now, two Tony awards later - she had won for both this show and for Sweet Charity - this was Rachel's final month starring in the musical. Once she leaves Havoc Town, she'll be filming a movie for a few months in Italy.

Quinn wasn't doing so bad, herself. She was currently starring in a new successful television show that conveniently films in New York City. Oh, and she just so happened to be cast in a new film that starts production in Italy soon. And it just so happened to be the same film Rachel landed a role in. No favors were exchanged, no strings were pulled. It just happened that way. They both nailed the screen test and the producers noticed there was obvious chemistry between the two. They were both beyond excited to finally be able to work together. Everything was falling into place.

Quinn watched as Rachel finished her show-stopping number right before she show went to intermission. Quinn joined in with the thunderous applause and greeted Rachel with a kiss as she walked off stage.

"As always, that was amazing," said Quinn as she followed Rachel into her dressing room.

"Thanks, love. It always knocks the wind out of me. It's hard to hold that note."

"Well, you only have to do it eighteen more times," observed Quinn as she locked the dressing room door.

"Very true." Rachel turned to see the look Quinn was giving her. "What?"

"You are so sexy. I forgot how much I love seeing you in costume." Quinn started walking toward her.

Rachel looked down at her strapless red dress and knee-high boots. "You made that very clear when the show first opened. Remember how naked I felt on stage?"

"No, but I remember how naked I wanted you to be."

"On stage?"

"God no! In our bed. Or in our kitchen. Or in our bathroom. Or..."

Quinn's voice trailed off as she watched Rachel reapply some makeup in the mirror, She moved closer to Rachel, grabbed her by the waist and turned her around.

"...in your dressing room."

She started kissing Rachel's neck, but was met with nervous laughter.

"Quinn, you are not getting me naked right now. I have to be back on stage in ten minutes. They're going to call places in five."

Quinn's lips attacked the exposed skin even more fervently. She didn't even care that she was messing up Rachel's stage makeup. Rachel didn't seem to care much, either, even though she was feigning resistance.

"Quinn, we can't." She put her hand behind Quinn's neck, but instead of trying to push her off, she pulled her closer. "I have to get ready."

"Ok. Get ready. I'm not stopping you. Just work around me." Quinn lowered her mouth toward Rachel's chest.

Rachel's breathing was becoming more and more erratic. "That's kind of hard to do while you're...doing that."

"Then you're going to have to learn to multitask." Quinn gripped Rachel's ass tightly, picked her up, and placed her on the vanity counter.

Rachel let out a gasp as Quinn quickly pushed her legs open and positioned herself between them. The brunette moaned with anticipation.

"You better touch up that makeup, Rach. You don't have much time," warned Quinn as she moved her right hand up Rachel's leg.

Rachel panted. "Wh...why do you always insist on making things difficult for me?"

Quinn's hand moved up underneath Rachel's dress and tugged on her underwear, slowly pulling the garment down so she can have better access to what she really wanted.

"Don't worry," whispered Quinn against Rachel's ear. "I'll make this nice and easy for you."

Her fingers made the delightful contact she was aching for. Met with wetness, Quinn couldn't control herself and pushed her fingers in, forgetting all about any kind of teasing or foreplay. There simply wasn't enough time for that.

She slammed Rachel against the vanity mirror and the brunette screamed in shock and pleasure. Quinn used her hips to move her fingers in and out of Rachel, working up a rhythm and getting herself worked up in the process. She kept her face buried in Rachel's neck as she continued to pleasure her girlfriend. Her hips began to push harder and faster and she could tell Rachel was slowly coming undone.

Suddenly, there was a loud knock on the door.

"Places, Rachel!"

Quinn looked back at the door. "Should I stop?"

"Don't even think about it," begged Rachel. "I'll...I'll be right there!"

Quinn kissed Rachel as she curled her fingers inside of her, eliciting a loud moan from her.

"God, that feels so good."

Another knock at the door. "Rachel, places! You're on in literally one minute!"

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Shit. Baby, we have to stop."

Quinn shook her head and kissed her harder, curling her fingers into her once more.

"No. You make THEM wait. Not me." Quinn didn't even know where that came from, but she knew there was no way she could stop what she was doing.

The knocking on the dressing room door turned to pounding as the stage manager yelled once more.

"Rachel, you need to come out now! Everyone is waiting!"

"Almost done!" Rachel yelled, out of breath. She pulled Quinn closer to her and started grinding against her fingers.

Quinn almost came instantly when Rachel did that.

"Holy shit, you're so hot, Rach."

"Shut up and fuck me."

Quinn swallowed hard. This was definitely bringing out a different side of Rachel. She liked it. A lot.

More pounding on the door. "Rachel! This is not funny! We don't have time for this shit! What are you doing in there? Your makeup is fine! Get out here now!"

"Two seconds!" yelled Rachel, as she squeezed her eyes shut and threw her head back.

Quinn reached the spot she knew would make Rachel lose it. She felt Rachel's walls clench tightly around her fingers as Rachel lowered her head and bit into Quinn's shoulder to muffle the sound of her orgasm. Breathing deeply, and moaning a bit too loud, Rachel continued to ride Quinn's fingers as her orgasm died down. Quinn could still feel her twitching and pulsating and gave her a gentle kiss on her lips as she slowly slid her fingers out.

Quinn smiled coyly. "Your audience awaits, my love."

Rachel kept her cool, smoothed out her dress and fixed her hair. As she composed herself and walked out the door, she turned back to Quinn.

"Just remember: payback's a bitch."

\--

Quinn was quite pleased with herself. She watched the second act from the wings and spent most of the time thinking about how she couldn't wait to continue with what they were doing in the dressing room.

Once the show ended and after Rachel and the cast took their bows, Quinn greeted her in the wings once more.

"Hey, I'm just gonna wipe my makeup off and go change real quick. Wait for me out here. I'll just be a few minutes." She gave Quinn a quick kiss and scurried off to her dressing room before Quinn could even respond.

She watched as the crew began cleaning up from tonight's show and some of the ensemble cast were joking around with each other while heading backstage to change and go home for the night.

While waiting, Quinn sat down on the steps leading up to the catwalk. She watched and listened as the voices and footsteps became fewer and farther between. It seemed like most of the crew had already left and she waved goodbye to some of the cast members that she knew as they walked out the stage door. She wasn't really surprised when Rachel's "few minutes" turned into fifteen minutes. Then twenty minutes. When it came upon a half hour and she was pretty sure there was no one left in the theater, she got up and ran into one of the dancers in the show.

"You're here late."

"Yeah, I hurt my ankle during the last number, so I had to ice it for a bit. It's good to see you again!"

"You too. Oh wait, have you seen Rachel? Do you know if she's still in her dressing room?"

"Actually, the last time I saw her, she was on the other side of the stage. Not sure what she was doing, though."

Quinn looked over to where she was pointing. "OK thanks. And take care of that ankle."

"I will. Goodnight."

Quinn started walking across the empty stage to look for Rachel, but when she got halfway there, the lights suddenly went out. She stopped dead in her tracks not knowing what to do. It was completely dark and she couldn't see anything. She was afraid to move for fear of falling into the orchestra pit.

"Uh...hello?" All she heard was the echo of her 'hello.'

"Rach?" She tried to listen for a response, but heard nothing. She still couldn't see anything. "Rach? Is this what you meant by payback? Because it's not funny!"

There was still no response and Quinn was starting to think that maybe Rachel had forgotten about her. But then why would she have asked her to come tonight? Unless this was a whole elaborate prank. If so, then it would likely be a long time before Quinn would find it funny. What was she supposed to do? Crawl her way off the stage and feel around for any trap doors? She reached in her pocket and realized she left her cell phone in Rachel's dressing room.

"Shit." She tried to keep calm. "It's okay. You're okay. It's just a little darkness. What was that!?"

She thought she heard something coming from the wings and turned around, unsure of what direction she was even facing.

"Hello?"

Suddenly, she was blinded. A stream of white light nearly burned her retinas. She blocked the light with her hands and squinted.

"What the hell is that?"

She heard a voice in the distance.

"Oh come on, Quinn. You're an actress. I would think you would know what a spotlight is."

Quinn turned around to try to follow the voice. Her eyes were finally starting to adjust to the light, but it was only herself that was lit and not the rest of the stage.

Then, a second spotlight appeared to Quinn's left suddenly. When she looked over, she saw Rachel standing in it, facing Quinn.

"There you are. What is going on? Do you have any idea how scary that was?"

Rachel shrugged. "I'm sorry. You know I have a flare for the dramatic."

"It's one of the things I love about you. But can you tell me why you chose to scare the shit out of me?"

"I just wanted the spotlight to be on you. And on me. Just the two of us."

Quinn's adrenaline rush was finally calming down as she saw the genuine look of love on Rachel's face. "Just the two of us and the lighting guys?"

"They're just here to help add the drama."

"The drama of what?"

Rachel stepped closer to Quinn, leaned up and kissed her. "I love you, Quinn."

"I love you, too."

"And I love the life we've built together. I love that we're continuing to grow together."

Quinn smiled and kissed her girlfriend. "You're going to make me cry."

She gazed at the brunette. The spotlight created a slight halo over her beautiful hair and Quinn was taken aback at just how stunning Rachel was in the moment. At least once a day, she has this same realization. She's always so in awe of her beauty and feels so lucky that Rachel chose her to be with. And in those moments, she feels her love for her grow even more.

"You're so beautiful, Rachel."

Rachel smiled and looked up at Quinn as she slowly knelt to the floor on one knee.

Quinn was confused for a second and was about to help Rachel up until she realized just what was happening.

"Oh my God. Rachel?"

Rachel grabbed her hand. "Quinn, this life with you has been crazy. Full of adventure and uncertainty and love and fear and passion and even a little bit of pain. On a given day, you make me feel every single emotion a human being can feel. Even when you frustrate me, it's still a beautiful feeling. I'm alive when I'm with you. And all this...the acting, the fame, the success we've both had, none of it would mean anything if you weren't here to share it with me. I can't seem to go a day without thinking about marrying you. I want to be your wife. I want to share all my successes and failures, all my diva moments and vulnerable moments, my life and my love with you."

She pulled a ring box from behind her back and opened it.

"Quinn, will you marry me?"

At that moment, Quinn started crying. She couldn't help it. She felt a lump in her throat the moment Rachel got down on one knee and now, she was blubbering like a baby. She tried to compose herself. Rachel asked her a question and dammit, she was going to answer her. But every time she tried to answer, a bunch of sobs just came out.

Rachel looked up at her with so much hope, so much love and very obvious anticipation. Her eyes looked so lovingly up at Quinn, waiting for an answer.

Quinn was chastising herself. The love of her life was waiting for one simple answer. One word. That's all she needed to get out.

She opened her mouth again, and sounds other than sobs came out, but none of them sounded remotely like what she was trying to say.

Frustrated, she took a deep breath, knelt down to Rachel's level and gave her an answer the only way she could at this moment. She nodded excitedly and kissed her, almost knocking her over and not caring at all how salty her lips must taste right now with all the tears.

Rachel immediately started crying, too.

"Is that a yes?"

Quinn smiled nodded emphatically once more.

Rachel wiped a few tears away from Quinn's cheek, then wiped away her own tears.

"Sweetie, I'm going to need a verbal answer. It makes it more official."

Quinn inhaled deeply and cried to control her emotions. She brought her hand up to Rachel's face to brush some hair off of her cheek. Rachel's eyes anchored her and helped her to focus.

She nodded again and whispered, "Yes."

Rachel breathed a sigh of joyous relief and removed the ring from the box. Quinn felt the platinum band with the sparkling diamond glide along her left ring finger. It fit perfectly. Everything about Rachel seemed to fit perfectly into Quinn's life.

The two of them stayed there on their knees, holding each other on the empty stage, with the spotlight focused solely on them.

Rachel kissed her and Quinn felt it everywhere. After all this time, Rachel still managed to send shockwaves through her body.

Rachel started to get up and helped Quinn up off her knees. She took her hand.

"Come on. Let's go home."

"I can't believe you did this."

Rachel guided them toward the stage door.

"So, what do you say to a honeymoon in Italy? We can stay behind after filming is wrapped."

Quinn squeezed her hand. "Sounds perfect. Anywhere with you is perfect."

Rachel opened the stage door and Quinn walked out feeling safer than she had ever felt in her entire life. It's funny how some things turn out. She had been searching for something to keep her grounded and something that truly felt like home. She found that in Rachel and she hoped that in some way, she was able to do the same for her.

After feeling so lost for so long, Quinn was finally found.

The End


End file.
